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01-15-2004, 11:36 PM
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#1 | ||||
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
  
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SmackDown! Captions [1/15/04]
 JOHN: Is this your pet ladybug? PAUL: John, I know we've had our problems... JOHN: Do you love your pet ladybug? PAUL: John, you don't want to do this... JOHN: You wouldn't want anything to hap-- Squish PAUL: OH, GOD! JOHN, YOU SONOFA-- JOHN: Psyche! Man, it was just a Sudafed I put polka dots on, yo!  John's head exploded after Paul jammed the microphone into his left temple and began humming at a low frequency.  Jamie and Nidia were nervous. They knew the Empire of the Sun had never forgiven the States for Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but now that the gay Nazi referee was on their side, wrestling's version of WWII was going to get ugly...  Oh, my God! That black mist not only blinded Nidia, it drove her eyeballs down into her chest! Oh, wait...  RIKISHI: Don't they usually give out longer straps for strap matches?  Scotty knew he was in trouble. He forgot that he, of all people, should NOT be chewing Wrigley's around Rikishi... RIKISHI: Mmmmm... Gummy Worm...  Scotty did THE WORST Dino Bravo impression ever.  The first-ever male Bra & Panties match wasn't very over.  EDDIE: I loved you in Stand and Deliver, ese. CHAVO: I'm not Edward James Olmos...  Eddie learns that he, too, can cause the Butterfly Effect.  Eddie, you could have picked a better part of your anatomy to lead with...  TAZZ: Look, Cole! Chavo's standing, and I think he's going to deliver a shot on Eddie! COLE: That's not Edward James Olmos...  DAWN: Welcome to another edition of "Learn How To Speak Like JR." Tonight's word: "awnarie." COLE: Isn't it "ornery?" TAZZ: Shut up. At least she used the right alphabet this time.  Mexican Standoff: Two or more people with guns at the ready, prepared to fire upon each other (as seen in films like Reservoir Dogs) Italian Standoff: Two or more people with fingers at the ready, prepared to call each other homos (as seen in tonight's SmackDown)  Chuck was taken aback. Who knew that Nunzio could morph into Kurrgan?  The crowd sat in uncharacteristic silence. Someone should have suplexed his man by now, but instead of discussing the match, Nunzio and Johnny were too busy arguing over which stable was cooler: the original FBI or the Natural Born Thrillers.  CHUCK: Okay! The FBI was cooler! That's no need to hit Johnny! NUNZIO: What? JOHNNY: Oh, my teeth...  Tonight was the night: The Cruiserweights were taking back SmackDown!  At least, that's what those bastard backstage pranksters led Funaki to believe...  John Cena prepares to go all Dee Brown on Rhyno's ass!  If you slow the tape down, you can pinpoint the exact instance that John became too excited for his shorts to hold.  It was bad enough that Rhyno's role in the company is shrinking down to nothing. Do they have to actually SHRINK Rhyno down while they're doing it?  John was proud of himself, blissfully unaware that the Monty Python Dragon on Rhyno's singlet was about to bite his ear off.  The Nazi shouldn't have looked at the Ark...  JOHN: That's pretty impressive that you managed to rig up that kendo stick out of the shards of the table. PAUL: Thanks. I like to think of myself as the Extreme MacGyver. JOHN: Can you show me how you did that?  PAUL: Well, for starters, this isn't a very good place to start.  JOHN: Ice cream sandwich? I ate the little chocolate cookie stuff, but the ice cream's still good. PAUL: No, really. You can have it.  JOHN: No, I insist.  JOHN: EAT THE F***KING ICE CREAM! COLE: Jesus... TAZZ: Lemme guess... Hayes is booking this segment? JOHN: TASTE THE VANILLA GOODNESS!!!  Okay, my vision isn't so good, but does that sign say "Hooty Butt Mom?" Quote:
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01-16-2004, 01:13 AM
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#2 |
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I Hate Bottles
Posts: 4,362
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I wish I wasn't too tired to think of the quotes right now, but this pic is just begging for lines from the Monty Python and the Holy Grail scene with the french man yelling down from the castle wall. btw, great captions loopy. The italian standoff and the one about kurrgan were hilarious. |
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01-16-2004, 01:28 AM
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#3 |
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Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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Dammit, Loopy, you make my job harder every week!
