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Old 03-18-2004, 10:52 PM   #1
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Smackdown! Captions (03-18-04)




























































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Old 03-18-2004, 11:25 PM   #2
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Old 03-18-2004, 11:46 PM   #3
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Shannon Moore got bored and changed the channel to "Walker Texas Ranger".


Paul started to have a flash back....


Reporter: How do you pleasure your wife taker?


Bradshaaw relized he did leave his ham in the oven
Last edited by Savio; 03-19-2004 at 12:06 AM.
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Old 03-19-2004, 12:02 AM   #4
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some good pics, can't wait till more people do captions

these are the first captions i'm ever doing so go easy on me.


John Cena shows us exactly how he won the Whistling Championship


No matter what, Big Show will always try to be more like his childhood idol, Micheal Jackson
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Old 03-19-2004, 01:26 AM   #5
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Cena's spelling lessons didn't go too far with Goldberg, but, Cena was proud of Goldy nonetheless and commended the effort.


Paul "The Agent" Heyman quickly became frustrated when he realized that John Cena was "The One."


Cena: Thanks a ton Rhyno.
Rhyno: Hey man, anything for a buddy. Would hate to see you lose that hair like Molly did.


Rhyno: Aw crap, I'm stuck like this forever! Now I am forever doomed to the Hardcore Holly caption pose!


Faarooq: "I'd like a passport to South Africa..."
Heyman: "But... you're bleck!"

(Rep for reference.)


We know you're leaving Faarooq, but jeez, the least you can do is sell the DDT.


The Croc Hunter stumbled into the wrong part of Africa.


Scotty: Oh croykee, he's rilly got me now. He's slowly, just squeazin the 'ell ou' uh my neck. Lookit the soizuvum!


Bradshaw's reaction to Faarooq telling him, that all along, the APA was just a dream and that Faarooq was really just an imaginary friend.


Beating up your partner is bad enough, but do you really have to do it while breastfeeding a brown chicken?


You could always count on Haas, so selfless in helping his partner stretch his legs, so that he was tall enough to become a main-eventer.


Faarooq: That's me in the corner, that's me in the spot, light, losin' my religion... Tryin' to keep, an eye on you, but I don't know if I can do it... Oh no, I've said too much. I haven't said enough...
Bradshaw: I thought that I saw you laughing. I thought that I heard you sing. I think I thought I saw you try.
Faarooq: But that was just a dream, just a dream, just a dream... Dream.
Bradshaw:


Billy asked the ref how many pushes he had left, and the ref was too ashamed to show his face when he answered. This made Billy cry.


The racist referee couldn't comprehend the idea of the brother holding the man down and collapsed.


This would prove once and for ALL that the WWE's release of Zach Gowen was not a discriminating act. Not only did this guy have one leg, but HE WAS BLACK!


Benjamin LaForge: Switching to armlock position.
Captain Rey: Roger that.
Benjamin LaForge: Systems are go, executing armlock.
Captain Rey: Negative, negative.
Benjamin LaForge: Sir?
Captain Rey: Hang on, we're being hailed.


Captain Rey: This is Captain Mysterio of the SmackDown Enterprise. State your business.
Big Show Reiker: (Laughing) Wow, I didn't know they promoted Beverly Crusher's son to captain while I let myself go.


Little Rey got scared when the Big Show started jumping up and down on the wheel-go-round and shaking it.


It sure was nice of The Big Show to hold Rey up so the crowd could actually see him.


John Cena was caught red-handed after stealing one of Lita's thongs!


Paying him in KFC coupons was enough, and The Big Show was not about to put up with the referee doing the YMCA in the middle of his match.


Rey: I get a bag of incholadas, and then I eat them with my brud-dahs.
Eddie: Rey, you have really got to stop trying to rap.
Rey: I gotta eat me some more nachos, eating tortilla chips es moi macho.
Eddie: That's it holmes.
Rey: Oh no, not my arm, I need my job, please don't do me harm.


Ref: Hold still Rey, there's a huge ladybug on your head...


Worst. Perfect Plex. Ever.


Eddie asked Heyman to also consider implimenting a "WWE Illegal Immigrant Tag Team" title in the future as well.


(Paul Heyman turns on his TV.)
(8)When the eyes of the ranger are upon you...(8)
(Paul quickly changes the channel.)


