The official wrestling sim topic

[Evil Vito]

After thinking long and hard about it and listening to all they had to offer, I couldn't decide between Lana, Renee, and Penelope so I simply chose all three. As I wrote this show Lana gave me a shoulder massage, Renee fanned me with a huge leaf and Penelope fed me grapes. I gotta say this whole "being the head booker" thing is pretty swell.


AEW Dark: May 11, 2021:
-Kip Sabian def. QT Marshall
-Powerhouse Hobbs def. Billy
-Dr. Britt Baker def. Yuka Sakazaki
-Frankie Kazarian def. Peter Avalon
-The Inner Circle (Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager) def. The Dark Order (Alex Reynolds and John Silver)
-Cody Rhodes def. Jack Evans


AEW Dynamite: May 12, 2021

Segment 1:

Kenny Omega is out with Don Callis, sign up list in hand, to open the show and run the gauntlet. Or is he? You see, Kenny's stamina is unmatched in this business. As Callis explains, between the number of wrestlers who signed up and Kenny's unmatched stamina, he could easy wrestle for over an hour, maybe even the entire two hours of the broadcast. That's simply not fair to the other matches that had been signed for the card.

But instead, he'll give fans the next best thing - a title defense! Kenny Omega believes in rewarding people who take initiative, and so he is more than happy to grant a title opportunity to the very first person who stepped up to the plate and signed up for the gauntlet.

He hands the list over to Kenny to make the big announcement. Kenny looks at it, turns the list upside down, and calls in his next challenger, come on down MICHAEL NAKAZAWA!!!!! 89% overall


Segment 2:

The crowd boos ferociously. Michael Nakazawa is possibly the biggest jobber in the company (and also the least over at 47 overall), hell he's only in the company as a favor to Kenny as they go way back to their days at DDT Wrestling in Japan. How the hell is he getting a title shot?

The whole thing is a big sham as Kenny dispatches of Nakazawa with haste, and Callis towels him off after his hard fought victory. But the crowd gets what they really want as PAC and Rey Fenix run in afterwards to run off Kenny and keep the feud going. He also delivers some news straight from the desk of Kurt Angle: Kenny will face Rey Fenix next week! Give Naka's abysmal overness the rating for this was never going to be great in-game but I don't care, this whole scenario would pop me. **3/4, 74% overall


Segment 3:

Miro arrives backstage, asking Kip Sabian over the phone where he is, apparently Kip has some car trouble. It looks like someone slashed a tire in the parking lot. Before Miro even knows what hit him, Jon Moxley has pounced on him and gets Miro right where he wants him in a 1 on 1 situation. The two throw haymakers as officials intervene. 88% overall


Segment 4:

Over the weekend, it was announced that Awesome Kong vs. Nyla Rose was officially signed for Double or Nothing. Both women picked partners for a tag match, Kong went with her recent rival Hikaru Shida who share mutual respect with one another. Nyla went with Mel, Kong's former associate in the Nightmare Collective.

Mel's substantially less over than everyone else in the match so it's fairly clear what her purpose is here. At one point Mel goes to make a desperate tag but Rose decides to fuck off as she and Vickie retreat, leaving Mel to take the brunt of the beating and the loss. ***, 74% overall


Segment 5:

Team Taz runs down Best Friends, especially Orange Cassidy. Taz attempts to justify Brian Cage's assault on Cassidy last week. Who does that aloof moron think he can upstage "The Machine"? Enter Orange Cassidy, Chuck Taylor, and Kris Statlander. Orange points at Cage's TNT Championship and looks at the Double or Nothing poster in the background. Orange lays down a challenge without saying a single word. 83% overall


Segment 6:

Another match signed over the weekend sees Dustin Rhodes back at it, attempting to beat some sense into MJF in a Bullrope match. MJF deplores having to waste his time wrestling someone who should have retired years ago, but quickly gets a reality check when Dustin beats the ever loving fuck out of him early on.

MJF has to get on the defensive and eventually find his mean streak, conveniently after Wardlow intervened. MJF goes to town with the bullrope, using the no DQ nature of the match to beat Dustin bloody with the bell at the end of the rope. South Hamptons Plunge onto the bell and MJF wins.

MJF tells everyone that Cody has challenged him to a match at Double or Nothing, but MJF has already beaten Cody once. Why should he grant him another match? Just like the last time they faced off, MJF will only do it on HIS terms. Last time he gave Cody three stipulations to get to the match, and it's gonna be no different this time. Cody will learn these stipulations in due time. As a final insult, he busts out the Double Cross (Cross Rhodes) on Dustin right onto the bell to get the win. ***, 80% overall


Segment 7:

Last week Eddie Kingston became the first man to announce his entry into the Casino Battle Royale, tonight he faces another man who has declared in Matt Sydal. I thought these two might be a clash of styles with Eddie being a brawler and Sydal being a speed guy, but they ended up meshing extremely well. Despite being the self proclaimed toughest man in wrestling, Kingston once again couldn't close the deal without help from Butcher and the Blade, spinning backfist after a distraction finishes it.

"Everybody Dies" hits as Lance Archer appears on the ramp with Jake Roberts. Archer has not forgotten Kingston screwing him over a couple of weeks ago. On the tron, they show the finish of the 2020 Casino Battle Royale in which Archer eliminated Kingston to win the match (referencing events from previous years? That's allowed?) History is gonna repeat itself in a few weeks because Archer is back in the Casino Battle Royale too. ***1/2, 85% overall


Segment 8:

A video package for Darby Allin plays. He speaks of unfinished business with MJF for what he did to Sting, but he'll wait until MJF's done getting his reckoning from the Rhodes boys. After losing his TNT Title, he's keen to get back into the title picture, so he too is entering the Casino Battle Royale. 74% overall


Segment 9:

We have our second tag match in the #1 contender mini tournament. Evil Uno and Stu Grayson of The Dark Order face off against FTR, with the winners to face Santana and Ortiz next week for the Double or Nothing title shot against The Bucks.

I'm seeing firsthand how much the tag experience rating comes into play. FTR have teamed for 7 years and Uno and Grayson (formerly the Super Smash Brothers on the indies) have been teaming for 15 years, so both teams gel very well and they've got similar in-ring stats to boot. So yeah, this was easily match of the night to the tune of a 95% quality.