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01-16-2004, 01:29 AM
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#4 | |
Posts: 18,357
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Quote:
Last edited by Corkscrewed; 01-20-2004 at 05:52 PM. |
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01-16-2004, 02:38 AM
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#5 | |
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Posts: 18,357
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 Cena: "After I beat your ass, your head will be a ringaling. Everyone knows PAUL HEYMAN has a tiny dingaling!" Doesn't Cena look like Benoit in that pic? To add insult to injury, Heyman had to do his Andrea Bocelli rendition. Solidifying his heel turn, Noble offers Nidia to Tajiri for him to suck out her soul. Ref: "Hail, Shang Tsajiri!" Noble: "I'll be darned! He really did suck out her soul!" OR After Nidia's soul was taken and Jamie knelt with a lifeless Nidia in his arms, Noble suddenly had the strongest urge to pull a Triple H... Envious of Eddie Guerrero, Rikishi and Scotty combined their pixie powers and produced a TAG TEAM BUTTERFLY EFFECT!!! Here we have a double "........................ UH, OH!" OR Here, Loopydate sees the fattest vase ever. OR HGA returns with a vengeance. Scotty had been out of action for several weeks following his mealtime accident with Rikishi until the big man pooped him out again. Haas had the pin, but Nick Patrick was way too busy trying to get the perfect ass shot with his new Cannon Powershot. Unfortunately, the biggest sign ever brought to a WWE live event was used to voice one fan's displeasure with the recent product. Fearing Eddie was getting too over, Vince McMahon had Scotty beam him up with the teleport ray. Unfortunately, he missed. The emotion of the segment totally broke down when all of the sudden, instead of continuing to pummel Eddie, Chavo Jr. started going crazy on his air guitar. To make matters worse, after Chavo remembered they were still filming the segment, he clumsily walked into the Giant Sky Wrench. In an effort to boost ratings, SmackDOWN! and America's Next Top Model morph into one show. While Palumbo distracted Nunzio by pretending to listen to his lecture, Stamboli turned on the FBI leader by literally punching a hole into his chest. At this point, Palumbo regretted never introducing Nuzio to Certs. Palumbo picked an inopportune time to go to the john... right in the middle of the ring. Nunzio: "Yo, I know you resented Johnny make fun of your gay gimmick with Billy, but did you really have to kick his balls out?" Actually, Funaki was just climbing up Big Show so that he could reach his hand to give him back his quarter. Evidentally, soul-sucking runs in the Japanese race, as shown by Funaki's ingenious counter. John checked his rocket shoes one last time. He was breaking through that glass ceiling dammit! ...or crash trying. Heyman always picked the worst times to check for hernias. Cena: "Ooh, I found berries." *scarfs down berries* Rhyno: "No, wait! They might be poisonous! ...... Well, how are they?" Cena: "They taste like.... burrrrrrning..." Cena: "Dammit Rhyno! Paul already checked for a hernia!" Paul was just as shocked and outraged as everyone when he heard Benoit was moving to RAW so that he could be buried by Triple H. Somehow, the WWE's white version of a Bruce Lee vs Some Dude with a Sword just lacked that special "it." At least Cena was kind enough to ask Paul if he wanted to get pooped on. Cena: "Paul, what would YOU do for a Klondike Bar?" John: "Hey monkey... you want some? No! Want some? Whoo! Want some? Whoo!" Cena and Heyman demonstrate yet another reason why you NEVER drop your soap in prison. LOL... Loopy, it says "Happy B-Day Mom"  Heyman was right about one thing: It was the night of Rhyno's Resurrection. And his tricks too. |
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01-16-2004, 02:42 AM
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#6 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Another version of my caption for this pic:
Eddie: (thrusting crotch) "Uh! UH! Oh yeah! UH! UH! UHH!!" Chavo Jr.: (rockin' the air guitar) "Meedley meedley meedley meedley meedley meedley meedley meedley meedley meedley meedley MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" Chavo Sr.: "What the ****? I came back to wrestling for THIS???" |
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01-16-2004, 09:42 AM
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#7 |
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Guest
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Yeah Nowhere, why do you deprive us of your captions....Come on, it's go time
Anyway, great captions Cork and loopy. These were my Fav's loopy: EDDIE: I loved you in Stand and Deliver, ese. CHAVO: I'm not Edward James Olmos... Chuck was taken aback. Who knew that Nunzio could morph into Kurrgan? Corkscrewed: Haas had the pin, but Nick Patrick was way too busy trying to get the perfect ass shot with his new Cannon Powershot. Fearing Eddie was getting too over, Vince McMahon had Scotty beam him up with the teleport ray. Unfortunately, he missed. 
