Taking one for the team...

[Kane Knight]

Okay, I've offered up quite a few solutions to save wrestling. I think that my "Negro League" thread proves I have what it takes to be the savior of pro wretling. There's only one thing holding me back:

I'm an internet fan. Nobody in the WWE will listen to me (Except maybe Willy the Worker and the disgruntled Stevie Richards), because there's a taboo about it. The authority scoffs at the likes of me, you, and everyone else here (Well, except Rockgurl...She's the WWE's best friend...).

The solution is simple: Marry one of the PTBs. It's how Triple H established his power base within the WWE. Unfortunately, he took the easy one. I mean, she obviously is unconcerned with penis size or charisma. And with her voice, beggars can't be choosers. Shane would work, if it were legal and he wasn't already taken. Hell, even Taker is married. So what's a savior to do?

My plan starts with a poolboy job for the McMahons. I will sex up Linda. She's not a looker, or charming, but I imagine Vince doesn't pay much attention to her. Except the occasional juicing of his grapefruits when the new Viagra shipment comes in.

From there, I will begin to whisper advice to Linda, using our *shudder* passion as leverage. This will allow me some input into the creative process, and eventually lead to a position of leadership.

So when you hear rumours about my sickening love affair, remember that I'm taking one for the team, so that you can see a Negro League, Orton jobbing to the handbag, The Rock and John Cena tying the knot, and Jerry Seinfeld: Hardcore Champion by early 2009. Matt Hardy's dismissal was the last straw. IT's time for us net fans to fight fire with fire.