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Old 03-04-2013, 09:03 AM   #1
Curd
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Post-Wrestlemania: "Crier" Zack Ryder, a.k.a. "The Enhanced Talent"
Understanding that Zack Ryder has ended his 100-episode "Long Island Iced Z" series and how his "Hoeski" single has peaked, he has nothing to look forward to except generating more heat through his complaints about not being featured on WWE cameras. The consistent theme is when all the pageantry of New Jersey clubber Zack Ryder exhausts itself, the true angst of Matt Cardoma glooms on.

There is only so much longer Ryder can push the same gimmick and expect better results. Even his proclamations in "Hoeski" sound haunting: "But I still woo-woo-woo" sounds more tired than enthusiastic, and "Someday I'll get over you" sounds more like a wish than an actuality. In other words, the lyrics and production make Zack seem emo.

So why not exploit these tendencies into a gimmick change? Have Ryder make an "unscripted" WrestleMania run-in and be confronted backstage by Talent Relations (with cameras present, of course). If the Divas have an on-camera match, then have that be the interrupted match for additional angst. Bonus points if it's an Eve match and Ryder distracts her to cost the match in a reversal of the situation last WrestleMania.

Zack then tweets about how he made his own WrestleMania moment despite haters. The following RAW, Ryder interrupts a comedy segment (maybe Brodus and Tensai's post-match victory dance) to complain how their Vaudeville act is taking away his TV time. Have B&T challenge Zack to a tag match for the next RAW.

Because no one wants to be Zack's partner, the General Manager gives him a mystery partner. The better-communicating team of B&T wins, causing Ryder to take out his frustration on his partner with arm waving and aggressive questioning. The weeks after, Ryder again faces B&T with a different randomly assigned partner each RAW (complaining on social media all the while) until one day his mystery partner is Hornswoggle. After losing to B&T yet again, Ryder hits the Rough Ryder on Hornswoggle to complete his heel turn.

Later in the program, Matt Striker asks Ryder, "Of all the people to victimize, why Hornswoggle?" Ryder: "Why Hornswoggle? You mean, 'Why Zack Ryder?' Why am I forced into the situation of being a joke or being off camera? Zack Ryder is not comedy fodder. Next week, I'll show the WWE Universe a new side of me." Striker: "What exactly do you mean, Zack? Are you alright?" Ryder walks away.

The Monday after, Michael Cole opens RAW by running down the match lineup with the additional statement "including the revelation of a 'new side' of Zack Ryder." At the top of the second hour, Ryder emerges on the ramp without entrance music or video and with black highlights in his hair and wearing a plain black tee shirt, black slacks, and black wrestling boots. Gone is the Long Island smile, replaced by a serious frown and intense glares to the audience as he comes to the ring.

Microphone in hand, Ryder proclaims, "You people were the grassroots movement which made WWE sit up and take notice of Zack Ryder. But now the honeymoon's over, and WWE no longer cares you've been behind me for over two years. I'm sick and tired of woo-woo-woo'ing for everyone like I'm some kind of novelty. Zack Ryder is main event material, not novelty!"

Ryder lowers the mic and looks around, absorbing the boos. Raising the mic anew, Ryder continues, "I tell it like it is, and you people have the nerve to boo! Go ahead, because WWE doesn't care about your opinion! Zack Ryder will now give the highers up what they want to see, a desperate man on a manic mission, and the so-called 'WWE Universe' (hand quotes) can shove (sticks palm forward) off (thrusts arm to the side)." Ryder looks around again to absorb more boos, drops the mic, and sulks to the back.

"Crier" Zack Ryder (have Lawler coin the term) would borrow elements from "Age of the Fall"-era Jimmy Jacobs and 2003-2004 Raven while bringing Ryder's angst to the forefront. While heel, Zack would maintain his YouTube account to engage fans into berating him for his actions and general outlook. YT users tend to enjoy insulting each other, and so it's a given many would comment on Ryder's wall and videos thereby boosting name recognition. Although the WWEFanNation account does not allow comments, a workaround is WWE could permit Zack to resume uploading through his own account because "WWE does not sanction the outbursts of Mr. Ryder" and so forth. Do the same with his Twitter and Tout accounts.

Have these segments continue over several RAWs, culminating in the following promo, "Do you fans now understand? I was right! As soon as I got real, WWE gave me more camera time. Not the comedy skit type of exposure, but real promotional time. So now that I have everyone's attention, including that of those who *really* count--" (looks around to absorb boos) "--I hereby demand my rematch with Dolph Ziggler! I won the U.S. Championship from Ziggler at Survivor Series 2011 and lost the title back to him but was never granted another try! Now he's Mr. Money in the Bank, and I considering I've never been privileged to participate in such a match, I wonder if the Show Off would care to put his briefcase on the line. Dolph, if you're man enough and not hiding behind your body bodyguard and that crazy chick, then come out and face me."

