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Old 05-04-2004, 05:18 PM   #41
Savio
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*RVD speaking to 3rd graders*
RVD (to teacher) : Hey duuude why didn't you play my music mannnn I'm R-V-D. Well anyways kids just be cool ya know cool.

Kid: can you 5 star frog splash me

RVD: no dude

Kid: Please!
*Kids start chanting 5 star*

RVD: SHUT THE **** UP YOU LITTLE PEices duuuude where am I?
Jeff hardy: Hey Rob! Lets smoke some pot!
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Old 05-04-2004, 07:33 PM   #42
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I don't know why, but this topic is harder than it should be.

RVD: Hey guys. Keep jumping off buildings and smoking the sh*t! The day is yours.

Kid: Even Moday & Thursday?

Rob: No you little dumbass, they're my f'n nights!
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Old 05-04-2004, 07:43 PM   #43
Nark Order
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Rob: Don't do drugs because I'm....ROB....VAN.....DAM

Kids: But Rob, that doesn't make sense.

Rob: It doesn't matter cause I'm ROB....VAN....DAM

Kids: Why do you keep saying that???

Rob: It's just something that I do cause I'm ROB...VAN...

Kids: Oh Christ.....
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Old 05-04-2004, 07:48 PM   #44
El Santo
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Silly question:

Why's a motivational speaker talking to third graders? (Seems to be a running thread here and whatnot)
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Old 05-04-2004, 07:52 PM   #45
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Duuuude... First all you need to do is chill. The first lesson is learning how to chill. After you have mastered that then learn how to ease yourself. Spell it with me

*points to self with each letter

E...A...S...E

After you have the ease inside of you, you can do whatever you want. You are now a master of yourself and soon you will be able to chill just like... and point to yourself when doing this...

*points to self with each letter

R...V...D

I thank you for your time and now go and chill.
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Old 05-04-2004, 08:07 PM   #46
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RVD:"My name is Rob Van Dam. I work for World Wrestling Entertainment, I am thrice de-pushed, and I live in a Van down by the river. Now, I know you kids are thinking, 'Rob, I'm gonna go out there, and grab the world by the tail, pull it down, and put it in my pocket!' Well, I'm here to tell you guys that as you go out there and sign a contract with VInce, you're not going to amount to JACK SQUAT!!!! Young lady, what do you wannna do with your life?!"

Stephanie:"I wanna be a booker for WWE!"

RVD: "Well, LA-DEE-FREAKIN'-DA! Looks like we got ourselves a writer here!"

Hunter: "Actually, Rob, we've really encouraged Steph in her writings."

RVD: "Pal, I wish you would just shut your big yapper!" (Hunter writes down RVD's name in his 'to be buried' list) "Well, you'll have plenty of time for writing storylines, when you're living in A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!! Young man, what do you wanna do?!"

Jeff Hardy: "I want to live in a van down by the river."

RVD: "Well.....you'll have plenty of time for....living in a van down by the river....when you're.....you're living in A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!!"
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Old 05-04-2004, 08:08 PM   #47
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Sadly I cant think of anything for this. I must be thinking to hard. I will be back after a little RVD.
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Old 05-04-2004, 08:25 PM   #48
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lmao at Nowhere Man. "Hey kids I can't see very well, Is that Will Shakespeare over there". That's my favorite line.
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Old 05-04-2004, 08:28 PM   #49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by El Santo
Silly question:

Why's a motivational speaker talking to third graders? (Seems to be a running thread here and whatnot)
I noticed this too. Doesn;t a motivational speaker try to motivate people that are old enough to appreciate it?
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Old 05-04-2004, 08:29 PM   #50
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Well RVD is motivating the kids to go out and say NO to drugs. How about that?
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Old 05-04-2004, 08:32 PM   #51
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well for me RVD is speakin to a group that can at elast appreciate it
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Old 05-04-2004, 08:52 PM   #52
Rock Bottom
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(For Austin Nicknames) "So I was thinking of this new gimmick where I come to the ring wearing a wifebeater..."

(For RVD Motivational Speaker) RVD: "All right man... (Looking over the crowd) How are y'all doing, my name's... ROB (Fingerpoint) VAN (Fingerpoint) DAM (Fingerpoint) and I'm addicted..."

