|
01-30-2006, 01:57 PM
|
#1 | ||||
|
FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
  
|
Royal Rumble Captions
Wow. One of the Big Four PPVs, and there are fewer pictures than for an average RAW.
                                                 
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
|
||||
|
|
|
01-30-2006, 02:30 PM
|
#2 |
|
Tag Team Wrestling Mark!
Posts: 2,340
|
Yes Rey. We're getting tired of the product too. John Cena. The first person on the other side of the infamous glass ceiling. Finally...conclusive evidence that if you smoke too much pot, you see some strange things.... ...and as if to back that up....SMOKING POT IS BAD FOR YOU...shit man...is that goldust? |
|
|
|
|
01-30-2006, 02:47 PM
|
#3 |
|
Fthagn?
Posts: 10,042
|
It's because we're black Loopy, because we're black...
Rey's Sabu impression didn't go over well with the fans. Chaos insued when Carlito lost his contact in the ring. The world stood silent, the moment was upon us. Lashley ate Show's cheeseburger. and there was no turning back. Hunter's daily routine of one-handed push-ups on the ring apron while being felt up by jobbers normally didn't make it on air. Neither did the oral sex part... Masters: "Fuck's sake, he's eating my fucking ankle!" Wait, when did female wrestlers be cleared to wrestle topless? Hunter didn't find the Geico joke all that amusing. Vince has Alzheimers? "If I had a nickel for everytime I didn't know where I was, I'd fire that guy." Or is he just senile? You be the judge. Orton was confused. If Vince was the next entree in the Rumble, how could Orton win? If he throws Vince over, he could be fired. The thinking, she burns... HA-DO-KEN Worst. Go Daddy Dance. Ever. HUG! The One-Man Taxi Service: Must be this tall to qualify. Rey has seen Hell, and he is scared. Where will you be when your diarhea acts up? Is it just me, or is the ref staring at Rey's ass? Cena closed his eyes and held his breath. He was always scared of the diving board, but he'd conquer his fears tonight. Always the sexual predator he is, Lita covered her breasts in fear as Cena stalked towards her. Maybe Cena's choice of insult- "Bite Me"- was a little ill-timed. "And IIIIIIIIIIII... IIIII, will always love YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Somewhere, God is crying. And I'm not far behind Him either... "This is a really soft door mat..." Angle didn't know what hurt worse- Henry's leather boots slicing his hands up, or giving birth to a full grown man right leg first. Kurt botches oral sex. By far the most tragic event of the night came when Henry's "Man Dance" turned to an assassination by chair. Masked. Kurt, this is NOT how the quarter trick works... Everytime Angle defeats a Mark Henry, an angle gets their wings. Angle: "To... Stephaine... Love your... What the fuck?!" Angle watched as the ring collapsed around him. He had to think of something fast to keep from taking the blame. Angle's face sunk in fear. That was Mae Young's theme playing... And she was heading his way. When the eyes of the Ranger are upon you... GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL The glass ceiling now came with a complimentary glass Big Wheels. "I'm an airplane!" Ashley: "Mickie, I don't want to alarm you, but I can see down your shirt." Flair had entered a new low- supergluing Ashley's foot to the ring? Damn. The match stopped when Trish tested her fellow diva's US History knowledge, asking who the 13th President was. Even though Mickie answered with "John Adams", it was stil closer than Ashley's answer of "False". FATALITY. Vince called for the emergency Releasing of Crusiers. Tony Jaa's WWE debut. He's a homo! Is that the guy from N'Sync?! She's beginning to wonder what she's done to deserve this. Ew. Fucking Ew. WWE Theater presents: JFK: The Musical |
|
|
|
|
01-30-2006, 02:55 PM
|
#4 |
|
Tag Team Wrestling Mark!
Posts: 2,340
|
The poster above is a homo! P.S Sorry Fryza |
|
|
|
|
01-30-2006, 03:05 PM
|
#5 |
Posts: 22,695
|
Super-queef, ACTIVATE! |
|
|
|
|
01-30-2006, 03:16 PM
|
#6 |
|
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
|
Vince: I smell something funky... Vince: Ooooohhh, it's the "Stink Butt Kid". Shawn: HEY!  Shane: WHICH WAY DID HE GO!? WHICH WAY DID HE GO!? Orton: Hmm, maybe I shouldn't have fed Shane that nuclear waste... Shane: SERIOUSLY! I'M BLIND! Cena: I've created the steel ceiling! It's just below the glass ceiling, but I now own anyone below me! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA! *Cena walks off the end* Vince: Sorry, we didn't finish it... *SCHLUP* Angle: ... I think my hand is stuck up your butt... Mark: Yup... *SCHLOOP* Angle: Now it's out. Mark: Yup... Chimmel: Here is your winner, and NEEWWW Cruiserweight Champion, TRIPLE H! Chimmel (Thinking): Hunter got a lot smaller since the last time I announced him as winner... |
|
|
|
|
01-30-2006, 03:19 PM
|
#7 |
|
Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
|
Ashley: Are you my mommy? Jamie Noble and Funaki came in last place for the Country Festival Wheelbarrow Race. Shawn wasn't impressed with Vince McMahon's macarina. Ref: Hunter, what are you doing? Hunter: My butt is hungry. |
|
|
|
|
01-30-2006, 04:09 PM
|
#8 |
|
King K Cool
Posts: 28,472
|
All those captions are gold.
