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03-15-2004, 09:06 AM
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#1 | |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,131
  
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WMXX (new) Captions
               
 Grand Champ of the Arcade: 6/26/15 - 4/09/20 4/14/20 - Present Quote:
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03-15-2004, 12:37 PM
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#2 |
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Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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Cena found a new necklace, that was bigger and more gaudy than any chain or pendant he could ever find. Too bad it wasn't platinum. (Backstage before the match) RVD: Just try it Book... Would Rob, Van, Dam, steer you wrong? Booker T: I guess not sucka. (15 minutes later) Booker: Yo, RVD man, what is this shit we just smoked... I'm hallucinatin'... I feel like we just won titles at Wrestlemania. RVD: This is the greatest thing on the planet... My personal homegrown laced with Evolution Kool-Aid, dude... And just then, the referee did the most enthusiastic, powerful, "you're a homo" fingerpoint in history. Christian: Jericho, chill man! This isn't real! Jericho: No fair! WAHHHHH! I'm TELLING! Trish: *Laughing* Jericho: What's so funny you little backstabber!? Trish: Chris, this is all staged! Christian just showed me this was all acting and everything has been on camera the whole time! Jericho: ...And your feelings for me? Trish: Erm... Jericho:  Foley: Rock, I'm getting pinned, beam me up! Rock: Damn, The Rock missed! Ref: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Man was the ref pissed. Torrie went and got the match changed without everyone's consent, costing the ref about three good looks at her nipples. ELBOW DROP! Here is your winner, and NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWE Cruiserweight Champion, Shannon, Moore! After Rey put the ring to sleep by rapping, Chavo took advantage. Rey: I run around in a paranoid stupa', trying to find the guy who took my chalupa. Chavo: Rey, what the hell are you talking about? Rey: I gotta figure out how many tacos to order, to move ahead I gotta run for the border. Chavo: ...Save me daddy... Goldberg: Sorry Brock, I gotta do it! Brock: ? Goldberg: I will be the only NFL player in history not to be buried in the WWE, hahahaha! Basham: Sit on my face and tell me lies... Rikishi: *Sits on his face* I only weigh 150 pounds. *Farts* Ref: *Gets blasted back* or Rikishi unleases his new finisher, the powerbum. After the US Marines and MP's showed up to collect their AWOL soldier, Vince could not afford to lose Orton at such a key moment. So it was up to Molly to take one for the team. Eddie: Harder! Don't be a pussy! Angle: *TWIST* Eddie: ARGH! HARDER YOU LITTLE GIRL! Angle: Now THAT does it! *TWISTWISTWISTWIST!* Eddie: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! KEEP GOING! Angle: I'm trying Eddie, but these damn shoes won't come off! Eddie: That puta Rhyno! Since there was no way to kick out of the tombstone, Kane gave the 'Taker a 'zerbet' in an attempt to make him giggle out of the pin. Benoit: TAP OUT TRIPLE H! Triple H: NEVER! Why in the HELL would I job the gold to you cleanly at Mania and sell that weak move!? I AM THE GAME! Benoit: Look Triple H. A spider on the mat right under your right hand! Triple H: OMG KILL IT! KILL IT! I AM AFRAID OF SPIDERS! (Pounding the mat profusely) Benoit: Sucker... Chavo was too sore to accept his invitation to the Showcase of the Immigrants. |
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03-15-2004, 12:56 PM
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#3 |
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Posts: 4,834
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Booker: Well, its not the World Heavyweight Championship . . . ----------------------------------------------RVD: Shut up, at least you were on the card at last years Wrestle Mania! |
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03-15-2004, 01:00 PM
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#4 |
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Posts: 4,834
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Jericho: First Triple H, then Shawn Michaels... NOW Christian?!
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03-15-2004, 01:08 PM
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#5 |
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Bo Knows
Posts: 2,786
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Molly Holly gets prepared for he new gimmik of G.I. Badonkadonk. |
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03-15-2004, 02:55 PM
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#6 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Okay, this is WrestleMania, and I really don’t know if I could bring myself to doing captions.
Seriously, this is a place where men become legends and legends become immortal. Only the top talent is placed on this card. This PPV is all about class, elegance, and tradition. I remember years ago when the tag line for RAW was “Anything can happen on Monday Night Raw.” When it came to WrestleMania, everything did happen. The matches are unpredictable… I don’t think I can bring myself to doing captions for this. …lemme try this again…. Okay, this is WrestleMania, and I really don’t know if I could bring myself to doing captions. Seriously, this is a place where men become legends and legends become immortal. Take Three! Okay, this is WrestleMania, and I really don’t know if I could bring myself to doing captions. Seriously, this is a place where men become legends and legends become immortal. allow me to rephrase this…. Okay, this is WrestleMania, and I really don’t know if I could bring myself to doing captions. Seriously, this is a place where men become legends and legends become immortal. Damn it! Okay, lemme do this again! Okay, this is WrestleMania, and I really don’t know if I could bring myself to doing captions. Seriously, Hmph! Gotta edit some more! Okay, this is WrestleMania, and I really don’t know if I could bring myself to doing captions. Seriously, Fuck it… Okay, this is WrestleMania, and I really Seriously, |
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03-15-2004, 03:38 PM
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#7 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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A four hour PPV with only 16 pics? WHASSUPWIT DAT!?!?!?
