RAW Captions Thread (12/29/03)

**Corkscrewed** · 12-31-2003, 09:55 PM

The failure of the Ortonbot 2000 reduced it from complex interactive robot to world's most expensive paperweight ($5999 at wwweshopzone.com).

RVD, after drifting asea from an island where he was constantly being buried, emerged on a new island as... a GIANT!
(a good rep to anyone who possibly gets that allusion)

Steiner was about to do another push up when suddenly, his muscles snapped, rendering him unable to go down.

Coach (in Aussie accent): "Wow! This here's a real Vincentaurus McMahonasaurus! Check out its confused gaze as I touch it!"

Flair: "I won't tell anyone you look like a bumble bee if you don't tell anyone I look like a zebra!"
Bubba: "DEAL!"

Offstage: "Now, Ric, piroette... Good! Good! Congratulations! You're our new swan princess for next year's Christmas opera!"

Batista: "YOU WILL RESPECT THE SWAN PRINCESS!!!"
Flair: "Woooooooooo!!!"

At that moment, Terri realized she was a washed up old former diva who DEFINITELY couldn't cut it with the new crowd.

Booker T found his new Ortonbot 2000 v.2 just as glitchy and freeze-prone as his original.

More concerning was its tendency to attack and choke people while proclaiming in its stoic, robotic voice, "Hunter will be king."

Offstage: "Hey Booker! Show your O face!"
Booker: "O... O... O..."
(pat yourself on the back if you get that one... it's easy)

Kane was damned if he was gonna let Booker T be elevated above him!

Coach: "The Lindamarion McMahonasaurus is known to be quite confused and stretch its neck in dismay as well!"

Y2J: "Hey Trish, for Christmas, I got you some of my ring ability and skill."
Trish: "Oh thanks! It's-- hey, what's that supposed to mean???"

Stacy felt rather cold down there.

Victoria: "I can't believe Stacy just posed for GGW!!!"
Jackie: "Yeah, but you get $5000 per public nudity exposure."
Victoria: "Really....?"

Lita: "Yeah, and $10,000 for public acts of sexual exhibitionism!"

Trish was pleasantly shocked. No cleavage shots in over two months and suddenly two in on night! This was amazing!"

The girls were ecstatic with relief, having won the first ever "loser has to sleep with Triple H" match.

Mid-match, Shawn looked up in the sky to see a flaming object hurtle towards the ground. Wait, was that his push?

Michaels certainly had a way of being detailed with his prostate exams.

Right about now, Triple H could sure go for some of Edge's Japanese hair shampoo.

At the prospect of Triple H locked in an extended feud with his friend Shawn Michaels, the system glitched, Hunter's left arm morphed into Michael's face, and the first Matrix crashed.

Triple H uses Michaels as leverage when an old man tries to pull him down into the lulls of decrepid midcard hell.

Just one more push and HBK's birth of a fully grown Triple H was a healthy success.

When Bischoff started singing the Barney "I Love You" song, Shawn Michaels got the heck out of there, lest he be like Triple H, who was already knocked out.

It was a hard decision for Shawn to make, pull the finger and get a push, or DON'T pull the figure and face the consequences...

On really hot and passionate nights, both men would end up exhausted after hours of heated love.

Suddenly, Rikishi crashed through the top of the Titantron, aimed straight at Stone Cold as part of the WWE writer's attempt to repeat history and garner higher ratings.

Austin: "Wait, 'kish... so you did it for... The Brock???"

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Switch to Linear Mode Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

12-31-2003, 09:55 PM	#1
Corkscrewed Posts: 18,357	The failure of the Ortonbot 2000 reduced it from complex interactive robot to world's most expensive paperweight ($5999 at wwweshopzone.com). RVD, after drifting asea from an island where he was constantly being buried, emerged on a new island as... a GIANT! (a good rep to anyone who possibly gets that allusion) Steiner was about to do another push up when suddenly, his muscles snapped, rendering him unable to go down. Coach (in Aussie accent): "Wow! This here's a real Vincentaurus McMahonasaurus! Check out its confused gaze as I touch it!" Flair: "I won't tell anyone you look like a bumble bee if you don't tell anyone I look like a zebra!" Bubba: "DEAL!" Offstage: "Now, Ric, piroette... Good! Good! Congratulations! You're our new swan princess for next year's Christmas opera!" Batista: "YOU WILL RESPECT THE SWAN PRINCESS!!!" Flair: "Woooooooooo!!!" At that moment, Terri realized she was a washed up old former diva who DEFINITELY couldn't cut it with the new crowd. Booker T found his new Ortonbot 2000 v.2 just as glitchy and freeze-prone as his original. More concerning was its tendency to attack and choke people while proclaiming in its stoic, robotic voice, "Hunter will be king." Offstage: "Hey Booker! Show your O face!" Booker: "O... O... O..." (pat yourself on the back if you get that one... it's easy) Kane was damned if he was gonna let Booker T be elevated above him! Coach: "The Lindamarion McMahonasaurus is known to be quite confused and stretch its neck in dismay as well!" Y2J: "Hey Trish, for Christmas, I got you some of my ring ability and skill." Trish: "Oh thanks! It's-- hey, what's that supposed to mean???" Stacy felt rather cold down there. Victoria: "I can't believe Stacy just posed for GGW!!!" Jackie: "Yeah, but you get $5000 per public nudity exposure." Victoria: "Really....?" Lita: "Yeah, and $10,000 for public acts of sexual exhibitionism!" Trish was pleasantly shocked. No cleavage shots in over two months and suddenly two in on night! This was amazing!" The girls were ecstatic with relief, having won the first ever "loser has to sleep with Triple H" match. Mid-match, Shawn looked up in the sky to see a flaming object hurtle towards the ground. Wait, was that his push? Michaels certainly had a way of being detailed with his prostate exams. Right about now, Triple H could sure go for some of Edge's Japanese hair shampoo. At the prospect of Triple H locked in an extended feud with his friend Shawn Michaels, the system glitched, Hunter's left arm morphed into Michael's face, and the first Matrix crashed. Triple H uses Michaels as leverage when an old man tries to pull him down into the lulls of decrepid midcard hell. Just one more push and HBK's birth of a fully grown Triple H was a healthy success. When Bischoff started singing the Barney "I Love You" song, Shawn Michaels got the heck out of there, lest he be like Triple H, who was already knocked out. It was a hard decision for Shawn to make, pull the finger and get a push, or DON'T pull the figure and face the consequences... On really hot and passionate nights, both men would end up exhausted after hours of heated love. Suddenly, Rikishi crashed through the top of the Titantron, aimed straight at Stone Cold as part of the WWE writer's attempt to repeat history and garner higher ratings. Austin: "Wait, 'kish... so you did it for... The Brock???"