With Tully Blanchard and Shawn Spears being nuisances at ringside, it seems FTR will connive their way victory only for the music of SCU to hit. Frankie Kazarian and Scorpio Sky emerge and corner Spears at ringside. Spears tries to leave for the crowd but OH SHIT Christopher Daniels is in the crowd waiting for him! SCU are on a united front putting a beating on Spears, which distracts FTR in the ring. Dax Harwood is thrown out and Cash Wheeler takes a Fatality as Dark Order pick up the win! ****1/4, 84% overall


Segment 10:

Medics are checking on Dustin backstage as Cody is checking in on him. Dustin wants nothing more than to see Cody get his hands on MJF. But after the beating he took tonight, he's coming to a conclusion he thought he never would: it might be time to put this old body down.

Cody tries to talk some sense into Dustin and tell him he's still got fight in the tank. Before he can get too far with his speech though, the Inner Circle show up "coming in peace" as MJF tells Cody his first stipulation: Dustin better get his old ass back in gear if he wants Cody to get his match, because next week the Rhodes Boys have to wrestle Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager.


Segment 11:

The AEW cage looks a bit more bedazzled than usual, courtesy of Hangman Page as he looks to build off of the momentum the Dark Order just built by settling the score once and for all over Matt Hardy.

The two more or less have a prototypical cage match hitting the usual spots as the announcers remind us of their history while also saying that while this match will be their last one on one encounter for now, they may cross paths again sooner than they'd like as both men have also been confirmed for the Casino Battle Royale.

At one point, Matt manages to hit Hangman with a sick looking Twist of Fate from the top. He instinctively goes for the pin but alas, no pins allowed in AEW cage matches. Matt slowly makes his way up the cage, looking like he's actually going to pull it off! He gets to the corner of the cage, looks down at Hangman and his hatred of Hangman seems to have him contemplating a leg drop from the top as the crowd dares him to do it.

He then scoffs and asks the fans "what do you think I am, some kind of spot monkey?" and starts laughing in amusement at his triumph. He laughs a bit too long as when he opens his eyes, Hangman is straddling the top of the cage with him. Matt sells it with great facial expressions and Hangman lariats Matt off the top, sending him crotch first into the rope below. Hangman climbs down and jumps to the floor for the big win. Matt looks in disgust as Hangman drinks a celebratory beer as Dynamite goes off the air. ***1/4, 88% overall

82% overall show rating

[Evil Vito]

After a raucous few nights in the bedroom with Allie and trying to avoid being murdered by The Butcher and The Blade, I'm back for another week.




AEW Dark: May 18, 2021:
-Dr. Britt Baker def. Leva Bates
-"Absolute" Ricky Starks def. QT Marshall
-Chuck Taylor def. Brian Pillman Jr.
-The Dark Order (Colt Cabana, Alex Reynolds, and John Silver) def. Luther, Serpentico, and Peter Avalon
-Shawn Spears def. Brandon Cutler
-Darby Allin def. Angelico


AEW Dynamite: May 19, 2021

Segment 1:

We were scheduled to open with tag team action but instead, "Superbad" Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford hit the ring before the Dynamite intro could even finish and he immediately talked trash on Jon Moxley, accusing him of slashing his tires last week. He challenged Mox to a fight right there, right now.

I think everybody knew Miro would be just waiting to pounce to beat on Mox with his best friend, but I don't think it came soon enough for Kip. I also don't think Kip was expecting Kurt Angle to send referee Mike Posey out to the ring to turn it into an impromptu match. Mox didn't even take his jacket off, flattening Kip with a few lariats and a Paradigm Shift in a quick win.

As Penelope tends to her beau, out comes Miro finally. Miro marches down to the ring only to think better of it, wanting to save it for Double or Nothing in 10 days. ***, 78% overall


Segment 2:

And from that, we move into our actual scheduled opener. Cody and Dustin are out first to a big hand from the crowd. Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager are out next accompanied by MJF and Wardlow.

MJF addresses Cody on the mic on the way down, stating his second stipulation if he is to agree to face Cody at Double or Nothing. You might think he's going to make Cody put his career on the line against him, but he's not going to do that. He's going for something even more personal...he knows how hard Cody Rhodes fought to reclaim his name from some rich guy, well if Cody loses, he can sign those naming rights right back over to another one. Cody Rhodes will be dead forever and MJF will own him.

This seemed to just stoke a fire for both of the Rhodes boys, as they started the match with a house of fire and took Guevara and Hager to the proverbial woodshed. They end up having themselves a good tag match. Cody and Sammy brawl in the ring not as the legal man, Sammy slips to the outside to take a breather with MJF and Wardlow only for Cody to hit a Moonsault to the outside on all of them.

This distracts Hager long enough for Dustin to spin him around and hit him with the Final Reckoning! And it's over! The Rhodes brothers get the win and it's an enormous victory for Dustin as well, calling back to his loss against Hager way back at Revolution 2020. This seems to fire up Dustin who last week was questioning his future.

An incensed MJF gets back on the mic. "Hey Cody, remember how I said I wasn't going to make you put your career on the line against me? I was telling the truth. Instead, you're going to have to win a match next week when the opponent is putting his career against you. You want me next at Double or Nothing? You have to win a career threatening match against...DUSTIN RHODES!!!" Mic drop. MJF is the biggest dickhead of all time. ***1/4, 83% overall


Segment 3:

The Dark Order are backstage hanging out in a big locker room. Adam Page, Evil Uno, and Stu Grayson are talking about their wins from last week as Silver and Reynolds play foosball and Colt enjoys some fancy massage chair. Eddie Kingston, The Butcher, and The Blade make a surprise appearance. Kingston and Page, two of the favorites for the Casino Battle Royale, get in each others face and a brawl between the groups is teased. I love a good stable war. 81% overall


Segment 4:

"Where is My Mind?" by the Pixies hits which means Orange Cassidy is on his way to the ring with Chuck Taylor for more tag team action against Powerhouse Hobbs and Ricky Starks of Team Taz. Another pretty solid tag match that sees OC's Double or Nothing opponent Brian Cage attempt to interject himself only for Orange to send Ricky Starks into him, crashing him off the apron. Superman Punch to Starks and the faces get the win.

