Fantasy-Book Royal Rumble 2004

[Evil Vito]

Yeah, this topic is for the people that want to fantasy book the 2004 Royal Rumble. Also note that spoilers from Raw and Smackdown will be in here, so UK’ers beware. Post everything from build-ups to the way you want the match to play out. I’m mainly doing this out of boredom but it can bring out comments and discussion on my booking or anyone else’s booking.

OK, well, here’s my fantasy booking of the 2004 Royal Rumble – All Matches are listed in Face vs. Heel Format:

Heat

I see Heat just being mostly promos about all the matches, and then Rico vs. John Heidenreich for the final Raw slot in the Rumble match. I see it being a fairly short match with Rico winning.

Now onto the PPV…

WWE United States Title/Royal Rumble Qualifier Match: John Cena vs. The Big Show (C)

THE BUILD-UP: Cena and Big Show have a back-and-forth feud. Heyman eventually lays down the law and says that if Cena wants the U.S. Title AND the WWE Title, he’s gonna have to give Big Show that same chance. Therefore, Cena’s Royal Rumble slot is put on the line in addition to the U.S. Title. Basically, the winner gets both, the loser gets nothing.

THE MATCH: Cena would have to sell Big Show’s offense like a bitch before making a comeback and nailing a surprise F-U and winning the match. I’m guessing it’d be a relatively quick bout.

World Tag Team Title Match: The Dudley Boyz vs. Ric Flair and Batista (C)

THE BUILD-UP: Standard stuff seen on Raw.

THE MATCH: Standard tag match. Team Evolution tries to cheat at every chance they get but in the midst of this they screw up and Batista receives the 3-D and the Dudleyz win the Tag Titles for the 300th time. Match will last around 7 minutes.

WWE Tag Team Title Match: Scotty 2 Hotty and Rikishi vs. The Basham Brothers w/ Shaniqua (C)

THE BUILD-UP: Bashams have been trying to get out of defending the belts against Scotty and Rikishi. Eventually they are forced to defend them at the Rumble.

THE MATCH: Another standard tag match. Nothing special. All throughout the match the Bashams use “classic look-alike tag team” cheating techniques. Ending result is The Bashams winning when Shaniqua holds Doug’s foot on the outside for leverage as he’s pinning Scotty. Match lasts around the area of 4 or 5 minutes.

World Heavyweight Title Match: Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H (C)

THE BUILD-UP: Michaels has been after Triple H’s blood since their World Heavyweight Title Match on the last Raw of 2003. Each man has gotten the upper hand on about the same amount of occasions leading up to the Rumble.

THE MATCH: Match of the night. Back and forth contest with great selling by both men mixed in with all the drama. Michaels wins the belt after a Sweet Chin Music. Match lasts about half an hour.

WWE Title Match: Hardcore Holly vs. Brock Lesnar (C)

THE BUILD-UP: The build-up is basically all the build-up you’ve seen on Smackdown. Heyman is trying to do everything to weaken Holly before the Rumble.

THE MATCH: It’d probably last at least 20 minutes. It could be a good **** match considering that Brock has carried the Undertaker to two **** matches in the past. Brock wins after the F-5.

The 2004 Royal Rumble Match

I’m bored, so I made a write-up of the match.

Benoit is, of course, #1. Shelton Benjamin is #2. There’s some decent chain wrestling near the ropes but Benoit manages to eliminate Benjamin just before the next entry. Val Venis is #3. He and Benoit do some good wrestling but Benoit eliminates him with about 30 seconds left in the interval. Mark Henry is #4. Surprisingly the writers don’t have Benoit get killed by him. Benoit does pretty well against Henry, but he still can’t get him out. Booker T is #5. He goes right after Henry, of course. The whole interval is basically a double-team on Henry, but the combined forces of Booker and Benoit still aren’t enough to get him out. Bradshaw is #6. Now we see a triple-team on Henry the whole interval. They milk Henry’s weight because they still can’t get him out. Rhyno is #7 and the crowd wonder because he’s a heel if he’s gonna help try to eliminate Henry or if he’s gonna fight the other guys. This question is answered immediately as he Gores Bradshaw. The crowd are a bit dead. Well, they were, because when RVD’s music hits for #8 the crowd get right back into it. He immediately goes right after Henry, which sparks an effort from the other 4 men to get him out. Finally the combined forces of the 5 men is enough to eliminate him. Test is #9. Chavo Guerrero is #10. Just going through the motions.