Cena was a little embarrassed. You would be too if you had to wear a secondary WCW title when you lost your lock and chain. Booker T: That sign doesn’t say that… Tell me that sign doesn’t say that! RVD: Sunday Night Heat…. Tim White: I can’t believe what I’m seeing… Xtian over Jericho… Jericho: That’s the last time I take the last peppermint patty from Vince’s candy dish. Victoria knew her classic “Shoot this man in the ass” shtick was past its prime when Xtian botched it on Trish. Ref: Sorry Mick, I haven’t found your lost credibility. Mick: Aw shucks! In this match, the winner is the ref! The losers are everyone who thought this match had potential. Sable: Yeah fans! Look at us! We’re half naked! Torrie: Yeah! We’re taking away air time from Sean O’Haire. Sean: You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know  Chavo and Chavo Sr are Rhyno’s newest victims at WMXX. Goldberg: I told you that you’re next! Brock: Yeah, but at least the fans respect me… Fan #1: TINKY WINKY IS GAY! Fan #2: I SURF THE INERNET!!! Fan #3: GAY TINKY WINKY SURFS THE INTERNET!!! Goldberg: Respect? Brock:…..shutup…… Nick Patrick: Come on Seven! Let’s go Lucky number Seven! Rikishi: Do you NEED to play craps in this match? Nick Patrick: Do you NEED to be crap in this match? It’s wasn’t the fact that she had Victoria shaving her head that made Molly Holly worried. It was the fact that she had the plague on her shoulder. Nick: I hope Earl is watching this match! No tapping, no bell! And this is the last time Kane insults Avril Lavigne in front of The Undertaker. And then Chris Beniot reveals his secret weapon… Beniot: Hey Earl! Triple H is Canadian! Earl: What?!?!?!?!?! *calls for the bell* Eddie: So tell me Chris, does your belt talk? Beltor: SHUT UP YOU GOD DAMNED WANNA BE CHAMPION!!! YOU’RE THE CHAMPION OF THE B-TEAM!!!!! RAW IS BETTER THAN SMACKDOWN AND ATOP THAT YOU’RE GETTING GOLDBERG WHILE WE’RE GETTING EDGE!!!! YOU STUPID GOD DAMNED WANNA BE CHAMP!!!! Eddie: So that’s a yes….. Now Beniot was just pissed. Just because Hardcore Holly announced his retirment when Triple H tapped does not mean they have to throw a party to overshadow Beniot's victory. |
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03-15-2004, 04:13 PM
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#8 |
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VG + Q&A FORUM REPRESENT
Posts: 38,940
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John Cena get's very confused when he can't read his own name tag. Ref: "Where's my belt?" All: "Arrgh glue" Christian: "Pimping aint easy" Randy Orton: "This is your new god, Mick Foley's ass" Ref: "We're not worthy" Ref: "Just cos I've got less muscles, it doesn't make me less of a man" Torrie and Sable "Yesssss, we've got Wonderbra contracts!!!!" Vietnam was hell on everyone but in the god awful bloody mess, wrestling comrades still helped each other out when they got injured. Goldberg: "This is for stealing my thunder" Rikishi gets embarrased when he breaks his space hopper at the greatest showcase of them all, Wrestlemania. An apple a day makes your hair go away The wheel barrow race takes a turn for a worse when Angle turns heel mid race Undertaker: "Rest in my piece" Benoit: "Just gimme the damn belt" HHH: "Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" Benoit: "Piss off Eddie, I'm not sharing this belt with you" Benoit: "Noooo not pink, I hate pink. You've ruined my special moment. Boo hoo" |
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03-15-2004, 04:49 PM
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#9 |
Posts: 18,357
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What the heck? Only 16? There's like one pic per match or something. Last year there were like 50 pictures.
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03-15-2004, 04:59 PM
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#10 | |
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Posts: 4,668
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Quote:
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03-15-2004, 05:05 PM
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#11 |
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Pelvic Sorcerer
Posts: 64,762
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John Cena is relieved with his new US Title shaped flea collar, finally no more painful iching. Both RVD and Booker were both shocked. Booker was shocked that he just won a match at Wrestlemainia, RVD was shocked that appearently he just had a match and had mad munchies. While Christian may be heel, he is still nice enough to pick out Jericho's wedgie. |
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03-15-2004, 05:23 PM
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#12 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Ah screw it. Since they changed the pics, look for my captions in a new post.
Last edited by Corkscrewed; 03-16-2004 at 01:51 AM. Reason: They changed the pics so nothing makes sense. |
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03-15-2004, 05:25 PM
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#13 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Dammit, they just changed the pics on us again. Now the first one no longer has Cena w/ the belt around his neck. So...