Bob Saget: "You don't know anything about addiction! You ever sucked some dick for crack!?"

RVD: "Hahahah, er... Nah dude... I got really high this one time though... And I drove to the arena, and almost crashed into the building, hahahah... But it's cool... Anyway I swear my Intercontinental Title is missing... I don't know where the hell I put it, and Vince hasn't even noticed since like December..."

Crowd: "RVD, Randy Orton is the IC champ now."

RVD: "Oh yeahhhh hahah, it's cool."

Crowd: "I feel reformed, I will never smoke that much in my life."
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Old 05-04-2004, 09:53 PM   #53
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*For the Austin One*

"Bone Gold" Steve Austin. The Bionic Redneck turns heel and takes the world's supply of gold, and lacs his skeleton with it, feuding with Chris Benoit.
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Old 05-04-2004, 09:58 PM   #54
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Hm, one more rule. Once a round is over, you can't give suggestions for it anymore. Sorry.
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Old 05-04-2004, 09:59 PM   #55
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A-Train: The Musical
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Old 05-04-2004, 10:09 PM   #56
loopydate
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Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
That is not a sweater
There's no wool anywhere
In fact, I think it's better
I'm wearing only hair!
WOO!
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Old 05-04-2004, 10:48 PM   #57
Rock Bottom
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Heyyyyy
That's my shirt
Ahhhhhhh
Neverminddddddddd
I was talking to someone that's different than youuuuuu

(Rep for reference, if I can.)
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Old 05-04-2004, 11:14 PM   #58
El Santo
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To the tune of "Cabaret"

beings with A-Train, stting on a chair and facing its back, while a single solitary spotlight shines on him

What good is sitting alone in your room
Come see the big hoss plaaaaaaaay,
Life is a cabaret, old chum,
Come to the cabaret.

Come see my smoke, come see my flab,
I'm now on Raw, and I'm celebrating,
Right this way, your seat is waiting.

I might be Derailing Benoit really soon,
He might be depushed todaaaaaay,
Life is a cabaret, old chum.
Come see the cabaret.

I'm the guy you know who's really slow & hairy,
I wore a shirt 'cuz Droz said it looked scary.
I wasn't what you call a blushing flower.
As a matter of fact, I shaved my back last hour.

The day she tried to shave my back she nicked me.
I knew I shouldn't've powerbombed poor Stephanie.
After they drugged me with a bottle of doped Jim Beeaaaamm,
I was the happiest jobber Heat had ever seen.

A-Train stand up, hand on the brim of his glittery top hat

And as for me, as for me....
I made my mind up back in Smackdown
I just might have to hold Rodney Mack down...

A-Train is surrounded by Big Show, Brock, Nathon Jones, and Matt Morgan, the "Dancing Hosses", who do the can-can as the music picks up

Start by admitting from cradle to tomb,
It's been a long, long staaaaaaayyyy,
Life is a cabaret, old chum,
It's only a cabaret...
Life is a cabaret, old chum,
Come see the caba
I want the caba
I love the CABAREEETTTTTTTT!!!!

Curtain closes

Last edited by El Santo; 05-04-2004 at 11:38 PM.
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Old 05-05-2004, 01:47 AM   #59
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Blarghblugbunbotrincorieow!
Mueiejfbturhjdnbjffhvfughjdfjhrjrghfjghfjghdkfjrh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Runs at opponent on stage*

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Old 05-05-2004, 01:53 AM   #60
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Oh, that was classic, Santo!
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Old 05-05-2004, 06:30 AM   #61
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The A-train song

One little two little three little back hairs!
Four little five little six little chest hairs!
Seven little eight little nine little leg hairs!
A-train, the hairy hoss!
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Old 05-05-2004, 07:02 AM   #62
Vastardikai
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"Dude, life is like a game of Hungry, Hungry Hippos.... You see, we're all hippos, and we're like, hungry and stuff..."

(sorry, bad RVD/Kane skit rip off)
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Old 05-05-2004, 07:15 AM   #63
Ferocious
jWo 4 Lyfe!
 