 Anyway, here's mine. Rey: This is for you Eddie. Eddie: Shut up and wrestle the damn watch! (Sorry if that offended anyone) Vince: Hello. I'm your dad-dy. Shawn:  WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! The Rock and Big Show: HEY!  Cena asked a passer by to take his picture for him, since this was the first time he's ever been in San Francisco. Ouch. Oh my god! That talented ape is gonna win! Oh wait, it's just Mark Henry. *Triple H's music hits* Angle: Well, it was nice knowing ya Belty. We know the WWE Divas are bitches but they don't have to act like it. *To the tune of Catch The Pigeon* Catch the talent. Catch the talent. Catch the..... |
|
|
|
|
01-30-2006, 04:30 PM
|
#9 |
|
The Franchise
Posts: 7,368
|
*Crossing the glass ceiling* Cena: This is one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. |
|
|
|
|
01-30-2006, 04:47 PM
|
#10 |
|
The Franchise
Posts: 7,368
|
Boogeyman loved shooting the cum-swapping scene of the porno |
|
|
|
|
01-30-2006, 05:34 PM
|
#11 |
|
Soundly Defeated Wadding
Posts: 40,590
|
Being a veteran in the practice... Triple H over time, aquired the ability to not only hold everyone down but launch them into the sky at will without even looking at them. |
|
|
|
|
01-30-2006, 06:45 PM
|
#12 |
|
Paragraphs killed Jesus.
Posts: 203
|
Having completed the bank heist and got away in the car, the only thing left for Rey was a helicopter ride to the Caman Islands. RVD figured Carlito's hair was as good a place as any to hide in. Show: "Buddy." Lashley: "Son." Show: "Buddy." Lashley: "Bygod." Worst. Hurricanrana. Ever. Strong with the force is Eugene, but not that strong. Sure he had thrown Viscera over the top, but it was at this moment that Masters fully realised how Vis's landing would affect rapidly rising ocean tides in the Western Hemisphere. RVD's attempt to break through the glass ceiling hit another snag: what was the sticky substance on there, and who would've put it there in the first place? HHH:  The world watched in shock as Triple H was bullied, pushed over, and had his lunch money stolen by Mike Chiota. Halfway to the ring Vince realised that both his sanity and his pants were missing. HBK: "I know it's not the best, but leave the kid alone, he's trying!" Vince: "No, damnit! The Hokey-Pokey goes like this, I don't know what the hell Orton is trying to do!" Orton: "But this is my handle...aaaand and this is my spout..." Vince: "I don't care about you or your damn spout! If you don't get this dance right, I swear to God, I will only give you only ONE huge undeserved push this month!" Carlito: "What about my London Bridge? How cool was that?" Vince: "SHUT UP!" Shawn (thinking): "Is he not wearing pants?" Was it the apron smacking his forearm, or the invisible spike being shoved in Shawn's ass that was causing him to grimmace in pain? Find out next week... Shane: "Holy shit Dad, where are your pants!?" Orton (sobbing uncontrollably): "Tea kettle...tea kettle..." Mysterio returns from his helicopter to seek out the culprit who keeps stealing his push. The small pink aliens were determined that tonight was their night to begin world domination. First Orton's head, then THE WORLD! Winning the Rumble was easy, defeating the giant fire-breathing dragon behind him? That's another story. Mysterio's celebration was cut short by invisible Stevie and his Razor's Edge. Although exhausted, Mysterio finally conquered erectile disfunction. Cena couldn't believe it. After all the media attention, rap albums, mega-push and holding the title for 8 months, the fans who he failed to entertain any longer made him walk the plank. Edge: "No dude I swear! This time she's MY girlfriend!" Cena was horrified when the intergalactic portal below him opened... ...And began to suck him in. Form of...A DOUCHEBAG! Henry earns botch of the year status for his attempted top-rope springboard moonault. When the WWE and HBO's former hit TV series "Oz" come together, great television is bound to happen... Kurt had grown tired of the giant silverback gorilla that stalked him. Even God himself could not save Kurt Angle from this fate... Angle: "No mark, you have to turn over on your belly and I apply the hold the opposite way." Henry: "Oh, like this?" Angle: "No, you have to turn over. Turn over Mark!" Henry: "Oh......like this?" Angle: "For Christ's sakes, you didn't even move! Aw fuck it, this will be fine. At least after this I won't be put into another program with a big guy who moves slow and has little-to-no wrestling ability." Angle: "Nope....I was wrong..." Undertaker: "Aaaaaaand Jazz hands." Daivari watches in horror as London is hung upside down from the ankles from the glass ceiling as a warning to all cruiserweights who ask for a push. Was it the Boogeyman? Or was it merely Shang Tsung's cunning attempt to steal another soul? |
|
|
|
|
01-30-2006, 06:58 PM
|
#13 |
|
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
