Hannibal Rising (Spoilers)

[Blitz]

Gah, this thing was terrible. This piece of shit is all about Hannibal taking revenge on the Nazis who killed and ate his sister. Yes, you read that right. Tell me something. Why in the name of God do they insist on trying to make Hannibal Lecter, a psychopathic, cannibalistic serial killer, sympathetic. They don't have him kill anyone but bad people, cuz God forbid a serial killer look evil. I would've loved to see that Hannibal had a normal childhood, and somehow developed into a killer. I guess that would've strained Thomas Harris' brain to much to come up with something that complex.

And there's really no jump to murder for him. One minute he's this shy, mute orphan, then suddenly he's a suave, charming (or as close an approximation to charming as the guy who plays him can get) killer. Very little is made of the fact that he's a cannibal as well. You'd think the fact that people killed and ate his sister would dissuade him from cannibalism, but uh-uh. Also, there's the revelation at the end that Hannibal unknowingly ate some of his sister as well. What the fuck?

His Japanese aunt, who he's in love with, is neither horrified nor happy at the fact that he's a killer. She's just really fucking blase about the whole thing. Gaspard Ulliel, who lays Hannibal, is terrible. His accent makes me think he thought this was a parody or something (Can't really blame him, had I read Thomas Harris' joke of a script, I probably would've thought the same thing). The guy's entire acting repertoire seems to consist of smirking and tilting his head downwards to try to look menacing.

And for some reason, they fell the need to work Hannibal's famous mask into his past. Why? Why can't they just accept that it was a visual that became a pop culture icon? Fuck you Thomas Harris. Stop whoring this character out just because you'll never be famous for anything but him.

Oh, and you've gotta love the fact that Hannibal's aunt trained him to be a FUCKING SAMURAI. You'd think that fact might've popped up in one of the other movies.

In closing, fuck you Thomas Harris. :foc: