WWE RAW Captions (7-5-04)

[Azriel]

[Splaya]

[/QUOTE]



HHH: No Eugene, you don't understand, I retired Cactus Jack. There is no more Cactus Jack
Eugene: But Ric said he wa....

HHH: Nevermind what Ric said
Ric: BANG BANG!

HHH: Ric damn it, stop it.

[OssMan]

HHH: See that man? He's a homo.
Eugene: Him?
Flair: Me?

Eugene's first hang over.



Coach found out what the oriental think of the new YJ Stinger.

[IMGhttp://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/03.jpg[/IMG]

Y2J got a peek HHH's promos





Batista was not very happy when he found out he was not invited to Eugene's birthday partry.

[Gone Mad]

Time to take some ass and kick some names...


The glass ceiling was right for HHH but it thought otherwise.


How could Jericho and the crowd not laugh at the office and how it was able to injure HHH and Nash.


Eugene: And finally Sean, you will finally have a match and-- where'd he go?


HHH vs. HHH from 4 yrs. ago! Only on PPV! BAWGGAWDTHISOVERPLAYEDJOKEBARBEQUESAUSE!


Eugene and his other skill: The Ping Pong ball trick!


Can you guess who has talent in this picture? Because I'm still looking..


Worst. Psycho Crusher. Ever.

[Gone Mad]

Man,no love for the women. Look at where their complaint box is.


Venis: Cream filling?

French Guy: Nottt....now..!

Ref: Screw this HGA! I'm out to TNA!


The two reannacts the classic A-ha video, "Take on me."


Tomko: Nobody puts Baby in the corner!

Jericho: Damn it, green..I mean Tomko! That's Flair!

Flair: Woo?


Gravity finally catches up with Benoit as his levitation reverses on him and the belt crushes him.


HHH: Yeah-uh,he's the-uh one-uh who came up-uh with-uh cream-uh filling...uh!

Eugene: Former Inter-continental champion Val Venis?

Flair: WOO?


Eugene: Must crush writers! Must stop bad gimmick!

Benoit: Stop it,Nick, or you won't be World Champ next month!

Eugene: "SPOILERS"!!!


Batista: Damn it! I forgot to tape "Joe Schmoe 2"!

[Hired Hitman]

... hasn't this been on the last few raws

[Transplant]

Richard Simmons first act as GM was to make Rosey do 5 minutes of cardiobascular exercises.


Smackdown Rebound: JBL is THE NEW WWE CHAMP!


Ref: AHH! ROACH!


Eugene, the kindergarten bully, sent lil' Tony to get poor jeremy after he "lost" his repayments.


Edge: Damn, that zit is annoying! got some cream for it or something?



Matt: Jeff, Is that you? Whats happened to you? You've become bald and talentle.... I mean,your bald!


WWE presents the new "Barbie". Watch Barbie tear up the womens division with sidekick, Ken. Stocks are limited. Talent not included.


The Mid Match Mosh bugged the shit out of Ric.


CAUTION! BENOITSAURUS IS LOOSE!


Edge: What the hell am I suppose to do with an invisible box?


Benoit's reenactment of Jesus' Death

[Savio]

Edge: Where is my career going?

Inside the envolope was Jeff hardys auto-biography story, Ironicly It was very short and written in thrid person.

[Blue Demon]

[img]http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/09.jpg[/img

Kane (sitting up): Wait?!?! you saved how much on car insurance by switching to Geico?


[img]http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/23.jpg[/img]

This was hopefully the last time Benoit was placed in a match with Richards

[Blue Demon]

Kane: You saved how much by switching to Geico???




The Invisible Man 2: Richards Strickes Back

[Esoteric]

Edge : I swear my push was this big but where has it gone

Vince believed Orton needed a stronger gimmick so presenting....Issac Yankem Jr.

Matt: Wake up Kane
Kane:I had the worst dream JBL was WWE champion and Lita u and i were in a pregnancy storyline and and
Matt: Ummm that was not a dream
Kane: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[MVP]

The head of WWE's writing staff announces that Tyson Tomko and Jon Heidenreich will have a 60 minute Iron Man match tonight.



Coach should've learned his lesson the first time he tried to drink from the Tajiri fountain.



The superstars were forced to play a game of musical chairs to determine the #1 contender for the IC title.

"Oh wait...that's actually what happened."



WWE cut the budget on the Hi-Lite Reel set.



Sylvan was shocked to find that Rhyno's super glue was planted on Val Venis's crotch.