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01-16-2004, 10:25 AM
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#8 |
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WOOOOOOOOO!
Posts: 12,237
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Cena: I have pepper spray!! HAHAHA Just kidding |
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01-16-2004, 12:44 PM
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#9 | |||
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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01-16-2004, 02:23 PM
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#10 |
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Posts: 18,357
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That pic with Heyman and the soap still cracks me up. Paul is such a great performer, and his exaggerated voice and facial expressions are hilarious.
CHRRRRISSS? |
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01-16-2004, 06:00 PM
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#11 |
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Guest
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Alright John, the 'I got your nose' gag stopped being funny after the 11th time. Heyman, "NO More" Cena, "I've got.... cough cough.... your nose The ref immediately called for the Imperial Guards when Chewbacka, in partial disguise, wandered towards the ring. I guess the reunion of the Planeteers didn't go as planned. Rikishi, "I thought you said Cap was going to be here. Scotty, "Wheeler told me everyone was coming tonight. Rikishi, "You think it was tomorrow." The noticably older Captain Planet had finally shown up, but it was too late as Rikishi had killed one of his fellow Planteers and officially quit the group by tossing away his ring of 'Heart.' As a way to keep a closer eye on making sure whether or not wrestlers are preforming towards thier capability,, Vince starts sending out his cohorts to monitor and critique wrestlers while preforming in the ring. Vince's cohorts would not only serve as supervisors, but were also there to teach wrestlers new holds and moves to use while in the ring. OK, it's bad enough Eddie lost the title to him, but was it really necessary to force Eddie to look at a picture of Big Show wearing nothing but the U.S. Title. Chavo Sr., "SHHHHH, Maybe he won't see me." Eddie, "I haven't seen your dad Chavito." Chavo, "god...you two are terrible at this game" Oh man do I just want to grab her and......OH SORRY, Back to Captions Pulumbo, "I said Col. Mustard with a Knife. Nunzio, "AH, but which room." Nunzio, "Look, if you're going to whine and complain about the game, then leave. Pulumbo, "Okay Okay...........Bullshit(under his breath)" As Stamboli rolled on his turn in the corner, most fans weren't even aware that a match was going on as the game of Clue was being played. Nunzio, "Jesus, can I win a FK'N game for once." Pulumbo, "I know." Stamboli, "I thought you said this was going to be a fun game and no one would get stabbed." Big Show tried to entertain the crowd with the 'Robot Dance,' but Funaki would have none of it. Oh Uh.....Funaki knew he shouldn't have used a piece of glass when helping Big Show shave. Was this really the time for Heyman to have a puppet show?" The very first ice skating match came to a halt when Cena broke some ribs while taking a spill. Heyman hears the ghostly cries of a man who some say is longing to tell us anything that we don't already know. After all hopes of building a fort in the ring failed, the three men tried there luck with a game of pinata. This wasn't really the time for John Cena to be asking Heyman if he could show him his magic trick. Cena, "And next on our list is the official HHH 'I've got Game' bar of soap." Heyman, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Cena, "Well the directions says 'IN order to Get Game AND BECOME A NEW MAN, Take A SMALL BITE AND SWALLOW.' Heyman, "Here I go John" Heyman, "AHHH...it's a little stale." John, "Just like the Real HHH.....HAHA...Just kidding. Cena, "And here you have it ladies and gentleman, A new man. Heyman, "I'VE Definately Got Game." Last edited by Loose Cannon; 01-17-2004 at 06:06 PM. |
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01-16-2004, 06:53 PM
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#12 | |
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Kiss my face.