In the ring: Benoit, Booker, Bradshaw, Rhyno, RVD, Test, Chavo

Billy Gunn makes his return to a decent ovation at #11. Rhyno ducks a Clothesline From Hell from Bradshaw and the momentum carries Bradshaw up and over the top, out of the match. Randy Orton is #12, to the dismay of many. Rico is unlucky #13, and it shows as Benoit sends him out after about that many seconds. Shannon Moore is #14, and he uses his speed to keep away from the ropes. Matt Morgan is #15, and he makes Moore his bitch but refuses to eliminate him just to be an asshole. Matt Hardy is #16. As soon as he gets in he picks up his almost dead former MF’er and goes to throw him over, but Moore reverses at the last second and sends Hardy over the top to elimination. Hardy looks to be in shock and Moore looks to be very proud. His glory doesn’t last long though, as Morgan grabs him and tosses him out with one arm in a sick move. Hardy points and laughs at Moore as he’s leaving just to be an asshole.

In the ring: Benoit, Booker, RVD, Test, Chavo, Rhyno, Morgan, Gunn, Orton

The ring is starting to get somewhat crowded, but Goldberg draws #17 so that should change. A nice spot occurs when Goldberg gets in the ring. Rhyno tries to Gore him, but Goldberg sidesteps. Rhyno ricochets off the rope and into a Spear by Goldberg. Rhyno gets tossed. Bye-bye Test. Nice seeing you Billy. The announcers mention that Benoit and Booker have both been in for over 20 minutes. Eddie Guerrero comes out at #18 and he tears into Chavo and then tosses him out. A crash is heard and none other than Mick Foley runs out as #19. He’s carrying a barbed-wire 2x4. As he’s running down, Orton slides under the bottom rope and hides out of sight. Foley circles the ring as all the wrestlers back away from Foley and his barbed-wire 2x4. When his back is turned, Orton sneaks in and dumps Foley. Orton jumps around like he’s won the World Series, but he doesn’t pay enough attention as Goldberg clotheslines him in the back of the head and it sends Orton out. Foley gets a huge smirk as he walks closer to Orton with his barbed-wire 2x4. Orton begs off, but then eventually turns around and runs over the barrier and into the crowd, being pursued by Foley.

In the ring: Benoit, Booker, RVD, Morgan, Goldberg, Eddie

The new United States Champion John Cena is #20. Goldberg eliminates Morgan somewhere in the interval, making him the only man in the ring that doesn’t rule. Scott Steiner evens out the Suck Factor with his entry at #21. Goldberg at least saves us the pain of having two sucky guys in the ring at once and he eliminates Steiner fairly quickly. Chris Jericho is #22. A-Train is #23 and he adds nothing. Kurt Angle is #24. He doesn’t add much, but it’s Kurt Angle so who the hell cares. Kane is #25, which oddly makes him the 3rd bald guy in a row. He actually does add something by eliminating his ex-partner Rob Van Dam. Lance Storm is #26. Charlie Haas is #27. Faarooq is #28. Rey Mysterio is #29. Christian rounds off the field at #30.

Our final suspects: Benoit, Goldberg, A-Train, Eddie, Cena, Jericho, Kane, Angle, Storm, Haas, Faarooq, Mysterio, Christian

There’s 13 in there, WAY too many people and nothing going on. Kane hears me and then takes out Faarooq, Haas, Storm, and A-Train with one HUGE double-arm clothesline. The announcers then mention that he has now eliminated 5 men, which is more than anyone else thus far. They ask if anyone can stop him. On cue, the lights go out. When they come back on, we see the Undertaker decked in old school Deadman attire. The crowd have a collective orgasm. Everyone else stands around him in shock. Taker walks around, eyeing everybody, almost as if he’s deciding who to fight. Then suddenly he clotheslines Kane and he goes all the way over the top to the floor. Kane stands back up and looks like he’s seen a ghost. Taker raises his arms and the lights go off again. When they come back on, Taker and Kane are both nowhere to be seen. Everyone looks puzzled as they prepare to get back to fighting. Christian throws Jericho over and starts to celebrate, but Jericho hangs on. Jericho gets back in and grabs the distracted Christian and throws him over. Eddie and Rey do some high-risk attempts to eliminate each other, only for them both to get dumped out by Angle. Cena is soon eliminated by Jericho.

THE FINAL FOUR: Chris Jericho, Goldberg, Chris Benoit, and Kurt Angle

Goldberg is the first of the 4 to go after Angle ducked a Spear and back-body dropped Goldberg out. Jericho is the next out at the hands of Benoit. It’s all down to Benoit and Angle. The two do some great chain wrestling near the ropes. Angle hits a huge clothesline in the ropes and it sends both men over, but Benoit holds on and re-enters the ring ala Shawn Michaels to win the 2004 Royal Rumble and become the 2nd man to last all the way from #1. Angle shakes hands with the celebrating Benoit as the show goes off the air.

Post comments or your own booking of the PPV.