The ref thought he'd entertain the crowd by playing an invisible piano.



Hey anything beats Sean O'Haire's cage.



Battle of the Overrated Part 432746327856478.



Batista got creeped out when Kane started eating the rope.



As hard as they tried, Matt and Kane couldn't fight the teleporter any longer.



Each WWE contract comes with a full dental plan.



Jericho and Batista fell victim to the telepoter as well.



Jericho: "There's a penny underneath the ring mat."



Batista had a hard time going with so many people around.



The Kane/Lita porno suddenly started playing on the titantron.



The crowd's response to Disco Fever Batista was not warm.



Randy: "Have no fear Lois, the Man of Steel is here to save you."
Jericho: "What the hell are you talking about?"



Molly knew she couldn't compete with Gail Kim's pole dancing abilities.



Tomko: "There's a penny underneath the ring mat."



"Best of RAW Volume 1...."



Triple H: "See Benoit over there, he said that you're an overrated no-talent jackass who holds the rest of the roster down."
Eugene: "B...but he's my friend he'd never say that about me."
Triple H: "Yes he would. He also said that you're only at the top because you screwed Vince's daughter."
Eugene: "Isn't that you?"
Triple H: "N...no."




Chris Benoit does a kickass Kevin Nash impression.

[Mayo]

After fighting off initial laziness and more than an hour of painstaking thought, I present to you my captions:



"Yesh, I'll have a mahtini, shhaken, not schtirred."

Alas, poor WWE writers, Eugene tried his best in his new Sean Connery gimmick.


In yet another racial angle, now they have Tajiri as Godzilla trying to hold the black man down.


Jericho: I want the blue chair!
Tomko: No, I do!
Jericho: I DO!
Tomko: I DO!
Jericho: Fine, you baby!... Hey, who's that old guy?
Flair: 'Scuse me sonny, is this Big Bill's Bingo?


Jericho tried to be nice, but he loves to watch old people fall.


Worst. Heimlich maneuver. Ever.


Ref: Whoa guys, be careful. I paid $20 for that O'Haire statue, even though it's dead weight.
O'Haire: You're not telling me anything I don't already know.
Sylvan: Mon Dieu, it talks!
Conway: Sound the alarms!


It was yet another bad move by the WWE when they hired Lita to spellcheck the signs on everyone's office.


Both men lost every shred of dignity when Vince forced them to Eskimo kiss on national TV.


Batista: Dude, Kane has had that perverted grin on his face for an hour now with his hands in his pants, and he hasn't moved. Do you think he's okay?
Ref: Fucking idiot...


Matt: Stone Cold, wake up! I don't care what Vince says, we need a stupid untalented alcoholic redneck in the WWE!
Stone Cold:


Orton was going to force Jericho to learn Flair's money shot pose even if it killed him.


Batista shows some great enthusiasm during his money shot pose.


Not to be outdone by Batista, Jericho shows his best pose yet while waiting for Steven Richards' climax and performing HGA with Orton


Brock finally decided to kill Jericho after reading that he was gay in one of Joey Radd's news reports.

(I still love ya Joey )


The Ref was so bored during the submission hold that he practiced his Undertaker pose.


Jericho: No Randy, please, keep elevating me!!!


Batista wants the Heavyweight title so bad that he imitates JBL's goose stepping in Berlin.


Jericho had performed a terrific Tornado DDT, but thanks to Rhyno, Orton stayed on the ropes and got the cover.


Announcer: And the winner of the 'free breast implant maintenance for life coupon on a pole match' is...


Ref: Fuck Tomko, I didn't say powerslam, I said she looks like a man!
Tomko:


Lita: Guys, what are you so happy about?
Trish: Well let's just say that Tyson is a BIG problem solver. I mean he's so big that I suffered second degree burns on my right hand rubbing back and forth, isn't that right Tysie?
Tyson: BUH GUH!


HHH: *whispering* Yeah, see how Randy applies the chokehold, using the leverage to his advantage.
Eugene: *whispering* Oh, so its best to lean over your opponent as much as possible, that's a great tip.
Flair: *yelling* Hey guys, I'm a 16 time World Champion!!! I poured blood and sweat on the road day in and day out over my entire career to make the business what it is today! I'm Ric Flair dammit, so you BETTER let me in on your conversation or else...
*poops his pants*
UH-OH!


Scott Hall laughs watching at home as Benoit can't handle three beers before a match.


Benoit wasn't gonna let go. He wanted HHH to abolish his arachnaphobia by killing another spider on the mat.