Posts: 34
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Quote:
 Oh, that's inspired! Scarily uncanny, too...
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01-16-2004, 08:53 PM
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#13 |
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TPWW's Glass Ceiling
Posts: 5,793
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No matter how hard they tried,the new FBI couldn't get the "Who's On First?" bit down.... For the enjoyment of the crowd,Eddie gathered his family to recreate the scene of his arrest.... After their recent trip to Canada,Heyman and Cena came back...and brought SARS with them..... Heyman was TOTALLY grossed out when Cena held up Mideon's Eye- ball in a jar.... |
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01-16-2004, 11:03 PM
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#14 |
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Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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Okay, I think it's high time I get off my ass and do another round of captiony goodness. I've been a little off my game, which is why I haven't posted any for a couple weeks (I.e. I want to, but the ones I think of suck), so forgive me if these aren't very good.
Cena: *tap tap tap* What the hell is this?!?! Heyman: Glass Wall. Had it installed to match the Ceiling. Cena finds out what the E in "Paul E. Dangerously" really stands for: Ether-Breath. This week, WWE Masterpiece Theater gives us the touching "Balcony Scene," from Shakespeare's Noble-O and Tajiri-et Noble was livid. I mean, how many freakin jaws does Shaniqua's monster need?!?! Zan: FORM OF.....a pretty talented crusier who's stuck with a lame gimmick and has no long-term future with the company! Jan: FORM OF.....a fatass no-talent slob who only stays over by doing things with his butt! WONDER TWIN POWERS.....ACTIVATE!!! Scotty wasn't too pleased by George Lucas' decision to give Jabba the Hutt a full head of hair in the next prequel. Scotty's attempt at a Vader Bomb ends with tragic results. Charlie momentarily broke kayfabe to help pull Basham free. Next time, he'd have to remember not to piledrive him THAT hard. Not a caption. I just wanted to say that Eddie's sweater looks like he stole it from the set of Queer Eye. Suddenly, Eddie's attacked from behind! It wasn't his brother Chavo at all! It was Zach Gowan in disguise!!! "DEMON, BEGONE!!!!!" Chavo Sr. forces his brother to watch Chavo Jr. do the "Just Play it Cool" dance from West Side Story Chavo Jr.: *snap....snap....snap* this is for skipping out *kick...turn* on all my recitals, ese! *jazz hands!!!!* As displeased as I was with the new direction of the character, I must say that Shannon looks absolutely ravishing in his new outfit. Tension builds among the ranks of the FBI. Nunzio: No, it's YOUR turn to job to the Undertaker when he gets back! I know the idea of Siamese twin wrestlers isn't a very good one, but I'll give credit to these guys for doing it so well. The FBI just tried to keep the audience's attention. If they make sure everyone ignores the ghost of Hitler on the far right, maybe he'd just go away. Nunzio was just as confused as the other guys. Just where the hell did their pants go? It was pretty obvious from the start that Big Show wasn't worried about wrestling Funaki, but doing the Macarena in the middle of a match was just insulting. EDIT: Damn, I didn't see this gag was already done! As the mighty behemoth hoisted the helpless cruiserweight into the air, the crowd let out a thunderous applause. TV ratings skyrocketed, and the buyrates for the upcoming Matt Morgan/A-Train Iron Man match was predicted to out-do most Wrestlemanias.... .....and then, JR woke up. No one was sure what the point of "John Cena Gargoyles" was, but damn if they didn't look realistic. It's really too bad the photographer decided to take the picture here, because Heyman's 2-guys-at-once Gorilla Press was truly a sight to behold. Unlike most people, who have a small angel and devil on their shoulders, Cena always got attacked by miniature versions of former ECW champions every time he had to make a moral decision. The F-U was a powerful maneuver by itself, but for some reason, doing a Fire Marshall Bill impression while delivering it was absolutely devastating. Heyman looked in horror as he was confronted by the ghost of Jacob Marley, who had come to warn Heyman of his greedy ways.... Cena knew that the odds were still against him. He had managed to take out the table, but the seasoned veteran of Heyman's inanimate object stable was still ready for action. On a side note, Moppy looks great with that new haircut. Heyman: Okay, okay, I'll talk! I'll tell you who keeps stealing everyone's shirts! I'm going to stop now, because I don't think I can beat the Ice Cream Sandwich gags. |
