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#1321 |
Triple A's a bitch
Posts: 1,039
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HHH v Eugene in a falls count anywhere match, live on RAW.
HHH and Eugene are punching the crap out of each other backstage, and the camera man is running to keep up. The camera leads the 2 fighting into Bischoff's office where he is ' ![]() ![]() The camera man quickly backs out, and get's bumped by HHH's big nose, and spins around, losing his balance, accidentally showing Vince, Stephanie, Shane and Linda McMahon sitting in the background eating a McDonalds. ![]() The camera man quickly spins around and hits HHH on the back of the head with the camera, and he is out cold. As he falls he hits Eugene a right sore one, and an unconscious Eugene lands on top of him. The ref has no choice but to count him 1.......2......3 ![]() Incidentally the no-one cuts the live feed, and the last thing seen is Eric Bischoff walking towards the McMahons telling them he could only find a little mayo for them. ![]() |
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#1322 |
EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,259
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HHH v. HBK vol. 2,435,700
**HHH places HBK in Pedigree** JR: BAWGAWD! INVERTED CHOKESLAM BY AUSTIN! NEARLYTOREIMINHALF! King: ...... ![]() JR: BAWGAWD! IS THE ONLY WORD I KNOW.. OH, IT'S JEFF HARDY!!! **Jeff, facepaint and all, runs to the ring... stops.. ** HHH: HEY! Did you job to me, already!? Jeff: ![]() **runs to back.. comes back with a table and ladder and jumps through it and leaves ** HHH/HBK: ......... ** they leave the ring and company to become Amish ** END. |
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#1323 |
Banned WWE on 1/1/07
Posts: 2,141
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Batista and Flair walk backwards to the ring while HHH is getting beaten down in the middle of a match.
JR: "Thank god they're leaving." King: "Huh?" |
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#1324 |
Posts: 18,357
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![]() Okay, how about 1000 pts for that? ![]() If pro sports behaved like wrestling. (yeah, it's sort of a rehash of an old one, but given recent events, I think we'll bring it back) |
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#1325 |
Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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Red Sox catcher Sandy Martinez tags out a player at home.
"Martinez 3:16 says I just tagged your ass!" |
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#1326 |
President of Freedonia
Posts: 58,329
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*A brawl erupts in the 2004 WS between the Yankees and Cardinals*
Joe Buck: This is chaotic! Al Leiter: Hey wait, who is that long haired Yankee that just came in through the crowd? And why is he beating up his own teammates? Joe Buck: No way, it can't be..... Al Leiter: IT IS! IT'S JOHNNY DAMON GETTING REVENGE FOR THE RED SOX! Joe Buck: BAH GAWD JKO TO JETER!!! |
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#1327 |
Posts: 18,357
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![]() Lakers vs Heat game Announcer: "Oh, and there's a hard foul by Kobe on Shaq... and oh no! Looks like they're about to go at it! Kobe's right in Shaq's face and... wait a moment, why are they smiling?? BAW GAWD Shaq just turned and LEVELED Dwayne Wade!!!! That sonofabitch! And Kobe with a clothesline to Odom, Butler, and Grant! It was a setup all along!!! Shaq with a chokeslam to Wade!!! Kobe with the SODOMIZER FROM HELL!!!! I can't believe my eyes!!!!!! Not this way! Not this way! And Shaq and Kobe raising each other's hands in the air! Look at this carnage!!!! |
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#1328 |
Posts: 18,357
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PA Announcer: "And starting at center... standing seven feet six inches tall... SHAWWWWWWN BRADLEY!!!!!!"
*Bradley runs down the lane then falls down* Bradley: "AH MY QUAD!!" |
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#1329 |
EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,259
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Artest (after just getting hit with cup of beer): Oh, you wanna fight with me, Mr. Blue Shirt! It's on for the title and in the steel cage.. TONIGHT, TONIGHT.. TO-NIGHT!!