Edge re-enacts the time that people actually cared about him by going for a tag with Christian.


The Raw production crew attempted to make live tv look like a video game by slow motioning all finishing moves for effect.


Eugene catches a jizzshot in the eye in Vince's newest creation, the "WE COME" contest.


Edge: Lighten up Eugene, it was only a manly sweaty passionate hug between two guys in tight spandex.


Eugene:


Hunter grabs at the giant mosquito zapper in an attempt to stop from being held down.


The Ref is such a prankster; he tied Benoit's feet to the turnbuckle after telling Benoit that he'd catch him.


Benoit: No Eugene, I wasn't trying to hug you, it was a German Suplex. Jesus, have you been hanging out with Brock lately?
Eugene: HOMO! KILL!!!


Eugene: So once wasn't enough, fagbag? TAKE THIS!


Eugene: Wow, I'm tired. Beating homo's all day makes you tired. Wait, what'd I say? KILL!!!


R.I.P. The Push of Chris Benoit, we thank you for all of the joy that you brought to us, and we hope that you enjoy your eternal rest in Canadian Midcard Hell. Amen.


HHH: That's a good boy Eugene. You looked great out there beating Benoit. Yeah, look at all that sweat dripping off your body.
*Eugene about to kill HHH*
HHH: Um, Eugene, here's your chance! Flair is the biggest fudgepacker in the WWE! KILL!
Flair: Yeah Benoit, you have no balls, and you've got a tiny little dink!
*Eugene demolishes Flair*
HHH: Heh, I still got it...

[Hired Hitman]

what the hell, the picture changed

[Savio]

???

[Mayo]

What picture changed?

[Favre4Ever]

Fist shot at doing captions!!!! Lets Rock 'em.



As Triple H serenaded Eugene with a ballad of "We are the Champions", Flair could not help but clap along to the beat.



As Dennis Miller picked up the chair, fans around the world got a first hand look at the worst WWE debut ever.



".......I could have sworn I parked my car RIGHT HERE."



Hardy: "Kane, wake up!!!! WAKE UP!!! Our flight leaves in thirty minutes!!!"

Kane: "Thirty minutes?!?! You IDIOT!!!!!!"



Sorry guys, but I can't resist.

JR: BAHGAWDEDGESPEAREDFLAIRRIGHTOUTOFHISBOOTSILLBEDAMNEDNOWAYSTUNNERTHEGAMEEUGENEBBQSAUCEBAHGAWD!!!!!!!

King: Spear to Flair.........



Benoit howled in rage. He'd looked everywhere, even under the ring steps, and STILL couldnt find where his push had gone.



Signs you know your push is fading: You sleep with your Title.



Jericho looked into Tomko's eyes. Music was playing, and Flair was dancing with an invisible stewardess. Would Tomko reject his advance?



Batista: "Batista ANGRY!!!!!!! BATISTA SMASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meh, not too bad for a first try.

[Corkscrewed]

Hilarious pictures... this will take me a while.

[loopydate]

FI-n'ly... The loop HAS COME BACK to... Ah, fuck it.



After a week-long bender in Atlantic City, Eric Bischoff showed up to RAW a little worse for wear.



You would think that by now Tajiri would know how to hold his sake.



Needless to say, Jericho and Tomko were a bit reluctant to try out the new LoveToilet...



...at first.



The SpikeTV censors were quick to cover up The Ref With A Penis For An Arm.



The new ref was ecstatic. He'd only been around a couple of months, and he was already getting a game of London Bridge!



VINCE: Well, now that O'Haire is loose, we need to find a new use for that cage...



It's nice to see WWE still has a flair for making vases.



Just like Bubba Dudley's senton or Victoria's moonsault, Kane always misses the Rafter Banzai Drop.



After accidentally killing Kane, Matt knew that the only way to fix this was...The Butterfly Effect!



HHH: Dammit! I said I wanted a silver platter!



Using his powers of matter manipulation, Jericho managed to slip unfazed through the spot once occupied by the ringpost.



You wouldn't think Randy would no-sell a hand through the chest. Of course, he did learn from the best.



Jericho's gravity-defying spear was still a wonder to behold.



Dave took it pretty hard when he heard they were out of chocolate cake.



That's right, kids. Your mom was right. If you make a face, it will freeze that way.



Dave's burgeoning Broadway career meant that he sometimes had to rehearse in inappropriate places.



Best. Chopblock. Ever.



