The Best Captions of 2004 Thread

**Corkscrewed** · 01-09-2004, 03:49 AM

Every week, I'll update this thread with what I think are the best captions of the week. I was originally gonna do a Top 5 List in my sig, but apparently, sigs can only have up to 5 characters, so I guess I'll just turn this into an actual thread.

I'm not going to put any of my own captions (to be fair, since I wouldn't be able to judge them partially) unless someone suggests I do (hint hint).

At the end of the year, hopefully I can set up a poll or something and we can choose the best caption of the year and the best captioneer or something.

Top Captions of 2004

JANUARY

SmackDOWN! [1-1-2004]
Loopydate:

Big Show does wrestling fans the world over a favor by eating Hardcore Holly.

Eddie didn't mind holding Shelton's hand and helping him across the ring, but did he HAVE to sing Whitney Houston songs while they did it?

Vastardikai:

Chavo: What do you MEAN that you hit me with a burrito?

jbone829:

Poking a Wolverine, another side effect of hunger......have a Snickers.

RAW [1-5-2004]
Loopydate:

REF: Jesus, Jazz, "Jazz Hands" are a dance phrase. She wasn't insulting you. There's no need to give her a black eye!
JAZZ: Black eye? BLACK eye?!? What are you trying to say?
REF: Oh, shit...

Backstage, Triple H chuckled. That invisible crucifix was certainly worth the investment.

Good Ol JG:

The first annual "Dudley Bowling" game was a huge success.

Jericho finally knew why Trish had to spend all that time in makeup, but he sure as hell didn't like it.

Kane Knight:

This was, perhaps, the dumbest slow-speed police chase in the history of Tennesee...

Loose Cannon:

Jazz, "Do you see him"
Trish, "Oh my god, you were right. He's in a cage.
Jazz, "Yep, that's what happens when your gimmick becomes more popular then Vince wants it too."
Trish, Poor Sean...

Jericho, "Oh my god Hunter"
Hunter, "Chris...OH UM...I...
Satan's Voice "Come on Hunter...It's Time to drink from the Fountain of Eternity.

Coldwaver:

Victoria: Shoot this man in the ass!
Stevie: Someone already did that caption.
Victoria: Then shoot him in the crotch!
Stevie: NOOOOOOOOO!!!

A second later the arena imploded when they inhaled at the exact same time.

SmackDOWN! [1-8-2004]
Loopydate:

KURT: Swing me! Swing me!
EDDIE: Chavito, are you sure Dr. Jho said there wouldn't be any after-effects of the surgery?
KURT: Come on, mommy! Swing me!

NUNZIO: Chucky, look! I'm being elevated! I'm being--oh, shit.

Danny taunted Scotty. While Doug convinced Scotty to spell out "antidisestablishmentarianism" instead of his usual "worm," Danny clocked him with the belt! Those wacky Bashams!

After botching a move, Chavo had to go to the "Time Out Chair."

CHEAGOL: Give it to us, Eddieagol my love.
EDDIEAGOL: No. I found it.
CHEAGOL: Give us the precious.
EDDIEAGOL: Why?
CHEAGOL: It's my birthday, and I wants it.

Corkscrewed:

Chavo: "Damnit! Mae Young left her panties in the lowrider again."

Evidently, Cena the Trash Man didn't do a good job in the ring and missed about four objects.

Holly: "Stupid. Chair. Dammit... Easy-Fold my ass!"

Good Ol JG:

Living proof that a one-legged man CAN win an ass kicking contest...as long as the man's name is Christ Benoit...and his opponent is Johnny Stamboli.

Benoit reacts to the trailor for the upcoming "Shave This! A-Train's Greatest Matches" DVD showing on the Titan Tron.

Patrick: "Hey look at me, I'm Tugboat! TOOT TOOT!"

Vince: "Since the Japanese love the American Hulk Hogan so much, the Americans would HAVE to love a Japanese Hogan just as much. Am I right? You KNOW I'm right, damnit! Ok...tell that Benoit guy he's still not getting pushed and have Rhyno job to a jar of mayonaise this week. Meeting adjourned."

