SmackDOWN! Captions [7-15-2004]

[Corkscrewed]

[Corkscrewed]

[Savio]

Cena knew there was a place in france where the naked ladies dance. He was however skeptical about the hole in the wall where the men could see it all.

Kenzo: TEA BAG!

Please get me out of seans cage!

Gimme back my shirt!

Wearing his special trunks the dyslexic nazi gives a BJ.

[Corkscrewed]

It is now Day 41 of the Sean O'Haire Hunt, and still no sightings after 12 brutal guerilla style killings.


"You're telling me the Lakers got WHO in return for Shaq????"


At last, we discover it was a young Kurt Angle behind the Shockmaster mask


The match was going well until the Cruisers were distracted by Rey flying around above the glass ceiling.

OR

Chavo: "What?! This week you're Superman???"


"I've found two Cruisers worth saving and taking with me. Grappling hook, away!!!"


Noble wasn't too fond of the new Spike Dudley Metal Detector.


Palumbo's banana peels strike again.


Jamie finds out exactly how the Dudley's kick ass.

OR

All would have gone well had not Rhyno tampered with Jamie's trunks.


Sensing Steven Richards about to strike with his Ass Darts, Kenzo comes to Cena's aid with an amazing flying chop right to the temple!


After hearing about the Shaq trade, Kenzo helps Laker fan John Cena hang himself.


When Kenzo fails to get the job done, Booker comes in for the assisted suicide.


Apparently, Cena misinterpreted what a French Tickler was supposed to mean.


At this moment, John "The Acolyte" Cena was born.


"Just like the Lakers in the west, John Cena is finally dead. Thank you!"


MAN could London do a flying headbutt from the rafters!


London shows off a nifty trick he learned on Velocity by flapping his wings and flying away.

[Splaya]

[QUOTE=Corkscrewed]


Just as they had managed to get A-Train in his cage, the security cameras flashed on the cage to reveal that the hairy one had escaped again.

[Savio]

P.A.: This is not a drill! The bottom has fallen out of the cage! Sean O'Haire is loose! Repeat, Sean O'Haire is loose!......

PS Corky make sure you see my other ones up above.

[Splaya]

Cena's reaction after finding out that there is a possibility JBL will be holding onto the title all the way to the November PPV's

[Splaya]

Eddie: Dammit Vince, I am not Sean

Security: Ok folks, you can relax Sean is back in the cage

Eddie: Damn you people

[Splaya]

For whatever reason, JBL's arm smelled like Taco's and Eddie began to bite JBL's arm.

[Splaya]

For whatever reason, JBL's arm smelled like Taco's and Eddie, being of Mexican background, began to bite JBL's arm.

[Splaya]

For whatever reason, JBL's arm smelled like Taco's and Eddie, being of Mexican background, began to bite JBL's arm.

[Corkscrewed]

Bubba: "SILENCE!!! The offering is about to be placed on the Altar of Helmsley!"


After the match, an incredibly impressed Triple H asked D'Von and London to teach him that new move.


"I'm still champ? Hey! Hurray! I'm still champ!"


Yet another fan suffers a heart attack as the result of JBL still being champ."

OR

"So this is what the cage was like! The pain! The horror!!!"


After about five minutes stuck in that position JBL figured maybe he should have gone to Sean's final lecture of cage escape.


"Okay, esse, I'm gonna jump and hit you with the splash, okay? And..." *BONK* "What the?!"


They'd finally trapped a rampaging homophobic Lesnar in a cage, but it probably wasn't a good idea for Eddie to taunt it with boasts about his cajones.


JBL: "You see that! Eddie's holding me down!!!"
Vince: "Really? All right, you get another month with the title!"
Eddie: "WTF?"


This was just like that nightmare Eddie always had where he was saying the pledge of allegiance and suddenly, he was naked.


After Brock was put in the cage, Eddie was given the unenviable task of being primary sentry.


That JBL's such a jerk. Instead of selling the Frog Splash from the top of the cage, Bradshaw just laughs it off.

OR

Eddie: "Did you hear about who the Lakers got back in return for Shaq?"
JBL: "I know!"


Eddie after finding out he's facing Ken Jennings in Jeopardy next week.


Eddie does fans around the world a favor by tearing JBL's head off.


The jails were quickly emptied as the first-ever Illegal Immigrant Title Battle Royale commenced.