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01-16-2004, 11:21 PM
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#15 | |
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Guest
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Quote:
WELCOME BACK Was that first one from Shallow Hal?
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01-16-2004, 11:23 PM
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#16 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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John Cena had to point out to Paul that there are still Hurricane fans out there. Needless to say Paul attacked John Cena after this little rap. “You’re head is shiny, you need the spray hair from a can! But dawg, you’re bald spot is worse than Macho Man!” Tajiri: Hey Nidia! You can’t see me! Nidia: That’s NOT funny!!! Jamie: (snickers) Nidia: You better not be laughing at this Jamie! Jamie: No way hunny! It was some guy in the front row! The best part about being Jamie Noble is you can always tell Nidia that you’re not about to have sex on TV, but it’s the TV in the background. (note- the next 3 are all one flowing caption) Wonder twin powers, activate! Scotty: Shape of a big Samoan who got over by rubbing his ass in other people’s faces and stealing Yokozuna’s finisher! Rikishi: Form of a semi-washed up wrestler whose tag team partner was busted for drugs who never got over as a legitimate singles wrestler! Scotty did not take too kindly Rikishi’s form… Being a good, clean, honorable man, Charlie Hass takes it upon himself to start the SmackDown “Say No To Crack” campaign. Eddie: So if Vince McMachon tries to go Sean O’Haire on me for getting over, he’ll have to speak with my lawyer! Wow! Zack Gowen got a nice tan… but it burnt off some of his hair… Get your own Chavo Action Figure, with Karate Chop action! All Chavo had was one little speck of light… one little speck of hope… After his feud with Eddie, Chavo could only pray that he doesn’t get buried… Poor Dawn… She can’t even do “I’m A Little Tea Pot” the right way. Nunzio: Listen Palambo and Stamboli, in ECW, I was over! They didn’t burry the little guys! Chuck: And look at ECW now… Oh, you can’t because it’s not here! Nunzio: Shut up… Chuck’s “Talk To The Hand” bit did not go over well with Nunzio. |
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01-16-2004, 11:24 PM
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#17 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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And from the right side of the screen, Thing comes into the battle royal, knowing the he’ll win because he doesn’t have any feet to hit the floor. Nunzio: And that, Chuck, is why you’re in the FBI. Chuck: Wow, I need to thank you. This way I’ll never get locked in a cage like Sean. Funaki became the newest doctor on the SmackDown roster. His first task, give the Show a neck. Ah, he admires his work… The Big Show now has a neck, but he has to keep that brace on to prevent his head from going up his ass. John Cena tries to get on the late 80’s/early 90’s trendwhore wagon by using the sneakers that pump up. Ref: I think my son had a pair of them a few years back… Cena just couldn’t hold it in any longer… Next time he should use Acme brand Liquid Fiber, to get rid of the craps in one dose! Even John Cena had to shed a tear for Rhyno… Being held back for so long, just to do the job in the main event. Cena’a reaction to Kurt Angle’s track the new WWE album… Worst Rap Ever. Paul can just look at the world in disgust when he heard a fan say “Paul E. Who?” Paul knew he was in trouble… If John Cena can destroy the table with his backhand, lord knows what he could do to the human body! Chris Beniot would hold the sharpshooter in until Paul would admit why he allowed ECW to be driven to hell. Intrigued, Paul asked for a closer look at the twinkie. Paul: Hey! Where’s the crčme filling? John: Ya gotta bite deeper into it to get the filling! Paul: This better be damn good crčme… John: Wait, isn’t that Sean selling beer? Chris: He does it during Rhyno’s matches. |
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01-16-2004, 11:30 PM
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#18 | |
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Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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01-16-2004, 11:33 PM
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#19 | |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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01-16-2004, 11:35 PM
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#20 |
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Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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Don't worry about it. Happens to me a lot.
