The Descent

[KillerWolf]

Once again, we have a movie that got pretty good critical reviews. And, the trailer made it look like it could be good. Well, I had to tap out after about an hour and 15 minutes. It would have been sooner, but I had company over that wanted to see how much more stupid the movie could get.

This movie was represented (by the critics) to be A: genuinely scary. {It wasnt. It's gory, but not scary.} And B: More or less an intelegent film, especially for a horror movie. {Well, apparently this was based soley on the fact that all of the actors in the film were adults. No teenagers in this movie.} However, the entire premis of the movie is really fucking stupid.

So these six or seven extreme!!!, spreelunking bitches go cave rapelling somewhere in Apalachia, and one of them takes the rest to this "new system where no one's ever been before" There's a cave-in. they become trapped and must keep pressing forward to find a new way out.

There are a lot of cliches in the movie. For example the lead chick tells the black nail polish, spikey haired, pushes the envelope chick that she must follow her lead and follow saftey proceedures. Then two minutes later, the lead chick is doing something stupid and unsafe just for the fun of it. Once they get into trouble, they mention the need to conserve thier flashlights, yet everyone's flashlights remain on, though they're travelling in a tight group.

Then there's the monsters. When I saw the trailer, I thought they were actually demons or something. Turns out they're just some race of humanoid creature that had evolved underground...somehow.

Let me make this point: Do you know why the Blair Witch was scary? Well, because the Blair Witch wasnt in every fucking scene. When you have a few people and a bunch of monsters, and the monsters are always attacking, then either the monsters look inept or you have a 45 minute movie where eveyone dies. This is why From Dusk Til Dawn doesnt work as a scary movie. It's just a fun movie on other levels.

So the first time one of the creatures attacks, one of them bites off the top of a woman's head - that is to say, bites off the top half of her head with about as much ease as biting off the top of a rotten apple. So you would figure that these things are pretty deadly, right? Well from that point, these women are kicking these things' asses by using fisticuffs. Ya know suddenly, these women are all so clever and bad-ass, and they know just how to kill these things and how to exploit all of there genetic-weaknesses. All this moments after one of them while examining the corpse of one that they killed concludes that "they are perfectly evolved for hunting in these underground caves."

Another "scary moment" was earlier in the film when they discovered piles of bones. human and animal. keep in mind, this shit is at least three or four levels down under the ground in this place where no one has been. So how do enough people and animals (deer and cows and shit) end up wandering deep, deep under ground to be enough food to sustain an entire race over the years?

absolutely ridiculous, stupid movie.