"Oh shit! I gotta face ALL of them?"


"That's right! Black Ranger power, BIOTCH!!!"


"Aw crap, this must be one of those naked Power Ranger dreams again."

Ugh, not feeling it at all tonight.

[FourFifty]

Okay, I COULD have been the person to start this thread, but I was ripped away from the computer when I was asked to join a friend for dinner at Dennys. Yes, it’s all my friend’s fault!
As Always, I’ve yet to read the captions, so any ripped off jokes are subconscious, my mad ninja jedi powers, running jokes, or a coincidence.



Nope, still haven’t found Sean yet.


Cena: WHAT!!! YOU MEAN AFTER ALL THIS TIME YOU REALLY COULD SEE ME!?!?!?!
Kurt: It was just your hand…


The good news: Cena found The Ultmio Dragon, Sean O’Haire, Kanyon and Tommy Dreamer.
The bad news: They got sucked up by the blackhole of underrated talent.


At least this accident taught us all a lesson.
Do not play around Sean O’Haire’s cage.


Spike: What dya mean the ass-cannon says “Hencho En Mexico”?


EXTREME PROCTOLOGY!!!!


Best. RKO. Ever.


Bubba had to get revenge on Jamie for being a fan of the LA Dodgers and preventing me from watching SmackDown because their game was on!


It was clear that Kenzo and Steven Richards were the newest force to be reckoned with when they exchanged high fives.


Much to Cena’s surprise, he really couldn’t see Kenzo!


These poor people should have left the ring when they heard the glass ceiling was being lowered.


You’d be disgusted too if Madam Cleo was trying to breast feed you.


The ref starts to nod off as the production crew decides that it’s a good time to play “The Best Of JBL’s Promos” on the Titantron.


And then Zach Gowen shocked the world as he reviled to the world that he’s really black.


Needless to say Vince was singing “London Bridge Is Falling Down” when he had Paul jump from the rafters.


D-Von: Ah! Thank God for mid-air invisible crucifixes!

[FourFifty]

So Bubba, how many minutes did you and D-Von have as credible tag team champions on your last reign?


Vince: WHAT!?!?!?! Paul London with a clean victory over D-Von! Edit the ref out of that match!


Belty: You know The Nature Boy was the first person to hold me.
JBL: You mean Ric Flair?
Belty: Well, he did hold me, but he wasn’t the first.
JBL: But ain’t Ric The Natural Boy?
Belty: No, Buddy Rogers.
JBL: Isn’t he that fella that Weezer sang about?
Belty:


“Too much cream filling….”


Time to clean out Sean’s cage.


The Good News: The ref made a dramatic face turn when he decided to do The Worm on JBL.
The Bad News: Lita’s Wresting Ability > The Ref’s Depth Perception.



This was the best Tornado DDT I’ve never seen.


JBL: Well, Vince told me to “Elevate” you, so I gotta do this! And the boys backstage told me I couldn’t “carry” you through a match! Proved them suckers wrong! Yeeeeeee doggie!


“As God is my witness, I will restore Belty’s honor!”


If you were feuding with JBL you’d be contemplating suicide also.


Since he couldn’t burry the entire SmackDown roster, Triple H compensated by showing his honey moon tape in sporadic intervals on SmackDown.


Eddie’s plan was simple. Throw the giant invisible burrito on Bradshaw, leave the cage while he’s buried.


JBL: Okay Eddie, this is the point where you job to me… but I thought you Mexicans weren’t too fond of jobs?
Eddie: No esté sorprendido si usted encuentra un scorpion en sus cargadores mañana.
“Don’t be surprised if you find a scorpion in your boots tomorrow.”


Try as he might, Thing couldn’t stop the masked man from screwing over Eddie.


Eddie: Where’s the cream filling?
Kurt: I’ve got your cream filling right here, bitch!


Kurt: I still think they should have kept the original Darren!

[Nowhere Man]

Vince knew all that money he'd spent on Erector sets and all that time he'd spent playing "Mouse Trap" would come in handy some day....



In another unexciting changes in character, John "Really Enthusiastic About Your Lapels" Cena gets saddled with another lame gimmick.



Cena was proud to welcome the Shockmaster to Smackdown.



Rey really would have liked to finish the match, but unfortunately, the rest of the Justice League was calling for him.



Smackdown's first ever "Cruiserweight Swing-Dance Open" was a rousing success....



