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Old 02-03-2009, 12:27 AM   #1
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Movie Reviews By The Parent TV Council
This has been my secret, guilty pleasure for a while now. Fucking nutjobs. The tab is up on the right if you wanna read more hilarious reviews on even tame movies.

The Incredible Hulk Review

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Old 02-03-2009, 12:30 AM   #2
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You call that a guilty pleasure?


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Old 02-03-2009, 12:35 AM   #3
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"KILLZONE 2 Shatters Expectations and Hype - Xbots Left Questioning Their Existence"

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLLOLOLOLOLOL

That is the greatest site ever! What the fuck, man!? I swear to God I laughed at the serious-as-fuck banner. Wow. This thread wins.
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Old 02-03-2009, 12:36 AM   #4
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“Without a doubt Killzone fans, action, and shooter fans of any stripe will instantly tag this sequel as a powerful contender for the best game of 2009″
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Old 02-03-2009, 12:45 AM   #5
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lol at the Eurotrip review. I was hoping something like Superbad or Knocked Up would be on there to read, but they weren't.

Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with society? They're probably asking the same thing, but this is insane. I think far too much concern is placed on violence/sex/language in movies. It's hardly to blame. Nothing more than a scapegoat and a leftover of puritan culture.
Now, I do think anything that appears in a movie should have some artistic merit. I feel this way due to quality though, not some self-righteous moral calling. I don't enjoy a movie solely on violence, like all the horror torture porn that comes out. It's awful. I'm not morally opposed to it though. It's whatever. I just think it should serve a story, and then the MPAA can reasonably rate things from there.

Parents have the right to raise their own children but this site is INSANE. Lol at some of these reviews. I feel bad for these people, especially their children. I really do. This is more unhealthy than any of these movies.
If you're going to loathe super-violence and keep your kids away from it, fine. If you're going to steer children away from Star Wars, Indiana Jones and Iron Man (and other comic movies)then DAMN! What assholes these people are.

They cite "heck" as language in Wall E, even though suggesting it for all audiences. They just had to point that out.
WHat makes me laugh is the sorry son of a bitch watching great movies and missing the point, because he's busy taking notes.
They make unreal stretches to point out "sexual" instances, like kissing. Behavior that is bad includes: burping, disrespect to an elder, and shit like that.

Pisses me off. Still pretty rofl.
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Old 02-03-2009, 12:50 AM   #6
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The bit where they point out Hulk "evading the law" with "cheats" is unreal.
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Old 02-03-2009, 12:50 AM   #7
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What's funny about this is they reccomend The Simpsons Movie to 14+, and give a 15+ to Batman Begins.
Classic.

I'd let my kid watch both, but The Simpsons movie is far more offensive to these types, than Batman Begins, which is easily a family film.
I guess a lot is over their head, which should be no suprise.
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Old 02-03-2009, 12:53 AM   #8
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PTC Summary:
Production Companies: ABC Television Studio in association with Brad Grey television
Producers: Jim Belushi, Warren Bell, Suzanne Bukinik, Marc Gurvitz, John D. Beck & Ron Hart, and Judd Pillot & John Peaslee.

According to Jim revolves around Jim (Jim Belushi), Cheryl (Courtney Thorne-Smith), their three children, and Cheryl’s siblings Dana (Kimberly Williams-Paisley) and Andy (Larry Joe Campbell). Jim is a simple family man who is a big softie underneath a macho exterior. He works as a contractor in a design firm with Andy and plays in a garage blues band. Cheryl is a stay-at-home mom who enjoys her job and loves her time alone with Jim. Most episodes of According to Jim focus on family life.

