The Best Captions of 2004 Thread

**Corkscrewed** · 04-09-2004, 03:18 AM

APRIL

SmackDOWN! [4-1-2004]
Face Heely:

Eddie Guerrero proudly unveils the new "Latino Heat Asshat," available now on WWE ShopZone!

Rock Bottom:

Bradshaw: Are you the cruiserweight I'm here to bury?
Driver: No hablo-
Bradshaw: (Cutting him off) Thanks little buddy. Know where I might find this "Hablo" character?

When your penis is that large, it certainly takes alot out of you to masturbate.

And thus, Booker one-upped Brock, by disintegrating Holly's entire head with a piledriver.

Cena: This dog should be the new mascot for the WWE! Not only does it live and breathe WWE, but it shits WWE too!

Bradshaw: And this pink right here represents some heavy heat and humidity pouring through the area. A little to the west of that, there is some light rainfall, and I guess that giant Mexican guy is like El Nino or something.

Taker: Well Eddie, looks like putting on that cowboy hat got you a huge pop, guess you owe me 20 bucks.

Corkscrewed:

Long: "The Man is holding down the brotha. See, D-Von, you didn't even notice that Bubba borrowed some of Rhyno's crazy glue to paste a thermal detonator onto your cheek."

Cena: "Hey Renee, how come YOU get to hang out with Stephanie?"

The depush of Eddie Guerrero began as he was appointed Official SmackDOWN! Boogers Inspector.

Innovator:

Haas: Ha! gotcha leg!
RVD: Ha! gotcha push!
Haas: ...dirty mother****er

Even the limo threw the horns up for Cena

Big Daddy Cool:

Cena and Bradshaw agree, he's a homo.

loopydate:

CENA: And now I will use my powers to...TURN SYLVAN GRENIER INTO A POODLE!

After he broke his nose, Eddie knew that the only one who could take care of him was Kurt "Booboo Kisser" Angle.

LAWYER: Mister Bradshaw, would you please point to whomever it was that put you in the giant marshmallow?

EDDIE: I'm going to sit on you so hard, your hat will be the only thing sticking out.
BRADSHAW: I'd like to see you try!
(Moments later)
EDDIE: Ow.

Big Vito 22:

RVD does his best Kevin Nash impersonation.

RAW [4-5-2004]
MVP:

Johnny: "Hey remember that time on Nitro when Bret Hart beat you for the World Heavyweight Title?"
Benoit: "You better shut up."
Johnny: "Remember when you got screwed out of keeping World Heavyweight Title at Souled Out?"
Benoit: "Remember that time your arm "spontaneously" broke?"
Johnny: "No...*snap* OWWWWW!!"

The new Mick Foley brand toothbrush did not sell well.

No one jobbed to Chris Benoit in a nappy match.

Wondermouse:

The chair wasn't all that comfortable, but Christian had to appreciate the state of the art slutholder. Now his hand didn't get all wet from the natural condensation.

loopydate:

REGAL: Hello, sunshine.
ERIC: Oh, hi, William. Good to see you.
REGAL: Yes, well, I just thought I'd inform you that I have come to replace Steve Austin as your backstage nemesis, so to speak.
ERIC: Oh. Well, thank you for informing me.
REGAL: You're quite welcome. Now, would you please direct me to the ladies' locker room.
ERIC: Down the hall to the left. Why do you ask?
REGAL: Oh, no reason. *Cracks knuckles* See you soon.

ANNCR: And the lucky winner is the fan seated in section 1, row 1, seat 1!
TRISH: Did we just win?
FAN: Riiiiiiiigged!

MICK: This cotton candy looks kind of str--OW!

Steven Richards: Master Archer

ERIC: ...hope you don't mind that I put down in words / How wonderful life is while you're in the world...
MICK: Dude, that was bro awesome man sweet dawg!
HBK: Rubbish. Absolute rubbish.
BENOIT: Hey! Why do I have to be Paula?

PETER/PAUL/MARY: No need to rub it in, asshole.

JamesSteele:

Triple H: Who dare sayeth I have a small penis?
Dave (To Ric): That's what Randy Told me...
Ric: I am not telling you anything you don't already know...
Triple H: Who said that?

Rock Bottom:

Shelton had to be the dumbest guy in the planet for agreeing to his rematch with Triple H being a "nose war."

Shelton: Alright Trips, get ready to go over me.
Triple H: Wait a m-
Shelton: Contract said I'd put you over, didnt say how!

El Santo:

Trips: "Heh... don't worry, Shelton. You won't be buried like the Hurricane."
Shelton: "Uh, Hunter... Nose. Growing."
Trips: "Dammit."

The Ref was at a loss when Steven Richards snatched his Philly cheese steak.

Mick was kinda perplexed by the size of Big Show's Q-tip.

There were few things that could faze Hunter, but unsightly earwax buildup just grossed him out.

When Chris finally realized that he was being stalked by Shelob, it was too late.

Corkscrewed:

Mick Foley's heel turn was complete as he revelled in the victory of stealing the Olympic Torch.

A-Train kicked off his newest angle by running down Orton with a locomotive, doing it "for the Ric."

Chris was devastated when Triple H took his belt just like that without a match or anything, but at least Evolution gave him a pinfall over a steel chair so that he could retain some of his credibility.

"At last, the gold is mine agai-- What the? Dammit Invisible Crucifix! I have the belt now! You can stop targetting people that hold gold!"

Sascha:

Eugene: HHH put a glass ceiling for me right here.
Regal: Then after your match with Hunter, you will go into the golden box.

Innovator:

Regal: Hello Eric, I'm back
Biscoff: MR. BEAN!!!!!!
Regal:....oh shit

I know Christian is enjoying having Trish with him, but he's got to watch out for that Imperial Walker behind him

Jericho: Couple more seconds and I've won...
Ref: Sorry Chris, I can't ring the bell for any Canadians anymore, strict rules
Jericho: But I live in NY now
Ref: Oh, in that case *rings bell*
Jericho: sucker

SmackDOWN! [4-8-2004]
Rock Bottom:

Angle had copied Charlie's whopper for the last time.

Bush: Haha, I got it. I hacked into the votes. My competition won't stand a chance... Now let's see... (Stupified look, starts typing)

Eddie: What the hell!? I am the President of the United States!?
(Somewhere in D.C.)
Bush: God... Damnit! What is WRONG with this thing!? (Still typing)

Michael Jackson's first Hug a Little Boy foundation meeting was a success.

Eddie Guerrero had all sorts of things in his pocket to use as an illegal object, including the mummified penis of John Bobbit.

Eddie Guerrero as a Final Fantasy 1 character was a big success, with equipment such as S. Chair, WWE Belt. But if only the thief chose the right pillar to prove his courage, he could become a ninja.

Kane Knight:

Bradshaw, doing his impression of Neo from the Matrix...

Ten minutes later...

An hour after the TV equipment has been packed up...

El Santo:

Like the mighty baboon, Rikishi often frightened off his enemies by flashing his vibrant buttocks.

Scotty's mime gimmick stalled when he couldn't find a way out of his invisible box.

Say what you want about Theodore Long, but the man could freestyle like a motherf***er.

Sure, everyone made fun of Eddie's portrait, but no one was laughing when it pulled out two lightsabers.

Corkscrewed:

It was quite obvious from this picture: Scotty did NOT know Kung Fu.

Angle: "See? WWE polls are fair! They are NOT fixed!"
Cena: "Yeah... not fixed..."

Vince: "Hey Bradshaw, I want you to learn some new moves!"

JamesSteele:

John Cena had Danny Basham beat until he spontaniously broke out into a complete rendition of Michael Jackson's "Thriller"

Eddie's E-Bay addiction was starting to get the best of him.

Wondermouse:

Bradshaw was impressed. That was a helluva one-minute manicure.

Haas: Why didn't you tell me those green shorts were ridiculous!?

Jindrak was puzzled, when, looking into the monitor, he saw Mick Foley in the stands.

Face Heely:

Rikishi just couldn�t keep a straight face whenever D�Von started quoting Richard Pryor

Fryza:

Scotty: IT'S MORPHING TIME!

BigDaddyCool:

Kurt (thinking): Hmmm, I don't remeber getting a life sized Eddie doll, and more importantly, where is my wallet.

loopydate:

KID: Hey, Bradshaw. I have a note for you.
JBL (reading): "John. Sorry to get your hopes up, but your push timer is almost up. Better luck next draft lottery. Vince."

Big Show was elated. He knew he had voted 20,000 times. His mom's computer was working again!

REF: So, Spike, you're telling me that on RAW, the referees didn't have to wear these gay armbands?

KURT: Ladies and gentlemen. It is my pleasure to inform you all that we - the Bears - are the Shufflin' Crew.

COLE (sobbing): If--if only he hadn't bought Brock that laptop. He might still be here!

Nowhere Man:

No one was quite sure what the strange Sign Guy meant by "They're Indestructable and Use Them The Wood," but if they had just asked him instead of dismissing him as a lunatic, the horrific Super Termite Invasion of 2006 could have been prevented.

Eddie was getting pretty tired of Kurt's desperate attempts to one-up the WWE Champion. Yeah, the Olympic Gold Medals were impressive and stuff, but by the time he'd started breaking out his old Pinewood Derby trophies, it was pretty obvious that he was scraping the bottom of the barrel.

Teddy Long finds your lack of faith disturbing.

Angle was proud to announce the competitors for the fourth annual Stupid Clothes for White People competition.