The big hosses Cage and Hobbs get back into the ring for the 3 on 2 beatdown until Kris Statlander appears on the ramp and waves somebody out from the back. It's........Trent? We haven't seen him in months coming off of a torn pectoral muscle! Trent hits the ring and helps rid Taz's minions. The four Best Friends all look at each other and have a big group hug. ***, 77% overall


Segment 5:

We have even MORE tag drama as we cut backstage to see FTR meeting Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian in the hallway, Tully lays down the formal challenge for Double or Nothing, as FTR wants to get the revenge on SCU they deserve. It leads to all 4 men brawling which leads to officials having to intervene. It's fun having so many teams and stables to book, imagine having actual tag depth? 79% overall


Segment 6:

Nyla Rose dipped out of her tag match last week but this week it was no such option as she was made to face Hikaru Shida and per orders of Kurt Angle, Nyla getting herself counted out would cause a forfeit. The two are no strangers to each other, with Shida hholding a 2020 triumph over Rose to win the AEW Women's Title.

The two continued the streak of good matches on this week's Dynamite, gelling well together. Vickie Guerrero at one point undoes one of the middle turnbuckle pads and Rose sends the unsuspecting Shida into it with a drop toe hold. Shida is out cold and Rose grabs the cheap win.

Vickie Guerrero laughs at the victory, but the face of elation turns to one of pure terror as Awesome Kong arrives at ringside and grabs Vickie by the hair, prompting her shrill scream. Kong doesn't hurt Vickie (yet) but does carve out a lock of her hair all as Rose looks on mortified. ***, 77% overall


Segment 7:

Young Bucks interview. Usual interview asking if they have any preferences on the #1 contenders match coming up (spoiler alert: they don't). Not much here, just had to get these over guys onto the show. 88% overall


Segment 8:

#1 contenders tag match: Santana and Ortiz of Inner Circle vs. Uno and Grayson of Dark Order. Do we continue our streak? You god damn right we do. This is turning out to be one of the better Dynamites in terms of in-ring quality and the crowd reactions have steadily been getting better too.

The heels turn to their weapon of choice (the madball/rock in a sock) in this one, Ortiz waffling Grayson with it when he was sent into the ropes. Santana, perhaps sending a direct message to the Bucks, follows up with a Superkick to finish it off.

Santana and Ortiz earn the Double or Nothing title shot, as the announcers mention they're one of the few teams to have a victory over the Bucks in AEW. The Bucks stand up at the commentary table and face their new challengers. ***1/2, 82% overall


Segment 9:

The Rhodes Brothers are backstage. Cody is distraught. MJF's head games have reached a new low. He already agreed to put his Cody Rhodes name on the line, but that third stipulation MJF laid out is too far. He can't bring himself to put his older brother out of the very business his father brought him into.

Dustin gets in Cody's face, giving the kind of tough love only an older brother can give. Dustin basically tears Cody a new one for even considering to think about forfeiting this opportunity and surrendering his name over to that snot nosed, Long Island scumbag. "Besides, why are you assuming you'd win?" And with that, Dustin slaps Cody clean across the face and walks off. 80% overall


Segment 10:

Main event of the evening sees AEW World Champion Kenny Omega face off against Rey Fenix of Death Triangle. To say the least, this was a far greater challenge than what Michael Nakazawa brought to the table last week. The two are no strangers to one another and had an excellent, high octane bout.

Kenny throws Fenix out of the ring and hams it up to the crowd before distracting referee Aubrey Edwards. At ringside, Rey Fenix is suddenly jumped by a "fan" in a Fenix mask. The fan throws Fenix back in the ring as Don Callis on commentary blasts AEW security for having no control. Fenix is easy prey as Omega hits a V-Trigger for the win. The "fan" breaks away from security and hugs Don Callis, unmasking of course as Karl Anderson.

Callis and Karl laugh it up as Omega decides to put Fenix up for a One Winged Angel for good measure. But before he can, Anderson takes a lariat to the back of the head from PAC and PAC runs in to save his bud. ****, 86% overall


Segment 11:

Kurt Angle cuts off Kenny's retreat to the back with another big announcement for Double or Nothing. We already knew Kenny would be defending his title against PAC - but Kenny won't be able to be up to his old tricks. PAC's been screwed twice now by cheating and interference, and to ensure that doesn't happen again and the two have enough time to settle the score once and for all - everyone will be banned from ringside as they do battle in a 30 minute Iron Man Match! 89% overall

82% overall show rating

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito After a raucous few nights in the bedroom with Allie and trying to avoid being murdered by The Butcher and The Blade, I'm back for another week. AEW Dark: May 18, 2021: -Dr. Britt Baker def. Leva Bates -"Absolute" Ricky Starks def. QT Marshall -Chuck Taylor def. Brian Pillman Jr. -The Dark Order (Colt Cabana, Alex Reynolds, and John Silver) def. Luther, Serpentico, and Peter Avalon -Shawn Spears def. Brandon Cutler -Darby Allin def. Angelico

Hmm...I think I might actually warm up to Allie if she got an attitude like that of just flipping off the camera...and for other reasons....

AEW Dynamite: May 19, 2021 Segment 1: We were scheduled to open with tag team action but instead, "Superbad" Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford hit the ring before the Dynamite intro could even finish and he immediately talked trash on Jon Moxley, accusing him of slashing his tires last week. He challenged Mox to a fight right there, right now. I think everybody knew Miro would be just waiting to pounce to beat on Mox with his best friend, but I don't think it came soon enough for Kip. I also don't think Kip was expecting Kurt Angle to send referee Mike Posey out to the ring to turn it into an impromptu match. Mox didn't even take his jacket off, flattening Kip with a few lariats and a Paradigm Shift in a quick win. As Penelope tends to her beau, out comes Miro finally. Miro marches down to the ring only to think better of it, wanting to save it for Double or Nothing in 10 days. ***, 78% overall

IMPROMPTU OPENING MATCHES REEK OF SPONTANEITY! There has to be a way to squeeze in more of the women in this, right....emphasis on 'squeeze'....