**Ron jumps out of the court to beat up a random group of boy scouts** Blue Shirt: Um, I threw the cu-- Friend next to him: Shh! MARV ALBERT: HE'S ATTEMPTING PUNCHES AND MISSING ALL OF THEM! THOSE KIDS KNOW HOW TO SELL THAT ROCK BOTTOM. YYYYES!.. BAWGAWDSLOBBERKNOCKERNEARLYTORNINHALF! |
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#1330 |
Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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Corky, you can't double post
![]() ![]() Announcer: Well, after a year out of gamesight, Nomar Garciapara finally returns to bat for the Red Sox. He looks like he is ready. Here comes the opening pitch and Nomar sends a high fligher to the outfield...he runs to first base...wait a minute....oh my god! What just happened? Oh no, Nomar caught it too, Nomar caught the Kevin Nash syndrome! |
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#1331 |
FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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[Knock knock knock]
TORRE: Come in! [Derek Jeter enters.] TORRE: Oh, hi, Derek. What can I do for you? JETER: Well, skip, I want to talk to you about Gary Sheffield for a minute. TORRE: Shoot. JETER: It's come to my attention that he's been getting really good reactions at home games lately. Some fans are even cheering louder for him than for me. TORRE: Okay... JETER: And he was an MVP finalist, and I wasn't! Everybody knows I'm the franchise here! TORRE: Uh-huh... JETER: So, we're set? He's batting ninth for the Double-A club next season? Thanks, Joe. You're the best. |
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#1332 |
Posts: 18,357
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If [insert WWE wrestler here] was Santa Claus
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#1333 |
Posts: 18,357
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Flair: "Hello, little boy! What's your name and what do you want for Christmas?"
Boy: "My name is Mark and..." Flair: "@#(*&_^#@%*@^#^&#(@*% insider terminology using !#@(%&)#@(&%(@*#&%!!!!!" *collapses* |
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#1334 |
Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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Santa Claus: Roodalph, thats the last time I let you carry MY balls to their house! YOUUUUURRRRRRRRRRR FFFFFFFFFFIIIIIIIRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDD!
Blitzen: My god he just fired Roodaplh! Damn that Santa, damn him straight to hell! |
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#1335 |
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Hunter Claus: And what would you like for Christmas little boy?
Boy: I'm always game for a little - Hunter: YOU'RE NOT THE GAME! I AM! GET OFF MY LAP YOU LITTLE BITCH! *BOOT* NEXT! (Jericho's son walks up.) Hunter: And what's your name little boy? Kid: Chris Jericho J - (Hunter throws him off his lap and stands on him with one foot.) Jericho: God damn it Hunter! Can't you be nice to my kid for once and not hold him down!? |
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#1336 |
Cranky Kong
Posts: 78,671
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(Holly Claus sits at his work station, checking his "NAUGHTY" and "NICE" lists. However, the words naughty and nice have been scratched out and replaced with the words "HAVE PAID DUES" and "HAS NOT PAID DUES". Oddly enough, the only name on the "HAVE PAID DUES" list is a certain Thurman "Sparky" Plugg. The "HAVE NOT PAID DUES" list consists of the rest of the world.)
HOLLY CLAUS: Damn, Christmas should be easy this year. I think I'll get myself a program with JBL. (Enter a French Elf, who looks a little embarrassed.) FRENCH ELF: Holly Claus, I'm really sorry, but I got a ticket in your sleigh. I'll pay it off if you w-- (Holly Claus flips his desk over on French Elf and begins to pummel him.) Last edited by Anybody Thrilla; 11-29-2004 at 12:28 AM. |
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#1337 |
...and a Batman symbol
Posts: 663
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^^HAHA AT DUPREE
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#1338 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Gene Snitsky: Hello little boy, what would you like for Christmas
Boy: Well last year I asked for a bike but you never brought it and... Snitsky: IT WASN'T MY FAULT Punts little boy in to nearby carol singers |
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#1339 |
Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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Santa: (On phone with Mrs. Claus) WHADDYA MEAN I SENT THE PRESENTS TO THE WRONG HOUSE?