Ziggler comes out with Langston and AJ to answer. Dolph and Zack have a verbal exchange, ending with Ziggler accepting for "later tonight" and Ryder remarking, "Your gravy train is going to be derailed." They face each other in a ten-minute match in which Dolph comes to the ring alone and Ryder counters both the rocker dropper and the Zig-Zag, hitting a small package which Dolph kicks out from. As Ziggler gets up, Ryder fireman carries him into a Samoan drop and rolls back for the pin with his feet on the turnbuckle, which the ref does not see when he slaps the three count!

Ryder slides out of the ring, grabs the MITB briefcase and runs backstage before Langston and AJ come out to help Ziggler to the back. The following week, Ryder cuts the following promo, "Last week, I upstaged the Show Off! Now Zack Ryder is Mr. Money in the Bank! How does it feel, Dolph, to plummet so quickly? I bet next week you'll be facing a jobber on Superstars. I have proven that Zack Ryder is not enhancement talent but the Enhanced Talent!" Ryder absorb the boos, continuing, "And the Enhanced Talent doesn't need catchphrases to get over--"

Ziggler's music interrupts, and Dolph comes out saying, "--Because not only are you over in your own mind, but YOU ARE OVER. PERIOD." Ziggler rushes the ring, but Ryder bails with the briefcase. They have similar exchanges on Raw the next few weeks (Langston and AJ refusing to help for whatever reasons the writers and Vince agree upon), culminating in a Backlash match which ends with Ryder assaulting Dolph with a chair after the match to set up more promos and matches to continue their feud through King of the Ring and potentially SummerSlam. Thus, Ryder is elevated to working with other main events long-term and Dolph stays on his own as a competent talker.

If WWE needed to kill the gimmick for whatever reason, they could have a character (maybe Hornswoggle) discover a toy gun in Ryder's gym bag and report it to police, who then escort Ryder off the premises ("Sir, do not struggle. Resisting arrest is a crime.") and send him into a mental health lockdown facility (where a live camera feed just happens to be as Zack wails in frustration). Ryder could return several weeks later "rehabilitated into a new man with a love for life" and perhaps do a DDP-style motivational speaker gimmick in tandem with Dr. Shelby.

Bonus permutation: If Jack Chick somehow ticks off WWE in the interim, then Ryder could hand out Chick-style tracts to the audience on his way to the ring and talk about how Dr. Shelby "saved" him with his prison ministry of "Shelby tracts" and now it is his turn to "save" the WWE Universe from their mutually assured hatred and destruction. But again, the focus after WrestleMania is for Ryder to develop his angst into a gimmick change to show WWE Creative something new. Your thoughts?
Last edited by Curd; 03-18-2013 at 10:59 PM.
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Old 03-04-2013, 09:08 AM   #2
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I got through about half of that, but it wouldn't work because Ryder doesn't have the acting chops to turn heel or be anything other than a comedy wrestler or maybe a sympathetic face like during his angle with Ziggler/Eve/Cena. He's fine in those roles, and he's fun to have around, but let's not let his show cloud our judgement of him. He's quite average at most things.
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Old 03-04-2013, 09:11 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iginfest View Post
I got through about half of that, but it wouldn't work because Ryder doesn't have the acting chops to turn heel or be anything other than a comedy wrestler or maybe a sympathetic face like during his angle with Ziggler/Eve/Cena. He's fine in those roles, and he's fun to have around, but let's not let his show cloud our judgement of him. He's quite average at most things.
This would push his current boundaries, as intended.
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Old 03-04-2013, 09:13 AM   #4
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Don't get me wrong, it's a fine scenario and it'd definitely be interesting. But I just don't see Ryder being anything more than what he is, which is fine.
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Old 03-04-2013, 09:27 AM   #5
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Read a little bit of both. My only comment is Eve does not work for the WWE anymore.
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Old 03-04-2013, 09:49 AM   #6
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There's no way in fuck I'm reading that. Ill just assume he snaps and turns into a loner submission machine.
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Old 03-04-2013, 10:08 AM   #7
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I hope Ryder does well cause he seems like a nice guy, but I just can't see it in him. He's still pretty young though so I guess anything is possible.
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Old 03-04-2013, 10:10 AM   #8
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Have Zack Ryder actually metamorph into Jimmy Jacobs. Like it's clearly Jimmy Jacobs but everyones still calling him Zack Ryder, don't even change his titantron or anything.