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RVD: People of Michigan, Here me when I say that weed is the way forward. We can wipe out the pain of athritis, we can clear our minds and souls, just remember the old ancient proverb. Don't drink and drive.........Smoke weed and fly!
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Old 05-05-2004, 08:01 AM   #64
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A-Train changed his name to Hair-Train.
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Old 05-05-2004, 08:08 AM   #65
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"Hey kids, RVD says make your Goals Higher, make your knowledge Higher..make yourselves HIGHER....Dude"

"be like R..V..D..Fly with confidence, then you'll have the motivation to order that pizza...Dude"
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Old 05-05-2004, 08:10 AM   #66
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Whoops, only just saw the last rule. sorry.
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Old 05-05-2004, 08:10 AM   #67
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"one night only..the Fabulous Albert Train in Shampoo"
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Old 05-05-2004, 09:26 AM   #68
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The Caption Crippler
 
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El Santo ruled with that. Awesome stuff
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Old 05-05-2004, 12:34 PM   #69
Nowhere Man
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Hair (A-Train remix)


She asks me why...I'm just a hairy guy
I'm hairy noon and night; Hair that's a fright.
I'm hairy high and low,
Don't ask me why; don't know!
It's not for lack of heat
Or all the cruiserweights I eat; darling

Gimme a hoss with hair, long beautiful ha-aaaaaair!
Shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there, hair!
Shoulder length, longer (hair!)
Here baby, there mama, Everywhere daddy daddy

Hair! (hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair)
Flow it, Show it;
Long as Vince can push it, My Hair!

Let it fly in the breeze and get caught in the trees
Give a home to the fleas in my hair
A home for fleas, a hive for bees
A nest for stank; oh, God, it's rank
The beauty, the splendor, the wonder of my

Hair! (hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair)
Flow it, Show it;
Long as Vince can push it, My Hair!

I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy
Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
Oily, greasy, fleecy, shining
Gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen
Knotted, polka-dotted; Twisted, beaded, braided
Powdered, flowered, and confettied
Bangled, tangled, spangled and spaghettied!

O-oh, Say can you see; my eyes if you can,
Then my hair's too short!
Down to here, down to there,
Down to where, down to there;
It stops by itself!
doo doo doo doo doot-doot doo doo doot

They'll be ga-ga at the go-go
when they see me in my toga
My toga made of nasty, moldy, Biblical-pestillent hair
My hair like King Kong wore it
Hallelujah I adore it
Hallelujah Vinnie pushed his son-in-law
Why don't my Vinnie push me?
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Old 05-05-2004, 04:17 PM   #70
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500000000000000000000000 points to El Santo, and 4999999999999999999 points to Nowhere man.


The world's worst referee.
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Old 05-05-2004, 04:21 PM   #71
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(patiently waits for the Montreal reference)
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Old 05-05-2004, 04:27 PM   #72
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Micheal Cole: There's the cover

Ref. Arthur Pendragon: One...Two...Five...
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Old 05-05-2004, 06:17 PM   #73
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^ Nice Monty Python reference!!!
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Old 05-05-2004, 06:20 PM   #74
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Michaels has Benoit in the Crossface.
Ref: "Okay, Chris, I know you can't talk with your mouth covered by Shawn's fist, but I'm gonna go make a run to the supermarket after the match. If you want some milk, tap once. Cheese, tap two times. Steak, tap three times. Eggs, tap four times. Cilantro..."
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Old 05-05-2004, 06:37 PM   #75
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Ref1: So xy^2 = the radius of a circles whose diameter is 46
Ref2: hmmmm thats a toughy
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Old 05-05-2004, 06:45 PM   #76
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Ref: You mean he didn't tap? Aww damn it....
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Old 05-05-2004, 06:52 PM   #77
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Ref1: So first day on the job eh?
Ref2: I'm not a ref I'm a convict
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Old 05-05-2004, 06:54 PM   #78
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vastardikai
Micheal Cole: There's the cover

Ref. Arthur Pendragon: One...Two...Five...
Three, sir...
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Old 05-05-2004, 07:56 PM   #79
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Right. Three!

*tosses Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch*
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Old 05-05-2004, 07:57 PM   #80
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*hick accent*
"One! Two! .... aw crap, ma never tot me pass two!"
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