Cena ordinarily might not but up to this big of a challenge, but with the T-1000 by his side, he knew he was unstoppable! |
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03-15-2004, 05:32 PM
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#14 |
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Mas Vagina Porfavor
Posts: 11,343
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The creation of the U.S. title was part of Vince's new "Dog Collar Policy" so talented guys like John Cena don't stray into the main event. Booker T: "Look Rob, up there, there's a beam of light that resembles an giant "A"...for Angel, we're saved!! No more jobbing for us. RVD: "No you idiot, that's not an "A" those are 3 H's." Booker T: "Tell me you did not just say that." The love angle between Jericho and Trish took a turn for the worst when Christian had sex with him. Little did Trish know that she was about to be eaten by the giant Chris Jericho. Mick was pretty upset that Randy tore his new pair of sweat pants. Stacy: "Have you ever deepthroated something THIS BIG?" Torrie: "Why don't you ask Tajiri?" Stacy immediately removed her foot and set forth for Tajiri's locker room. Although they appeared happy, Sable and Torrie were pretty pissed thatt Moolah and Mae Young were getting more action backstage than they were. Chavo Sr.: "You must do me this honor...promise me you will survive....that you will never give up...not matter what happens...no matter how hopeless...promise me now, and never let go of that promise." Chavo Jr.: "I promise." Chavo Sr.: "Never let go." Chavo Jr. "I promise I'll never let go Jack, I promise." Chavo Sr.: "Good...wait who's Jack?" Brock: "Man I'm itchin' to play some FOOTBALL!!" Goldberg: "Shut up we need to finish the match first." Brock: "Who cares, they already hate us." Fans were quite disgusted that Rikishi shit out one of the Basham Brothers. Molly: "Alright I'm bald, I'm bound to get a push now!" Kane was used to being in that position when Hunter held him down. Chris Benoit's new cannibal gimmick was mad over with the fans. Belt: "I am the spirit of Triple H, I hereby command you to bury everybody on the roster." Chris: "WTF?!" |
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03-15-2004, 05:38 PM
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#15 |
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Mas Vagina Porfavor
Posts: 11,343
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WTF happened to the Ankle lock pic, and the Benoit/Eddie celebration pic?
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03-15-2004, 06:09 PM
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#16 |
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Thread Killer
Posts: 613
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Why are all the pics ****ed up?
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03-15-2004, 06:14 PM
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#17 |
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VG + Q&A FORUM REPRESENT
Posts: 38,940
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Man they've changed the pics, after all my hard work
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03-15-2004, 07:11 PM
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#18 |
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Fthagn?
Posts: 10,042
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You know it's bad when Satan gets nose bleed seats. Cena: WHITE POWER! This gimmick lasted VERY shortly. The emotion so off the hook, Cena LIFTING Big Show, Satan in the nose bleed section, the ref doing some little jig, the crowd was on a HIGH! So high, that one member in the audience even turned Super Saiyan! Using his balding monk powers, the ref broke ever bone in John's arm, and made the belt finish the left arm off. And through Cena's tears, all that could be heard was a faint, yet emphasized: "Panama..." This is the new WMXX logo?! Oh..OH, they're just making a W, my bad. Christian: You stole my hair. Jericho: You stole my goatee. Hunter watched in humour as the two tore each other apart. His plan to eliminate the Canadians by letting some keep long hair and the others have goatees was slowly, but surely, destroying their mutal bond. Christian suddenly came to the realization that this was the WORST skating rink ever. Or was this the pony ride? Either way, it sucked worse than a Wookie versus jobber match. Trish was understandably upset. She wanted to confess her love for Jericho, and he just HAD to go blind from a weird case of quick acting glaucoma. Stupid, indignant Jericho. Ref: Oh man, oh boy. A quarter! My lucky day. And with cut backs, this gives me a DOLLAR for pay today! The wife is going to be so happy. Christian, Jericho, check this out, I found a quarte--OH MY GOD! Trish: HA! Take that you backstabing bastard, rotten useless piece of worthless filth mother****ing bastard son of a whore mother... Christian (Thinking): Trish has a hot ass... Trish: ...shit sucking piece of worthless moronic... Christian: Is that Satan up there? Trish: I sure told him with those insults! HAHA! I am the MEAN HEEL! Rock: Okay, mic, that's Flair there...but that doesn't sound like his "2001 Space Odyessy" theme...and who were those other two jabronis again? The ref was a bit surprised. He'd been forced into one of Triple H's "push parties" before a few times, but this was the first time he'd seen one of those from Foley... Batista on the other hand was coming to the notion he might not ever walk again. Batista: You just killed Rock!? YOU'RE the one who's been killing everyone! Ric: Wait, I can explain! Batista: Try me, old man! Ric: Rocky...Rocky speak! *covers mouth and talks* I am the Rock, I am alive. Flair is God.. Batista: Oh my Flair, I'm sorry I ever doubted you sir.. Rock: Okay, I've seen Rikishi do this a hundred times...I just fall on his chest..Wait...Hey Mick, is Rikishi still wrestling?! Batista took the surprise moment to get a good gripping on Orton's backside. Unfortunately for Flair, though, Batista's arm and hand had much more reach than he thought. |
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03-15-2004, 07:15 PM
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#19 | |
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The Next Great One н²
Posts: 18,684
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Quote:
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03-15-2004, 08:01 PM
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#20 |
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Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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Eh, i think the images got changed
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03-15-2004, 08:02 PM
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#21 |
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Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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Okay they did, this sucks, we lost our captions.
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03-15-2004, 08:03 PM
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#22 |
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Pelvic Sorcerer
Posts: 64,762
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omg, this sucks so bad damn the wwe for changing all the pictures, damn them to hell!