Is it just me, or did they used to try harder to keep the Oscar ballots secret?



REF: Psst, Nidia. Ever been teabagged by a zebra?



Trish and Tyson can barely stifle a laugh after Lita asked if they had "come soffee."



HHH: Seriously, Ric, it's right there.
EUGENE: Oh, you mean that?
RIC: I don't see it.
EUGENE: Oh, man, now that I see it, I can't believe I missed it before.
HHH: I know! It's so obvious.
RIC: What the hell are you pointing at?
HHH: That! I can't believe you don't know what we're pointing at.
RIC: Goddammit, what are you pointing at?!?



Chris Benoit's new Doctor Octopus gimmick might have worked better if they'd given him cooler arms.



Triple H would go to desperate measures to avoid tapping out ever again, but no one expected him to amputate his own right arm!



EDGE: Chris! Tag m--
Clunk
EDGE: WTF? It's like there's some kind of Glass Wall...



This photograph proves that, yes, Edge does throw the best damned supersonic spear in the business.



Eugene's Stephanie impression was always a big hit at parties.



EDGE: I'm coming, Eugene. Just hang o--
Clunk
EDGE:



Just as happened to his former tag team partner Conway, Eugene was enraged when some bastard stole his pants!



It was bad enough that Trips was no-selling the German Suplex, did he have to do his pose in mid-air?



HHH: Hehehe... Works every time.



EUGENE: Aisha was not a better Yellow Ranger than Trini! You take that back!!!



Eugene blew his match-ending spot when he decided that he'd rather play Invisible Whack-A-Mole.



Eugene doubled over with laughter. The ref just passed out from the hilarity. What a joker that Benoit was! And how long would it be until Triple H realized he had a giant metallic penis glued to the side of his head?



The double-pin finish between Benoit and Belty drove the last three WWE fans away.



Flair's John Cena impression...made Eugene sad.

[Corkscrewed]

Unfazed by last week's failure, Eugene uses The Force this week and succeeds in convincing the audience that recent storylines have been well-thought-out and exciting.


Tajiri didn't take too kindly when Mountain Dew unveiled their version of the low-carb soda.


Hilarity ensues after a random fan throws a football at Ric Flair's groin. The footage later wins an Academy award for Best Picture.


Representing the underused wrestlers backstage, Jericho was only too glad to stage a sitdown strike for better storylines.


Seeing Grenier down and out, the ref decides to give him the fastest low five in history.


True Disney addicts, La Resistance was so enraged upon seeing someone holding an "Eisner Is God" sign that they decided to hurl a Val Venis at the offending fan.


And now, the WWE Vault takes you back to the principle's office at Lita's elementary school...

OR

When Eugene found himself stuck to the side of bounce house, he learned the hard way not to let Rhyno set up inflatable play pens.


Edge was furious. How dare Hunter have a bigger nose than he!


Ref: "What's wrong with him?"
Batista: "He's been like that ever since the Lita pregancy storyline."
Ref: "Really? Wow."
Batista: "Yeah. Just sits there all day, watching Maury Povich. That's all he does."
Ref: "Such a shame... and he was really such a nice boy before, too."


Matt: "Inigo Montoya! They've shot you!!!"
Kane: ....
Matt: "Who did this to you????"
Kane: ....
Matt: "SPEAK TO ME!!!!"
Kane: ....
Matt: "DAMN YOU SIX FINGERED MAN!!!"


When you didn't use Listerine, the consequences were quite severe.


Jericho was expecting to be rammed into the ring post, but to his surprise, it wasn't there!


Ref: "Hmmm... you butt could use some liposuction. And those thighs are looking a bit pudgy..."
Jericho: "Not... the... time!"


Jericho was this close to the licorice when the traction beam caught hold of him and Randy.


When Batista found out Brock Lesnar had murdered his Fab Five friends from Queer Eye, he was devastated.


...as was Jericho. Now who would style his gorgeous blond hair?

OR

Geez, Chris, you know there are laxatives to relieve that type of pressure.


Caught up in the moment, Batista tried to fire a laser beam from his palm toward an annoying, heckling fan, but to no avail. His armpit, crotch, and knee lasers, however, were functioning just fine.


Jericho's career hit a new low when he was pinned by a toppled Randy Orton Gargoyle.


It was a furious race, but Nidia finally won the Contract to Avoid Having to Give Vince a Blow Job for One Month on a Pole derby.


Ref: "Wow, how did you knock Nidia out just like that?"
Trish: "I just told her JBL was WWE champ."