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01-16-2004, 11:53 PM
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#21 |
Posts: 1,008
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...........UH OH! |
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01-16-2004, 11:53 PM
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#22 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Great stuff guys! Always450, you're getting better and better every week, and you should be proud of yourself! Nowhere Man, if that's what you'd call rusty, I want to be rusty. |
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01-16-2004, 11:59 PM
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#23 | |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,115
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Incest(sp?) Paul: Ice cream?  Grand Champ of the Arcade: 6/26/15 - 4/09/20 4/14/20 - Present Quote:
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01-17-2004, 12:01 AM
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#24 |
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One Man Horror Show
Posts: 1,046
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As soon as the perky customer rep sprayed him with CKOne, Paul suddenly remembered why he hated going to the mall. Heyman: "JOHN, ARE YOU ASLEEP?" Cena: "Not anymore, ass." Tajiri could believe his eyes! Smokey the Bear? In Smackdown? Nidia: "I got the rockin' pneumonia... I need a shot of rhythm and blues..." Jamie: "Snap out of it, Nidia! You are NOT Buddy Holly!" Scotty: "So.... Power Twins routine?" Rikishi: "Been done." Scotty: "Dammit." Rikishi: "Well, you could play the gentlemanly Mr. D'Arcy and I could play the precocious Elizabeth..." Scotty: "Oh, God no." Scotty sees himself for the first time in a funhouse mirror, and is horrified. Paul was horrified when he discovered Big Show's Q-tip. Heyman: "For the last time, John, I swear I never did drugs!" Cena: "...then why in the world did I find THIS under your bed!" Heyman: "It's RVD's! I swear!" Cena: "Here comes the plane, into the hangar.... neeeeooowwwwww...." Despite being on a diet, Paul just couldn't get enough of that delicious Philadelphia cream cheese. First time in a while. Apologies for the ring rust. |
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01-17-2004, 12:11 AM
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#25 |
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Paragraphs killed Jesus.