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03-15-2004, 08:12 PM
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#23 |
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Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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NOTE: If you've posted captions already, it would be a good idea to simply EDIT them with the following photos. That way, less spam, and you can keep the captions you've already posted.
New Photos/Order:                   
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03-15-2004, 08:13 PM
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#24 |
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Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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03-15-2004, 08:16 PM
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#25 |
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Only Sane Person Here
Posts: 17,983
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lol @ all the pics changing so none of the captions make sense
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03-15-2004, 08:25 PM
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#26 |
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Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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Wow, not only did they dupe a couple, but the order is all messed up. I think we should wait until they straighten that shit out because they will probably fix the images again.
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03-15-2004, 09:36 PM
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#27 |
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Fthagn?
Posts: 10,042
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Stacy: Oh God, please don't let daddy be watching...He said I wasn't supposed to be almost naked on TV 'til I was fourteen... Stacy: Take *huff* that *huff* Shannon... Stacy & Torrie (at the same time): RAPE!! Stacy: Wha' happen'? or HER Invisible Crucifix. The same IC you know and love, with leak absorbing protection. Torrie: So *giggle*, why are you smiling like that Sable? Sable: No reason my dear.. Here we see the ref do the right thing, and put Rey out of our misery. Flash..  Chavo JR: Father....NOOO! Chavo SR: Son...you must...live on... Chavo SR is then dragged to be the offering for the Altar of Hunter that night. Goldberg: You sold out...you sold out... Lesnar: STOP IT! Goldberg: Teletubbies suck...Teletubbies suck.... Lesnar (in tears): SHUT UP! Goldberg: Hey, I can see talent from here! Hand: You know, back in my day, we didn't have all of this fancy wrestling where you had to use your upper-arm strength and prowess. All we had was our THUMBS to wrestle with. And we had to walk fifty miles...IN THE SNOW..to do it! Vince: Oh shit...I forgot my line... Rikishi paused. He hadn't read the spoilers online, but he wondered if Brock would STILL kill him if he got on the internet after Lesnar was gone. Basham A learned you NEVER suplex Rikishi. Scotty & Rikishi: If Booker and Van Druggie can have a W, then so can we! The virtual game of "Who's Who?" became so true, when after the audience was left asking "Who's that?" When Molly offered you to let her breast feed you, you AGREED or lost a jaw bone. Here we see the ref playing "Shadow" with Victoria. The crowd made it clear that they weren't too happy about his full view. It's sad when you have to get nailed to a broken invisible crucifix.. This, my friends, is why you never pass out at a Triple H "Push" party. |
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03-15-2004, 09:45 PM
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#28 |
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Mas Vagina Porfavor
Posts: 11,343
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ARRRGHHHH MY ****ING CAPTIONS ARE RUINED!!
VINCE IS BURYING ME!! |
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03-15-2004, 10:02 PM
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#29 |
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#1 Senior Elite Member
Posts: 7,887
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And then we knew the where abouts of Osama Bin Ladin. |
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03-15-2004, 10:08 PM
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#30 |
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Darth Teedious
Posts: 4,634
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As the shattered pieces of the glass ceiling fell to the floor of Madison Square Garden, Chris Beoit revelled in the knowledge that no matter what happened on tomorrow's Raw, or at Backlash, or anywhere down the line, he had done it. It was Wrestlemania 20, he was the man, and nobody could take that away from him, not even the boss's roided up, big-nosed son in law. Who said all captions had to be funny anyways. |
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03-15-2004, 10:13 PM
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#31 |
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Fthagn?
Posts: 10,042