(Voice from TV): STICK YOUR COCK IN MY ASS. ROAR! (Little girl wiggles her tongue rapidly out of her mouth.)
Heyman:


Since the WWE figured Brock couldn't carry his own weight, they jobbed a 290-pound deadweight to the Undertaker instead.


Undertaker proved he was the baddest horror story character of them all, when he defeated the Headless Horseman clean in the middle of the ring.


Okay. So Vince McMahon gathers up all the WWE talent. He tells them that his beautiful daughter is off limits. And to ensure that everyone abide by these rules, he carefully placed razor-blades in her genitals. The next day, Vince stops by Triple H, pulls down his pants, sees nicks and cuts on his wang and fires him. Then he sees Jericho, who has the same nicks as Trips on his penis, and fires him, and this continues with all of the WWE talent. Until Vince finally comes to 'Taker. 'Taker drops his pants, and Vince smiles in approval. Vince says, "Thank you, Undertaker, for respecting my wishes."

The Undertaker says, "Aly thime, Vish."


As if the bandanna weren't enough, The Undertaker truly represented his crip brothers with light effects.
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Old 03-19-2004, 04:38 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rock Bottom


Okay. So Vince McMahon gathers up all the WWE talent. He tells them that his beautiful daughter is off limits. And to ensure that everyone abide by these rules, he carefully placed razor-blades in her genitals. The next day, Vince stops by Triple H, pulls down his pants, sees nicks and cuts on his wang and fires him. Then he sees Jericho, who has the same nicks as Trips on his penis, and fires him, and this continues with all of the WWE talent. Until Vince finally comes to 'Taker. 'Taker drops his pants, and Vince smiles in approval. Vince says, "Thank you, Undertaker, for respecting my wishes."

The Undertaker says, "Aly thime, Vish."
ROFLMAO
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Old 03-20-2004, 12:51 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rock Bottom

(Paul Heyman turns on his TV.)
(8)When the eyes of the ranger are upon you...(8)
(Paul quickly changes the channel.)
Theif!
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Old 03-20-2004, 12:58 PM   #8
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The women forgot the camera was on flash and Taker went blind shortly after this picture was taken.
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Old 03-20-2004, 08:59 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Savior
Theif!
I didn't read yours, and it was only a build up to my next caption... Why would I want to steal your captions?

I never read them before I do them. Takes the fun out of it.
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Old 03-19-2004, 01:33 AM   #10
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Cena had to quickly explain that a "heyman-roonie" did not equal ratings.
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Old 03-19-2004, 01:34 AM   #11
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You showered without me?!


The ref took this oppurtunity to mock the Big Show behind his back


Heyman: By god... a man with more chins then me
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Old 03-19-2004, 01:45 AM   #12
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After John lost his voice, he had to resort to the old Wile E. Coyote gimmick.



The first Smackdown after Wrestlemania saw the debut of John "the Not-so-Subtle Kleptomaniac" Cena.



The first Smackdwon after Wrestlemania also saw the debut of Rhyno the Headlice Inspector.



Cena: "Alright, big boy, I think you've had enough wrasslin' for tonight. Time to go home for your nap."
Rhyno: "Awwww..."



There was no way in hell Farooq was smelling Paul's finger. Bradshaw, on the other hand, was more than a little intrigued.



Unlike other wrestlers, Farooq was always prepared when it started raining midcarders.



Farooq: "Gawd, my last day here and they have me booked against a one-armed, one-legged wrestler?"



Paul was VERY insistent that Farooq smell his finger.



And suddenly, it dawned on Farooq: this guy looked NOTHING like Bradshaw!



Haas: "No no, Shelton. You bend your arm like this, and THEN you say, 'Here is my spout.'"



If they were going to end up on different brands, Haas was going to collect on the $100 deposit he paid for Shelton's matching boots.



Bradshaw: "Look, I don't care if you leave, but please don't tell anyone I'm really a low paid temp. Please?"



It's always a pain when a long nose hair gets between you and a good match.



After viewing more than he'd originally intended, Shelton concluded that the whole "assman" thing was wildly overrated.



Shelton had no idea that his biggest fan was none other than Rey Mysterio!



The mischievous ref gives Rey the wedgie of a lifetime.



Big Show: "Heh heh... Brock was right. Teletubbies are the bomb!"



