Royal Rumble Captions

[Corkscrewed]

Haven't seen others. Sorry for any copycats.




Rey continues his spiritual ways when he dedicates his entire Royal Rumble match to Sean O'Haire.



'Just great,' Carlito thought. 'Out of all the people in the damn ring, I'm the one who finds the ring spot Rhino worked on...'


Lashley wasn't sure how he'd snare this one. This would prove to be his greatest challenge yet...



You know HHH is starting to lose it when he tries to throw a guy over the top rope and ends up "Goldberging" himself on the corner post.


REY, EUGENE, & RVD: "How do you like being under the glass ceiling now, BITCH!!!"


No one was quite sure why Masters decided to bring his novelty giant raisin to the ring.


"Potheads don't just fall out of the sky, ya know..."


"What?! PREGNANT????"


Even Vince found that story about Steph getting jungle fever to be mildly disturbing...


VINCE: "Gimme my money man!!! Where's my money, huh? You stiffing me, man! I don't like it! Gimme my money!"


SHANE: "Where's your god now???"


That Shane, even able to take the time to walk his invisible dog.


Backstage, Vince scratched his head. This wasn't exactly the order he'd pictured his stars elevated.


Orton was sent to carry the Rey Rey Bot backstage after it malfunctioned following its 495,828th match dediction to Eddie.


Try as he might, Rey just couldn't land that part in King Kong.


"Ooooh, a peso!"


If Cena on strings didn't prove he was merely a wooden puppet, nothing would!


LITA: "No! I must cover my nakedness!!!"
CENA: "Erm... you're wearing a top."
LITA: "Oh."
EDGE: (thinking) 'Awesome, now no one will notice my awful hair day!"


Cena's STF may be shoddy, but his Banshee Scream resulted in immediate submission.


See above.


Cena may have won the belt, but he was unprepared for his next challenger: The 500 MPH Super Air Blowing Fan.



Why in the world the photographer only wanted to photograph Henry's butt I'll never know.


"Shoes! Shoes! I must have your chocolate shoes!!!"


It was a sad day for the wrestling community when Mark Henry managed to make Kurt Angle his bitch.



KURT: "LOOK AT THIS CHAIR!!! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!! SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY TO SIT ON A CHAIR???"
MARK: "Boohoo hooo!!! I'm sorry!! I don't wanna see how me bent da chair!!!"



"LOOK AT IT!!!!!!!"


Not just a tremendous grappler, Kurt Angle was also a world class stretching trainer.


For all the wrestling fans who needed physical proof Angle was god...



Kurt couldn't believe Mark had tried to sit down again.



TAKER: "I'm on a cheap aluminum chariot being pulled by a white horse. If this doesn't convince them I'm trailer trash, then nothing ever will."


Taker's rendition of the YMCA was a huge hit with the fans.


Mickie's version of the Harry Potter flying leap resulted in the climax of voyeurs everywhere.


Mickie loved playing airplane with Ashley!


...not to mention underground boring machine.


STEPH: Heh heh heh... and you thought they only made crucifixes for guys...


TRISH: "Are you SURE you're just helping her stretch?"
MICKIE: "Okay, you got me. We were gonna have lesbian sex."
CROWD:



Mickie's celebration was overshadowed by Trish wearing the hottest ref outfit ever.


On days when Jamie didn't use Right Guard, this move was particularly devastating.


"LASSSSHHHHLEEEEEEYY!!!!!"


The starry porn censor was a little off the mark.


HELMS: "I may be a homo, but at least I'm a champion homo!!!!"


But then came the new champion congratulatory Steven Richards enema.


This re-enactment of King Kong was particularly emotional.


With the wizards at WETA, Kong could even be made to be a worm monster!!!!


Marty Wright does his best Kobe Bryant impersonation...