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Molly was sad. Not because she looks like Sinnead O'Conner, but because she just realized she could have saved tons of money on her car insurance by switching to Geico. Eddie: NO BODY MOVE...Or the ANGLE GETS IT! WCWSyndrome was catching up with the WWE. Needless to say, Eddie wasn't impressed with the ref's Ali impression. Eddie: I am the WWE Champion, I am the WWE Champion, I am the WWE Champion... Worst. Dropkick. Ever. Eddie debutes his OperaMan gimmick. Even Paul gets creeped out by that damn pyro. Or Paul: ...........UH OH! Paul: Now, one more time, WITH FEELING! Druids: One. Of us. Is wearing. A push-up bra. Notice how the WWE editted out the tumbleweed?  (8)When the eyes of the Rangers are upon you...(8) 'Taker: What the...the glass ceiling?! Ref: Oh SHEE-IT! Kane: BOOOO! Worst. Head Scissors. EVER. Kane: What the unmmmfmfmf Taker: Heh heh...learned this from Triple H! Gene Simmons looks different... Hunter: Will...Not...Let...Him...TAP.... Hunter: Shawn, or the rumours true?! Shawn: Oh MAN, it's like the Storm guy too down here! Hunter: Stupid Canadians.. Good lord, the Crucifix broke! Good lord! Hunter (thinking): This wasn't in Shawn's book on screwing Canadians! Benoit: Oh God..it's so beautiful, so shin...what the heck is this note?! *tears the note and reads it.* Note: Benoit, congratulations on your win. See you on your back in April. Love, Hunter. Eddie: So...you got the title? Benoit: Yup..and you? Eddie: Yeah... Benoit: Think the smarks are happy? Eddie: Yeah... Benoit: Wonder if they'll ever realize that it has been us controlling the booking, and not Hunter? Eddie: Noot any time soon Vato! The Double Anti-Chokehold. Good for clearing the throat. Benoit: What the heck is this stu-OH DEAR CHRIST, ASBESTOS!! Well, if you're going to get heavy lung cancer from the falling fire-proof powder, might as well live it up. |
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03-15-2004, 11:20 PM
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#32 |
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One Man Horror Show
Posts: 1,046
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Now I'm a pretty straight guy, but even I have to say that John's got the most radiant ass in wrestling. In a vicious heel turn, John Cena leads Mr. Socko away in chains. "What the --- ? The United States Title?" RVD: "Hey, Booker, does that say 'Foley: Rock, I'm getting pinned, beam me up!'"?!?!?! Booker: "Looks like Vince is screwing around with Wrestlemania photos to piss of the TPWW.net captioneers, sucka." RVD: "Oh, good. For a while there, I thought I was having the delirium tremens again." Christian: "When in the hell was I ever taller than you?" Jericho: "Just shut up and kiss me, you tall fool." Chris knew he shouldn't have tried the Extra Spicy Pad Thai. Let this be a lesson to us all: the guy with the nicest Legos always gets the girls. "We're men... Manly Men! ... We're men in tights... YES!" Strip London Bridge at its finest. Months ago, Rey made a bet with Dawn Marie that if she'd dress up as her favorite Justice League member, he'd go to Wrestlemania dressed up as the flash. He felt kinda silly now, but DAMN Wonder Woman was fine. Goldberg: "You can't go to the NFL, Brock. It'll ruin you. Look at me, son. I used to be on the Atlanta Falcons!" Brock: "Oh my God... WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!?" "Alright... got the money, the power, and the bitchin' Lego set ... c'mon, LADIES!" Seconds after seeing his new president of operations, Donald Trump immediately regrets hiring personnel through that damn reality show. Molly: "Wow, that shampoo felt nice. So we're doing hi-lites today?" Victoria: "Er..... yyyyyeahh....." Molly: "Why do I have this sudden urge to star in Alien 3?" Eddie hoped that no one noticed that he'd lied and cheated to steal Golddust's boots. Papa Smurf sure is packin' the pounds lately. To the delight of geeks everywhere, the Ring-Wraiths take on the Dementors of Azkaban in a You-ripped-off-my-gimmick-you-hack-bastard Battle Royale. King: "Oh, my God, JR! It's the Undertaker... and he's wearing a HAT!" JR: "It's truly the return of the Deadman!" King: "Now he's doing that thing with his eyes!" JR: "Can there be no salvation for the most evil man in wrestling?" King: "Now he's doing ... what do call that, JR?" JR: "The most DANGEROUS move in all of.... in all of.... aw hell, I can't do this anymore! That's just Mark Calloway with a new HAT!" JR: "Hold on, King... THAT'S new." Minutes later, Taker was sent to the corner for sticking out his tongue in class. Eddie: "Honestly, Chris... 'Atlanta, Georgia'?" Benoit: "Shhhh.... Not until my green card clears!" Failing to comprehend that Benoit didn't job to either Hunter or Michaels, the universe spontaneously combusts. Last edited by El Santo; 03-16-2004 at 01:07 AM. |
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03-16-2004, 12:01 AM
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#33 |
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WOOOOOOOOO!
Posts: 12,237
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Christian: is that Chanel # 5? Jericho: You noticed 
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03-16-2004, 12:44 AM
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#34 | |
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The Next Great One н²
Posts: 18,684
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03-16-2004, 01:11 AM
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#35 | |
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Posts: 448
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Quote:
 Good one 
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03-16-2004, 02:18 AM
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#36 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Well, archiving this is going to be trick, because:
1. The pics were screwed up, so I'm not going to count anything before RB's post of the new pics. 2. El Santo was on fire. I mean, he was like the NY set when Kane came out. |
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03-16-2004, 03:57 AM
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#37 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Okay, here goes nothing. A year ago, I was very slowly starting to get good at this. I also remember Lamuella going berserk on the WM captions from last year, and El Santo already went psycho, so I got some big shoes to try to fill...