...but nowhere near as fun as the "Great Cruiserweight 'Wheelbarrow' Derby"



Spiker Dudley wows the crowd with his awesome Randy Orton impression, including the botched finisher



Bubba and Noble use visual aids to interpret the handling of WWE's Cruiser Division.



I'm honestly not sure what the hell that's supposed to be, so I don't feel particularly well captioning it.



Unfortunately, no one told Suzuki it's best to be on the OTHER side of the turnbuckle when attempting a Bronco Buster.



When most people say a wrestler sucks, it's usually not meant literally. Sadly, this was not the case for Kenzo Suzuki, whose rectum held a powerful vortex that would have swallowed up the entire arena, had John Cena not plugged it up with his arm.



Cena allows his more sensitive side to shine through when he and Booker rent The English Patient again.



The Doctor of Thuganomics is also the World's Most Thuganomical Blood Donor.



Booker takes a moment off of beating on his opponent to call a field goal.



Not a caption, but if D-Von's about to do what I think he's about to do, then, fucking OW.



D-Von Dudley was no match for the horror that was the Cruiser with Two Heads.

[Nowhere Man]

Ugh....that last little group of mine SUCKED. Anyways, it's too damn late, and I have to work tomorrow. I'll probably finish up the second half of it this weekend.

[PorkSoda]

Why do we have troops fighting in Iraq when we can just settle things in steel cages?



"Black Hole Sun...wont ya come?"



Bubba: I'm going to shove my foot so far up your ass it'll come out of your mouth!
*Kicks Jamie in the butt. Proceeds to move foot from side to side*
"Damn...I'm getting there...hold on..."
Spike: BUBBA WHAT ARE YOU DOING?



Paul: Vroooooooom! I'm Delta Airlines! Boop Boop!
Dvon: ......
Paul: I'm American Airlines! Dunna Dunna Nun Nun! Beep Beep Beep ba Beep!



Dvon: Alright Bubba, help me lift him.
Bubba: (Posing to the crowd) THANK YOU THANK YOU!
Dvon: What the hell are you doing?
Bubba: I'm about to make this chocolate bunny...dissapear!



JBL: Hey Eddie, I dare you to touch that fence.
Eddie: No way, that fence is electric. I'll get electrocuted.
JBL: Aww come on, just touch it.
Eddie: Nope.
JBL: Look Eddie, theres a spider on the cage, right in front of your face.
Eddie: I HATE SPIDERS AHHHH *Slaps the cage, gets electrocuted*
JBL: Haha...dumbass.

or...

Monkey Jungle's latest breed of monkey.

[Transplant]

This was the first ladder match where in order to win, you had to climb the ladder and clean Sean O'Haires cage.


"GIMME BACK MY TWINKIE"


"Yup, its a hole alright. I should be able to fix that in about 3 to 4 weeks, but I'm gonna need a thousand dollar advance. You know, for materials and labour and stuff"


Noble: Its A Bird!
Chavo: Its A Plane!
Spike: No, Its another dumbass superhero joke!


Spike: What the hell am I suppose to do on Smackdown!?


He tried, and he tried....


...but no matter how hard he tried, Spike couldn't get the lid off his Jamie Noble Cookie Jar


Bubba: Are you sure you want me to do this?
Noble: Yeah, i wont get hurt, I saw it on Kung Pow once.
Bubba:


Cena: Hey Kenzo, wheres my order?
Kenzo: Did you check under my crotch?
Cena: Oh wait, no I didnt. Thank...hey


John Cena will think again next time he thinks of calling Kenzo Suzuki a homo


Now everybody knew not to play "Focreable Strip Poker" with Cena again


"Must.....Eat.....Fingers"


He could rap, he could wrestle, but nobody knew he could do the "grease Lightning" dance


"Hey Booker, how many times have you said you're gonna retire?"


D-Von: You see, I suffer from a disease called "Diribonucleicoversupplementeral" disease. This means that I have extra body parts where you would not normally find them. Incase you havnt noticed, I have a Paul London body where my head should be.


Paul London's "Lui Kang" impression was a sight to be seen

[Transplant]

Bubba: Oh I have SEEN the light. Oh Glory Halleluyah. Can I get an Amen?
D-Von: Thats my gimmick you white Bastard


The D-Von-London Octopus strikes again


Missing: "Belty". Last seen here, with owner, JBL. Has perhaps commited suicide. Look for gold gobblets or other antiques with melted "JBL" logo on them. Sadly Missed.