Rey froze in his tracks. Andy Kaufman was alive! And he hadn't been taking his Stacker 2.



The crowd was amazed beyond belief when the Ref threw Rey in Big Show's waiting arms.



John's mom had warmed him a million times that if he kept funny faces, his face would freeze that way.



Seconds after secretly moving the giant sky wrench was in position, and the Ref giggled as he used it snap Wight's shoulder strap.



Ref: "This isn't Pepsi, it's Pepsi Twist! And this isn't Rey..."
Rey: "Oh my God, my career!"



Rey: "Wait a minute... Golddust's boots?"



In an incredibly surreal scene ripped off from the Matrix, everyone ducks in slow motion as the Joe Louis Fist crashes through the arena.



Eddie: "We have to stick close together, Rey. I think we're the last two wrestlers left on Smackdown."



Taker: "Draw, pardnuh."
Bearer: "And pour me another sasparelly, bartender."



Heyman was shocked. Taker was back... and he was wearing a new HAT!



Taker: "And, well, until I get enough money for my glaucoma surgery, I'm afraid I'm going to need Bearer around as a sort of seeing eye-dog, if you know what I mean."

OR

The WWE debut of Captain Jack Sparrow.



Dear God, I don't think anyone expected Paul to do a hurricarana!



Taker's response to any suggestion that he'd have to do the job.



Taker's mom told him a million times that if he ever tried to look cross-eyed, his face would freeze that way.
Last edited by El Santo; 03-19-2004 at 02:22 AM.
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Old 03-19-2004, 03:09 AM   #13
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Cena's new "Grammar Police" gimmick got off to a rocky start when he started confiscating all the grammatically incorrect signs that security had missed at the gate and waving them tauntingly at the guards.


When Heyman's right hand shocked the world and turned heel on Paul's face, it was up to Cena to restrain the two.


Rhyno and Cena's friendship quickly went downhill after Rhyno accidentally ripped the hair off the back of Cena's scalp.


Unfortunately for John, part of U.S. Champion duties included lugging things to and from the Golden Box of Lost Gimmicks.


Paul: "Wait, Farooq, you mean you actually took Bradshaw's advice on that ImClone stock?"
Farooq: "Well, he IS my friend, and..."
Bradshaw:


Farooq: "It's rainin' men! Hallelujah, it's rainin' men! Baby!"


The veteran Farooq was much too clever to allow Scotty to make the tag to Richards and possibly turn the momentum of the match.


Farooq was just in the middle of taking out his frustrations over his impending layoff when the ref just HAD to distract him by telling some wisecrack to shoot him in the ass.


Farooq: "You told me that ImClone stock was gonna be GOLD!"
Bradshaw: "Um... yeah... about that..."


Charlie was going to help his friend touch his back, no matter how drastic the course of action may be!


Haas evidentally needed a little help on the concept of swing dancing.


Bradshaw: "I was gonna tell ya! Honest! But I had to tell Martha first, and well, things led to other things, and before I knew it, we were planning out how to redecorate my house!
Farooq:
Bradshaw: "I swear you were next on my warning list!"


Benjamin: "I'm a better wrestler. I'm more over. I'm more athletic. I'm more technically sound. I have better stamina..."
Gunn: "Okay! Okay! *sob* I get it! You're better than me! Stop rubbing it in! "
Benjamin: "...I don't oversell every single move. I don't need my ass to get me over. People actually care about me..."


For all that his monicker embodied and connotated, Mr. Ass could be really feisty about graphic HGA.


The Rey Mysterio Easy Chair needed a little more fine-tuning.


Poor Benjamin. Not only was he unable to touch his back, he needed Mysterio's help to touch the back of his head too!


Show: "Hehe... you're real name is Oscar... hehe..."


Rey wasn't sure what to do when Hugo from Street Fighter III came lumbering over in his new costume.


And they say Show doesn't put other people over...


Cena demostrates what he had to do to get the title.

OR

Cena's plan to randomly run in other people's matches and suck up all their talent was foiled when he saw his target:



Mysterio and Guerrero dazzled the crowd with their exciting, high flying luchelibre brand of HGA.


Eddie Guerrero: sound technical wrestler, WWE Heavyweight Champion, expert promo giver, and masterful shoulder massager.


