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Old 09-14-2005, 12:24 AM   #1
Kane Knight
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The Source of JBL's Power, The WWE apoligises, Shawn Michaels leaves the WWE...
...All here on the Ruse Report.

Anyone else miss ketchup packets? They made for interesting barbeques on Easter Sunday. But down to Business.

Reports are coming in that Vince McMahon accidentally caught a few minutes of this week's Raw. Upon awakening from a 22 hour coma, he was quoted as saying "I am so so sorry."

Rumour has it that Eminem has teamed up with MNM to form a faction. This foursome will be known by the obvious title of "Adrian's Revenge."

Congrats are in order to Adam Copeland. It seems his new wife, Shannon Moore, is pregnant.

Shawn Michaels will be leaving television for a while, as a dear friend has recently passed away. Lenny, Shawn's first toupé, died in his sleep on Sunday Night. our sumpathies are with the Michaels family in this dark hour.

Eddie Geurerro is a well-known method actor. Recently, he spent a night in jail after he jumped the border, stole a set of hubcaps, and got a job at Wal-Mart.

The source of JBL's push is revealed: He is Goa'uld. Richard Dean Anderson, star and producer of Stargate SG-1, has been hired to WWE creative. While this may seem like a bad move, it will all be worth it to hear him tell Orlando, "Buckwheat, kree!"

Smackdown's new ratings are not doing so well, but we prefer to think of it less as "poor ratings" and more "a good Velocity taping."

Hardcore Holly strikes again: The nefarious prankster switched King's "Bod" fragrance with pig urine. Old commentary had to be piped in, as JR was unable to stop "having relations" with poor Jerry. Rumour has it he also switched Ross' blood pressure pills with Viagra.

The next WWE: The music is set to be released on November 3rd, though many fan favorites will not be on the disc. Angle's theme will be the "Kazoo" mix as performed by Edge and Christian, Shelton's theme has been altered to say "ain't no pushing me now!" There appears to have been a production error, as Trish's giggling intro starts off Undertaker's theme. Also, expect a bonus track where Triple H sings an a capella version of his theme.

Feuds will now be decided by a game of spin the bottle. Unfortunately, you still have to KISS the guy.

“There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”

--John Rogers
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Old 09-14-2005, 12:26 AM   #2
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that sucked
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Old 09-14-2005, 12:27 AM   #3
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real bad
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Old 09-14-2005, 12:36 AM   #4
Kane Knight
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k
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Old 09-14-2005, 12:41 AM   #5
TerranRich
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kinglacoste, you should just go die now. Sound good? Great.

KK, that was hilarious. LMAO @ the "WWE The Music" news.
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Old 09-14-2005, 12:44 AM   #6
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whats up with you guys on his nuts? kane you must have super nuts to support all you're followers
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Old 09-14-2005, 12:46 AM   #7
FourFifty
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Go eat a goddamn pepper burger and stop being jealous because we all love God Kane Knight more than we love you your mom!




...i'm drunk...
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Old 09-14-2005, 12:48 AM   #8
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no you my friend are a fag
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Old 09-14-2005, 12:48 AM   #9
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ok.........a drunk fag
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Old 09-14-2005, 12:52 AM   #10
Kane Knight
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kinglacoste
whats up with you guys on his nuts? kane you must have super nuts to support all you're followers
Testicles the size of VW Beetles, baby!

Seriously, I appreciate your obssession with me, but this fantasy of people "on my nuts" is really getting tired.
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Old 09-14-2005, 12:53 AM   #11
loopydate
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That's a lotta nuts!
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Old 09-14-2005, 12:54 AM   #12
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i respect people dont get me wrong, but to go with everything they say is just gay.
vw beetles huh?
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Old 09-14-2005, 12:57 AM   #13
TerranRich
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kinglacoste, YOU'RE the one who replied to this thread first. And you're the one who is always the monkey on KK's back.

STOP SUCKING SO MUCH FUCKING COCK YOU FLAMING FAGGOT!!!!

Thank you.
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Old 09-14-2005, 12:57 AM   #14
Shadow
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Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
I hope I can give some rep to this
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Old 09-14-2005, 12:58 AM   #15
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Meh, for the most part, I couldn't laugh at most of it, but it wasn't poorly written.

For some reason, though, I really DID get a kick out of the Eddie Guerrero bit.
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Old 09-14-2005, 01:00 AM   #16
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if it sucked say it sucks. dont be a pussy
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Old 09-14-2005, 01:02 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kinglacoste
if it sucked say it sucks. dont be a pussy
If only this kid knew me...at all.
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Old 09-14-2005, 01:03 AM   #18
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what would you do? ask me to fuck you in the ass?
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Old 09-14-2005, 01:04 AM   #19
loopydate
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Having high school flashbacks. More specifically, a 5' freshman trying to be hard by picking on seniors. Didn't turn out so well for him, either.
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Old 09-14-2005, 01:05 AM   #20
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why isnt it turning out for me?
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Old 09-14-2005, 01:07 AM   #21
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You can read, right?
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Old 09-14-2005, 01:07 AM   #22
Kane Knight
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Depends. If you want to be laughed at by nerds and eThugs, you're turning out well.
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Old 09-14-2005, 01:08 AM   #23
Kane Knight
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepsi Man
Meh, for the most part, I couldn't laugh at most of it, but it wasn't poorly written.

For some reason, though, I really DID get a kick out of the Eddie Guerrero bit.
That's it. E-DRIVEBY!

Naw. Some of the lines were crap, and I know it. Plus, I doubt the Stargate joke would be that funny to mroe than ten people.
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Old 09-14-2005, 01:09 AM   #24
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too many e thugs in here
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Old 09-14-2005, 01:10 AM   #25
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i know i guy at work that watches stargate, im sorry
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Old 09-14-2005, 01:13 AM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kinglacoste
what would you do? ask me to fuck you in the ass?
Oh no, I've become just another kinglacoste accusation of homosexuality. I think I just might cry myself to sleep tonight.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kane Knight
That's it. E-DRIVEBY!

Naw. Some of the lines were crap, and I know it. Plus, I doubt the Stargate joke would be that funny to mroe than ten people.
The ketchup packet thing was pretty nifty, though.
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Old 09-14-2005, 01:30 AM   #27
Kane Knight
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepsi Man
The ketchup packet thing was pretty nifty, though.
I was gonna do them throughout the entire thing, like the Ross Report and JR's total lack of grasp on segueways and continuity.

However, I found it hard to come up with "Ross-isms." I really have to respect his ability to be so fucking random.
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Old 09-14-2005, 01:35 AM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kinglacoste
i know i fuck a guy at work that watches stargate, im sorry
Fixed. Cocklover.
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Old 09-14-2005, 01:57 AM   #29
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The war on humour has begun
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Old 09-14-2005, 02:24 AM   #30
Psycho C
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Sigh....I've come to expect this kind of stupidity. There's always a n00b who never grows up and just HAS to disrupt the natural order of things to get recognition. I've dealt with plenty before on other forums.
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Old 09-14-2005, 04:34 AM   #31
Impact!
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Impact! puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Impact! puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Impact! puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Impact! puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Impact! puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Impact! puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Impact! puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Impact! puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Impact! puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
lol nice KK
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