WWE fined for human rights violations, the next WWE moviestar and more...

**Kane Knight** · 01-07-2006, 11:45 PM

Right here in the Ruse Report.

First iff, to clear up a rumour, Raven is not returning to the WWE. It turns out that one of the Janitors just write bad poetry.

The WWE has announced a suit against TNA today, claiming that Team 3-D is violating their Dudley Boys trademark. The 742 page document claims that the WWE owns the rights to a "mixed race" tag team.

The International Human Rights Council has fined the WWE for human rights abuses. It turns out that Rey Mysterio has been played by a series of underpaid Peurto Rican children.

The current plan is to have Kurt Angle continue his questionable comments on American heroes. At house shows over this weekend, he was reported to have taken shots at the miners in VA. The WWE were baffled, however, when the arena gave him a standing ovation.

Jerry "The King" Lawler is expected to win this Sunday, in promotion of his upcoming horror film. The film, a sequel to Kane's "see No Evil," Is titled "See no puppies."

Apparently, King buried himself in the role.

Gregory Helms, fresh off his loss, will feud with Maria. And lose.

Shawn Michaels is said to be endorsing a line of hair care products. They were developed in-house by the WWE's own Bob "Hardcore" Holly.

The true story behind Ken Kennedy's injury is that he hurt himself fending off the advances of Cena's "Five Knuckle Shuffle." In the process, he injured his shoulder and Cena pulled his groin.

Cloe, the latest addition to the WWE's superstars page, is slated for a Women's Championship run. She has been wrestling warmup matches with Candice Michelle and Ashley. Contray to popular opinion, Cloe has evidently been carrying the matches.

Charlie Haas has been fired again. No explaination at this time.

Randy Orton will be killed this week, only to be resurrected by the Boogeyman. Little is known about this angle except that Boogeyman will feed Orton Worms "like a baby bird."

Chris Benoit has signed with the WWE again, and plans are to reform the "Four Horsemen" Under his leadership. The other members are expected to be The Boogeyman, Zombie Orton, and Matt Hardy (While he seems an odd choice, he did clearly com in riding a pale whore).

The WWE has just re-signed former superstar Charlie Haas.

PFC Snitsky will be on CNN next week, pitching his new book, It wasn't my fault: The lost batallion. This autobiography details the 87 men and women who went MIA for 6 weeks, only to be found at a Citgo in Ohio.

While she has insisted she is not a lesbian, Mickie James was seen kissing Shannon Moore last week in a club in LA. More on this as it develops.

The Ruse Report: The Internet's number one source of blasphemy, heresy, and obscurity!

www.rusereport.com

01-07-2006, 11:45 PM	#1
Kane Knight Ron Paul 4 EVA Posts: 152,467	WWE fined for human rights violations, the next WWE moviestar and more... Right here in the Ruse Report. First iff, to clear up a rumour, Raven is not returning to the WWE. It turns out that one of the Janitors just write bad poetry. The WWE has announced a suit against TNA today, claiming that Team 3-D is violating their Dudley Boys trademark. The 742 page document claims that the WWE owns the rights to a "mixed race" tag team. The International Human Rights Council has fined the WWE for human rights abuses. It turns out that Rey Mysterio has been played by a series of underpaid Peurto Rican children. The current plan is to have Kurt Angle continue his questionable comments on American heroes. At house shows over this weekend, he was reported to have taken shots at the miners in VA. The WWE were baffled, however, when the arena gave him a standing ovation. Jerry "The King" Lawler is expected to win this Sunday, in promotion of his upcoming horror film. The film, a sequel to Kane's "see No Evil," Is titled "See no puppies." Apparently, King buried himself in the role. Gregory Helms, fresh off his loss, will feud with Maria. And lose. Shawn Michaels is said to be endorsing a line of hair care products. They were developed in-house by the WWE's own Bob "Hardcore" Holly. The true story behind Ken Kennedy's injury is that he hurt himself fending off the advances of Cena's "Five Knuckle Shuffle." In the process, he injured his shoulder and Cena pulled his groin. Cloe, the latest addition to the WWE's superstars page, is slated for a Women's Championship run. She has been wrestling warmup matches with Candice Michelle and Ashley. Contray to popular opinion, Cloe has evidently been carrying the matches. Charlie Haas has been fired again. No explaination at this time. Randy Orton will be killed this week, only to be resurrected by the Boogeyman. Little is known about this angle except that Boogeyman will feed Orton Worms "like a baby bird." Chris Benoit has signed with the WWE again, and plans are to reform the "Four Horsemen" Under his leadership. The other members are expected to be The Boogeyman, Zombie Orton, and Matt Hardy (While he seems an odd choice, he did clearly com in riding a pale whore). The WWE has just re-signed former superstar Charlie Haas. PFC Snitsky will be on CNN next week, pitching his new book, It wasn't my fault: The lost batallion. This autobiography details the 87 men and women who went MIA for 6 weeks, only to be found at a Citgo in Ohio. While she has insisted she is not a lesbian, Mickie James was seen kissing Shannon Moore last week in a club in LA. More on this as it develops. The Ruse Report: The Internet's number one source of blasphemy, heresy, and obscurity! www.rusereport.com �There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old�s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.� --John Rogers