GAME: Wrestling Scenes from a Hat

[El Santo]

Dumbledore: .. thank you for joining us here at the final round of the Tri-Wizard Tournament, where it seems our two finalists are none other than Harry Potter of the Gryffindors and Draco Malfoy of the Slytherins. Draco Malfoy escaping the semi-final round through absolutely questionable methods.

Severus Snapes: I humbly disagree, Professor Dumbledore. I say if the referee has his back turned, any combatant --- Slytherin or Gryffindor --- is free to use the Steel Chair of Massive Beating.

Dumbledore: You would say that, Severus. Potter is in his corner with his friends, Ron and Hermoine. But, my word, this will be a battle for the ages!

Severus: This is an absolute infarction, Dumbledore. Combatants should not have any outside interference!

Dumbledore: Then explain how Crabbe and Goyle are in Draco's corner pray tell.

Severus: I told you, it's quite obvious those two are mentally challenged and they'd probably off themselves if Malfoy were not around.

Dumbledore: ... Well I can't argue with that. They've rung the Bell of Match-Starting! They're off!

Severus: Say, Dumbledore, must we give everything fancy pants names? I mean, "Bell of Match-Starting"?

Dumbledore: Sort of gives the proceedings a Tolkienesque air, don't you think? Draco points to Potter in the chest... and POTTER GOES DOWN? What's going on here? Did he use some Dark Art magic?

Severus: I saw no illegal magic at all, Dumbledore! Something's afoot!

Dumbledore: DRACO HAS WON! But, what's this? Potter's getting up ... and he's HUGGING DRACO!

Severus: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I knew it! Potter is a Slytherin! Potter is a Slytherin! The Sorting Hat revealed it six years ago, and nobody believed him but me! I knew it! I knew it!

Dumbledore: Ron and Hermoine are standing in disbelief... but what's this! An attack from behind! That's Hagrid and Cho Chang! My word! They've joined Slytherin too!

Severus: Cho Chang is giving Harry a Liplock of Frenchiness! Ha ha ha ha! To the losers go the spoils! Unbelievable! With the Quiddich Champion, the half-giant, and the hottest tomato in Ravenclaw, Slytherin is unstoppable!

Dumbledore: *shaking head* Truly, this is a black day for both Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. But everyone chooses their own destiny. Curse me and my vague New Age pantheism.

I understand this was a WCW plot, but it was too good to pass up.