Official MB's No Mercy Results and Commentary Thread (Jericho!)

[Mercury Bullet]

I just said Jericho! in the title for no reason. He doesn't show up.

Opening Segment: Randy Orton is awarded the WWE Championship. Crowd chants for Jericho. VInce acknowledges chant. Triple H comes out, wants a match, is denied. Triple H makes a penis joke about Vince, is awarded the title show.
Score: 4/10

Triple H vs. Randy Orton (c) - WWE Title Match
Winner: Triple H via Roll Up
Score: 5/10

Jeff Hardy & Londrick vs. Mr. Kennedy and Cadock
Winners: Mr. Kennedy and Cadock via Green Bay Plunge and Pinfall by Mr. Kennedy <- from ABT because I didn't remember
Score: 7/10

CM Punk (c) vs. Big Daddy V - ECW Title Match
Winner: CM Punk via Bitch-Out DQ
Score: 1/10

Segment: Matt Hardy throws up on MVP
Score: 4/10

Triple H (c) vs. Umaga - WWE Title Match
Winner: Triple H via Pinfall
Score: 3/10

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay
Winner: ??? via Ending in retarded brawl after Final fakes injury
Score: 3/10

Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle (c) - Women's Title Match
Winner: Beth Phoenix via Pinfall in quite possibly the worst Women's match of all time.
Score: 1/10 for comedic purposes

Batista (c) vs. Great Khali World Heavyweight Title Punjabi Suckfest Match
Winner: (Batista) Anybody who missed this one, tops the previous match as the worst Women's match of all time.
Score: 1/10 for comedic purposes

Triple H (c) vs. Randy Orton (again) - WWE Title Match, Last Man Standing
Winner: Randy Orton in what was actually a very intriguing match.
Score: 8/10

Notes:
1) The actual card deviated a great deal from the announced card, which I thought was interesting.
2) First half of the show felt much more like a Raw or Smackdown than an actual PPV (and that is not a good thing)
3) Alot of pointless activity
4) Why the fuck wasn't there a 'Swog segment?!?
5) I want to have a threesome with Melina and Maria
6) After a disappointing show all around, the main event gave the show a solid recovery. Not a true epic by any means, but there was good psychology and was one of the few unpredictable and important matches in a LONG while. And while it looked like Triple H's reign of terror had already begun, I was relieved to see Orton walk out with the title. Hopefully he does well with it, and I feel we need some time with a heel champion.

Overall Score: 7/10
Best PPV in a while.