Mixing all of the Undertaker's Dead Man and Biker gimmicks was confusing enough, but making him an undead cowboy biker pimp was the last straw.

04-09-2004, 03:18 AM	#11
Corkscrewed Posts: 18,357	APRIL SmackDOWN! [4-1-2004] Face Heely: Eddie Guerrero proudly unveils the new "Latino Heat Asshat," available now on WWE ShopZone! Rock Bottom: Bradshaw: Are you the cruiserweight I'm here to bury? Driver: No hablo- Bradshaw: (Cutting him off) Thanks little buddy. Know where I might find this "Hablo" character? When your penis is that large, it certainly takes alot out of you to masturbate. And thus, Booker one-upped Brock, by disintegrating Holly's entire head with a piledriver. Cena: This dog should be the new mascot for the WWE! Not only does it live and breathe WWE, but it shits WWE too! Bradshaw: And this pink right here represents some heavy heat and humidity pouring through the area. A little to the west of that, there is some light rainfall, and I guess that giant Mexican guy is like El Nino or something. Taker: Well Eddie, looks like putting on that cowboy hat got you a huge pop, guess you owe me 20 bucks. Corkscrewed: Long: "The Man is holding down the brotha. See, D-Von, you didn't even notice that Bubba borrowed some of Rhyno's crazy glue to paste a thermal detonator onto your cheek." Cena: "Hey Renee, how come YOU get to hang out with Stephanie?" The depush of Eddie Guerrero began as he was appointed Official SmackDOWN! Boogers Inspector. Innovator: Haas: Ha! gotcha leg! RVD: Ha! gotcha push! Haas: ...dirty mother**er Even the limo threw the horns up for Cena Big Daddy Cool: Cena and Bradshaw agree, he's a homo. loopydate: CENA: And now I will use my powers to...TURN SYLVAN GRENIER INTO A POODLE! After he broke his nose, Eddie knew that the only one who could take care of him was Kurt "Booboo Kisser" Angle. LAWYER: Mister Bradshaw, would you please point to whomever it was that put you in the giant marshmallow? EDDIE: I'm going to sit on you so hard, your hat will be the only thing sticking out. BRADSHAW: I'd like to see you try! (Moments later) EDDIE: Ow. Big Vito 22: RVD does his best Kevin Nash impersonation. RAW [4-5-2004] MVP:** Johnny: "Hey remember that time on Nitro when Bret Hart beat you for the World Heavyweight Title?" Benoit: "You better shut up." Johnny: "Remember when you got screwed out of keeping World Heavyweight Title at Souled Out?" Benoit: "Remember that time your arm "spontaneously" broke?" Johnny: "No...snap OWWWWW!!" The new Mick Foley brand toothbrush did not sell well. No one jobbed to Chris Benoit in a nappy match. Wondermouse: The chair wasn't all that comfortable, but Christian had to appreciate the state of the art slutholder. Now his hand didn't get all wet from the natural condensation. loopydate: REGAL: Hello, sunshine. ERIC: Oh, hi, William. Good to see you. REGAL: Yes, well, I just thought I'd inform you that I have come to replace Steve Austin as your backstage nemesis, so to speak. ERIC: Oh. Well, thank you for informing me. REGAL: You're quite welcome. Now, would you please direct me to the ladies' locker room. ERIC: Down the hall to the left. Why do you ask? REGAL: Oh, no reason. Cracks knuckles See you soon. ANNCR: And the lucky winner is the fan seated in section 1, row 1, seat 1! TRISH: Did we just win? FAN: Riiiiiiiigged! MICK: This cotton candy looks kind of str--OW! Steven Richards: Master Archer ERIC: ...hope you don't mind that I put down in words / How wonderful life is while you're in the world... MICK: Dude, that was bro awesome man sweet dawg! HBK: Rubbish. Absolute rubbish. BENOIT: Hey! Why do I have to be Paula? PETER/PAUL/MARY: No need to rub it in, asshole. JamesSteele: Triple H: Who dare sayeth I have a small penis? Dave (To Ric): That's what Randy Told me... Ric: I am not telling you anything you don't already know... Triple H: Who said that? Rock Bottom: Shelton had to be the dumbest guy in the planet for agreeing to his rematch with Triple H being a "nose war." Shelton: Alright Trips, get ready to go over me. Triple H: Wait a m- Shelton: Contract said I'd put you over, didnt say how! El Santo: Trips: "Heh... don't worry, Shelton. You won't be buried like the Hurricane." Shelton: "Uh, Hunter... Nose. Growing." Trips: "Dammit." The Ref was at a loss when Steven Richards snatched his Philly cheese steak. Mick was kinda perplexed by the size of Big Show's Q-tip. There were few things that could faze Hunter, but unsightly earwax buildup just grossed him out. When Chris finally realized that he was being stalked by Shelob, it was too late. Corkscrewed: Mick Foley's heel turn was complete as he revelled in the victory of stealing the Olympic Torch. A-Train