|
Eugene: Yo, Rob, hook me up with some more of those pills... Rob: NOT NOW NICK! Rey: I'm helping daddy! YYYAAAAAYYY! Rob: That was a good elimination, son. Now get the gun. Regal: SON OF A... JBL: Holy shit... I just realized that I'm going to job to the Boogeyman... I must SUCK! Narrator: This, oh, this is great! We've caught feeding time in the Boogeyman's lair! It's funny, they feed like birds... Mickie: The shin bone's connected to the head bone? Trish: YES! NOW SAW IT OFF! |
|
|
|
|
01-30-2006, 07:02 PM
|
#14 |
|
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
|
Hunter: OOooooooooooooooooooooo..... Vince: Shane: OOoooooooooooooooooooo.... Vince: Rey: Ooooooooooooooooo... Vince: Edge: OOOoooooooooo... Vince: Cena: Oooooooooooooooo.... Vince: Kurt: Ooooooo.... Mickie: STOP IT! JUST STOP IT! Vince:
|
|
|
|
|
01-30-2006, 07:58 PM
|
#15 |
|
Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
|
"Acoustic guitar playing in the background."
Ashley: (Narrating) Oh my God, I went over to this girl and she was like....... WEEEEEEE! That's so funny cause then I saw Rey Mysterio and he was like..... WEEEEEEE! Then I saw John Cena going over to Edge and Lita and he said.... "Yo Motha Fucka" WEEEEEE! Then Kurt Angle came over and he had a chair and he was like..... WEEEEEEEEEE! Then I went over to this guy at the movie theatre and he said "Yo I got popcorn" and I said "OH MY GOD......... WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! |
|
|
|
|
01-30-2006, 08:04 PM
|
#16 |
|
Skibbidy Lock Jaw
Posts: 88,611
|
Haven't read any so might repeat.
Winner takes all (cheeseburgers)! Eugene: Hey Rob... I'm all out of that stuff you gave me. Heat vision activated. Edge: Just pull up your pants and nobody gets hurt. MOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPY!!! Cena: I did it! I'm the champ!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- Man: Ok Mr. Cena, it's time for your random drug test. Cena:  Even the ring ropes know to bow in the presence of Kurt Angle. Mickie: Cooooome on Trish! It'll be fun! And then they revealed that Kane WAS burned all along. |
|
|
|
|
01-30-2006, 08:05 PM
|
#17 |
|
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
|
LOL at "WEEEE"!
|
|
|
|
|
01-31-2006, 02:26 AM
|
#18 |
|
R.I.P Tanner
Posts: 8,219
|
It's time to kick it Old school (caption_style)
INVISIBLE CRUCIFIX |
|
|
|
|
01-31-2006, 04:13 AM
|
#19 |
|
As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
|
Didn't read them for the past few weeks, don't hate if I stole a joke.
Rey: Sean!!!! This one is for you!!! Triple H: hmmm.. where was I... 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10... Wow, Vince must really belive in me. Bury 10 people at once... Oh yeah, this is the life. The Royal Rumble introduced a new kind of match this year... Loser pays for dinner, and lord knows The Big Show can't afford to lose this one. Triple H: Hey dudes, I need a beer. Just tell everyone I went under the bottom rope to get out, 'k? RVD: What do I get out of it? Triple H: A clean piss test. RVD: Deal! Carlito: wtf! Goldust? Now das cool! Goldust: *inhales deeply and fondels self* Carltio: Das not cool! MNM has learned the new meaing of the word "pwnd" Triple H: But I was only out to get a beer! I promised RVD a clean piss test so he wouldn't tell on me! Ref: And where are you going to get this piss test? Triple H: New Jersey tap water. Ref: So you lied to him? Triple H: You know that's not the point! Vince: Bringing Goldust back... What the hell was I thinking? FourFifty: *waves hand* You were thinking about how Goldust would boost ratings. Vince: I was thinking about how Goldust would boost ratings. FourFifty: These aren't the droids you're looking for. Vince: There aren't the droids I'm looking for. Orton still didn't understand it. He told the blonde he needed "Head and Shoulders" and she didn't know how to "give shoulders." Further proff that Lita taught Steven Richards how to do a powerbomb, and she taught HBK how to sell it. Vince's newest Idea- Movie Reviews. The first idea, "Brokeback Moutian" Rey: Well I jumped for Joy when I saw it! Randy: I don't give it thumbs up, or thumbs down. HHH: I'll take it in the ass. New from WWE films, "The Passion of the Mexican" Cena: Yo, inspeaking of that Brokeback movie, (insert gay joke here) Most of us knew Cena blew, but now Stevie Richanrds KNOWS how much. Kurt: I've heard of carrying a guy through a match, but this is too much! It's a damn shame that for the next few weeks Sexual Chocolate can't make any creme filling. And now, a real quote from Jim Ross. If you have the Eddie DVD, watch the Eddie VS RVD lader match for this one. JR: He better hope that chair is made of chocolate, because he just took a bite out of it! But little did JR know, if you ask Mark Henry chocolate and steel taste the same. At the point Kurt realized the belt still had Triple H's name plate on it. This picture only makes sense to Jeff Hardy, Shadow, and anyone else who is high. Raise the roof, BITCHES! FourFifty: *fap fap fap fap fap fap fap*  *fap fap fap fap fap fap* WHAT!?!?!??!?!?Who knew Stevie Richards could do a mid air Styles Clash? Ref: You're a homo! Helms: Hey, I only saw "Brokeback" because it has Oscar hype! To replace the lost mole, JBL now has a whore growing out of his chest. JR: Bah Gawd 619 by Big Vis! Didn't spell check it, just typed what I felt, like a true artist. |