Trish smiled, glad that her Tae Bo instructor was helping her shed pounds. Meanwhile, Lita racked her brain, trying to figure out how "ae" could make a long "i" sound.


Evolution had their prey down and ready for the kill. Now it was up Eugene to finish the job and administer the Touch of Death. Weeieerrrrrrrr!!!!


Recent news that his good friend and one of the best wrestlers in the world had jobbed to a drunken redneck Nazi was enough to make Benoit's head spin.

OR

Tired of being underused and constantly put on Heat, Chuck Palumbo decides to sabotage RAW with a horde of banana peels.


"Salute the Nazis will you now, Layfield??? Some of my best friends are Jews!!! DIIEEEEE!!!!"


Showing early signs of Litas Disease, Edge botches walking through the ring ropes.


"This is for insulting Mick Foley! The best wrestler of all time!!!"

OR

Ric Flair proves that the new and improved Space Mountain ride is so intense it frazzles time itself!


Placing banana peels under a main eventer is one thing, but Eugene? He's just a kid!


"DAMN THAT PALUMBO!!!"


Edge didn't fare too well in the Invisible Watermelon Carrying Championships.


HHH no sells Benoit's German by pretending he is on a roller coaster ride.


Hunter's plan backfired when his Benoit=shaped crucifix accidentally fell from the rafters and landed on him.


"Stop, Eugene! You've been possessed by the Spirit of Brock Lesnar! And for the last time, I'm not gay!!!"


Tragedy strikes when Eugene mistakes Benoit for Chuck Palumbo and exacts revenge for the banana peels.


No one was safe from the wake of destruction when the HunterCentaur went berserk.


In a feat that has never been repeated again, Chris Benoit wins the World Title despite wrestling while asleep!


Triple H tries to console Eugene after Flair's horrific botching of John Cena's "World Life" pose.

[Mayo]

Originally Posted by Corkscrewed Matt: "Inigo Montoya! They've shot you!!!" Kane: .... Matt: "Who did this to you????" Kane: .... Matt: "SPEAK TO ME!!!!" Kane: .... Matt: "DAMN YOU SIX FINGERED MAN!!!"

Both the "who shot you?" and the Princess Bride gags never get old.

[Corkscrewed]

Oh damn, loopy, we came up with the same captions on a few of those!

Nice to have you back, buddy. Haven't missed a beat.


EDIT: Mayo, nice to see someone picked up on both. Nowhere Man's original Inigo Montoya caption with Kane stalking Shane remains one of the classic captions in history.

[Eternalone79]

No fair...you cheated and I'm telling my mommy!!!

[Eternalone79]

[IMG]http--raw.wwe.com-results-070504-images-15.jpg[/IMG] I'm telling Mommy you cheater!!!!

[Savio]

Gang cum shots are the worst.

[parkmania]

Tajiri: And then, Rinda Brair's head spun around, and then her pea soup went rike this...
Coach: EWWWW! GROSS!!!

The WWE finally proved that their writers had worked on Scooby-Doo when they revealed that Chris Benoit was actually... ZACH GOWEN!!!!

Eugene: I SAID, SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM, DAMMIT!

Eugene: WAAAAAH!
HHH: Come on, Eugene. I've got some Slim Jim's in the locker room. We'll get back at Benoit some other time.
Ric: And to think, I was THIS close to retiring a couple months ago...

[big_bluto]

Let's see what the captions say this week.........

Vote in the Mod Elections!
You're vote counts!
Where Am I?



Green Semen: Further proof that Vince is an Alien



Jericho: One of us better give that old guy a seat.
Tomko: Yeah, it looks like his hips gonna give out any time.




Jericho enjoying a rare moment of victory.


Val: I've got him pinned, now spam him right on the forehead!


WWE botches Limbo


They nearly forgot to change the sign from WWE Creative!


Battle of the Mods: Loose Cannon v Dave Youell
You decide!



I swear I don't know what happened to the Reverend D'Von money!
Ask Deacon Batista!



Jericho: what are you guys doing?!
Orton: Wet Willie submission.
Ref: Checking out your package.
Jericho: ......just pin me now.


Jericho: Don't drop me on the glass ceiling! It's won't support my weight....well, well, what'da'ya know!


Batista calling for a refund after the Great American Bash.


Jericho captured the missing legs of Rikishi.
Chris: Find the torso quickly, the ass end stinks!


That Idiot Dave. He'd been warned not to wear that WWF Kneepad!