Always450:

Brock: (after the Billy Gunn clip of the Smoking Gunns beating The 1-2-3 Kid and Bob �Sparkplug� Holly) Hardcore Holly was THAT small?
Holly: Shut up, Lesnar!
Brock: But you were tiny!!!!
Holly: And you were a nerd, and I have proof!
Brock: No! Holly! Buddy, Pal! I was kidding!
Holly: Show the footage!

Brock: *crying* It�s true! I even read War and Peace, for fun! I coded HTML in Latin!

RAW [1-12-2004]
Corkscrewed:

Bubba was just as puzzled as anyone to see that he'd suddenly turned into a centaur.

In an effort to reclaim his career, Kane laid the sacrificial Booker T upon the Altar of Helmsley but was disappointed to learn that Trips had "been there" and "done that."

By the time Austin finally worked up the nerve to ask for directions on how to get to Texas, he'd already driven to Canada.

Loopydate:

We all knew Trips THOUGHT with his dick. Who knew he SPOKE with it, too?

When hunting Mark Henrys, it's important to bring the proper equipment. Once you've distracted him with the glazed ham you left at ringside, you must capitalize quickly.

Orton learned a painful lesson that night. Never break up with Carrie on national television.

Kane Knight:

The ref wanted to DQ Batista, but thanks to the femminist lobby, breast feeding was now a legal move in the WWE.

jbone829:

"You are getting sleepy...very very sleepy...I have paid my dues...very sleepy"

Always450:

A sure sign that ticket sales have gone down--wrestlers who are in the match have to sit in the front row.

Loose Cannon:

Lita shows off the effects of what drinking 10 YJ Stingers consecuitively can do to one's arm.

Vastardikai:

Lil Kim was a little TOO enthused about meeting Lita...

The Naitch:

Much to Randy's disapproval, a bird with PMS decided to unload on him.

Fryza:

Bill: Oh oh, oh ah!
Steiner: OH OH! AH AH!
Bill: OH OH OH OH, AH OH AH AH!

Yes, howler monkeys are VERY territorial. But the less intelligent ones will begin fighting for reasons that probably escape them too.

SmackDOWN! [1-15-2004]
Loopydate:

Jamie and Nidia were nervous. They knew the Empire of the Sun had never forgiven the States for Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but now that the gay Nazi referee was on their side, wrestling's version of WWII was going to get ugly...

Eddie learns that he, too, can cause the Butterfly Effect.

TAZZ: Look, Cole! Chavo's standing, and I think he's going to deliver a shot on Eddie!
COLE: That's not Edward James Olmos...

Mexican Standoff: Two or more people with guns at the ready, prepared to fire upon each other (as seen in films like Reservoir Dogs)
Italian Standoff: Two or more people with fingers at the ready, prepared to call each other homos (as seen in tonight's SmackDown)

Chuck was taken aback. Who knew that Nunzio could morph into Kurrgan?

It was bad enough that Rhyno's role in the company is shrinking down to nothing. Do they have to actually SHRINK Rhyno down while they're doing it?

Corkscrewed:

Fearing Eddie was getting too over, Vince McMahon had Scotty beam him up with the teleport ray. Unfortunately, he missed.

The emotion of the segment totally broke down when all of the sudden, instead of continuing to pummel Eddie, Chavo Jr. started going crazy on his air guitar.

John checked his rocket shoes one last time. He was breaking through that glass ceiling dammit!
...or crash trying.

Heyman always picked the worst times to check for hernias.

Cena: "Ooh, I found berries." *scarfs down berries*
Rhyno: "No, wait! They might be poisonous! ...... Well, how are they?"
Cena: "They taste like.... burrrrrrning..."

Cena: "Paul, what would YOU do for a Klondike Bar?"

Loose Cannon:

Alright John, the 'I got your nose' gag stopped being funny after the 11th time.