Then repackage the real Zack Ryder as Scotty Goldman.
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Old 03-04-2013, 10:33 AM   #9
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I have no sympathy for Ryder. the guy has made a lot of money, traveled the world and for a job is a freaking profressional wrestler. stop freaking complaining on twitter and just ask for your release or stfu
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Old 03-04-2013, 10:48 AM   #10
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He's bottom of the card, shares a small flat with his irritating friend and spent a year begging people to buy his merch for a low end cut like he was working a gimmick table in a high school gym so I doubt he's actually made that much money.
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Old 03-04-2013, 10:51 AM   #11
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His butt hurt bitching has taken to being annoying, and I really never cared for him so I don't care if they really ever do anything else with him.
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Old 03-04-2013, 10:59 AM   #12
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I'm not sure why the internet decided to hate the guy all of a sudden simply because he makes throwaway barely-serious comments on Twitter in regards to not being used very often or about doing jobs
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Old 03-04-2013, 11:16 AM   #13
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I've got an even better idea. Zack Ryder comes out to the ring and cuts a shoot promo. He says "The likes of William Regal, HBK, and even Jim Ross had to join the Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass Club. Well tonight, I cement my legacy by topping them. Tonight, I'm joining the Vince McMahon Suck My Dick Club!" He then provides the chairman of the board with some fellatio. Zack then changes his name to Blowey Kardashian.
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Old 03-04-2013, 11:31 AM   #14
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That's not a very good idea, michael.
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Old 03-04-2013, 01:53 PM   #15
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Why not?
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Old 03-04-2013, 01:54 PM   #16
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He got his chance.

If he's not still being featured, I'm sure there's a good reason.

Fuck his whining.
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Old 03-04-2013, 02:09 PM   #17
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lol whining
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Old 03-04-2013, 02:18 PM   #18
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See now this is just absurd. How angry are we as a wrestling fan base about WWE maintaining the status quo, not building new stars, not rewarding effort and then we get a guy who's going out of his way to try to better himself and he gets labeled a whiner. What are we doing here folks?
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Old 03-04-2013, 02:22 PM   #19
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Zack Whiner
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Old 03-04-2013, 02:25 PM   #20
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TL DR.
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Old 03-04-2013, 02:27 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Supreme Olajuwon View Post
See now this is just absurd. How angry are we as a wrestling fan base about WWE maintaining the status quo, not building new stars, not rewarding effort and then we get a guy who's going out of his way to try to better himself and he gets labeled a whiner. What are we doing here folks?

I'm not angry about WWE maintaining status quo at all. I've loved seeing The Rock and Brock Lesnar come back to WWE, I love it every time Y2J comes back, I'm happy Triple H is back on tv and I hope Undertaker comes back tonight.

All I can hope for is Kevin Nash returns at some point.

Partying like it's 1999, baby.
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Old 03-04-2013, 02:40 PM   #22
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"The Mechanic" Zack Ryder could be a good gimmick for him.
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Old 03-04-2013, 02:55 PM   #23
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Jesus, he is a midcarder at best and he had his moment in the sun. Everyone should just be happy he isn't tagging with Robbie E in TNA.
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Old 03-04-2013, 03:01 PM   #24
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"The Mechanic" Zack Ryder could be a good gimmick for him.
Hell yeah, bubba.
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Old 03-04-2013, 03:43 PM   #25
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He could always be threatening to "check your oil".
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Old 03-04-2013, 03:46 PM   #26
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Or they could have him come out at the start of RAW and cut a promo where he could be all like "Change is coming".

Then, later on the show, they could cut backstage and show him changing some spark plugs and he could look into the camera and say "Change came".
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Old 03-04-2013, 03:48 PM   #27
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"Smarks" are so fucking fickle. You were -all- on the Ryder bandwagon back when he started his stupid youtube show and now you're all against him? How long 'till Ryback starts getting shit on? Oh wait that's starting too...

Ryder is definitely not World Title material, but he's a great mid-card face. The fans constantly shout "We want Ryder!" yet WWE refuses to send him out. Let the guy have the spot he's earned. Put him in the IC or US title picture so we can get some other matches besides Kofi vs Generic Heel.
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Old 03-04-2013, 04:21 PM   #28
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We had Zack as US champ already. And it was boring.
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Old 03-04-2013, 05:11 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wishbone View Post
"Smarks" are so fucking fickle. You were -all- on the Ryder bandwagon back when he started his stupid youtube show and now you're all against him? How long 'till Ryback starts getting shit on? Oh wait that's starting too...

