WWE RAW Captions Thread (6/8/04)

**Mayo** · 06-08-2004, 11:02 PM

My first attempt at Raw or Smackdown captions:

Stacy: What the hell? I'm wearing a really skanky dress, I'm not wearing any underwear, and lots of horny males are looking at me. These prom flashbacks are starting to annoy me!

Gail & Lita: Be like The Rock! Be like The Rock!

Now the answer to the long pondered question "What happens when The Hulk has an orgasm?".

Randy: I know that we are only supposed to do this in the locker room, but your bulging manhood is too much to resist!

*grabs a handful*

Dave: Take me now!

Chris: Wait a minute... so the gimp guy was Keyzer Soze?

Edge: Yeah I know, like, a TOTAL plot twist!

(Rep for the movie that they are talking about)

Rock: Hey honey, if I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?

Jessica: Like I haven't heard that one before.

Jericho: God A-Train, when are you going to shave your back?

A-Train: When your wife finally shaves her crotch.

Jericho:

A-Train: Okay, okay, sorry!!! It was a joke!

*Jericho lets go*

A-Train: Gotcha! And your wife's a real moaner too!

Jericho:

:foc:

Benoit: Damn that King Slender, I need that VWA title if it takes a thousand resets!

The censors in Quebec tried covering up the hardcore WWE programming with their flag, but they were a bit off.

Elrond: Aragorn, get up quickly! The battle for Middle Earth must be fought!

Aragorn: 5 more minutes please!

(doesn't Edge look like him in that pic?)

Benoit: I SAID 5 MORE MINUTES!!!

*slashes Elrond's head off*

The crappy WWE live Peter Pan production did not enjoy rave reviews, to say the least.

Kane: OWWWWW!!!! FUCK THIS HURTS!!! I PULLED A PSYCHO SID!!!

Wolverines are often prey in the forests of the Northeastern Woodland. Here, a giant red-backed Jobber is shown enjoying its hard-fought battle.

Eugene: Dude, you said ANY hole!

Nitro: Man, i'm still new at this! Please no!

Eugene: Give me one good reason why I should stop.

Nitro: I give worse blowjobs than Lita.

Eugene: Damnit! Okay, you got me.

Cable had to get through the timewarp quickly because a horde of Sentinels was pursuing him, and not even Longshot could stop him.

Announcer: And now, our newest lingerie model, Enrique Suave.

Cameraman: Oh yes, brilliant! Smile for the camera darling. BEAUUUUUTIFUL!

Manager: He's a natural!

The referee tries to distract Orton by giving him harmonica lessons, but this only make him strangle harder.

*Orton brutally beats the sneaking Hamburglar*

Children: Stop, stop, he's already dead!

Ref: Yeah, the whole internet community thinks you're green, you lack mic skills, and you need a star group to get you cheap heat. I still think you're dreamy though.

Orton: *swoon*

Shawn: Crap! I have to remember next time to turn the knob first, then pull!

Batista: There's my cousin Rocco, I haven't seen him in 15 years. I wonder if he knows what a star i've become in the WWE. Wait, why's he running? Rocco, I'm over here! Don't you want to be cool and show all your friends that you know a great wrestler like me? Come back!

Michaels was a man possessed when someone teased him about his receding hairline.

Michaels' Wrestlemania 12 entrance was best left for special occasions, and has more of an effect if its not done during an earlier match.

HBK didn't know his own strength anymore. He felt like all he had to do was tap someone with a chair, and they get knocked out instantly!

The battle of the cake mixer hands was underway, with Michaels quickly going for Hunter's face.

HBK: I don't know Hunter. We've been to better hotels than this, the mood just doesn't seem right. And this cameraman keeps touching my ass.

HHH: Shawn, you've always come up with excuses lately! First headaches, then you're too tired, and now this! I have needs, you know!

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06-08-2004, 11:02 PM	#22
Mayo not gayo Posts: 7,676	My first attempt at Raw or Smackdown captions: Stacy: What the hell? I'm wearing a really skanky dress, I'm not wearing any underwear, and lots of horny males are looking at me. These prom flashbacks are starting to annoy me! Gail & Lita: Be like The Rock! Be like The Rock! Now the answer to the long pondered question "What happens when The Hulk has an orgasm?". Randy: I know that we are only supposed to do this in the locker room, but your bulging manhood is too much to resist! grabs a handful Dave: Take me now! Chris: Wait a minute... so the gimp guy was Keyzer Soze? Edge: Yeah I know, like, a TOTAL plot twist! (Rep for the movie that they are talking about) Rock: Hey honey, if I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head? Jessica: Like I haven't heard that one before. Jericho: God A-Train, when are you going to shave your back? A-Train: When your wife finally shaves her crotch. Jericho: A-Train: Okay, okay, sorry!!! It was a joke! Jericho lets go A-Train: Gotcha! And your wife's a real moaner too! Jericho: :foc: Benoit: Damn that King Slender, I need that VWA title if it takes a thousand resets! The censors in Quebec tried covering up the hardcore WWE programming with their flag, but they were a bit off. Elrond: Aragorn, get up quickly! The battle for Middle Earth must be fought! Aragorn: 5 more minutes please! (doesn't Edge look like him in that pic?) Benoit: I SAID 5 MORE MINUTES!!! slashes Elrond's head off The crappy WWE live Peter Pan production did not enjoy rave reviews, to say the least. Kane: OWWWWW!!!! FUCK THIS HURTS!!! I PULLED A PSYCHO SID!!! Wolverines are often prey in the forests of the Northeastern Woodland. Here, a giant red-backed Jobber is shown enjoying its hard-fought battle. Eugene: Dude, you said ANY hole! Nitro: Man, i'm still new at this! Please no! Eugene: Give me one good reason why I should stop. Nitro: I give worse blowjobs than Lita. Eugene: Damnit! Okay, you got me. Cable had to get through the timewarp quickly because a horde of Sentinels was pursuing him, and not even Longshot could stop him. Announcer: And now, our newest lingerie model, Enrique Suave. Cameraman: Oh yes, brilliant! Smile for the camera darling. BEAUUUUUTIFUL! Manager: He's a natural! The referee tries to distract Orton by giving him harmonica lessons, but this only make him strangle harder. Orton brutally beats the sneaking Hamburglar Children: Stop, stop, he's already dead! Ref: Yeah, the whole internet community thinks you're green, you lack mic skills, and you need a star group to get you cheap heat. I still think you're dreamy though. Orton: swoon Shawn: Crap! I have to remember next time to turn the knob first, then pull! Batista: There's my cousin Rocco, I haven't seen him in 15 years. I wonder if he knows what a star i've become in the WWE. Wait, why's he running? Rocco, I'm over here! Don't you want to be cool and show all your friends that you know a great wrestler like me? Come back! Michaels was a man possessed when someone teased him about his receding hairline. Michaels' Wrestlemania 12 entrance was best left for special occasions, and has more of an effect if its not done during an earlier match. HBK didn't know his own strength anymore. He felt like all he had to do was tap someone with a chair, and they get knocked out instantly! The battle of the cake mixer hands was underway, with Michaels quickly going for Hunter's face. HBK: I don't know Hunter. We've been to better hotels than this, the mood just doesn't seem right. And this cameraman keeps touching my ass. HHH: Shawn, you've always come up with excuses lately! First headaches, then you're too tired, and now this! I have needs, you know!