Orton's push was getting ridiculous now.
He didn't even have to fully enter the ring, before the pin was getting counted.



While Trish celebrated, the ref explained that Oceans 12 was a follow up to Oceans 11, but there weren't another 10 before that.


Lita slept with Kane and Matt, but Tyson's grin showed they weren't the only ones!
More to the point, why was Trish grinning, and where can we get the video?


HHH: Where?
Eugene: There!
Flair: Where on the stair?
Eugene: Right there!
HHH: A little mouse with clogs on?
Eugene: There I declare!
Flair: Going clip, clippety-clop on the stairs!
Eugene: Right there!


WWE would like to issue a product recall on the following product:
Rabid Wolverine Chris Benoit Action Figure

When used in proximity to HHH figure, the benoit action figure has a tendency to fall over, and may injure small children.
Please return to the retail outlet you purchased from where a full refund will be given.

*please note that WWE accepts no responsibility for broken characters, storylines, or poor quality products.


HHH: I know I asked how long we had to go, but I can't read your watch this close!
Benoit: Just shut up and rub my nuts!


Who says white men can't jump?


Eugene misses the tag to Edge.

Edge: Hoi! Twat! I'm over here!



Loose Cannon is gonna win the mod vote by this much!


VOTE DAVE YOUELL, YOU BASTARD!


HHH's pants started to eat the head of Chris Benoit before the pedigree even started. What's up with the world?


HHH: Chris, get down from there.
Benoit: I'm Mysterioooooooooooooo!


Benoit: Hey! Flair's already left the ring. Now put the chair away like you were asked to!



Benoit: Eugene. Put The Chair Away! I'm busy!


HHH's head-eating pants were still doing the trick, but the ref was still bored by the same old, same old, same old.


Matt: Come on, Kane. You can't sleep here.
Kane: HHH....boring....must sleep.



Wake me when the mod result is in, will you?


Flair: So close....
HHH: I know.... Bluto's captions were crap.
Eugene: sob...sob
HHH: Don't be too upset. There's always Smackdown!
Eugene: Waaahhhhh!!!!!

[Nark Order]

I'M A HOMO!!

...Which is why I'm pointing to the people in the ring. I'm wrong. Get it? It's funny..... Does anybody believe that I'm retarded yet?


Tajiri shows the Coach his unusual talent of being able to pass his bodily gases through his mouth instead of his rear end.


Ric: WOOOOOOOO!
*Strutting Ric*
Jericho: Ric, you lost.
Ric: WOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*Ric still strutting*
Tomco: No, really Naitch. You've been eliminated.
Ric: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


Jericho was happy and smiling until all of a sudden his head was impailed by a maniacal ring rope, hired by none other than the WWE logo.


Ref: .....1!
Val: Come on! Escape from mid-card. Escape from mid-card. Escape from mid card.
Ref: ......2!!
Val: Almost there! I can smell the fame! Escape!!!
*kickout*
Val: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!


Conway is dazed as the Venis Butt Trap stealthfully makes its move.


Edge: Ha! I have your shovel!
HHH: I have other ways of burying people...


Kane, knowing that he is at a strength disadvantage, starts doing sit ups to even the match up.


After taking some junior college courses on the art of plastic surgery, Hardy goes to work with no real purpose in mind.


Orton holds Jericho still as that doctors try to work with the gigantic tumor coming out the top of his head.


To Batista surprise, Jericho's body absorbed the ring post upon impact.


This match was rather difficult for Jericho; not only did he have to deal with Randy Orton, but he also had to worry about the referee and his history of sexual assaualt.


Orton shows that he is not just an amatuer by launching Jericho into the second row.


Fans found it rather Ironic at first that HHH accepted an ape into a group labeled 'Evolution'.


Jericho's new 'transvesitite' gimmick was a little shaky at first but after applying the "Anal Tamer", fans soon gained respect for the stilletto heels and lipstick.


Orton uses the refs sick fantasies to his advantage as he poses Jericho into provacative positions.


The WWE logo desperately tries to escape but the ref restraions it with his teeth.

Ref: If I have to sit through it, so do you.


Trish: Look, I'm the statue of Liberty.
Tomco: I have no charisma.


Tomco:.....
Trish:........
Lita:............I'm horrible.
Tomco: Yep
Trish: Yep.


HHH: Now all you have to do is is put Benoit in the Sharpshooter.
Eugene: What if he doesn't tap?
HHH: See that funny looking bald man in the striped shirt over there?...


Lita's case of "botcheritis" was indeed contagious.