|
|
|
|
01-31-2006, 04:23 AM
|
#20 | |
|
As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
|
Quote:
And the second one, no, it was 3 count  |
|
|
|
|
|
01-31-2006, 06:37 AM
|
#21 |
|
Ninja Mod, Esquire
Posts: 12,676
|
[
As Cena crosses the invisible bridge and neared the Holy Grail, the end of the worst remake in history neared it's end. But in a surprise ending that made the wrestling world rejoice, John Cena picked the wrong cup. Minutes later, Kurt Angle was executed on live TV. An hour later, a man was ripped to death by rabid wrestling fans for screaming "BOOM! HEADSHOT!" Thankfully, much like Christ, Kurt Angle rose from the grave. Unlike Christ, Kurt Angle was pretty badass. Most anti-climatic apocolypse ever. The neo age messiah quickly stopped Death's plot by employing a Swat Team. Later, said swat team was annihilated by a rabid shaved monkey. Someone's been watching the Japanese puke porn off of Stileproject. |
|
|
|
|
01-31-2006, 08:50 AM
|
#22 |
|
A Proud MF'R
Posts: 1,429
|
Rey: Hey it's Sting...No dammit it's just O'Haire with face paint Worst...Orgy....EVER Worst...Plancha...EVER Ref: Hey guess what....Cena's gonna win the belt back tonight Rey: I'm king of the world In a shocking heel turn Kurt Angle hit's Grape Ape with a steel chair Kurt: (Thinking) Maybe this is what i should have done to Cena when he said i could'nt see him Undertaker: I've got spirit fingers (Rep for whoever knows the movie) King: Panties Joey Panties......OH MY GOD Joey: Hey thats my line bitch Ashley: Bark Mickie: Meow Ashley: Bark Mickie: Meow This went on until animal control showed up Mickie's audition for American Idol did'nt impress Trish but let's see what the judges say Randy Jackson: Oh dawg that was not good dawg Paula Abdul: Oh sweetheart you should'nt be here Simon Cowell: You're a hot girl but you cant sing and personally i think you're psycho Further proof that Simon Cowell is always right Jamie Noble decides to use an old move originated by The Nasty Boys...PITTY CITY Helms: Hey look i won a title that does'nt mean a damn thing You know this is really sick...Oh wait this just in Tim White tried to kill himself again but it still did'nt work |
|
|
|
|
01-31-2006, 04:32 PM
|
#23 |
|
Bent his wookie
Posts: 1,420
|
Triple H: Holy Shit, Rey IS REALLY winning this rumble? I thought we were all just joking around and.....Austin, hold the door open buddy, im right behind ya |
|
|
|
|
01-31-2006, 05:09 PM
|
#24 | |
|
All Part Of The Plan
Posts: 12,125
|
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
01-31-2006, 06:05 PM
|
#25 |
|
All Part Of The Plan
Posts: 12,125
|
Haven't done any captions in years...might suck...who knows *shrug*
All day Rey was sure he'd seen a helicopter following him around (slight movie reference there) Things were going pretty good for RVD until he tripped over Carlito's hair Big Show was too afraid to tell Lashley his giant twin brother was looking at him WWE would go to ridiculous lengths to make sure HHH didn't suffer another groin injury Scientific proof that Rey Mysterio's head is smaller than HHH's knee Vis was willing to experiment with anything to improve his love life "Dudes, check this out, I haven't washed my feet since I got injured!" It fell to the referee to tell HHH that, despite his protests, he would never be a member of the Four Horsemen "Ok people my wife isn't talking to me, my daughter's tits need another operation, and I'm pretty sure my son is having an affair with a rent boy. NOT in a good mood right now." HBK: "Rent boy? "Vince: "Son of a bitch!" "Yeah that's right, a rent boy! I don't need your old ass anymore, get out of my ring!" "Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane! ""...and he does things you could *never* do, you should see the way he can bend..." Orton: " "Rey didn't have the heart to tell Randy it wasn't his birthday "And just cause it's your birthday, we gathered up all your family for a big celebration! Lookee!" "Give your dear old Granny a kiss" "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!" When he saw Rey giving out kisses, Nick was quick to pucker up Cena's Black Scorpion impression needed some work "Hey guys, have I got anything caught in my teeth?" "Uhhhh no, no. Looking good  "Always that spot round the back where your tongue *just* can't reach "Ahhhh yeah I can see it, it's right at the back there. Lemme get some floss" YOUR dental hygiene champion "Stay in school kids. Dental school  "Unfortunately for Kurt, Mark Henry hadn't quite grasped the intricacies of "ok loosen your boot like Eddie did at WM 20" "Fucking...thing...come...off!" At that moment, Kurt knew he had blown it. He had forgotten the lighter. "Does this chair look slightly damaged to you?" "Damn, that is one messed up chair" "Messed up like YOUR FACE!" While the ref attempted to cover the shame of having a starfish pattern in his hair, Kurt tried some precision chair moulding When you're the World's Strongest Man, you'd think you could get rid of cramp by yourself "AAAAAAAAADRIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" The sole photographer dared to move in closer to observe the specimen, Olympicus Herous, in its natural habitat For daring to venture too close, the photographer is unfortunately vaporised These creatures are extremely territorial and should be approached with caution "Can we interest you in Jesus?" "TREMBLE YE SINNERS FOR THE DAY OF JUDGMENT IS AT....uh....line?" "You know at first I was skeptical, but look...yogic flying works!" The game of charades was going well "Oh come on, easy, that's Airplane" "Fuck" "Reservoir Dogs" "Dammit" "Passion of the Christ" "Oh come ON" Trish advised it probably wasn't a good idea to attempt Brokeback Mountain The call came in on Mickey's earpiece - the CIA needed her to go undercover at the Playboy Mansion. Jealousy ensued. There were easier ways to find out what someone thought of your new anti-persperant Paul's trick of balancing on the turnbuckle with his head drew rave reviews Kid Kash's air violin and London's breakdancing tragically could never co-exist Gregory Helms - Crotch-Stomper |
|
|
|
|
01-31-2006, 06:05 PM
|
#26 |
|
All Part Of The Plan
Posts: 12,125
|
"Nobody's crotch is safe from Gregory Helms. Except maybe Shane's, damn that is a mess down there." Everyone was in shock at there being someone even less talented and deserving than JBL "Do I have something in my teeth?" "Ah crap I do, don't I? Can you just help me get it out a minute? Jeez stop screaming already..." "DENTAL HYGIEEEEEEEEEENE!" |
|
|
|
|
01-31-2006, 08:52 PM
|
#27 |
|
Save_Us.sandwich
Posts: 1,749
|
Rey: Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Grrrrr.... ...RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH..... ...RRRRAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! John Cena - WWE Champion, or Deliverance Hillbilly Wannabe? You make the call. Cena: & see, this growth just showed up a week or two ago, & I have no idea what it is or where it came from! Edge: *whispers* You didn't sleep with him, did you? Lita: John Cena channels the spirit of WWE "Legend" Jean-Pierre LaFeitte. Orton: Hey, Looky, Hunter! I'm Scott Hall! Hunter: Sure, she looked all hot & sexy with her panty flash now. But in about 3 seconds, when she finishes doing her impression of Sid at WCW Sin, you're gonna change your tune. Why didn't anybody TELL me they were remaking "Clan of the Cave Bear"? Ashley: Ok, now who am I? Mickie: Chris Masters jumping out of an airplane! Ashley: Damn, you're good! Mickey: This how you do it? Chris Jericho in drag: No, no, no, grab both legs, then turn her over! "Damn that Cena, AH'M tha only deliverance hillbilleh in these here parts!" That Boogeyman sure loves his Arby's Curly Fries. Hey, watch this! I learned it from that kid in Big Daddy! "Sloth Love Chunk!!!" |
|
|
|
|
01-31-2006, 09:59 PM
|
#28 |
|
FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
|
REY: Hey, is that an anvil? Even though it made no sense whatsoever, the crowd absolutely lost it when RVD took out Nick Patrick with a tope. Bobby Lashley, last of the WWE Juniors. RVD: Dude, we are so fired. REY: Yeah, but it's totally worth it. We all expected Nick Dinsmore to come back with a new gimmick, sure. But as a faith healer? HHH: Hey, wait, is that Mabel? MNM and Road Warrior Animal learned the hard way that during his time away, RVD had grown a third leg. HHH: The baby's black? VINCE [thinking]: Hmm, coming down to the ring during the Rumble. This seems familiar somehow... Why do my legs hurt? VINCE: GESUNDHEIT, DAMMIT! Sadly, Shane wasn't very good at "Catch Shawn As He Falls From The Rafters." They were talented, but Randy and Shane couldn't help but think that their barbershop quartet was missing something. The Invisible Crucifix was one thing, but Triple H went too far when he created the Invisible Gallows. MARK COPANI: Wait, how come they can do that? The look on Rey's face says it all. Of all the times for the Butterfly Effect to kick in... Rey, Rey, Rey of the Invisible Hanglider, much smaller than most! Watch out for that post! Watch out for that [Tarzan yell] pooooooooooooooost! Nick Patrick, inaugural member of the Rey Mysterio Kiss My Ass Club. HEYMAN: Yeah, that's great Vince, but the beauty of the ECW elevated ramp was that it was the same height as the ring. That's why my