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Old 08-18-2005, 04:55 PM   #1
Kane Knight
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News, Summerslam edition
Lesnar vs Hart added to card: Because people just haven't figured out that he's not able to wrestle anymore, they have long demanded Bret Hart's return to the ring. Finally, they get it.

Expect the Hitman to go over Lesnar when his "Force Field" defeats the F-5.

Big Show fired: Apparently, the WWE has decided that paying for four airline tickets and a double-wide dressing room isn't worth the 12 fans the Big Show draws on a regular basis. A "Save Show" petition has been started, with all 12 fans signing it. Keep in mind this is twice the number of signatures on the petition to save UPN show "Enterprise."

Love Machine: Expect Big Vis to return to action, as a new storyline is planned to begin Sunday night for Summerslam. Ring announcer and eye candy Lillian Garcia will announce that she is pregnant with Vis' child, and beg the "500 pound Loooove Machine" to do the right thing."

No hand or other fake bodypart will be involved, but Vis will turn out not to be the father when the baby's first words are "wassupwidat?"

"Kanned:" News on why Kane has been off TV has been released. The Government has been investigating him for fraud. Apparently, he has been using a false alias to avoid paying taxes. Dr. Isaac Yankem has not filed a claim in 14 years.

L-"Ode"-D: instead of continuing to turn Heidenreich into a Road Warrior, Heidenreich will begin to transform Animal into a beat poet. Expect to see the shoulderpads replaced by bongos.

Christian No More: Protest groups have finally gotten their way, and the offensive monicker "Christian" will be replaced by the more politically correct, "Winter Festival." His finisher, the "Unprettier" will be replaced by the "image impairer."

South of the Border: Expect the new Mexicool "Taco Bell" commercial to air at Summerslam. Expect the Mexicools to be fired before the next Smackdown.

Tombstone: In an attempt to keep the Undertaker credible, he is expected to win at Summerslam. However, he is in prison for trying to spring his brother Kane. In keeping with the spirit of the Undertaker character, Orton will job to a crippled lightning bolt.

Expect Shannon Moore to play the lightning, complete with 50,000 volt battery strapped to his ass.

And now you're up to date for your PPV pleasure!

“There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”

--John Rogers
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Old 08-18-2005, 05:01 PM   #2
The Naitch
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The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
I got my daily fix
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Old 08-18-2005, 05:16 PM   #3
Chavo Classic
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Kane Knight spread rep around blah blah
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Old 08-18-2005, 05:47 PM   #4
Shadow
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Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Shadow got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
DAMN IT!

Must spread some more rep around..
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Old 08-18-2005, 07:02 PM   #5
Skippord
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Naitch
I got my daily fix
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Old 08-18-2005, 08:00 PM   #6
Jaton
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OMG! r u 4 real? 4 real like chris benwah?
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Old 08-18-2005, 11:46 PM   #7
TerranRich
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kane Knight
[B]Keep in mind this is twice the number of signatures on the petition to save UPN show "Enterprise."
I don't understand Trek-bashing. The Enterprise petition on www.petitiononline.com had well over 14,000 signatures. A rinky-dink site like www.startrekfans.net had just shy of 4,000 signatures.

It's come to my attention that most Trek-bashers aren't intelligent enough to understand most of it (which is mostly INTELLECT, not INTELLIGENCE based), and therefore, like most stupid people do, tend to become frustrated, and then, angry. It's a progression.

Stupidity: "Duh, I don't understand it. A united Earth, and people actually working together in a peaceful future? Alien life? Duh..."

turns into...

Frustration: "I don't understand! I want my mommy!"

into...

Anger: "I hate Star Trek! Only nerds and geeks and people with no lives watch Star Trek! Wah, wah waaaahhh!"

I'm not saying your either of these things, KK, this is not a personal attack on you. I love you, in a totally not-gay way. It's just that everytimes somebody bashes Star Trek, I have to speak up. I'll get off my soap box now, I probably broke it with my geekiness and loser-ness.
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Old 08-19-2005, 07:27 PM   #8
KingofOldSchool
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Pffft.

Trekkies will buy anything that has "STAR TREK" plastered on it.

Hell if there was a Star Trek: The Final Solution, I'm sure Trekkies would start rounding up the Jews in a heartbeat.
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Old 08-19-2005, 07:31 PM   #9
Xero
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TerranRich
I'm not saying your either of these things, KK, this is not a personal attack on you. I love you, in a totally not-gay way. It's just that everytimes somebody bashes Star Trek, I have to speak up. I'll get off my soap box now, I probably broke it with my geekiness and loser-ness.
TNG fucking owns Enterprise.
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Old 08-20-2005, 12:14 AM   #10
Kane Knight
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xero Limit 126
TNG fucking owns Enterprise.
The thing on that chick's face (The fixer on SD) owns Enterprise.
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Old 08-20-2005, 04:15 AM   #11
Joey Slugs
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KingofOldSchool
Pffft.

Trekkies will buy anything that has "STAR TREK" plastered on it.

Hell if there was a Star Trek: The Final Solution, I'm sure Trekkies would start rounding up the Jews in a heartbeat.
I never understood the "Trekkie" thing. The show was only on for what? 3 seasons? Fucking losers.
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