Segment 2: And from that, we move into our actual scheduled opener. Cody and Dustin are out first to a big hand from the crowd. Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager are out next accompanied by MJF and Wardlow. MJF addresses Cody on the mic on the way down, stating his second stipulation if he is to agree to face Cody at Double or Nothing. You might think he's going to make Cody put his career on the line against him, but he's not going to do that. He's going for something even more personal...he knows how hard Cody Rhodes fought to reclaim his name from some rich guy, well if Cody loses, he can sign those naming rights right back over to another one. Cody Rhodes will be dead forever and MJF will own him. This seemed to just stoke a fire for both of the Rhodes boys, as they started the match with a house of fire and took Guevara and Hager to the proverbial woodshed. They end up having themselves a good tag match. Cody and Sammy brawl in the ring not as the legal man, Sammy slips to the outside to take a breather with MJF and Wardlow only for Cody to hit a Moonsault to the outside on all of them. This distracts Hager long enough for Dustin to spin him around and hit him with the Final Reckoning! And it's over! The Rhodes brothers get the win and it's an enormous victory for Dustin as well, calling back to his loss against Hager way back at Revolution 2020. This seems to fire up Dustin who last week was questioning his future. An incensed MJF gets back on the mic. "Hey Cody, remember how I said I wasn't going to make you put your career on the line against me? I was telling the truth. Instead, you're going to have to win a match next week when the opponent is putting his career against you. You want me next at Double or Nothing? You have to win a career threatening match against...DUSTIN RHODES!!!" Mic drop. MJF is the biggest dickhead of all time. ***1/4, 83% overall

That's actually a terrific way of going about this and it would put so much heat on MJF. Question becomes does Dustin go out with a bang or does the DUD show pee on his parade?

Segment 3: The Dark Order are backstage hanging out in a big locker room. Adam Page, Evil Uno, and Stu Grayson are talking about their wins from last week as Silver and Reynolds play foosball and Colt enjoys some fancy massage chair. Eddie Kingston, The Butcher, and The Blade make a surprise appearance. Kingston and Page, two of the favorites for the Casino Battle Royale, get in each others face and a brawl between the groups is teased. I love a good stable war. 81% overall

What, Page couldn't spring for an actual masseuse?

[quote]Segment 4:

"Where is My Mind?" by the Pixies hits which means Orange Cassidy is on his way to the ring with Chuck Taylor for more tag team action against Powerhouse Hobbs and Ricky Starks of Team Taz. Another pretty solid tag match that sees OC's Double or Nothing opponent Brian Cage attempt to interject himself only for Orange to send Ricky Starks into him, crashing him off the apron. Superman Punch to Starks and the faces get the win.

The big hosses Cage and Hobbs get back into the ring for the 3 on 2 beatdown until Kris Statlander appears on the ramp and waves somebody out from the back. It's........Trent? We haven't seen him in months coming off of a torn pectoral muscle! Trent hits the ring and helps rid Taz's minions. The four Best Friends all look at each other and have a big group hug. ***, 77% overall

I'll take a hug from Kris... I imagine we'll be getting some trios out of this?

Segment 5: We have even MORE tag drama as we cut backstage to see FTR meeting Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian in the hallway, Tully lays down the formal challenge for Double or Nothing, as FTR wants to get the revenge on SCU they deserve. It leads to all 4 men brawling which leads to officials having to intervene. It's fun having so many teams and stables to book, imagine having actual tag depth? 79% overall

What, you mean slapping two guys together for a couple of months and then splitting them up for whatever reason doesn't work?

Segment 6: Nyla Rose dipped out of her tag match last week but this week it was no such option as she was made to face Hikaru Shida and per orders of Kurt Angle, Nyla getting herself counted out would cause a forfeit. The two are no strangers to each other, with Shida hholding a 2020 triumph over Rose to win the AEW Women's Title. The two continued the streak of good matches on this week's Dynamite, gelling well together. Vickie Guerrero at one point undoes one of the middle turnbuckle pads and Rose sends the unsuspecting Shida into it with a drop toe hold. Shida is out cold and Rose grabs the cheap win. Vickie Guerrero laughs at the victory, but the face of elation turns to one of pure terror as Awesome Kong arrives at ringside and grabs Vickie by the hair, prompting her shrill scream. Kong doesn't hurt Vickie (yet) but does carve out a lock of her hair all as Rose looks on mortified. ***, 77% overall

Aww, I wanted Vickie to shit her pants. Maybe next time.... I also love how Rose didn't bother doing dick to stop Kong.

Segment 7: Young Bucks interview. Usual interview asking if they have any preferences on the #1 contenders match coming up (spoiler alert: they don't). Not much here, just had to get these over guys onto the show. 88% overall

Someone needs to answer that question one of these days with the Mulkeys.

Segment 8: #1 contenders tag match: Santana and Ortiz of Inner Circle vs. Uno and Grayson of Dark Order. Do we continue our streak? You god damn right we do. This is turning out to be one of the better Dynamites in terms of in-ring quality and the crowd reactions have steadily been getting better too. The heels turn to their weapon of choice (the madball/rock in a sock) in this one, Ortiz waffling Grayson with it when he was sent into the ropes. Santana, perhaps sending a direct message to the Bucks, follows up with a Superkick to finish it off. Santana and Ortiz earn the Double or Nothing title shot, as the announcers mention they're one of the few teams to have a victory over the Bucks in AEW. The Bucks stand up at the commentary table and face their new challengers. ***1/2, 82% overall

Bask in the stars when it happens. It's quality shows that are going to help you get to that next level past National, if you aren't there already.

Segment 9: The Rhodes Brothers are backstage. Cody is distraught. MJF's head games have reached a new low. He already agreed to put his Cody Rhodes name on the line, but that third stipulation MJF laid out is too far. He can't bring himself to put his older brother out of the very business his father brought him into. Dustin gets in Cody's face, giving the kind of tough love only an older brother can give. Dustin basically tears Cody a new one for even considering to think about forfeiting this opportunity and surrendering his name over to that snot nosed, Long Island scumbag. "Besides, why are you assuming you'd win?" And with that, Dustin slaps Cody clean across the face and walks off. 80% overall

^This. This is good shit. It's like the whole Batista/Michaels/Flair thing but with not quite as talented people involved. The dick in me would have Cody just mercilessly beat his brother but the generous side of me would just have Dustin be graceful about it and just lie down. We'll shall see...