The show contains frequent references to sex. Past episodes have included Cheryl and Dana participating in a Tupperware-style party in which sex toys are sold; Jim’s teenaged appearance in a sex ed film; and boasting one-upsmanship about sexual conquests between Jim, Andy and their brother-in-law. Episodes consistently contain some harsh language like “crap”, “damn”, “hell”, and occasionally “ass”. There are sporadic instances of violence, usually playful, like Cheryl smacking Jim on the arm when he makes a silly comment.
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Old 02-03-2009, 12:55 AM   #9
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There are sporadic instances of violence, usually playful, like Cheryl smacking Jim on the arm when he makes a silly comment.
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Old 02-03-2009, 12:54 AM   #10
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The TV stuff is just as funny, if not their modus operandi (am I saying that right?). I wonder how they felt about the Superbowl/Porn thing.
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Old 02-03-2009, 12:54 AM   #11
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According to Jim gets a red light. I would give it a red light too, but for sucking the penis.
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Old 02-03-2009, 12:55 AM   #12
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lol
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Old 02-03-2009, 12:55 AM   #13
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YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT ON THE RED LIGHT!
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Old 02-03-2009, 12:58 AM   #14
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YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT ON THE RED LIGHT!
ROOOOOOOOXANNE
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Old 02-03-2009, 12:56 AM   #15
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Does this site list overall rank?
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Old 02-03-2009, 12:57 AM   #16
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According to Jim has the lowest possible overall rank.
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Old 02-03-2009, 12:57 AM   #17
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I guess so.
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Old 02-03-2009, 12:58 AM   #18
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You bastard.
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Old 02-03-2009, 12:58 AM   #19
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American Gladiators got the yellow light, because you should proceed with caution and/or put on your yellow headbands when HULKAMANIA'S RUNNING WILD ON YOUR KIDS BROTHER!
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Old 02-03-2009, 12:59 AM   #20
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YELLOW FOR FREEDOM BROTHER, YELLOW FOR JUSTICE
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Old 02-03-2009, 12:59 AM   #21
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And yellow for violence, I guess
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:00 AM   #22
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7th Heaven with the green light. Why even bother listing it? I'm pretty sure the guy who writes these reviews is head of creative over on SEEEEEEEEEEEEVENNTHHHH HEAVEN.
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:00 AM   #23
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Season Three of Alf has earned the PTC Seal of Approval.
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:01 AM   #24
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Quote:
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Season Three of Alf has earned the PTC Seal of Approval.
First one I read. It's also in the movie reviews, and not the TV shows. Do they know something we don't?
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:00 AM   #25
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Conversely, I think Se7en would get the red light. Just a hunch
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:00 AM   #26
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WALK THE STREETS FOR MONEY
YOU DON'T CARE IF IT'S WRONG
OR IF IT IS RIGHT



ROOOOOOXANNE
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:01 AM   #27
.44 Magdalene
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.44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
Season Three of Alf: The Movie
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:01 AM   #28
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I guess eating domestic cats isn't cause for concern in a world that brands "heck" and "kissing" as unacceptable behavior.
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:02 AM   #29
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Beverly Hills Chuhuahua has also earned that award, but in the violence category it lists "dogs chasing one another."
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:02 AM   #30
.44 Magdalene
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.44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SELL YOUR BODY TO THE NIGHT
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:03 AM   #31
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I wonder if they'd put on the red light for Jessica Biel's kaboose nowadays
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:04 AM   #32
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:06 AM   #33
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I was hoping you could buy a PTC t-shirt in the products section and get a bunch of people to go as Right To Censor members. No such luck.
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:06 AM   #34
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My parents won't let me watch Star Wars, Iron Man, Batman, Indiana Jones, or The Hulk. 7th Heaven sucks, so I'm going to torture pets.
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:07 AM   #35
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They seem to only offer products that reduce sex on tv, not real life.
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:07 AM   #36
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Red light for The Mentalist. I don't even think he saw that coming.
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:08 AM   #37
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Yellow light for America's Funniest Home Video. Reason listed: "Needs more Bob Saget."
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:10 AM   #38
.44 Magdalene
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.44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+).44 Magdalene puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
Quote:
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Yellow light for America's Funniest Home Video. Reason listed: "Needs more Bob Saget."


Give it a little while.
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:09 AM   #39
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I wonder what Dexter would get...
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:10 AM   #40
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The Biggest Loser is a yellow light. So maybe it's okay for your kids to watch fat people humiliated on network tv, but keep them away from that Lost show.
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