guys didn't keep...uh...dying. CENA: Yo, either a you seen my eyeball? LET ME SHOW YA SOMETHIN'! CENA: Suppose you're refillin' your fish tank. [Hums] And then someone says "Hey, look over there, it's Marissa Tomei urinating on Jim Morrison's grave!" EDGE: Help... me... CENA: THE CHAMP IS H-- Hey, where's everybody going? And Cena wonders why he can't keep his pants up. A clip from the upcoming Saw 3. JIGSAW: Kurt, I'm too tired to come up with some horrible, grotesque way of punishing you. So I'm just going to have a fat guy stand on you for a while. It may not have been what he got into wrestling for, but at least he had a purpose. If you can consider popping hosses' dislocated kneecaps back into socket a "purpose." KURT: Ow. Owie ow... Oh, fuck, that hurts. MARK: What happened? KURT: My thumb... is... stuck... KURT: No, I hit you, then you sell it! KURT: Better. Mark? MARK: ... KURT: Vince is going to kill me. The fact that Mark Henry needed two people to help him complete a somersault still didn't deter Vince from pushing him to the moon. Can you find the hidden smiley face? Somewhere, Tom Welling and Maggie Grace gasped. "Here we go again!" When he heard that there had been an Arab at ringside, GWB ordered an immediate napalm strike. According to a Fox News report, there were no civilian casualties. The Grand Wizard was pissed. How come that [The rest of this caption has been censored as an act of good taste. Rest assured it had something to do with the KKK and Mark Henry's title shot. We now resume the Royal Rumble Captions already in progress...] UDNERTAKER: BOOGIE BOOGIE BOOGIE! MICKIE: She theeks I'b cuuuuuuuuuuuuute! Once again, Stevie Richards' interference is thwarted. Somewhere, Harpo Marx is rolling over in his grave. Ashley's mid-air Hogan impression was always a big hit. MICKIE: What? Nobody told me groping was illegal! ASHLEY: [Gasp] I'll allow it! TRISH: Hey, I'm the referee here. MICKIE: Oh, my God, hi! Yeah, you too! Listen, this like isn't a good time for me, so can I call you back? NOBLE: STOP BITING! CRUISERS: Ooooooooh! The Claw! Paul has been chosen! Ouch. No, not the spin kick. I've never seen a testicle spontaneously combust. HELMS: I'm a what? HELMS: And remember, kids, when you're lobbying for a push, a little teeth can go a long way. After Boogeyman's wardrobe malfunction, JBL learned that the "myth" about black men is, in fact, true. JILLIAN: Uh, I think there's something wrong with your tongue. JILLIAN: No, I don't know what "snowball" means. Why do you ask? Mola Ram wins. Fatality. |
|
|
|
|
01-31-2006, 11:58 PM
|
#29 |
|
Ron Paul 4 EVA
Posts: 152,467
|
Rey Mysterio joins the Nation of Domination When they found out Brock was returning, they pitched in to remove all internet references. Show: I like your Hodowns Lashley: I like what you do buffets "I found a ticklish spot!" "High five!" "Eugene! No!" Masters: *zap* It really *zap* is *zap* electric. Mercury: Forgot the glue? Nitro: Yup. "God, is that you?" Vince tried to explain the Christian parables in Narnia, but Shawn didn't get it. Even Shane was mortified by his mother's interpretation of "Othello." Randy: Nuh Uh! That's not how you do a Flash Kick! Mark Henry and Rey Mysterio switched brains, a transition which made Mark hungry. "It really does taste like chicken!" "I'm King of the little people...I mean...World!" Bushwacker Mysterio. Having drawn poorly of late, it was John's punishment to clean O'Haire's cage. Cena: You're looking awful purdddy... Edge: Please be talking about Lita... Cena: Hells no! Unwilling to lose clean, Edge used his psychic powers to melt Cena's face. I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of internet fans suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. Since his gay rapper gimmick failed horribly, WWE management decided to turn Cena into a midget. You can see John here, carrying Triple H's championship ring. Ironically, what Mark Henry is doing to the camera is basically what WWE is doing to us. "I'll teach you to munch on my foot!" Even when fellating a big black guy, Angle has the class to tickle his ass. Here we see an example of time-space distortion as Angle approaches Mark Henry's event horizon. Nitro: Found it. Henry: When I'm on top, I last longer than a three count. Angle: When you're on top, I'm no longer three dimensional. Jesus walks among us. "You found which video?" "Ahm gonna lynch sum neeggers. "Peace be with you!" "Are you sure you lost your contact in the ring?" "What do you mean, 'that's not how babies are made?' " George Bush...Cruiserweigth contender. The entire CW division sunk. How can you compete with Spider-Man? "Pssst...He's a homo!" "Who farted?" Well, you can't have Spider-Man without Venom. Seconds later, Indiana Jones would run in to set up Jones/Mola Ram at Wrestlemania. |
|
|
|
|
02-01-2006, 01:10 AM
|
#30 |
Posts: 18,357
|
Haven't seen others. Sorry for any copycats.