Segment 10: Main event of the evening sees AEW World Champion Kenny Omega face off against Rey Fenix of Death Triangle. To say the least, this was a far greater challenge than what Michael Nakazawa brought to the table last week. The two are no strangers to one another and had an excellent, high octane bout. Kenny throws Fenix out of the ring and hams it up to the crowd before distracting referee Aubrey Edwards. At ringside, Rey Fenix is suddenly jumped by a "fan" in a Fenix mask. The fan throws Fenix back in the ring as Don Callis on commentary blasts AEW security for having no control. Fenix is easy prey as Omega hits a V-Trigger for the win. The "fan" breaks away from security and hugs Don Callis, unmasking of course as Karl Anderson. Callis and Karl laugh it up as Omega decides to put Fenix up for a One Winged Angel for good measure. But before he can, Anderson takes a lariat to the back of the head from PAC and PAC runs in to save his bud. ****, 86% overall

All Anderson was doing was showing his support for Fenix. He really wanted him to get the win so that's why he helped get him back into the ring....

Segment 11: Kurt Angle cuts off Kenny's retreat to the back with another big announcement for Double or Nothing. We already knew Kenny would be defending his title against PAC - but Kenny won't be able to be up to his old tricks. PAC's been screwed twice now by cheating and interference, and to ensure that doesn't happen again and the two have enough time to settle the score once and for all - everyone will be banned from ringside as they do battle in a 30 minute Iron Man Match! 89% overall 82% overall show rating

Iron Man Matches for the win!!! The next time I do one I'm going to have the heel demand that the match be a thirty-ONE minute match and when asked why he can answer because he likes to go one step extra.

[Evil Vito]

I had a fairly enjoyable journey to another planet with Kris Statlander and now it's back for another week of programming.




AEW Dark: May 25, 2021:
-Karl Anderson def. Marko Stunt
-Jurassic Express def. Private Party
-Matt Sydal def. Peter Avalon
-FTR def. Alex Reynolds and John Silver
-Kris Statlander def. Allie
-Miro def. Joey Janela

It was another non-clicking Dark despite some solid in-ring work, but I breathe a sigh of relief in hopes that I'll be in the clear for Dynamite and Double or Nothing.

I also receive a notice that Jack Evans has suffered a Torn Calf and will be out for 9 months. Given that he just turned 39 and his main in-ring quality is speed......yeah, that doesn't bode well for him unfortunately.


AEW Dynamite: May 26, 2021

We have sort of a NJPW influenced Dynamite tonight in that we've got several big multi-man tags so as to avoid giving away too much, keeping people fresh, and not burning anybody out before the PPV.


Segment 1:

A trios match kicks us off as the surprising return of Trent? last week leads to the logical progression of Best Friends and Orange Cassidy facing off against Team Taz. Brian Cage and Powerhouse Hobbs as the two strongest men in the match make Trent?'s return a living hell in the early going before the face squad can get some momentum. Fun trios action, Orange does a tope suicida on the outside to Cage and Hobbs and lives to pay the price and the two big guys are focused on weakening him for Saturday, leaving Starks alone in the ring to take a Strong Zero from Best Friends as the faces get the win. ***, 77% overall


Segment 2:

Kenny Omega and Don Callis join us LIVE via satellite. The AEW World Champion and his challenger PAC were both ordered by Kurt Angle to stay home tonight to ensure they are in peak physical condition for their Iron Man match on Saturday, but there is undue speculation that Callis played a part in it. Either way PAC should consider himself lucky because Kenny totally would've waffled him with the gold like he has so many times in the past. 83% overall


Segment 3:

SCU's Scorpio Sky vs. Shawn Spears from Tully's crew. The match serves a dual purpose of adding to the build to the SCU vs. FTR tag match on Saturday and also gives both of these men a chance to build to their participation in the Casino Battle Royale. SCU's attempts to intervene are thwarted by Daniels and Kazarian which sets Sky up for a flash pin victory. **3/4, 74% overall


Segment 4:

We're backstage with Cody and Dustin ahead of their monumentally important match tonight. They are watching footage from AEW's very first show - Double or Nothing 2019, just two days shy of being exactly two years ago. On that show, Cody faced off against Dustin in a critically acclaimed war that saw them pull out the Dustiest match they could.

Dustin was sporting the crimson mask that night and fully prepared to retire after that match, but Cody offered to bring him along for the ride in AEW and he's never looked back. He has no regrets about the last two years he's spent in the company, and he's not ready to hang 'em up. He wants to keep his career going, but he also wants to see MJF get his ass kicked. He won't get everything he wants, but he does know that if he doesn't give Cody the fight of his life tonight, he'll be doing him a disservice. 82% overall


Segment 5:

In a preview of some of the chaos we could expect in the Casino Battle Royale - ten of the participants paired off in odd combinations as Darby Allin, Lance Archer, and Matt Sydal along with "Hangman" Adam Page and Colt Cabana of the Dark Order did battle against the Inner Circle's Jake Hager and Sammy Guevara plus Eddie Kingston, Karl Anderson, and "Big Money" Matt Hardy.

A lot of unique pairings in the ring but also previous rivalries being revisited as Darby charged at Sammy as soon as the bell rang, still with a score to settle after Sammy played a role in ending Sting's career. Meanwhile the self proclaimed toughest man in wrestling Eddie Kingston had no problems tagging out as soon as rival Lance Archer tagged in, leading to an Archer vs. Hager hoss fight instead. All the while, Matt Hardy made ill attempts to schmooze with all of his partners and convince them to leave their respective groups and sign with the Matt Hardy Brand instead.

