Foul Ball Etiquette

[RoXer]

At what age is it no longer right to keep a foul ball? I would argue that on your 18th birthday, you give up that freedom (in exchange for some other freedoms) and yet no one really talks about it.

If you are over 18 and you catch a foul ball you must:

- Give it to your kid. Or a younger family member who attended the game with you. Or a kid nearby. Or a kid next to a hot chick. This is the move.

- Give it to your date. Probably the only thing that 1ups the "give it to a kid" rule. If your date doesn't want it, give it to a kid nearby.

- Give it to your old man who has never caught a foul ball in his entire life of going to baseball games. If he has caught a foul ball, give it to a kid nearby.

If there are no kids or hot chicks nearby, then I guess you can keep it. But the reason why you should give it away is because it will make you feel better, it will make you look better in the eyes of others, and really, wtf are you going to do with a foul ball? Frame it? Put it on a mantle?

Like if you are over 18 and you kept the foul ball, then what did you do with it? Took it home? When your friends asked what that ball was on your mantle did you say "oh yeah, I caught a foul ball one time"? But did you really need the foul ball itself to tell the story? Is it because you have that superpower where you touch an object and instantly know it's entire history?

No. It's because you're a douchbag. You could have easily told that story without having the physical ball. And you could have added "and I gave it to this kid and he had the happiest smile on his face" or "and then I gave it to this chick and we went out a couple times and then I married her".

If you are over 18 and you catch a foul ball then, and I'm really sorry to inform you of this because they never told us this during our childhood when we were beginning to discover our love for the game, you have to get rid of it. It is the law.