Heyman, "NO More"
Cena, "I've got.... cough cough.... your nose

Big Show tried to entertain the crowd with the 'Robot Dance,' but Funaki would have none of it.

After all hopes of building a fort in the ring failed, the three men tried there luck with a game of pinata.

Nowhere Man:

Scotty's attempt at a Vader Bomb ends with tragic results.

No one was sure what the point of "John Cena Gargoyles" was, but damn if they didn't look realistic.

Unlike most people, who have a small angel and devil on their shoulders, Cena always got attacked by miniature versions of former ECW champions every time he had to make a moral decision.

The F-U was a powerful maneuver by itself, but for some reason, doing a Fire Marshall Bill impression while delivering it was absolutely devastating.

Always450:

Being a good, clean, honorable man, Charlie Hass takes it upon himself to start the SmackDown �Say No To Crack� campaign.

Paul knew he was in trouble� If John Cena can destroy the table with his backhand, lord knows what he could do to the human body!

The first round of full contact rock-paper-scissors came to a draw as they both drew �rock.�

I�ve seen some people use God, Money, and Bombs in rock-paper-scissors, but did he really need to use �ass?�

El Santo:

Scotty: "So.... Power Twins routine?"
Rikishi: "Been done."
Scotty: "Dammit."
Rikishi: "Well, you could play the gentlemanly Mr. D'Arcy and I could play the precocious Elizabeth..."
Scotty: "Oh, God no."

Good Ol JG:

Funaki: "Piggy-back ride, piggy-back ride!"
Big Show: "Piggy-back ride? Piggy-back? Back? Baby Back Ribs? Mmmmmm....ribs...."

Big Show: "I WANT MY DAMN BABY BACK RIBS!"
Funaki: "I DON'T HAVE THEM SHOW, I SWEAR!"
Big Show's madness over his ribs grew to the point where the crowd sat in horror as he poured BBQ Sauce on Funaki and ate him...

jbone829:

The first ever Chinese fingertrap match didn't go over too well.

No matter how much props everyone gave Scotty, he couldn't carry Rikishi to a good match.