As always, hell eventually breaks loose with bodies flying everywhere. Especially Darby's as he showed completely reckless abandon, performing a Coffin Drop onto most of the competitors. Eddie Kingston and Colt Cabana are the legal men, Eddie whipped into the corner and Colt attempts a Flying Asshole but it misses, Eddie backfists Colt into oblivion and the heels get the W. ***1/4, 81% overall


Segment 6:

After the bell, the brawl spills back into the ring with everyone throwing haymakers as Eddie slithers out of the ring. The toughest man in wrestling grabs a mic and while safely escaping through the crowd talks mad shit about everyone in the ring. 81% overall


Segment 7:

Awesome Kong gets her final tune-up ahead of Saturday's title defense, facing her former Nightmare Collective partner Mel. Mel is pretty much a total afterthought in real life AEW and actually hasn't wrestled since last year, all AEW talent were given the chance to opt out of pandemic tapings and she has yet to return. In this game though she has use as she's a solid brawler and gels well with Kong. Kong however dispatches of her with the Soul Collector and Nyla Rose jumps her after the bell with Vickie Guerrero barking orders. ***, 75% overall


Segment 8:

Miro and Jon Moxley were also ordered away from the building by Angle, if only to avoid them killing each other before the PPV. Miro has taken his night off to do a live reaction to Dynamite on his Twitch stream, we check in with him only for Moxley to find a way to tap into his Stream and deliver a scathing warning for what's to come on Saturday. Considering they're both over and charasmatic a "confrontation" angle between the two didn't go as well as I hoped. Guess the fans want to see them fight, not talk. 78% overall


Segment 9:

Our final multi-man tag match of the evening. With MJF forcing Cody to compete tonight, Angle wasn't going to let MJF have a full night off for himself. It's Inner Circle's MJF, Wardlow, and #1 contenders Santana and Ortiz vs. AEW Tag champion Young Bucks and Dark Order's Evil Uno and Stu Grayson who were cheated out of a win last week.

Another fun multi-man on a show full with them, nobody has to go too hard but everyone gets their shit in. Uno and Grayson handle Santana and Ortiz on the outside and MJF thinks better of intervening any further, leaivng his bodyguard Wardlow to take a pair of Superkicks from the Bucks for the face win. ***1/4, 81% overall


Segment 10:

Our final interview of the evening, also LIVE via satellite, sees PAC deliver his closing remarks to Kenny Omega. After all he's done to PAC over the past 3 months, Kenny should just consider himself lucky that he'll only have to be brutalized for 30 minutes. 87% overall


Segment 11:

Brother vs. Brother, Rhodes vs. Rhodes in our emotional main event with high stakes. In a matter befitting of Dusty, this would've been primarily an old school brawl with one or both men getting color and a nice bevy of false finishes. Sadly this didn't hold a candle to their real life encounter from two years ago but given Dustin's age and the amount his skills eroded after his birthday in-game, he still churned out a more than respectable performance in this final run including here and the crowd was into it (85%) which is not bad at all for a guy who at this stage is pretty low on the totem pole.

Cody kicks out of Final Reckoning, much to Dustin's shock. Dustin tries to see through the blood and pick him up to do another but Cody slides off and ends up behind him, Cross Rhodes. 1-2-3 and Cody wins while immediately sinking into Dustin's chest in sadness.

The two share an emotional embrace as the crowd applauds. Cody takes his leave allowing Dustin to soak up the adulation from the crowd as they chant "Thank you Dustin". In a nod to the old school wrestling traditions, Dustin takes off his boots and leaves them in the center of the ring. The Rhodes Brothers walk up the ramp together and hold each other's hands high. MJF and Wardlow jump them from behind to rob the emotional moment away and get nuclear heat. JR and Tony Schiavone say MJF can go to hell as we go off the air! ***, 82% overall


80% overall rating for Dynamite

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito I had a fairly enjoyable journey to another planet with Kris Statlander and now it's back for another week of programming.

Checking out Uranus, no doubt...

AEW Dark: May 25, 2021: -Karl Anderson def. Marko Stunt -Jurassic Express def. Private Party -Matt Sydal def. Peter Avalon -FTR def. Alex Reynolds and John Silver -Kris Statlander def. Allie -Miro def. Joey Janela It was another non-clicking Dark despite some solid in-ring work, but I breathe a sigh of relief in hopes that I'll be in the clear for Dynamite and Double or Nothing.

The dud show is always lurking, ready to strike and be an asshole about things and ruining your hard work.

I also receive a notice that Jack Evans has suffered a Torn Calf and will be out for 9 months. Given that he just turned 39 and his main in-ring quality is speed......yeah, that doesn't bode well for him unfortunately.

I should be thanking the gods that none of my top guys have suffered anything major in regards to injuries. Now I just jinxed it...

AEW Dynamite: May 26, 2021 We have sort of a NJPW influenced Dynamite tonight in that we've got several big multi-man tags so as to avoid giving away too much, keeping people fresh, and not burning anybody out before the PPV. Segment 1: A trios match kicks us off as the surprising return of Trent? last week leads to the logical progression of Best Friends and Orange Cassidy facing off against Team Taz. Brian Cage and Powerhouse Hobbs as the two strongest men in the match make Trent?'s return a living hell in the early going before the face squad can get some momentum. Fun trios action, Orange does a tope suicida on the outside to Cage and Hobbs and lives to pay the price and the two big guys are focused on weakening him for Saturday, leaving Starks alone in the ring to take a Strong Zero from Best Friends as the faces get the win. ***, 77% overall

So, wait, is Trent? is his actual name? Like, what does that even mean?

Segment 2: Kenny Omega and Don Callis join us LIVE via satellite. The AEW World Champion and his challenger PAC were both ordered by Kurt Angle to stay home tonight to ensure they are in peak physical condition for their Iron Man match on Saturday, but there is undue speculation that Callis played a part in it. Either way PAC should consider himself lucky because Kenny totally would've waffled him with the gold like he has so many times in the past. 83% overall

LOL, I love that heel trope of them acting tough when they're not in the same vicinity as their rival. It's shades of the old "I could do that...if I FELT like it" bit.

Segment 3: SCU's Scorpio Sky vs. Shawn Spears from Tully's crew. The match serves a dual purpose of adding to the build to the SCU vs. FTR tag match on Saturday and also gives both of these men a chance to build to their participation in the Casino Battle Royale. SCU's attempts to intervene are thwarted by Daniels and Kazarian which sets Sky up for a flash pin victory. **3/4, 74% overall

Wait, aren't Daniels and Kazarian SCU?

