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Old 01-02-2004, 03:51 AM   #1
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WWE SmackDOWN! Captions [1-1-2004]
It's a new year, so lets start off the captions with a bang with my best batch ever!!!! (well, probably not, but whatever).



The Japanese always did enjoy jello shots off the back.


Brian Hebner kicked off 2004 with another case of biased abuse of power, using Tajiri to hold Mysterio in place as the ref slapped the luchador silly.


In the spirit of the Mile High Club, Tajiri and Mysterio form their own Six Feet Above the Apron Club.


The poor Japanese never get a break. They already have Godzilla to worry about, and now, even superheroes like Spiderman are starting to push them around!


Tajiri would not stop until he had sucked in the souls of every SmackDOWN! referee in the building.


The good news was that Rey had just won the Cruiserweight Title. The bad news was that Vince, afraid a small guy might get too popular, had let loose a black parasitic ringworm that was now burrowing itself into Rey's chest.


(Wow, so many ways you could go with this one.)
Rey was really concerned when Big Show unveiled the new company banner, which read: "The only ones who will get pushed are the BIGG."

Somewhere in the back, from a dark, locked room, Sean O'Haire screamed, "LIARS!!!"


Since no one got him an Ortonbot over Christmas, Big Show decided to get a Rey Mysterio Life Size Squeeze Toy for himself.


It's sad that Holly has to rely on Mysterio's pops to get any reaction from the fans at all now.


Bradshaw looked far at the flaming thing crashing to the ground. Yup, that was Rhyno's career all right.


This was just great. Tonight was going to be the night that Nunzio unveiled his new sexy silk wrestling trunks, and Palumbo and Stamboli just had to wear the exact same types at the same time as well!


Benoit: "Um, John, your nose has a leak."


Cena would have been more focused on the match had it not been for the Jehovah's Witness praying for him at the lower right corner.


Who'da thought we ever see the day when someone was carrying Benoit in a match?


Cena hoisted the sacrifice in preparation for the Altar of Helmsley while a referee-priest did his worshipping as part of the ceremony.


Benoit wasn't sure if Shanniqua wanted the jaw or the whole mouth this time, so he figured it'd be best to just rip off the whole head to bring back to her.


Angle paused mid-promo when he spotted a sign that said "Milk Sucks!"


You know you're a worthless bitch when even the Big Show starts pimp slapping you around.


Ever the nice guy, Big Show covered up Holly's ears when the boos started kicking in. This way, maybe Bob would think the fans were cheering him.


Heyman was obviously irritated when, for the sixtieth time, Dawn suggested rehashing the old Al Wilson love angle.


Pushed or not pushed, NO ONE could beat Chris Benoit in Thumb War.


Eddie Guerrero wasn't too shabby either, plus he could do it with style!


Eddie Guerrero's heel turn began when he stopped and forced everyone in the arena to listen to the Mexican National Anthem, Bret Hart style (except with Mexico, not Canada ).


Nick Patrick: "Hey, you lost your Precious that was tied to this string!"
Eddie (Smeagol style): "Not listening! Not listening!"


Chavo had obviously gotten a concussion, as evidenced when he confused Charlie Haas with another blond-haired WWE Superstar and assumed The Hunter Position (#2).


Chavo: "Eddie, what the heck are you doing still pointing at your knees??? That running caption gag went out months ago!!!"


Chavo: "No, ERES homosexual!"

OR

Chavo's new Latino Hulk Hogan gimmick wasn't starting off so well.


Ever the man of many skills, Angle shot a plasma orb at Eddie to knock him out and calm him down.


This message was immediately followed by a second screen that read: "...to those of you who aren't being buried this year. If you are, oh well."
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Old 01-02-2004, 04:05 AM   #2
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JR: he is rapping him like a governing mule
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Old 01-02-2004, 04:31 AM   #3
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Heyman: "Holy God, Dawn, I swear that you give the world's best hand-" *dies*
Dawn: "Yesssss! Still got it!"
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Old 01-02-2004, 04:44 AM   #4
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The cruiserweights of Smackdown were now getting buried even deeper... In each others asses.


Tajiri look at Hebner in shock when he saw him getting sucked into a UFO


Poor Hebner was the test subject of an alien experiment. He came back with only hald his arm


Tajiri didnt know what to do when Rey randomly decided to sing the Oompa Loompa song.


Sakoda thought he was stoned when he started seeing spirits coming out of Tajiris mouth


The crowd was horrified when they found out that Rey still had his umbilicle cord.
(I think i've used that before)


Show was rewarded for doing a good promo with his microphone shaped beef jerky.


Hey, you'd look like Big Show too if Rey Mysterio wanted to hump your arm


Bob signals to Show that Rey hasnt hit puberty in his armpits yet.


The ref didnt know what to do when Bradshaw howled "...AND THATS AN ORDER"


This was Nunzios reaction when the video crew showed highlights of Little Guido.
"Damn, was I THAT bad?"