Rey continues his spiritual ways when he dedicates his entire Royal Rumble match to Sean O'Haire. 'Just great,' Carlito thought. 'Out of all the people in the damn ring, I'm the one who finds the ring spot Rhino worked on...' Lashley wasn't sure how he'd snare this one. This would prove to be his greatest challenge yet... You know HHH is starting to lose it when he tries to throw a guy over the top rope and ends up "Goldberging" himself on the corner post. REY, EUGENE, & RVD: "How do you like being under the glass ceiling now, BITCH!!!" No one was quite sure why Masters decided to bring his novelty giant raisin to the ring. "Potheads don't just fall out of the sky, ya know..." "What?! PREGNANT????" Even Vince found that story about Steph getting jungle fever to be mildly disturbing... VINCE: "Gimme my money man!!! Where's my money, huh? You stiffing me, man! I don't like it! Gimme my money!" SHANE: "Where's your god now???" That Shane, even able to take the time to walk his invisible dog. Backstage, Vince scratched his head. This wasn't exactly the order he'd pictured his stars elevated. Orton was sent to carry the Rey Rey Bot backstage after it malfunctioned following its 495,828th match dediction to Eddie. Try as he might, Rey just couldn't land that part in King Kong. "Ooooh, a peso!" If Cena on strings didn't prove he was merely a wooden puppet, nothing would! LITA: "No! I must cover my nakedness!!!" CENA: "Erm... you're wearing a top." LITA: "Oh." EDGE: (thinking) 'Awesome, now no one will notice my awful hair day!" Cena's STF may be shoddy, but his Banshee Scream resulted in immediate submission. See above. Cena may have won the belt, but he was unprepared for his next challenger: The 500 MPH Super Air Blowing Fan. Why in the world the photographer only wanted to photograph Henry's butt I'll never know. "Shoes! Shoes! I must have your chocolate shoes!!!" It was a sad day for the wrestling community when Mark Henry managed to make Kurt Angle his bitch. KURT: "LOOK AT THIS CHAIR!!! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!! SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY TO SIT ON A CHAIR???" MARK: "Boohoo hooo!!! I'm sorry!! I don't wanna see how me bent da chair!!!" "LOOK AT IT!!!!!!!" Not just a tremendous grappler, Kurt Angle was also a world class stretching trainer. For all the wrestling fans who needed physical proof Angle was god... Kurt couldn't believe Mark had tried to sit down again. TAKER: "I'm on a cheap aluminum chariot being pulled by a white horse. If this doesn't convince them I'm trailer trash, then nothing ever will." Taker's rendition of the YMCA was a huge hit with the fans. Mickie's version of the Harry Potter flying leap resulted in the climax of voyeurs everywhere. Mickie loved playing airplane with Ashley! ...not to mention underground boring machine. STEPH: Heh heh heh... and you thought they only made crucifixes for guys... TRISH: "Are you SURE you're just helping her stretch?" MICKIE: "Okay, you got me. We were gonna have lesbian sex." CROWD:  Mickie's celebration was overshadowed by Trish wearing the hottest ref outfit ever. On days when Jamie didn't use Right Guard, this move was particularly devastating. "LASSSSHHHHLEEEEEEYY!!!!!" The starry porn censor was a little off the mark. HELMS: "I may be a homo, but at least I'm a champion homo!!!!" But then came the new champion congratulatory Steven Richards enema. This re-enactment of King Kong was particularly emotional. With the wizards at WETA, Kong could even be made to be a worm monster!!!! Marty Wright does his best Kobe Bryant impersonation... |
|
|
|
|
02-01-2006, 01:37 AM
|
#31 |
|
Posts: 18,357
|
LOL's
IMPECCABLE:
Finally...conclusive evidence that if you smoke too much pot, you see some strange things.... FRYZA: Chaos insued when Carlito lost his contact in the ring. HA-DO-KEN GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL The match stopped when Trish tested her fellow diva's US History knowledge, asking who the 13th President was. Even though Mickie answered with "John Adams", it was stil closer than Ashley's answer of "False". FATALITY. WWE Theater presents: JFK: The Musical PORKSODA: Ashley: Are you my mommy? YASHAMAGA: *Crossing the glass ceiling* Cena: This is one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. Boogeyman loved shooting the cum-swapping scene of the porno GOOD OL JG: Strong with the force is Eugene, but not that strong. Sure he had thrown