HHH: What the hell? Aren't I supposed to be burying you?
*Benoit pulls harder*
HHH: Arghhh!!


He's a homo???


Edge's spear disrupts the entire space/time continuem and they sucked into a land where Sean O'Haire and Ultimo Dragon are living happily with a belt on every part of thier body.

HHH: WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIS PLACE?!?!


The WWE took this gimmick a bit too far when Eugene started asking to get his diaper changed in the middle of matches.


After years of ridicule and despair, Eugenes muscles start to ripple; tranforming him into the mighty Collossus.


As the invisible crucix starts to lift Benoit into the air, HHH gets jealous.

HHH: I'm Jesus, damnit!


Benoit: Aw how cute, look at the little retarded kid playing with the cha...
*Knocked out cold*


Ready. Set. Bury!


Benoit faints at the thought of actually getting some credibility in the future.

[Corkscrewed]

LMAO at the Mod Vote gags!

[Savio]

The WWE re-acts the way Mary-Kate Olsen is fed.

[Mayo]

Originally Posted by big_bluto WWE would like to issue a product recall on the following product: Rabid Wolverine Chris Benoit Action Figure When used in proximity to HHH figure, the benoit action figure has a tendency to fall over, and may injure small children. Please return to the retail outlet you purchased from where a full refund will be given. *please note that WWE accepts no responsibility for broken characters, storylines, or poor quality products.

Don't fret, bluto. This caption had me laughing

[PorkSoda]

Jericho: Tomko, if you could fight anybody from the past, who would it be?
Tomko: Like an historic figure?
Jericho: Sure.
Tomko: I'd fight Ghandi
Jericho: I'd fight Lincoln.
Tomko: Good choice. Big guy, big reach, skinny guys fight till they're burger, huh?
Jericho: Yep. Hey......there's Ghandi crossing the street!



(Seconds Before)
Coach: Mae Young looked like the sandman at the Royal Rumble Swimsuit Competition!



Batista: BAD DOG! BAD DOG! (Thinking) Maybe I should have fed him Kibbles n Bits....



Jericho: OH YEAAAAAH!



"Stupid Ropes....They're tight....damnit....how can I squeeze through this thing?"

[Batsu]

Originally Posted by gonMad00 Worst. Psycho Crusher. Ever.

LMFAO!!

[Batsu]

Tajiri always makes sure to spit the SCOPE out after gargling.

[HeartBreakMan2k]

No caption, but is it just me or does Chris look like Page right there?

Eugene: For my next trick I'm going to make Lita job to A-Train for the main event.


The Buzz Saw hates Coach's game of try to make gun symbols with you two fingers.


Jericho just laughed at Stacie's song on WWE Originales.


Hey don't laugh, this is what his house looks like to.


Edge: So what do you think my chances are of a push?
HHH (saying to himself in his head): You don't have to answer that Game, he knows very well that will only happen if jobs to me.


The crowd was in shock after the saw Y2J's yellow teeth.




JR: BAH GAWD MAY YOUNG JUST PULLED WHATS HER FACE OFF THE TOP ROPE.


Mean while we go backstage only to find Lita takeing an eye Test and Tyson and Trish just stand there smileing for hald an hour.


This is what happens when you say no to Flair takeing you out to Dinner at the McDonalds drive throw.

[/QUOTE]
Eugene: WAAAAAAAAA!!!!
HHH: What happened??
Eugene: Booker T
HHH: What did he do?
Eugene: He called me names.
HHH: What did he call you?
Eugene: He called me dog.

[PorkSoda]

Narrator: And then the brave Prince will find Lita lying on her bed. He moves the curtains over and...
Matt Hardy: LITA! LITA! I'M THE BRAVE PRINCE......what the....
Kane: What?!?!?
Matt Hardy: Lita? What happened, you spend an evening with Micheal Jackson or something?



Batista's having a good time driving his invisible car.

[Vastardikai]

It's the V. If any of these are copied, too bad.



JR: Bah Gawd! Jake "The Snake" has escaped from the Betty Ford Clinic Again! and he is back on RAW! May God Have Mercy on our WWE Souls!



Much to the chagrin of Coach, Tajiri discovers that JBL is the WWE Champion



Ric Flair does the Robot as Chris and Generic Tattooed Green Hoss start their Sabu move lookalike contest.



Chris: Hey, which camera am I supposed to face?

Cameraman: Right in front of you.

Chris: Yeah right, like I'd believe that.



Val: And this shape is a butterfly!