"Damn, I knew I shouldnt have had Tacos for lunch"


"Yup, just what I suspected, A broken pipe. Dont worry, I'll have that fixed in a few weeks. Now, we can shake to seal the deal"
"But what if I was to shake like this?" *Shakes limb off its body*
"Wow, I didnt know you were in the Zac Gowen fan club too"


Ref: Look at me, I can fly!!
JBL/Eddie:....


Eddie Guerrero, WWEs new drug dog, smelt some of that west texas grass coming from JBL's armpit.


Hey, you'd be as dazzled as the ref is YOU saw JBL's FOURTH nipple


Eddie: I AM american, see. Ohh Say Cant You See!! That Im Not Wearing Pants!! Wait, thats the Australian national anthem.....


Ref: ....5....6...7...
Eddie: WTF are you counting for, its a fuckin cage match.


Max Mini's new "Ankle Biter" move looked devistating.


Eddie asks for more morphaen after the GAB re-runs.


Eddie: Hey John, esse, You left your wallet in the ring, holmes.
JBL: Oh thanks Eddie. Look, I'm gonna go down there and grab it, and since I sucked Vince off, he demmanded you to let me win, so can you stay up here while I go down?
Eddie: ffffffffffffffffuck that, holmes.


"Ha, I've captured you this time, senoir Gowen. You wont be able to escape Mexican manual labour ever again."


Eddie: Whoa, El Gran, Im so sorry for stealing your face, I mean, I thought it was just a mask....


El Gran: AHHHH, IM HIDEOUS!!!


Kurt: WE'RE STREAKING!! LOOK AT US WE'RE STREAKING!! LOOK AT US!! *looks behind**....ahhhhh, shit, not again.

[Corkscrewed]

Originally Posted by Always450 Cena: WHAT!!! YOU MEAN AFTER ALL THIS TIME YOU REALLY COULD SEE ME!?!?!?! Kurt: It was just your hand… Bubba had to get revenge on Jamie for being a fan of the LA Dodgers and preventing me from watching SmackDown because their game was on!

LMAO at the first one, and as to the second one... you live in the LA area too? Cool. Whereabouts?

[Corkscrewed]

Seconds later, Eddie unleashed the sickest Sunset Flip Snap Powerbomb ever delivered.

[V]

John Cena tries to show his respect to Canada by carving a maple leaf in the wall, but fails miserably

[FourFifty]

Originally Posted by Corkscrewed LMAO at the first one, and as to the second one... you live in the LA area too? Cool. Whereabouts?

No dice. I don't live in the LA Area. I live in the high desert, 'round 2 1/2 hours away from SanDeigo, a shade under 2 hours away from Palm Springs, and a stones throw away from hell. All the bragging rights of living in SoCali, without the fun. Just close enough to LA for UPN to say "We'll show SmackDown on Satudray at 5:00pm, while we play show this game!"

[HankScorpio]

LMAO at "no dice", whenever anyone says that all I can picture is Bronson Missouri from the Simpsons

[Corkscrewed]

^ Well, thanks a lot! Now I am too!

That kinda sucks, Always. What exacty city (or nearest city) do you live in? Or what county, cuz it sounds like San Bernadino or Riverside, but maybe not.

[Blue Demon]

[img]http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/071504/images/33.jpg[/img]

Everyone was shocked when Kurt showed his rue identity.....Barney!!!

[Blue Demon]

Kurt shocked everyone by morphing into barney

[FourFifty]

First off, Corky, I live in a small city called 29 Palms... It's close to.... uh.... Yucca Valley.... Joshua Tree.... DHS.... and some other no name citys.
It's home of the worlds biggest USMC base... Why is it the biggest one? Endless miles of dirt.

Anywho....


"The hell do you mean the princess is in another castle! This is the third freakin' one!"

[loopydate]

Since I'm having so much trouble getting myself motivated to do these, I'll just do this one.



EDDIE: It puts the lotion on its skin, ese!

[Thriller]

Jaime tries to do his best Batista impression in hopes Vince will take him off Velocity.

[Mayo]

Originally Posted by Nowhere Man Bubba and Noble use visual aids to interpret the handling of WWE's Cruiser Division.