Posts: 203
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Due to WWE budget problems Cena had to pretend he had pepper spray while Heyman had to sell the effects. As he was delivering his promo, Heyman suddenly noticed a spider crawling on the mat...and he is just too afraid of those damn things! As the referee demonstrates where the ratings should be going, Tajiri is about to provide us with a more accurate description... In an attempt to insert comedy into a dramatic moment, a midget is sent to run around ringside with his pants falling down. And they wonder why the ratings are slipping? Scotty looks puzzled as the ref is "beamed" into the ring by Scotty (not 2 Hotty) just in time for the match. The intense stare-down lasted into the wee hours of the morning before both men realized the Smackdown crew was already heading for Duluth... Ref: "No Scotty not yet, I have to make one more count!" Though he tried to forget, Charlie reminded Doug (or Danny, whichever the hell it is) what his high school years were like. Pesky Jehova's Witnesses, now they're even starting to bother people at work... ..And boy are they persistent! Let this be a lesson to you- now ever Jehova's Witness comes with a Mexican heavy, take their pamphlets or feel their wrath! The crowd was stunned as Chavo waddled over to Eddie, started picking things out of his hair and ate them. Chavo, Sr: "Too much Discovery Channel for you, son!" Chavo, Jr: "Ooh ooh?" This wasn't the first object of that size and diameter Dawn held in her hand... Palumbo stood in shock as Nunzio and Johnny the Bull pantomimed Shakespeare's "Julius Ceasar." It is in this exact moment that Jimmy Cordaris realized he was overweight, he was bald, and he was single... Palumbo was such a nice guy, taking a break from his match to hold the cameraman's equipment while he had to go take a leak...and by equipment i mean the camera, you filthy bastards! Palumbo was disappointed as Nunzio described how big the margin of error was to the push Vince told him he would receive. Funaki: "Piggy-back ride, piggy-back ride!" Big Show: "Piggy-back ride? Piggy-back? Back? Baby Back Ribs? Mmmmmm....ribs...." Big Show: "I WANT MY DAMN BABY BACK RIBS!" Funaki: "I DON'T HAVE THEM SHOW, I SWEAR!" Big Show's madness over his ribs grew to the point where, the crowd sat in horror, as he poured BBQ Sauce on Funaki and ate him... Oh Christ, somebody tell Heyman to stop knawing on the ropes already! Cena was used to other men's hands being in that general area, but never in such a crude fashion. Cena: "Rhyno my tummy hurts.." Rhyno: "You're not getting out of this Gore, John, and I mean it!" Cena: "Oh ok...big meanie head..." He may be hitting the FU and getting the win, but this would not stop Rhyno from expressing his distaste in his lack of push by choking someone who was getting a push. (Yeah a little long-winded and boring there, but I couldn't think of anything else...) Heyman: "You mean...there is no Giant Sky Wench? Who the hell have I been praying to? Who IS in the sky?" Heyman gets on the defensive as Cena breaks the news that Vince McMahon is in the sky, that's who he was praying to, and he is being fired for breaking the #1 WWE Commandment. Ever time someone pulls out a shiny object Benoit gets distracted, sharpshooter or not. The soap wasn't the worst part of it, the spider-problem from earlier that had been remanifested, however.... Cena: "Here, bite down on this, we're gonna get you through this, Paul!" Here Heyman is demonstrating why his favorite movie is Jaws. Damn Heyman and his shiny objects! |
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01-17-2004, 12:34 AM
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#26 |
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WOOOOOOOOO!
Posts: 12,237
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Ooooh....Red Snapper |
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01-17-2004, 01:17 AM
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#27 | |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Or even Triple H telling me that I won't get burried (which is saying alot since I'm around Spike Dudley's size)!
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01-17-2004, 02:12 AM
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#28 |
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Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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Cena: You're scared of the claw, you're scared of the claw My thoughts exactly Cena, leave singing Dirty to Christina Noble: Do you know you just drank Columbian decaffenated coffee crystals Tajiri: .............you son of a bitch! Nidia: I can see! .....wait you're not Triple H The first ever Chinese fingertrap match didn't go over too well Scotty had to wonder, who had the bigger rack? Dawn Marie or Rikishi? No matter how much props everyone gave Scotty, he couldn't carry Rikishi to a good match Too bad the Bashams didn't know Haas was also a proctologist Eddie was the most excited to see Jose Lothario come back Chavo never forgave Eddie for telling madre about his "secret garden" can't beat the air guitar caption, too funny While the Guerreros attacked each other, the aliens from Independence Day decided to strike with a vengeance Tazz: PUPPIES! Cole: I told you to not read Lawler's Announcing for Dummies Chuck: Weren't you popular in ECW? Nunzio: Weren't you gay two years ago? Obviously the aliens weren't too big on the Big Show Big Show: I like those inuendos Funaki: INDEED! Cena was getting too popular, behold Spider-Thug Cena: Well it was this or Aldo Montaya 2004 Paul: So you're not untouchable..... Cena: Oh man I shouldn't of had that prun smoothie Cena's reaction to Holly vs. Brock Heyman just saw a Holly match for the first time Heyman: Big Show beat Cena right? It can't be that hard Cena: Come on Paul, all the cool kids are doing it Cena: How the view from sugar heaven bitch! If you're held down throw your hands up |
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01-17-2004, 10:27 AM
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#29 |
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Guest
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LOL at the Paul "The Wall" Carrington is the next Big Thing message. WTF. He's trying to overshadow the Caption Crew.