The Official La Resistance/Val Venis Stone Henge Monolith didn't get over with the crowd.



Eugene: Tom Hanks, eat your heart out!



Edge seemed a little too enthusiastic about Meeting Triple H.



Stevie's springboard swandive Headbutt to the groin was a sight to behold, even for Batista.



Matt struggles to pull Jeff from the dimensional portal in Kane's elbow pad.



Generic Hygene Film Voice: There is a right way, and a WRONG WAY to check for boogers...



Batista: What do you think?

Chris: Just what I wanted, an Invisible Ring Post



Chris: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Randy: It's just a rest hold, dude.

Chris: I know that, but you're standing on my hand!



Having to job to him was bad enough, but Chris wondered why Randy had to cop a feel every couple of seconds, too.



Batista, the Generic Tattooed Green Hoss that he is, botches stifling a yawn.



Randy: Did I ever tell you about the time I saw Big Show and Rikishi skinny dipping?

Chris: Dammit! That's just wrong!



Batista can't help, he has to come into the ring...

Batista: Randy, you need to be in the ropes to hook Chris in the Tarantula...



The Secret behind Orton's Push: He is the world's hardest Limbo Pole.



Molly: Give me my lunch back!

Nidia: You can't have it!



Tyson looks at the damage done and sighs. He knew he shouldn't have botched giving Trish some deodorant.



Trish: Look at how pathetic she is: She even botches being a Generic Tattooed Green Hoss

Tyson: That's funny! :botches a smile:

Lita: I gate you huys.



Eugene and Hunter can't help but notice that Ric Flair's dog crapped the ring again...



Being the Technical Wrestling God that he is, Benoit takes out the attacking Stevie Richards, Capoera-style.



He's even able to do a face trade with Triple H!

Ref: That's amazing!



Edge: That Frank Castle guy was right: Holding this invisible 8 lb. Personnel mine with an outstretched arm IS quite a workout!



Edge's spear, in conjunction with Flair not wearing a shirt, often causes tears in the space-time continuum.



Eugene: Wrestling Re...Special Needs Person, and one helluva break dancer!



Edge: This is the biggest Angus Steak Burger...EVER!



Apparrently, someone told the Macho Man about how easy Elizabeth was...



Sometimes, Hunter needs help getting down from the invisible Chin-up Bar.



This is why you should never have an invisbile ship with a Wolverine that is NOT invisible...



Benoit: Eugene, I told you: I am NOT Rob Van Damm

Eugene: Shut up and give the giant Stevie Richards a Van Damminator!



Benoit cringes at the thought of what Eugene is doing to that chair...



Even Eugene and the ref are sick of seeing the Pedigree.



Benoit practices for Vengence



Eugene: Ric ate the last of my Angus Steak burger!

Hunter: It's ok, Eugene. Here, I'll give you a kiss, ok?

[Raising Kane]

Eh. No inspiration this week. These suck


Eugene after an Evolution party...
Eugene: I'm telling HHH! You touched my no no spot!


An important lesson kids:

Never ever have a shamrock shake before playing musical chairs.


Jericho: Ha! They didn't tell you guys that the losers have to bend over for HHH for the next month.


No one was suprised that when the pump broke, Vince asked HHH to inflate Eugene's office with all his excess hot air. They were only suprised that it took him at least ten minutes to fill it.


HHH: It's time for your nap.
Edge: But I don't want to take a nap.
HHH: If you don't take one, you won't be able to perform at your best.
Edge: Dude, if that's true, you need the nap much more than I do.


Batista: Man what's wrong with Kane?
Ref: He woke up from his nap and found out the Lita angle wasn't just a nightmare. Poor guy.


Batista took exception to Jericho's rendition of "If your happy and you know it..."


But Daddy!!! I don't want to take a nap!


Jericho wasn't happy when Orton told him that when he wears red lipstick he bears a remarkable resemblance to Stephanie.


I swear guys. Orton told me it swelled up THIS big. I didn't believe him until I actually saw HHH's head myself.


Who took my cookies?!


It wasn't me! I don't even LIKE cookies!


I'll get you Benoit. I saw the crumbs on your chin! NO ONE steals my cookies!


Benoit was so good about taking his mandatory nap, he didn't notice HHH trying to sneak in and steal the title belt.


Flair: See you guys. It's only this big.
Eugene: That's a lie. I saw it. It's THIS big. It scares me.
HHH: Eugene we are talking about my nose, not my head.
Eugene crying: So was I!