*Throws a hissy fit* |
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#1340 |
EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,259
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**Parents waiting with kids in line for Santa**
Mom 1: Where is he? ** PEEPULATION UNITE! HERE'S CAPT. CHARISMA CLAUS! ** Xtian: Hey, kids! What you want for Xmas.. cuz you better tell someone that cares! **pounds chest ** What about you, kid? Edge: You think you know what I want? You think you know? Xtian: **writing in list** Right.. "talent and some personality".. gotcha! Edge: ..You do know me.. end. |
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#1341 |
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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*Kid sits in Santa's lap*
Kid: Hi Santa! Santa: BAHGAWDI'MSANTAWHATDOYOUWANT!? Kid: What? Santa: BAHGAWDWHATYOUWANTI'MSANTA! SONOFABITCH! Kid: Wha? Santa: BAHGAWD! BAHGAWD! BAHGAWD! *The kid runs off.* Kid: WAAA! SANTA'S SCARY MOMMY! Santa: BAHGAWDWHAT'SWITHHIM!? Elf: I think he wanted some PUPPIES! Last edited by Xero; 11-30-2004 at 07:13 AM. |
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#1342 |
Posts: 1,434
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santa santa i want a pet dog for christmas,
santa lawler - did you say puppies? |
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#1343 |
FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse The stockings were hung by the chimney with care In hopes that St. Rattlesnake soon would be there The workers were nestled all snug in their beds While visions of title shots danced in their heads And Linda in her kerchief, and I in my cap Had just settled down for a long winter's nap When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter I sprung from the bed to see what was the matter Away to the window I flew like a flash Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash The moon on the breast ( ![]() Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below When what to my wondering eyes should appear But a huge monster truck and eight tiny lite beers With a big ol' bald driver, so drunken and peeved I knew in a moment it must be St. Steve More rapid than eagles his curses they came And he whistled and shouted and sullied their names "[Bleep] Hunter [Bleep] Michaels, that injury-faker [Bleep] Angle [Bleep] Rocky, [Bleep] The Undertaker [Drunken, incoherent rambling] [Drunken, incoherent rambling]" As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky So up to the house-top the Bigfoot it flew With the sleigh full of beers and St. Rattlesnake too And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof The pancing and pawing of size-13 hoofs As I drew in my hand and was turning around Down the chimney St. Rattlesnake came with a bound He was dressed in camo, from his head to his foot And his clothes were all tarnished with beer stains and soot A thirty-pound keg he had slung on his back And he looked just like I did when I fired Rodney Mack His eyes -- they were beady! His breath was quite scary His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry His droll little mouth was as pointed as a crow's And the beard on his chin was as brown as Jean's nose The lid of his can he held tight in his teeth And the beer left a stain that looked quite like a wreath He had a long face, and his boots were so smelly They made my grapefruits shake like a bowl full of jelly Uh... I'm going to quit now before it gets worse. Ah, hell, I'll just skip to the end. But I heard him exclaim, as he Stunnered my jaw "Happy Christmas to all, don't break the damned law!" |
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#1344 |
Cranky Kong
Posts: 78,671
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Right then. Nothing will top that.
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#1345 |
Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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ok...can't top that
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#1346 |
Hey Mister!
Posts: 54,952
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You must spread some reputation around before giving it to looppydate again.
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#1347 |
Pelvic Sorcerer
Posts: 64,762
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Hmmm, I can find it, but I was going to post a picture of Bigshow from Jingle all the way.
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#1348 |
One Man Horror Show
Posts: 1,046
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Dammmmmnnnn.
Good one, Loopy. |
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#1349 |
Posts: 18,357
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You must spread some reputation around before giving
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#1350 |
Posts: 18,357
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WWE Christmas Cards
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#1351 |
Posts: 1,434
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YOUR FIRED!
happy christmas send the family my love Vinnie mac |
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#1352 |
EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,259
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A Xmas HAIKU.. By Snitsky and Heidenreich
(picture on the card is Snit and Heiden standing close,punting a plastic baby Jesus doll) Useless hosses, unnecessary pushes many baby punting and gay poetry thank the lord Vinnie Mac still have job and not JOBBING just ask Jericho, receives HHH's title again in 2007. Needs a title like Lita needs acting school. poems are useless, just like talent remember, JBL's champ til Levasque Jr.! 15 minutes almost up, so happy christmas to all and to all... SNI-HEIDEN-RICHSKY ! |
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#1353 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Front of Card: Mae Young Naked
Inside: Merry Christmas Y2J love the McMahon family |
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#1354 |
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Dear Hunter,
I know you hate me I know you loathe me But when you fuck with my push You will not be happy Have a merry Christmas, Chris Jericho PS: I have your's and Steph's sex tape, and TNA has agreed to show it on air at their next PPV. Merry Christmas! |
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#1355 |
Posts: 18,357
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*walks to a card stand and picks up a card*
"Here's wishing you one merry night in Chyna." ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() *faints* |
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#1356 |
FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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#1357 |
...and a Batman symbol
Posts: 663
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Front Cover: So I Bought You A Birthday Card Instead....
Inside: Well, ITS NOT MY FAULT!!!! |
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#1358 |
Posts: 18,357
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6500 pts for Christmas Kane!
![]() Not sure if we've done this before... I think we might, but it's worth doing again. Rejected ways of pushing wrestlers. |
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#1359 |
Posts: 18,357
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I'll get the obvious one out of the way.
Writer 1: "I got it! We'll build the guy into a credible main event fighter by having him pick up several strong and clean wins and culminate with him beating the champion in a long, hard-fought two out of three falls match!!!" Writer 2: "But he's Canadian." Writer 1: "Oh, nevermind." |
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#1360 |
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Vince: Who should we push next? We've pushed every talented wrestler on the roster.
JR: I know, who else is left? Paul Heyman: I have an idea... Vince: GET OUT! Paul: But I just thought that Rob Va... Vince: GET OUT! Paul: But can I just... JR and Vince: GET OUT!!!! |
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