kicked off his newest angle by running down Orton with a locomotive, doing it "for the Ric." Chris was devastated when Triple H took his belt just like that without a match or anything, but at least Evolution gave him a pinfall over a steel chair so that he could retain some of his credibility. "At last, the gold is mine agai-- What the? Dammit Invisible Crucifix! I have the belt now! You can stop targetting people that hold gold!" Sascha: Eugene: HHH put a glass ceiling for me right here. Regal: Then after your match with Hunter, you will go into the golden box. Innovator: Regal: Hello Eric, I'm back Biscoff: MR. BEAN!!!!!! Regal:....oh shit I know Christian is enjoying having Trish with him, but he's got to watch out for that Imperial Walker behind him Jericho: Couple more seconds and I've won... Ref: Sorry Chris, I can't ring the bell for any Canadians anymore, strict rules Jericho: But I live in NY now Ref: Oh, in that case rings bell Jericho: sucker SmackDOWN! [4-8-2004] Rock Bottom: Angle had copied Charlie's whopper for the last time. Bush: Haha, I got it. I hacked into the votes. My competition won't stand a chance... Now let's see... (Stupified look, starts typing) Eddie: What the hell!? I am the President of the United States!? (Somewhere in D.C.) Bush: God... Damnit! What is WRONG with this thing!? (Still typing) Michael Jackson's first Hug a Little Boy foundation meeting was a success. Eddie Guerrero had all sorts of things in his pocket to use as an illegal object, including the mummified penis of John Bobbit. Eddie Guerrero as a Final Fantasy 1 character was a big success, with equipment such as S. Chair, WWE Belt. But if only the thief chose the right pillar to prove his courage, he could become a ninja. Kane Knight: Bradshaw, doing his impression of Neo from the Matrix... Ten minutes later... An hour after the TV equipment has been packed up... El Santo: Like the mighty baboon, Rikishi often frightened off his enemies by flashing his vibrant buttocks. Scotty's mime gimmick stalled when he couldn't find a way out of his invisible box. Say what you want about Theodore Long, but the man could freestyle like a motherf*er. Sure, everyone made fun of Eddie's portrait, but no one was laughing when it pulled out two lightsabers. Corkscrewed: It was quite obvious from this picture: Scotty did NOT know Kung Fu. Angle: "See? WWE polls are fair! They are NOT fixed!" Cena: "Yeah... not fixed..." Vince: "Hey Bradshaw, I want you to learn some new moves!" JamesSteele: John Cena had Danny Basham beat until he spontaniously broke out into a complete rendition of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" Eddie's E-Bay addiction was starting to get the best of him. Wondermouse: Bradshaw was impressed. That was a helluva one-minute manicure. Haas: Why didn't you tell me those green shorts were ridiculous!? Jindrak was puzzled, when, looking into the monitor, he saw Mick Foley in the stands. Face Heely: Rikishi just couldn�t keep a straight face whenever D�Von started quoting Richard Pryor Fryza: Scotty: IT'S MORPHING TIME! BigDaddyCool: Kurt (thinking): Hmmm, I don't remeber getting a life sized Eddie doll, and more importantly, where is my wallet. loopydate: KID: Hey, Bradshaw. I have a note for you. JBL (reading): "John. Sorry to get your hopes up, but your push timer is almost up. Better luck next draft lottery. Vince." Big Show was elated. He knew he had voted 20,000 times. His mom's computer was working again! REF: So, Spike, you're telling me that on RAW, the referees didn't have to wear these gay armbands? KURT: Ladies and gentlemen. It is my pleasure to inform you all that we - the Bears - are the Shufflin' Crew. COLE (sobbing): If--if only he hadn't bought Brock that laptop. He might still be here! Nowhere Man:** No one was quite sure what the strange Sign Guy meant by "They're Indestructable and Use Them The Wood," but if they had just asked him instead of dismissing him as a lunatic, the horrific Super Termite Invasion of 2006 could have been prevented. Eddie was getting pretty tired of Kurt's desperate attempts to one-up the WWE Champion. Yeah, the Olympic Gold Medals were impressive and stuff, but by the time he'd started breaking out his old Pinewood Derby trophies, it was pretty obvious that he was scraping the bottom of the barrel. Teddy Long finds your lack of faith disturbing. Angle was proud to announce the competitors for the fourth annual Stupid Clothes for White People competition. Mixing all of the Undertaker's Dead Man and Biker gimmicks was confusing enough, but making him an undead cowboy biker pimp was the last straw. Last edited by Corkscrewed; 04-14-2004 at 03:34 AM.