Benoit couldnt help but stare at Cena's huge zit


Stamboli was an animal unleashed when he found out it was John Cena who shaved his hair off when he was sleeping.


The refs hand wasnt the first thing that got sucked up Benoits rectum


Ref: Hail, John Cena, carrier of poor WCW wrestlers.


what this photo didnt see was the "I Hate Black People" on Benoiys leg. However, the white guy standing outside the ring thoughts he should run like ****


Kurt: Yeh, I got this medal 8 years ago, but pushes dont work the same way in the olympics.


Show: STOP STEALING MY PUSH


Holly was in pain when he realised Show thought his arm was more Jerky


Dawn was always happy when other people gave Heyman head


Benoit had had enough of everybodys "pull my finger" jokes


Eddie knew he was next to job to HHH


Yes Eddie, your heart does beat


Crowd: We Want the lWo


Eddie, couldnt help the urge, he had to masturbate over Haas right there and then.


Chavo: I never hit puberty either


Chavo: Why do YOU get the third nipple?


Kurt was first to feel Eddies nipple


Smackdown commemerates Eddie by making a picture of his nipple on the "Happy New Year" sign
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Old 01-02-2004, 09:43 AM   #5
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Tajiri-I see Rey's underpants.


Brian Hebner- You put your hand in, you put your hand out...


Insert gay joke


Rey- catch me!


Tajiri is now workin on his new gimmick... Reptile! Let Mortal Kombat begin.


Rey celebrates his win and then he turns in horror...He also sees Shaniqua's strudel.


The introduction of the "Ambiguously gay trio"


Show- You want a push? You got it.


Luckily they kept the picture above the waist.


Eddie Guerrero becomes the next superhero saving people.
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Old 01-02-2004, 10:09 AM   #6
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Charlie- Chavo, that is not an unusual growth... That's your penis.
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Old 01-02-2004, 10:24 AM   #7
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SOME things NEVER change....
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Old 01-02-2004, 02:33 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Corkscrewed

Tajiri would not stop until he had sucked in the souls of every SmackDOWN! referee in the building.
Caption of the Year!
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Old 01-02-2004, 02:57 PM   #9
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Rey laughed. Tajiri actually believed that his back tattoo was one of those "Magic Eye" puzzles.



That's not Rey's leg...



The first-ever Cruiserweight Totem Pole Match was a major success.



You know what's scary about Rey Mysterio's balance? This is a video clip!



Sakoda had been busted open. And Tajiri didn't like blood.



Rey was happy that he had won the match, but was ECSTATIC that Tazz had bought him an iPod! AND he downloaded Big Show's greatest hits on it for him.



Rey could almost SEE the performance.



Reason #85 for not buying an iPod...



While Holly raised Mysterio's arm with his right hand, he used his left to subtly point the direction the ratings have gone since his main-event feud started.



Domo arigato, Mister Roboto!



It was bad enough that Vince couldn't tell them apart, but did he have to dress them all alike and call them Los Jobberinos I-III?



John "Kool-Aid Fountain" Cena prepared for tag-team action.



Jobberino III applied his finisher: the Dreaded Rear Chinlock.



Gimme a "T!"



Cena brought Jobberino II into the ring to add to the eventual Mid-Card Jobber Bonfire. Nothing like a little ethnic cleansing to start the new year.



Chris Benoit, ever helpful, saw that Jobberino III's face had come loose and started to slide it back into place.



ANGLE: I would like to take this opportunity to announce my involvement in the 2004 Olympic team. That's right, Angle on the balance beam in '04!



Big Show does wrestling fans the world over a favor by eating Hardcore Holly.



Holly had coated himself in a laxative and managed to...escape.



Dawn thought that Paul was being a gentleman for not staring at her chest. She didn't know there was a mirror on the ceiling over the couch...



PAUL: No! It didn't go "Wee wee wee" all the way home!
CHIRS: Prove me wrong!



Eddie's face shows what he thought of the whole "Forcing La Resistance to recite the Pledge of Allegiance" angle from a few weeks ago on RAW.



Eddie had heard it all before. "Don't leave your dental floss on the turnbuckles, Eddie..."



Charlie stood and stared. Did Chavo really think he had heat vision and could burn his crotch?



Eddie didn't mind holding Shelton's hand and helping him across the ring, but did he HAVE to sing Whitney Houston songs while they did it?



Eddie turns BIG-TIME heel with one quick kick to his nephew's nuts.



Chavo was so stupid. Eddie wouldn't buy the "You've got something on your shirt" routine. He was topless!



KURT: Don't get mad! I just asked if I could have some of your hair!