Segment 4: We're backstage with Cody and Dustin ahead of their monumentally important match tonight. They are watching footage from AEW's very first show - Double or Nothing 2019, just two days shy of being exactly two years ago. On that show, Cody faced off against Dustin in a critically acclaimed war that saw them pull out the Dustiest match they could. Dustin was sporting the crimson mask that night and fully prepared to retire after that match, but Cody offered to bring him along for the ride in AEW and he's never looked back. He has no regrets about the last two years he's spent in the company, and he's not ready to hang 'em up. He wants to keep his career going, but he also wants to see MJF get his ass kicked. He won't get everything he wants, but he does know that if he doesn't give Cody the fight of his life tonight, he'll be doing him a disservice. 82% overall

It's kind of weird that this is a promotion that's been around for two years and I've never seen a minute of it. Although I can absolutely picture the two of them doing a segment like this.

Segment 5: In a preview of some of the chaos we could expect in the Casino Battle Royale - ten of the participants paired off in odd combinations as Darby Allin, Lance Archer, and Matt Sydal along with "Hangman" Adam Page and Colt Cabana of the Dark Order did battle against the Inner Circle's Jake Hager and Sammy Guevara plus Eddie Kingston, Karl Anderson, and "Big Money" Matt Hardy. A lot of unique pairings in the ring but also previous rivalries being revisited as Darby charged at Sammy as soon as the bell rang, still with a score to settle after Sammy played a role in ending Sting's career. Meanwhile the self proclaimed toughest man in wrestling Eddie Kingston had no problems tagging out as soon as rival Lance Archer tagged in, leading to an Archer vs. Hager hoss fight instead. All the while, Matt Hardy made ill attempts to schmooze with all of his partners and convince them to leave their respective groups and sign with the Matt Hardy Brand instead. As always, hell eventually breaks loose with bodies flying everywhere. Especially Darby's as he showed completely reckless abandon, performing a Coffin Drop onto most of the competitors. Eddie Kingston and Colt Cabana are the legal men, Eddie whipped into the corner and Colt attempts a Flying Asshole but it misses, Eddie backfists Colt into oblivion and the heels get the W. ***1/4, 81% overall

Kingston and Hardy are the MVPs of this match with their awesome douchenessity. It doesn't appear Page brought out anything absurdly expensive this time around so I'll imagine that he brought custom Dark Order merchandise for the rest of his partners to wear.

Segment 6: After the bell, the brawl spills back into the ring with everyone throwing haymakers as Eddie slithers out of the ring. The toughest man in wrestling grabs a mic and while safely escaping through the crowd talks mad shit about everyone in the ring. 81% overall

Well, obviously he has to do it from that location. Clearly he would have just been bumping into people if he'd stayed in the ring....

Segment 7: Awesome Kong gets her final tune-up ahead of Saturday's title defense, facing her former Nightmare Collective partner Mel. Mel is pretty much a total afterthought in real life AEW and actually hasn't wrestled since last year, all AEW talent were given the chance to opt out of pandemic tapings and she has yet to return. In this game though she has use as she's a solid brawler and gels well with Kong. Kong however dispatches of her with the Soul Collector and Nyla Rose jumps her after the bell with Vickie Guerrero barking orders. ***, 75% overall

I'd have to imagine that right now, more than any other time, is a shit time to be in the professional wrestling business if you're looking for a steady stream of reliable income and the pandemic would have just aggravated that. I wonder how some of these guys and gals are making out.

Segment 8: Miro and Jon Moxley were also ordered away from the building by Angle, if only to avoid them killing each other before the PPV. Miro has taken his night off to do a live reaction to Dynamite on his Twitch stream, we check in with him only for Moxley to find a way to tap into his Stream and deliver a scathing warning for what's to come on Saturday. Considering they're both over and charasmatic a "confrontation" angle between the two didn't go as well as I hoped. Guess the fans want to see them fight, not talk. 78% overall

Oh, I fucking HATE that shit when you've got two guys who you think would draw a good rating because of their stats but the game just decides it doesn't give a fuck. I swear to Ash I've lost count as to how many segments I've done that have been in the shitter despite all participants being at 85 or over in terms of charisma. I've found that it affects people who don't have the Superstar Look stat checked more than those who do. I'm also amused at the idea of someone who looks like Miro/Rusev doing a Twitch stream and playing something like Shantae or Little Big Planet.

Segment 9: Our final multi-man tag match of the evening. With MJF forcing Cody to compete tonight, Angle wasn't going to let MJF have a full night off for himself. It's Inner Circle's MJF, Wardlow, and #1 contenders Santana and Ortiz vs. AEW Tag champion Young Bucks and Dark Order's Evil Uno and Stu Grayson who were cheated out of a win last week. Another fun multi-man on a show full with them, nobody has to go too hard but everyone gets their shit in. Uno and Grayson handle Santana and Ortiz on the outside and MJF thinks better of intervening any further, leaivng his bodyguard Wardlow to take a pair of Superkicks from the Bucks for the face win. ***1/4, 81% overall

MJF just had a cramp and had to walk to off. Those things can be crippling if you don't take of it right away....

Segment 10: Our final interview of the evening, also LIVE via satellite, sees PAC deliver his closing remarks to Kenny Omega. After all he's done to PAC over the past 3 months, Kenny should just consider himself lucky that he'll only have to be brutalized for 30 minutes. 87% overall

SWERVE! Angle makes it a 60-minute Iron Man Match at the 11th hour!

Segment 11: Brother vs. Brother, Rhodes vs. Rhodes in our emotional main event with high stakes. In a matter befitting of Dusty, this would've been primarily an old school brawl with one or both men getting color and a nice bevy of false finishes. Sadly this didn't hold a candle to their real life encounter from two years ago but given Dustin's age and the amount his skills eroded after his birthday in-game, he still churned out a more than respectable performance in this final run including here and the crowd was into it (85%) which is not bad at all for a guy who at this stage is pretty low on the totem pole. Cody kicks out of Final Reckoning, much to Dustin's shock. Dustin tries to see through the blood and pick him up to do another but Cody slides off and ends up behind him, Cross Rhodes. 1-2-3 and Cody wins while immediately sinking into Dustin's chest in sadness. The two share an emotional embrace as the crowd applauds. Cody takes his leave allowing Dustin to soak up the adulation from the crowd as they chant "Thank you Dustin". In a nod to the old school wrestling traditions, Dustin takes off his boots and leaves them in the center of the ring. The Rhodes Brothers walk up the ramp together and hold each other's hands high. MJF and Wardlow jump them from behind to rob the emotional moment away and get nuclear heat. JR and Tony Schiavone say MJF can go to hell as we go off the air! ***, 82% overall

SCHIAVONE WITH THE BASH AT THE BEACH '96 REFERENCE!!! I absolutely would have done the same thing with the heels. I guess Wardlow was very understanding of MJF's cramp situation.