Viscera over the top, but it was at this moment that Masters fully realised how Vis's landing would affect rapidly rising ocean tides in the Western Hemisphere. Halfway to the ring Vince realised that both his sanity and his pants were missing. Winning the Rumble was easy, defeating the giant fire-breathing dragon behind him? That's another story. Although exhausted, Mysterio finally conquered erectile disfunction. Cena couldn't believe it. After all the media attention, rap albums, mega-push and holding the title for 8 months, the fans who he failed to entertain any longer made him walk the plank. Edge: "No dude I swear! This time she's MY girlfriend!" Henry earns botch of the year status for his attempted top-rope springboard moonault. Undertaker: "Aaaaaaand Jazz hands." XERO LIMIT 126: Rey: I'm helping daddy! YYYAAAAAYYY! Rob: That was a good elimination, son. Now get the gun. LOCK JAW: Even the ring ropes know to bow in the presence of Kurt Angle. FOURFIFTY: Further proff that Lita taught Steven Richards how to do a powerbomb, and she taught HBK how to sell it. New from WWE films, "The Passion of the Mexican" To replace the lost mole, JBL now has a whore growing out of his chest. ROADWARRIORSLOD: Ashley: Bark Mickie: Meow Ashley: Bark Mickie: Meow This went on until animal control showed up MR. MONDAY MORNING: Things were going pretty good for RVD until he tripped over Carlito's hair At that moment, Kurt knew he had blown it. He had forgotten the lighter. "Can we interest you in Jesus?" The call came in on Mickey's earpiece - the CIA needed her to go undercover at the Playboy Mansion. Jealousy ensued. LOOPYDATE: REY: Hey, is that an anvil? Bobby Lashley, last of the WWE Juniors. RVD: Dude, we are so fired. REY: Yeah, but it's totally worth it. We all expected Nick Dinsmore to come back with a new gimmick, sure. But as a faith healer? HEYMAN: Yeah, that's great Vince, but the beauty of the ECW elevated ramp was that it was the same height as the ring. That's why my guys didn't keep...uh...dying. A clip from the upcoming Saw 3. JIGSAW: Kurt, I'm too tired to come up with some horrible, grotesque way of punishing you. So I'm just going to have a fat guy stand on you for a while. MICKIE: What? Nobody told me groping was illegal! ASHLEY: [Gasp] I'll allow it! TRISH: Hey, I'm the referee here. MICKIE: Oh, my God, hi! Yeah, you too! Listen, this like isn't a good time for me, so can I call you back? KANE KNIGHT: When they found out Brock was returning, they pitched in to remove all internet references. Show: I like your Hodowns Lashley: I like what you do buffets I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of internet fans suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. Even when fellating a big black guy, Angle has the class to tickle his ass. Here we see an example of time-space distortion as Angle approaches Mark Henry's event horizon. "Ahm gonna lynch sum neeggers. "What do you mean, 'that's not how babies are made?' " |
|
|
|
|
02-01-2006, 01:39 AM
|
#32 |
|
Posts: 18,357
|
EDGE: "Hey! Hey! Check it out! This is me in an '80s moment! "
|
|
|
|
|
02-02-2006, 04:49 AM
|
#33 |
|
Posts: 12
|
RVD- go back home Satian
HHH- Ahh whats haperning the Meximidget is taller than me Eugene- Stroke the hair, stroke the hair Mcmahon in the back- Stroke? Not Jerratt agian |
|
|
|
|
02-02-2006, 04:52 AM
|
#34 |
|
Posts: 12
|
Orton- Have you sat in something
Shane- No I upset Dad earlier Orton- Stop prancing round then its driping all over the ring OR Orton gets bored with the rumble and imagines flair naked |
|
|
|
|
02-02-2006, 05:26 AM
|
#35 |
|
Posts: 18,357
|
Um... you could just quote the original post instead of attaching the file...
|
|
|
|
|
02-02-2006, 08:15 AM
|
#36 |
|
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
|
Or copy the source and use the img tag...
|
|
|
|
|
02-03-2006, 08:57 AM
|
#37 |
|
Posts: 12
|
Sorry new 2 the forums I ll try doing it the way you suggest
|
|
|
|
|
02-03-2006, 09:55 PM
|
#38 |
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
Didn't read any captions, so, sorry if I repeat anything.
It's a bird! It's a plane! It's... a homo. Vince: "Three cards are in a hat. One is red on both sides, one is white on both sides, and one is red on one side and white on the other. I draw a card from the hat, and drop it on the table. The upward-facing side is red. What are the odds that the downward-facing side is also red?" Shawn: 
|
|
|
Linear Mode