Tragedy struck when Cheech revealed John Cena to be John Connor right as the T-X entered the building. Cena's new Adult Bondage Sock Puppets were a huge hit with the crowd. Show reacted the only way he knew how and gave Cena the single worst wedgie of his life. Yeah. Cena just realized he was naked again. OR Panic struck Cena when he realized he'd forgotten to turn off the oven. RVD and Booker's plan to have the alien destroy anyone with gold eventually backfired with the UFO showed up at Wrestlemania packing heat... Jericho: *sniff sniff* "Grilled chicken parmegean melt with onion rings and ranch dressing." Christian: "You, my friend, are good." Apparently, Christian had a hard time grasping the concept that Jericho was, in fact, NOT a pony. Trish was so utterly vicious in her heinous attack on the bottom turnbuckle that Jericho couldn't bear to watch. Christian: "Hey, mind if I practice with you right now before I bone Trish for reals later tonight?" Jericho: "Yeah, sure--wait a minute..." After successfully accomplishing their mission, the HHH Hold-Down Drones accented the humilation with a taunting pose before returning to their holding docks. Unfortunately, on their way back, the Hold-Down Drones weren't too careful and were devoured by a ferocious Jerichozilla. Offscreen: "Who's a washed up wrestler who doesn't wrestle full time yet can come back periodically and get a good PPV spot?" Mick: "I am!" Hand: "He is!" Foley: "Shoot this man in the ass!" Jack Dunn: "Um... Mick, who are you talking to, and what are you pointing at?" Foley: "Isn't that the funny thing to say for this sort of caption?" Dunn: "Yeah... but the nearest person is Batista, and he's behind you." Foley: "Oh. Damn... I've been out of this too long." To add insult to injury, after knocking The Rock down, Flair took the time to show off his Removable Thumb Trick to an awestruck Batista before going for the cover. Never one to back down from oneupsmanship, The Rock showed off his Removable Wrist Trick to an awestruck audience after planting Flair with the spinebuster. Orton unintentionally added to his Legend Killer resume after he forgot to put on some deodorant earlier that day. Stacy was especially pleased with the new vibrating ring ropes. As you can see by her reaction, Jackie Gayda just botched standing on the ring apron. Torrie always picked the worst times to remove clothing tags. Stacy: "All right, who's the wise ass who shut off the vibrator???" Torrie snickered when moments later, the snare trap wrapped around Sable's wrist and lifted her up into the air. One diva down, nine to go... Last year, Daredevil had a heck of a time battling his foes at Wrestlemania XIX. The Flash didn't fare much better this year. Hilarity ensued when Chavo's gravity manipulation powers went awry. Brock: "Wait... you're not Lawrence Taylor..." Brock made a mental note to enunciate the next time he talked with Goldberg. He wanted to be in football, not a football. Lesnar: "So you're telling me this is a legal tackle in the NFL?" Goldberg: "Yup." Lesnar: "You're SURE I won't get a flag for this, right?" Goldberg: "Not at all." Lesnar: "Cool. Ya know, I really appreciate your using your prior NFL experience to help me out." Goldberg: "Sure thing... sucker..." Fans were dismayed when Vince came out to announce that Hunter was scheduled to bury the entire city of New York next month. Rikishi: "Oh man, that was some dump." Well, this proves it. NO ONE can carry Rikishi to a match, not even on the grandest stage of them all. Scotty, Nick, and Rikishi figured this pose could thward the lowering of the glass ceiling. Boy were they wrong! People had always called Donald Trump evil, but when he aired his Al Quaeda dealings live on TV, there was no longer any doubt. Icky saliva or not, Molly was getting those dentures back! The ladies weren't too keen on this new "Get in prime paddling position when Triple H comes out" order, but it was either that or be buried on Heat... Victoria was ecstatic about her huge win until the Wrestlemania XX logo ran her down, "doing it for The Rock." Victoria was just a bit creeped out by Molly's orgasmic expression in response to the shave, but as long as she got to have fun with razors, it was okay. Molly wasn't too thrilled when the girls enlisted her in the Marines and had her shipped out to Iraq. If punching through Eddie's chest with his arm didn't bring the Guerrero down, Angle thought, nothing would. Angle and Eddie do their best Big-Show-gasping-and-wheezing-after-twenty-seconds-of-work impressions. Patrick: "Simon says... touch your shoulder!" Eddie: "WTF, ese?" Angle: "Whoa, Sean's cage IS really dirty! And why is he doing a striptease..." Eddie might have been taking this whole "lie, cheat, and steal" gimmick a little far when he tried to steal his OWN boots. Leave it to Angle to come up with the most intense push-up regiments ever. Eddie shows off the leather boots he swiped from Saks 5th Avenue, complete with giant price tag still attached. Paul Bearer was a bit vocal in voicing his tremendous sudden urge for a Big Mac. When it was learned that Triple H was going to tap out cleanly later that night, the disbelieving stadium began to spontaneously burn down. Some of the druids apparently didn't understand kayfabe when they decided to test the "You cannot kill what's already dead" tagline and set Undertaker on fire. Even Taker wasn't too thrilled about his new wardrobe. Breaking away from his psycho monster character, Kane was happy to help the old man cross the ring ropes. The match grounded to a standstill when Taker just sat there, enjoying Kane's amusing Teletubby impressions. Both Kane and Taker suddenly had a flashback through the 127 times they'd gone through this. To ensure Kane was buried for good, Taker put Jacobs through the "Triple H Treatment." Here is a rare shot of KISS on their day off... Benoit: "Tap, dammit!" Michaels: "Pain... intense... owie owie owie..." Triple H: "Hang in there! Don't tap buddy! Earl's about to call for the bell." Hebner: "Wait a moment... this definitely isn't the sharpshooter... dammit, I don't know what to do." Things got a little weird when all three wrestlers stopped mid-bump to buggy down to 70s music, accompanied by the Wrestlemania XX Disco Ball. Benoit had flattened a large, flat, smooth pane. Wait a moment, wasn't it supposed to be the other way around? Triple H refused to tap until Benoit took matters into his own hands and wrenched Hunter's left leg 180 degrees forward. Benoit: "This is a dream come true! I'm so hap---EWWW!!! There's still bits of Hunter's skin on here!!!" Eddie: "Man, ese, I sure wish Dean and Perry were still here to share this great moment!" Chris: "Yeah... but they're not..... You can let go now." Eddie: "Can't. Stuck." Chris: "Dammit! That Rhyno is like lightning!" And here you can actually see hell beginning to freeze over... Benoit and Eddie never understood how they'd managed to actually become champs until they heard the evil laughter of Vince's voice over the PA system followed by the first bursts of the implosion charges... Whew! SIXTY captions! I'll pat myself on the back for the effort.