Really though this demonstrates the double-edged sword with guys who are clearly past their prime still going on and wanting to go out on one final big glorious bang. Yes, it makes for a great moment on paper but in practice, not so much. Flair vs. HBK at WM 24 and Austin vs. Rock at WM 19 or any of Terry Funk's 233 retirement matches are examples of this. Although, if it's good enough for the participants who am I to judge?

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G Checking out Uranus, no doubt...

Yeah that's definitely the one. Can a planet be described as "juicy"? Because, well, yeah [/quote]

I should be thanking the gods that none of my top guys have suffered anything major in regards to injuries. Now I just jinxed it...

Yeah I've been fortunate that I've only lost Dark regulars so far. Evans has worked his way up to like a 76 overall which is pretty great considering he started in the low 60s, he's been working mostly on Dark but churning out great performances with tag partner Angelico which has allowed both of them to steadily climb in overness, EWR usually will let guys build into like the 80s overness on match quality alone before you have to then actually push them in an angle.

That said this injury is a big setback for him, without the game in front of me right now I don't remember how devastating it was but I think his speed is now in the low 70s and that was his best stat. I don't cut people during injury but he might not have a practical spot to return to if Angelico keeps climbing in his stead.

So, wait, is Trent? is his actual name? Like, what does that even mean?

Yep indeed.



I don't know the actual backstory. I know he worked under a differently spelled version of his WWE name (Trent Beretta) as well but I think that was too close to actually put on American TV. Given the Best Friends being portrayed as a bunch of slackers I totally could see him being asked for his name and being like "uhh...I dunno...Trent?" and it stuck.

Side story. At one point last year, Santana and Ortiz were feuding with Best Friends and one of the heels worked the angle online by going at Trent's actual mom Sue on Twitter. They eventually have a parking lot brawl which the Best Friends win. Sue herself then drives up to the parking lot in her soccer mom SUV and and the Best Friends (including a bloody Trent) simply get in and they drive off as if they were just getting picked up from practice. That visual cracked me up.

LOL, I love that heel trope of them acting tough when they're not in the same vicinity as their rival. It's shades of the old "I could do that...if I FELT like it" bit.

Yeah I love that stuff. I generally don't have the creative wherewithal to actually script out full promos like I saw people doing in their EWR diaries back on EW Battleground, but if I can just capture the tone and gist of what is being said that's good enough for me.

Wait, aren't Daniels and Kazarian SCU?

Oops, yeah I meant to say FTR. Too many abbreviations here. Also I don't proofread

Kingston and Hardy are the MVPs of this match with their awesome douchenessity. It doesn't appear Page brought out anything absurdly expensive this time around so I'll imagine that he brought custom Dark Order merchandise for the rest of his partners to wear.

"And the official Dark Order underwear too..."

I'd have to imagine that right now, more than any other time, is a shit time to be in the professional wrestling business if you're looking for a steady stream of reliable income and the pandemic would have just aggravated that. I wonder how some of these guys and gals are making out.

AEW, to their credit, pays its contracted wrestlers as employees including benefits etc and they paid out workers during the pandemic who either didn't feel comfortable participating or couldn't travel.

In the very early days of the pandemic they spent a weekend filming 5 or 6 weeks of Dynamite in Cody Rhodes and QT Marshall's wrestling school in Georgia. People like Mox, Hangman Page, Matt Hardy etc chose not to participate and all of the talent based out of New York (MJF, Santana and Ortiz, Statlander etc) and California (Young Bucks, SCU, Jungle Boy etc) had no way to fly with those states shutting down flights. They taped enough matches with a skeleton crew and supplemented it with promos sent in by the wrestlers stuck at home. Several of the extras who worked those tapings made the most of it and ended up getting signed.

I believe NJPW, ROH, and a bunch of others paid everyone their per show wages as well even when there were no shows happening at all. WWE was the only place that did wholesale cuts. I imagine indy wrestlers had a tough go of it and many turned to Twitch and other streaming ventures to try to keep their "brand" afloat.

Oh, I fucking HATE that shit when you've got two guys who you think would draw a good rating because of their stats but the game just decides it doesn't give a fuck. I swear to Ash I've lost count as to how many segments I've done that have been in the shitter despite all participants being at 85 or over in terms of charisma. I've found that it affects people who don't have the Superstar Look stat checked more than those who do. I'm also amused at the idea of someone who looks like Miro/Rusev doing a Twitch stream and playing something like Shantae or Little Big Planet.

Hmm...I forgot all about the Superstar Look box but that could absolutely play a part in it. I know you get dinged if you try to book a non-intimidating wrestler in an angle where having a killer is required, and that the Fonz Factor automatically adds points to segments, but didn't know the extent to which Superstar Look impacted things.

Really though this demonstrates the double-edged sword with guys who are clearly past their prime still going on and wanting to go out on one final big glorious bang. Yes, it makes for a great moment on paper but in practice, not so much. Flair vs. HBK at WM 24 and Austin vs. Rock at WM 19 or any of Terry Funk's 233 retirement matches are examples of this. Although, if it's good enough for the participants who am I to judge?

Dustin's said that he really was going into DON 2019 expecting it to be his swan song. Cody straight after the match got on the mic and cut an emotional promo asking Dustin to be his tag partner at the next PPV and it was a shoot, Dustin didn't know he was gonna be offered another match or a spot in the company. So they hugged it out and it made for a really cool organic moment.

Given he helps as a trainer and is still a capable hand helping out the young guys I think he'll be sticking around for a decent while, not sure he's the type that would want a sendoff let alone another Cody match when they'd have a near impossible task topping the first. But given I had to act quickly in the game I felt it made sense.