Last edited by Loose Cannon; 01-17-2004 at 10:44 AM. |
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01-17-2004, 11:27 AM
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#30 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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The first round of full contact rock-paper-scissors came to a draw as they both drew “rock.” I’ve seen some people use God, Money, and Bombs in rock-paper-scissors, but did he really need to use “ass?” |
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01-17-2004, 04:41 PM
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#31 |
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Ezekiel 25:17
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Cena: I squish your head. Paul: Stop that. It was at this exact moment that Heyman and Cena realized that those clams were, in fact, not good. Three Words: Biggest Teabag Ever. Even though Noble and Nidia thought that this angle was working, her nipples realized it wasn't going over and tried to escape. Scotty realized that he had accidently put on Rikishi's pants. |
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01-17-2004, 06:02 PM
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#32 |
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SEX APPEAL
Posts: 13,830
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Cena was much more considerate than Vince. He offered to clean the stench of shame offf Paul Heyman after his sharpshooter screwjob. |
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01-17-2004, 08:00 PM
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#33 |
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Posts: 32
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Paul was shocked as Cena blantantly used an aerosole for no reason
Paul: This is what happens when environment laws are not followed!
Noble's attempts to give Nidia back her eyesight with a stare contest were dommed to fail
Jobber twin forces activate!
Seconds later eyeballs shot out of both wrestlers eyes and exploded
Rikishi : I don't remember having a jobber for lunch!
Haas loved the Basham's wrestling attire so much - he had to have some of his own
Eddie's idea of recuiting the invisible man as his tag team partner worked out when he attacked Chavo snr. from behind
Although eddie didn't want to limbo, he was going under the Chavo limbo stick
As good a liar as he was, there was no way that he could convice the other FBI members that he was the tallest
Chuck was taken aback - Nunzio really was the tallest
The big show was gonna get that Funaki mole off his back one way or the other.
Cena would have took the ref's head off but he then realised someone had beat him to it
The ref found Cena and Heyman's comedy routine funny as hell
Even from a distant Rhyno's body odour was overpowering
Eventually Rhyno passed out from the smell
Although his parents always said not to make faces incase the wind changes direction, Paul never believed them
Heyman didn't take too kindly to Cena's offer to do up his wardrobe
Paul was shocked as Cena tried to tempt him away from his diet
Paul proved everybody wrong when he drew blood from the soap Last edited by Chyno; 01-17-2004 at 08:01 PM. Reason: Mispelling |
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01-18-2004, 11:47 PM
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#34 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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The ref just picked the worst time to try his remote Cena ass cannon. Moments later, Cena hit his head on the sky wrench. Reason # 74 to have a blind girlfriend: You'll never lose a staring contest. Reason # 26 to have a blind girlfriend: When she's talking about that time of the month you can put her in front of someone who doesn't speak clear English while you use the restroom, and she won't notice anything at all. A match for the ages... Friend aginst friend.... There are no rules... Two men enter... One man leaves.... Two men who have been held back... They shared their fair share of blood, sweat, tears... not to mention piss breaks... Two men still aren't over... JobberMania 2004! |
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01-18-2004, 11:49 PM
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#35 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Oh! One more!
Scotty: I'll never forgive you for what you did! Rikishi: What do you mean? Scotty: Put a little ass on it... You'll say the fires of hell are but a mere spark when you see flames of my rage! |
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01-19-2004, 10:44 PM
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#36 | |
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Posts: 18,357
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Quote:
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Linear Mode