Paid for by the "Keep HHH On Top At All Costs Society."
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Old 01-02-2004, 02:58 PM   #10
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Well, thanks, but I thought that a lot of my other captions were better.
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Old 01-02-2004, 03:54 PM   #11
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Here's my Booker T impression!!
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Old 01-02-2004, 09:30 PM   #12
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Oh God, these are hilarious. Somebody give me some links with these captions.
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Old 01-03-2004, 12:18 AM   #13
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Just scroll through the pages of this forum and look for "RAW Captions" or "Smackdown Captions."
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Old 01-03-2004, 03:31 AM   #14
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When Stupid Noobs Attack:



Distraught over being smaller than Lance, Val Venis had to beg for Rey's mask so he could hide his head in shame...



Stolen Gimmick Alert: The Ref tells the teacher on Tajiri, who's trying to steal Rey's boot.



The Ref had to inform Rey that the Micheal Jackson angle isn't to occur until NEXT week.



Rey: I mean it, Tajiri, Undertaker used to walked the top rope JUST LIKE THIS!



"Hey Stan.... EEEW!"



Little did Rey realize that the symbiote he found while fighting in the Secret Wars was trying to take over!



Rey: "Bigg" wasn't a bad Tom Hanks movie. I preferred "Saving Private Ryan," myself!



Paul reveals that he has never been too fond of Matt Damon.



Rey was saved when the Ringmaster climbed out of a Time Machine to attack the Big Show.



Having accomplished his mission of burying a Superstar that was talented, Bradshaw saluted General Helmsley.



Nunzio is disgusted with Rhyno's fate, as the rest of the FBI know that they are next...



Benoit: John, have you seen my Football Jersey?

Cena: Um...er...no!



Jibroni FBI Member: John, Have you seen my denim shorts?

Cena: Um...er...no!

Jibroni FBI Member: YOU LIE!!!!



The Jibroni FBI Member enlists Benoit's help in finding his missing shorts, but to no avail.



When Piggyback Rides go horribly wrong...



The Ref informs Chris that Saddam has agreed to talk, and that the torture is no longer necessary.



An impromptu sign informs Kurt that his fly is open...



Show reacts to Bob calling him a Casket Surfing moron.



Show, feeling sorry for him, covers Bob's ears so that he doesn't have to hear the indifference thrown his way.



Dawn Marie didn't know much about College Football, but she knew ALOT about the Trojans.



Benoit: I want the money you owe me, and I want it NOW!

Paul: Take a number and get in line

For some reason, Chris didn't take very kindly to that remark...



Shelton: I believe in a thing called Love...psst Eddie, can you help me with the High Notes?

Eddie: Sure thing!



Eddie discloses his opinion of what Creative has done with the US Title.



Nick Patrick's rendition of the Alanis Morrisette hit "You Ought To Know" doesn't go over very well with Eddie.



Charlie looks at Chavo on his knees, completely oblivious to the fact that God is reaching through the wall of the Arena to give him a Rabbit Punch.



Los Guerreros argue over the direction of Rhyno's career.



Chavo: What do you MEAN that you hit me with a burrito?



Eddie is confused as to when Chavo learned to turn into Kurt Angle.



This image offers a post hypnotic suggestion that jobbing the Rock to Mark Henry is a GOOD idea. It was introduced during the first Crips/Steiner match of last year...
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Old 01-03-2004, 06:54 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vastardikai


Show reacts to Bob calling him a Casket Surfing moron.
LMFAO! Genious!
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Old 01-04-2004, 02:52 AM   #16
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Quote:
The Jibroni FBI Member enlists Benoit's help in finding his missing shorts, but to no avail.
Pssst! It's jabroni.
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Old 01-04-2004, 03:11 AM   #17
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Quote:
Pssst! It's jabroni.
3 choices of what to do here...

1. Jabroni? *thinks* DOH! I knew it didn't look right!

2. The guy is such a loser, it doesn't matter if I spell Jabroni correctly or not when I describe him.

3. I knew that! I intentionally misspelled it so that Sexymanalive could understand it.

Guess which one is right, and you'll get a shot of Jack Daniels or the opportunity to kick Crips in the Quad with a Doc Martin.
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Old 01-05-2004, 01:10 AM   #18
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LOL! I choose #3!
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Old 01-05-2004, 01:38 AM   #19
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Well, it was actually number 1, but I'm in a good mood because Oklahoma fell to the Juggernaut that is the LSU Defense.

*Hands him a pair of Doc Martins*

I'd give you the shot, but I accidentally drank it during the celebration. To swing this on topic, I bet JR is pissed...
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Old 01-05-2004, 02:03 AM   #20
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You know he's gonna find some stupid way of incorporating it into tomorrow's RAW telecast. He'll probably compare Nick Saban to Saddam Hussein or something.
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Old 01-05-2004, 10:43 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by Vastardikai


Dawn Marie didn't know much about College Football, but she knew ALOT about the Trojans.
haha... yeah I bet she does
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Old 01-05-2004, 08:57 PM   #22
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poking a Wolverine, another side effect of hunger......have a Snickers
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