01-09-2004, 03:49 AM	#1
Corkscrewed Posts: 18,357	The Best Captions of 2004 Thread Every week, I'll update this thread with what I think are the best captions of the week. I was originally gonna do a Top 5 List in my sig, but apparently, sigs can only have up to 5 characters, so I guess I'll just turn this into an actual thread. I'm not going to put any of my own captions (to be fair, since I wouldn't be able to judge them partially) unless someone suggests I do (hint hint). At the end of the year, hopefully I can set up a poll or something and we can choose the best caption of the year and the best captioneer or something. Top Captions of 2004 JANUARY SmackDOWN! [1-1-2004] Loopydate: Big Show does wrestling fans the world over a favor by eating Hardcore Holly. Eddie didn't mind holding Shelton's hand and helping him across the ring, but did he HAVE to sing Whitney Houston songs while they did it? Vastardikai: Chavo: What do you MEAN that you hit me with a burrito? jbone829: Poking a Wolverine, another side effect of hunger......have a Snickers. RAW [1-5-2004] Loopydate: REF: Jesus, Jazz, "Jazz Hands" are a dance phrase. She wasn't insulting you. There's no need to give her a black eye! JAZZ: Black eye? BLACK eye?!? What are you trying to say? REF: Oh, shit... Backstage, Triple H chuckled. That invisible crucifix was certainly worth the investment. Good Ol JG: The first annual "Dudley Bowling" game was a huge success. Jericho finally knew why Trish had to spend all that time in makeup, but he sure as hell didn't like it. Kane Knight: This was, perhaps, the dumbest slow-speed police chase in the history of Tennesee... Loose Cannon: Jazz, "Do you see him" Trish, "Oh my god, you were right. He's in a cage. Jazz, "Yep, that's what happens when your gimmick becomes more popular then Vince wants it too." Trish, Poor Sean... Jericho, "Oh my god Hunter" Hunter, "Chris...OH UM...I... Satan's Voice "Come on Hunter...It's Time to drink from the Fountain of Eternity. Coldwaver: Victoria: Shoot this man in the ass! Stevie: Someone already did that caption. Victoria: Then shoot him in the crotch! Stevie: NOOOOOOOOO!!! A second later the arena imploded when they inhaled at the exact same time. SmackDOWN! [1-8-2004] Loopydate: KURT: Swing me! Swing me! EDDIE: Chavito, are you sure Dr. Jho said there wouldn't be any after-effects of the surgery? KURT: Come on, mommy! Swing me! NUNZIO: Chucky, look! I'm being elevated! I'm being--oh, shit. Danny taunted Scotty. While Doug convinced Scotty to spell out "antidisestablishmentarianism" instead of his usual "worm," Danny clocked him with the belt! Those wacky Bashams! After botching a move, Chavo had to go to the "Time Out Chair." CHEAGOL: Give it to us, Eddieagol my love. EDDIEAGOL: No. I found it. CHEAGOL: Give us the precious. EDDIEAGOL: Why? CHEAGOL: It's my birthday, and I wants it. Corkscrewed: Chavo: "Damnit! Mae Young left her panties in the lowrider again." Evidently, Cena the Trash Man didn't do a good job in the ring and missed about four objects. Holly: "Stupid. Chair. Dammit... Easy-Fold my ass!" Good Ol JG: Living proof that a one-legged man CAN win an ass kicking contest...as long as the man's name is Christ Benoit...and his opponent is Johnny Stamboli. Benoit reacts to the trailor for the upcoming "Shave This! A-Train's Greatest Matches" DVD showing on the Titan Tron. Patrick: "Hey look at me, I'm Tugboat! TOOT TOOT!" Vince: "Since the Japanese love the American Hulk Hogan so much, the Americans would HAVE to love a Japanese Hogan just as much. Am I right? You KNOW I'm right, damnit! Ok...tell that Benoit guy he's still not getting pushed and have Rhyno job to a jar of mayonaise this week. Meeting adjourned." Always450: Brock: (after the Billy Gunn clip of the Smoking Gunns beating The 1-2-3 Kid and Bob �Sparkplug� Holly) Hardcore Holly was THAT small? Holly: Shut up, Lesnar! Brock: But you were tiny!!!! Holly: And you were a nerd, and I have proof! Brock: No! Holly! Buddy, Pal! I was kidding! Holly: Show the footage! Brock: crying It�s true! I even read War and Peace, for fun! I coded HTML in Latin! RAW [1-12-2004] Corkscrewed: Bubba was just as puzzled as anyone to see that he'd suddenly turned into a centaur. In an effort to reclaim his career, Kane laid the sacrificial Booker T upon the Altar of Helmsley but was disappointed to learn that Trips had "been there" and "done that." By the time Austin finally worked up the nerve to ask for directions on how to get to Texas, he'd already driven to Canada. Loopydate: We all knew Trips THOUGHT with his dick. Who knew he SPOKE with it, too? When hunting Mark Henrys, it's important to bring the proper equipment. Once you've distracted him with the glazed