Just when he'd thought he'd defeated his alcohol demons, Eddie had to contend with his Grow-A-Mysterio-Itis demons.


Even though he'd just wrestled a grueling match, Eddie still was nice enough to help the strange masked midget across the ring.


Percy Pringle didn't exactly improve other people's opinions of him when he carried his McDonald's take-out bag with him to the ring.


What, Heyman.... you act like you've never seen a zombie-cowboy hybrid before.


Undertaker's new image was so boring it even put himself to sleep.


Having missed the past few months, Taker decided to catch up with the times and rummage through other people's asses and see what he could find, ala Batista on RAW.


Um... we really didn't need to see Taker orally pleasure Steven Richards live on the air.


The unfortunate debut of Smurf Cowboys was greeted with dismal ratings.
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Old 03-19-2004, 03:50 AM   #14
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Faarooq: "I'd like a passport to South Africa..."
Heyman: "But... you're bleck!"

(Rep for reference.)



Lethal Weapon 2
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Old 03-19-2004, 03:54 AM   #15
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Faarooq: TURTLE! TURTLE!! TURTLE!!!
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Old 03-19-2004, 01:09 PM   #16
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Faarooq: "I'd like a passport to South Africa..."
Heyman: "But... you're bleck!"

(Rep for reference.)




From Lethal Weapon 2-I love those movies
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Old 03-19-2004, 04:09 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eternalone79
Faarooq: "I'd like a passport to South Africa..."
Heyman: "But... you're bleck!"

(Rep for reference.)




From Lethal Weapon 2-I love those movies
I got it first bitch.
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Old 03-19-2004, 02:43 PM   #18
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Rob Feinstein makes his WWE referee debut.
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Old 03-19-2004, 02:48 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Vito 22


Rob Feinstein makes his WWE referee debut.
Oh... lol!
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Old 03-19-2004, 10:12 PM   #20
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Eddie : You gotta remember Rey! You put your right foot in..your right foot out..in..
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Old 03-19-2004, 10:14 PM   #21
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You ran out of Nachos..
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Old 03-19-2004, 10:18 PM   #22
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*NEW* WWF TITLE *NEW* From $1 No Reserve...
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Old 03-19-2004, 10:20 PM   #23
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Vince : no wait..I got it..We'll bring 'Taker back with an Alien gimmick..
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Old 03-19-2004, 10:21 PM   #24
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Paul : Excuse me, members of the public are not allowed backstage..
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Old 03-19-2004, 10:33 PM   #25
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Vince bows to the inevitable and books Taker's new theme as the one from the Phantom of the Opera..
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Old 03-19-2004, 10:34 PM   #26
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Lee Van Cleef makes his debut in the WWF
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Old 03-20-2004, 12:54 AM   #27
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Geez... would ya mind consolidating all of them into ONE reply? One caption per reply might be excusable if other people's replies are laced between, but that's just blatant spamming, and only Kane Knight is allowed to do that.
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Old 03-20-2004, 12:56 AM   #28
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Heyman was also shocked when John Wayne made his resurrective debut.
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Old 03-20-2004, 12:57 PM   #29
faust34
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Ha! cruiserweights being over and Vince giving them more air time, that's a good one
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Old 03-20-2004, 01:06 PM   #30
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Faarooq doesn't take Paul's suggestion to have corrective surgery for saggy man boobs well
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Old 03-20-2004, 01:13 PM   #31
Blue Demon
WOOOOOOOOO!
 
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Got your hand!!
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Old 03-20-2004, 08:01 PM   #32
Penner
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John just had to stop Paul Heyman's spinaroonie attempt
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Old 03-20-2004, 03:28 PM   #33
Scarface
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Huh not too good. But I tried. Forgiveness Please.


Heyman "Stick em up, now tell me what you did to brock Lesnar to make him leave."
Farooq "We said that if he beat us at Poker, Bradshaw would give him some excellent stock tips."
Bradshaw *laughing hysterically*


Farooq "Hey, didn't you give me the same stock tips."
Bradshaw "..."


Taker "I look cool don't I Paul? Like all bad ass and undead at the same time."
Paul "Hey did you forget your whip?"
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Old 03-22-2004, 01:55 AM   #34
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No one likes my Bradshaw's stock advice captions... and I was proud of those too!
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