Last edited by Corkscrewed; 03-16-2004 at 04:37 AM. |
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03-16-2004, 04:42 AM
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#38 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Oh, and to make it easier for me, could anyone who wants to be archived just edit their original post and delete all their captions, then redo them in a new thread? That way I don't have to check anything above RB's reposting of the corrected captions...
Or you can make my life difficult. 
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03-16-2004, 02:14 PM
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#39 |
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Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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In a Biblical reeanactment, David squared off against Goliath with special guest referee: Hitler. Cena: Yo yo yo yo. I got a chain around my hand, and I'm gonna hit Big Show in the head. He'll be knocked out so cold, y'all gonna think he's dead. And after I pin him for the one-two-three, y'all just might think "credibility" when you DO SEE ME. Word life. (Sean O'Haire lowers his laser-pointing sniper rifle) Cena: WHY GOD? WHY? After Cena defeated Show, much to his surprise, his credibility continued to shrink, and he too, as a result. (Backstage before the match) RVD: Just try it Book... Would Rob, Van, Dam, steer you wrong? Booker T: I guess not sucka. (15 minutes later) Booker: Yo, RVD man, what is this shit we just smoked... I'm hallucinatin'... I feel like we just won titles at Wrestlemania. RVD: This is the greatest thing on the planet... My personal homegrown laced with Evolution Kool-Aid, dude... Christian: Have you been giving head to Stephanie McMahon? Jericho: Wrong! Fish filet sandwich with extra tartar sauce and refried bean dip! Christian had one hell of a challenge. He was to pull the referee out of Jericho's ass before the new year's ball dropped. Trish: EWWWWWWWW! Jericho: Sorry! How was I supposed to know that urinal cake wasn't a giant breathmint!? And just then, the referee did the most enthusiastic and powerful "you're a homo" finger point in history. Jericho: *Spitting and coughing* Christian: Shannon Moore, that had to be the cruelest joke I ever saw. Christian: Jericho, chill man! This isn't real! Jericho: No fair! WAHHHHH! I'm TELLING! Trish: *Laughing* Jericho: What's so funny you little backstabber!? Trish: Chris, this is all staged! Christian just showed me this was all acting and everything has been on camera the whole time! Jericho: ...And your feelings for me? Trish: Erm... Jericho: The Rock, on his first ever two-win Wrestlemania streak, wanted to protect his investment by being on Randy Orton's team instead. Mick sure had his hands full if he wanted to call everyone in MSG a homo. Ric Flair knew they had no chance of pinning The Rock when he had to demonstrate to Batista in a game of charades to hurry up and pin him, or he'll nip up and do a bunch of finishing moves. Batista: Are you sure? I wasn't going to try until at least 5 or 6 more powerbombs and a few spinebusters... Rock: Can ya smell it jabroni? Flair: ...yes, sadly. Batista laughed. He knew his toxic farts mist blew the green mist out of the water, when both Flair and Orton passed out. Ref: Wow, sure is crowded in here. Ref: Oh my god, your legs are spread at exactly a 108 degree angle... How do you do that? Stacy: You should see my 360. Ref:  360!? How did you learn to do that!?Stacy: Well, Vince doesn't give divas their own seats on the planes, so I learned to compact myself as checked baggage. King: Stacy with a... er. Torrie connects with... Eh... Sable, Jackie, with a... JR. Who is doing what to who? JR: I don't know, King, but I have the erection of a government mule right now. Stacy: Ok, who deflated my tits and ass? Here is your winner, and new WWE Cruiserweight Champion, Shannon, Moooooooooooore! Spider-Man vs. Daredevil ended in a no contest when referee Norman Osbourne interfered on Daredevil's behalf. After Rey put the ring to sleep by rapping, Chavo took advantage. Rey: I run around in a paranoid stupa', trying to find the guy who took my chalupa. Chavo: Rey, what the hell are you talking about? Rey: I gotta figure out how many tacos to order, to move ahead I gotta run for the border. Chavo: ...Save me daddy... Goldberg: Hehehhubbie so geh. Tehweh suh. Laalaa suh mah dih lah nah. Ah puh mah Teh Weh ih heh buh ho. Sheh loft eh. Brock Lesnar: I don't understand? Goldberg: Ah, neh mah. Bah to bureheh yeh. Bah theh weh, Fahcahs peh weh. Goldberg: ! YEH HUH LIH UH DOHEH! Brock: Why, thank you Bill. Goldberg was screwed when Thing from Adams Family decided to interfere. Vince: So, in my newest business venture, I have decided to start off my own website, as an offshoot of EBay... I present to you... EMania! JR: King, I love this man with all my heart and soul, but he has got to stop smoking crack. Haas: Hey, I thought of a new tongue twister! Check it out. Haas has hoss ass in his - OH DEAR GOD NO! Basham: Sit on my face and tell me