ham you left at ringside, you must capitalize quickly. Orton learned a painful lesson that night. Never break up with Carrie on national television. Kane Knight: The ref wanted to DQ Batista, but thanks to the femminist lobby, breast feeding was now a legal move in the WWE. jbone829: "You are getting sleepy...very very sleepy...I have paid my dues...very sleepy" Always450: A sure sign that ticket sales have gone down--wrestlers who are in the match have to sit in the front row. Loose Cannon: Lita shows off the effects of what drinking 10 YJ Stingers consecuitively can do to one's arm. Vastardikai: Lil Kim was a little TOO enthused about meeting Lita... The Naitch: Much to Randy's disapproval, a bird with PMS decided to unload on him. Fryza: Bill: Oh oh, oh ah! Steiner: OH OH! AH AH! Bill: OH OH OH OH, AH OH AH AH! Yes, howler monkeys are VERY territorial. But the less intelligent ones will begin fighting for reasons that probably escape them too. SmackDOWN! [1-15-2004] Loopydate: Jamie and Nidia were nervous. They knew the Empire of the Sun had never forgiven the States for Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but now that the gay Nazi referee was on their side, wrestling's version of WWII was going to get ugly... Eddie learns that he, too, can cause the Butterfly Effect. TAZZ: Look, Cole! Chavo's standing, and I think he's going to deliver a shot on Eddie! COLE: That's not Edward James Olmos... Mexican Standoff: Two or more people with guns at the ready, prepared to fire upon each other (as seen in films like Reservoir Dogs) Italian Standoff: Two or more people with fingers at the ready, prepared to call each other homos (as seen in tonight's SmackDown) Chuck was taken aback. Who knew that Nunzio could morph into Kurrgan? It was bad enough that Rhyno's role in the company is shrinking down to nothing. Do they have to actually SHRINK Rhyno down while they're doing it? Corkscrewed: Fearing Eddie was getting too over, Vince McMahon had Scotty beam him up with the teleport ray. Unfortunately, he missed. The emotion of the segment totally broke down when all of the sudden, instead of continuing to pummel Eddie, Chavo Jr. started going crazy on his air guitar. John checked his rocket shoes one last time. He was breaking through that glass ceiling dammit! ...or crash trying. Heyman always picked the worst times to check for hernias. Cena: "Ooh, I found berries." scarfs down berries Rhyno: "No, wait! They might be poisonous! ...... Well, how are they?" Cena: "They taste like.... burrrrrrning..." Cena: "Paul, what would YOU do for a Klondike Bar?" Loose Cannon: Alright John, the 'I got your nose' gag stopped being funny after the 11th time. Heyman, "NO More" Cena, "I've got.... cough cough.... your nose Big Show tried to entertain the crowd with the 'Robot Dance,' but Funaki would have none of it. After all hopes of building a fort in the ring failed, the three men tried there luck with a game of pinata. Nowhere Man: Scotty's attempt at a Vader Bomb ends with tragic results. No one was sure what the point of "John Cena Gargoyles" was, but damn if they didn't look realistic. Unlike most people, who have a small angel and devil on their shoulders, Cena always got attacked by miniature versions of former ECW champions every time he had to make a moral decision. The F-U was a powerful maneuver by itself, but for some reason, doing a Fire Marshall Bill impression while delivering it was absolutely devastating. Always450: Being a good, clean, honorable man, Charlie Hass takes it upon himself to start the SmackDown �Say No To Crack� campaign. Paul knew he was in trouble� If John Cena can destroy the table with his backhand, lord knows what he could do to the human body! The first round of full contact rock-paper-scissors came to a draw as they both drew �rock.� I�ve seen some people use God, Money, and Bombs in rock-paper-scissors, but did he really need to use �ass?� El Santo: Scotty: "So.... Power Twins routine?" Rikishi: "Been done." Scotty: "Dammit." Rikishi: "Well, you could play the gentlemanly Mr. D'Arcy and I could play the precocious Elizabeth..." Scotty: "Oh, God no." Good Ol JG: Funaki: "Piggy-back ride, piggy-back ride!" Big Show: "Piggy-back ride? Piggy-back? Back? Baby Back Ribs? Mmmmmm....ribs...." Big Show: "I WANT MY DAMN BABY BACK RIBS!" Funaki: "I DON'T HAVE THEM SHOW, I SWEAR!" Big Show's madness over his ribs grew to the point where the crowd sat in horror as he poured BBQ Sauce on Funaki and ate him... jbone829: The first ever Chinese fingertrap match didn't go over too well. No matter how much props everyone gave Scotty, he couldn't carry Rikishi to a good match. Last edited by Corkscrewed; 02-05-2004 at 06:25 PM.