Ryder is definitely not World Title material, but he's a great mid-card face. The fans constantly shout "We want Ryder!" yet WWE refuses to send him out. Let the guy have the spot he's earned. Put him in the IC or US title picture so we can get some other matches besides Kofi vs Generic Heel.
Lol when have they chanted that in the past 9 months. Just because he's worked hard doesn't mean he should be a champ. The WWE should just cut him and Punk. They are why ratings are terrible.
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Old 03-04-2013, 05:18 PM   #30
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Lol when have they chanted that in the past 9 months. Just because he's worked hard doesn't mean he should be a champ. The WWE should just cut him and Punk. They are why ratings are terrible.
They just chanted it a couple weeks ago on RAW you dingus. And I'd like to know how Ryder is hurting ratings if he's never on television. I won't even start on why you're wrong about the reason the ratings are dipping thing because that's a whole different topic, but seriously how does a guy hurt ratings when he's not featured at all?
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Old 03-04-2013, 05:53 PM   #31
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Ratings finally went up when Ryder was kept off TV and Punk dropped the belt. These vanilla midgets are killing the company and it's costing too much money in fabric to make t-shirts for Punk's XXXL fans.
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Old 03-04-2013, 06:21 PM   #32
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Quote:
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Ratings finally went up when Ryder was kept off TV and Punk dropped the belt. These vanilla midgets are killing the company and it's costing too much money in fabric to make t-shirts for Punk's XXXL fans.
Can't you at least come up with a new schtick? The "Punk is bad GRRR!" and "Basement dwelling virgin!" thing is getting stale as fuck. Ratings went up because it's wrestlemania season, nothing more. And in case you didn't notice the ratings haven't gone up all that much compared to other years passed. Looks like maybe Rocky and Lesnar aren't the ratings powerhouses you thought are they?
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Old 03-04-2013, 06:30 PM   #33
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Ratings were never as low as they were with Punk as champ. FACT. Punk's fans are morbidally obese: FACT, Punk fans would need to rape a small child to get laid: FACT.

This is why I'm the pulse of the WWE Universe.
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Old 03-04-2013, 06:35 PM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gertner View Post
Ratings were never as low as they were with Punk as champ. FACT. Punk's fans are morbidally obese: FACT, Punk fans would need to rape a small child to get laid: FACT.

This is why I'm the pulse of the WWE Universe.
Oh so things now become fact just because we put FACT in front of them?

FACT, I'm a millionaire!

FACT, I've got a beautiful french model for a girlfriend!

FACT, I live in a mansion on my own private island!

Holy shit dude this is awesome! Thank you so much for telling me this I'll never have to work another day in my life now!
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Old 03-04-2013, 06:40 PM   #35
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Old 03-04-2013, 06:41 PM   #36
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See, what I pointed out were truths. You're a Punk fan so it's obvious you're lying.

I think I'm the only honest person here.
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Old 03-04-2013, 09:02 PM   #37
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Aha! In an interview posted today, Ryder seemingly plays into this very gimmick change. Behold, "...Doing that last episode [of Long Island Iced Z] and watching it, I cried a lot. It was emotional." from URL:
http://www.tpww.net/2013/03/zack-ryd...er-slump-more/
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Old 03-04-2013, 10:05 PM   #38
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Ryder & Hawkins reunion in the tag division with Matt Striker as their mouthpiece.....that is all.....
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Old 03-05-2013, 02:46 AM   #39
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Ryder & Hawkins reunion in the tag division with Matt Striker as their mouthpiece.....that is all.....
Bingo.

I appreciate that Ryder is has gotten himself over and works hard, and he is a good talent, but over the years he hasn't really improved. The best matches I have ever seen from him are still his ECW bouts with Christian. His promo work also isn't that notable. The dude is really likeable, but if he's going to break any new ground, I think he needs to either get notably better or there needs to be some sort of change. Other than that, he can expect to stay where he is.

I'm all for Curt Hawkins and Ryder being paired together again post-WrestleMania. The WWE could always use some new blood in the tag team division, and as a permanent team, Ryder & Hawkins could actually get quite over and be quite useful.
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Old 03-05-2013, 02:53 AM   #40
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He was wearing tights that said "Push Me" on them on RAW. Bringing his frustrated gimmick onto TV could work. Have him throw tantrums after losing matches and thus turning heel..........

..... And then still losing all the time.
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