Signs it's time to Retire.... Or at least do commentary

[Next Big Thing]

1) The majority of the fans today think you've always had gray hair.

2) Your "fat trunks" no longer fit.

3) You rationalize that you don't need to go to the gym because the walk down the ramp and up the stairs into the ring gets your heart rate higher than any cardio exercise you ever did in your younger days.

4) You were pissed when TNA got rid of the ramp that led straight to the ring.

5) Guys in their mid to late 30's refer to you as the "grandfather of..."

6) Even your pubes are gray.

7) Your old wrestling trunks are for sale along with the trunks of guys who haven't wrestled on a regular/serious basis in the 21st century...


8) You go from this:

To this:

To this:

9) Even female performers are scared to be too stiff with you

10) You find yourself doing arm drags on fan boys who pay you. Your grandchildren later read about it on a wrestling message board and confront you about breaking your promise of no more indie/ hardcore/ reunion shows for beer money and a ride home.


11) You think "getting color" for every match makes the match more real/ old school/ hardcore (how you justify splitting your head open with a razor depends on whether you miss the territories/ are over the age of 45/ or are an ECW retread)...




12) At least one of your traveling buddies was a devout racist/ card carrying member of the KKK and had no problem admitting it in public... in front of black people.



Feel free to add to the list