lies... Rikishi: *Sits on his face* I am a credible tag champ. In an effort to clear things up in the locker room, Vince personally came out and made sure everyone knew Rikishi and Scotty were really Tag Team Champions. In an attempt to actually make people vote for it, the country revealed its newest reality TV show series, Decision 2008. Where the winners would be declared the President and Vice President. And here is the first team, Jessie "The Hobo" Ventura and Donald Trump. Victoria had a habit of biting her nails when she was nervous, and the possibility of seeing Molly bald seemed to do the trick. Worst. Razor's Edge. Ever. Only a chick would win the gold at the greatest showcase of them all, WILLYMANIA! Victoria: I snagged a bottle of Shawn's shampoo... How does it feel? Molly: OH YES... Oh GOD yes... Oh! Barber dude: (Really Triple H using his shapeshifting abilities) Hmm, so that's how he does that to me... Last edited by Rock Bottom; 03-16-2004 at 06:17 PM. |
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03-16-2004, 02:48 PM
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#40 |
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Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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After the US Marines and MP's showed up to collect their AWOL soldier, Vince could not afford to lose Orton at such a key moment. So it was up to Molly to take one for the team. OR Molly unleashed hew new gimmick, G.I. Jane. Eddie: So how's it feel when I do THIS!? Kurt: OUCH! Eddie: Hm. And THIS? Kurt: OH GOD PLEASE STOP! Eddie: Alright, time to get cheiropractor Lesnar. Kurt: OMG NO. BATISTA does a better spinebuster than Brock! Kurt: I don't see it. Eddie: Whew. I thought Shawn had taped a "bury me" sign to my back. Eddie: Nice going moron, you knocked out Kurt. Ref: Malfunction. Malfunction. System overload. Eddie: Shit, I knew this was one of Michaels's remote-control referees! Eddie: This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home... This little piggy had roast beef, this little piggy had none... And this little piggy went, "WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE," all the way home! Richards: *Giggle* Eddie: Harder! Don't be a pussy! Angle: *TWIST* Eddie: ARGH! HARDER YOU LITTLE GIRL! Angle: Now THAT does it! *TWISTWISTWISTWIST!* Eddie: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! KEEP GOING! Angle: I'm trying Eddie, but these damn shoes won't come off! Eddie: That puta Rhyno! Eddie: Haha Rhyno, you DUMBASS! You tried to glue my shoe to my foot, but you really glued the WWE belt to me! I'M THE NEXT TRIPLE H! Count Chocula was pissed when he found out they added blueberry marshmallows to his cereal! 'Taker was screwed, when awaiting him on the way to the ring was the Kane Klux Klan. JR: BAH GAWD KING! IT'S THE LOVECHILD OF IRVINE KINNEAS AND SEPHIROTH! King: Who the hell are they? JR: Oh sorry King, all those FFX2 commericals did a number on me in my free time. JR: Anyway, bah gawd, the deadman has risen! King: And not only that, but he's on E-pills too JR! Kane already knew the Undertaker was more over than him, but 'Taker had to rub it in by demonstrating. JR: BAH GAWD THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR KICKED OUT OF THE PEDIGREE! King: Wrong match JR. JR: Mah bawd. Satan: Oh Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaneyyyyyyyy, Kaaaaaaaaaneyyyyyyyy... 'Taker and Kane did their impression of Triple H and Shawn Michaels. Since there was no way to kick out of the tombstone, Kane gave the 'Taker a 'zerbet' in an attempt to make him giggle out of the pin. Undertaker: WUZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP. or It was much like 'Taker to brag like Michael Jordan after winning the big one. Michaels: QUICK, save me! I'm in a Canadian finisher! or Hebner: Ugh, all this long hair is confusing me, which two of you are Canadians again? Triple H: *MAKES THE SAVE* Triple H: Are you sure about this Shawn? I mean, if we suplex him, won't he be 'over' us for a few seconds? Shawn: Hm, good point... Let's just not suplex him all the way, then. Triple H: Great idea! Benoit: Forgive them father, for they know not what they do... Benoit: TAP OUT TRIPLE H! Triple H: NEVER! Why in the HELL would I job the gold to you cleanly at Mania and sell that weak move!? I AM THE GAME! Benoit: Look Triple H. A spider on the mat right under your right hand! Triple H: OMG KILL IT! KILL IT! I AM AFRAID OF SPIDERS! (Pounding the mat profusely) Benoit: Sucker... Ref: Dude, why are you crying? Your dream just came true! Benoit: No it didn't... Ref: Why not? Benoit: *Sniffle* Because I'm not naked. (Mexican Soap Opera Music) Eddie: Benoit... I know that we lovers are split by the brands. But ese vato, we each have our respective brand belts to remember each other by. Benoit: Yes! We shall forever be bonded by the belts! And even though this belt gives me the right to bone Stephanie and Michaels, I won't do it! Chavo was too sore to accept his invitation to the Showcase of the Immigrants. |
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