Tomko's "Super-Friends," new IC champion plans, recent firing, more.

[Kane Knight]

Common sense let go: The WWE has released common sense, in accordance to the restraining order preventing common sense from coming near Dusty Rhodes. Nobody knows why they had not fired him before; common sense has been unused for quite some time, with no scheduled return date. Speculation is that they feared waht could happen if Jeff Jarrett and TNA got ahold of Common Sense.

Benoit to drop title: It was too good to be true, it seems. Benoit's recent push as US champion, on top of the speed in which he makes opponets tap, will come to a halt next week, as he battles Jillian's "blemish" and jobs clean in under 22 seconds. WWE creative is grooming the blemish for a possible Royal Rumble victory.

He really eats tin cans: Despite knocking out the duo last week on Heat, Tyson Tomko is scheduled to join them as the superhero, "Goatboy." While he will start as a S.H.I.T. like Rosey, it is expected he will wear a mask with large horns to the ring.

It really IS a surprise: After a brief interview session with Jim Ross (Which involved a belt sander, razor wire, an assault rifle, and testicle clamps), yours truly has determined the identity of the mystery Diva to pose in playboy. It is none other than the Game, Triple H. When asked why he would pose in a magazine of naked women for men, he simply responded with his catchphrase, "Because I am that damn good."

Failing upward: News has surfaced regarding current issues with the "Captain Charisma" license. It turns out the WWE will resolve this by "promoting" Christian to "Sargent Style." Not only will this include a new "Queer Eye" look, but a total disregard for actual rank progression.

619 has been disconnected: It turns out that Rey Mysterio has not been wrestling of late. Due to an injury at Wrestlemania, Mysterio has been played by a yet-unnamed child actor. The question is this: How did nobody notice until the "tattoo" on his stomach start to run when he began to sweat?