SmackDown! Captions [2/26/04]

[Rock Bottom]

Kurt Angle posed for his "WWE Main Event" identifcation card, a new requirement enforced by Vince McMahon to assure that people like Hardcore Holly would never falsely enter themselves in a main event.


Eddie Guerrero was frustrated at Heyman, already having lined up two challengers for his Illegal Immigrant Title.


Jamie "The Cloak" Noble showed Mysterio that by placing his legs in his interdemensional torso, that his legs would appear somewhere else. In this case, the upper-right of the two.


It all came back to haunt Noble when Rey came shooting out of his torso to cover Kidman before Jamie could.


When Rey asked Nunzio to sell the West Coast Pop, this isn't what he had in mind.


Scottie always wanted to be elevated, but he was amazed to discover that of all things, a single fart would do the trick.


When the ump delcared that it was indeed a foul ball, Bradshaw carried Scotty back to second base.


As the fist of Triple H showed up in the match, Bradshaw did his best to please it by hitting the pedigree.


Scotty was so sick of these foul balls and pointed for the first baseman to make the call.


Unlike other WWE champions, Eddie actually had to keep his hand on the belt to keep it over his shoulder.


Brock and Billy misunderstood the term "chicken-wing cross-face."


Like Bradshaw, Billy knew he was toast in this match and asked the ref how many pushes he had left.


Brock couldn't go through with the F-5 when all the sudden he felt multiple pairs of lips teasing at his neck.


Torrie and Sable demonstrated, using the mic, exactly what they had to do to get on the cover of Playboy.


The Divas went at it with Cena in a game of rock-paper-scissors, but little did they know Cena was about to use the bomb.


But that Sean O'Haire was coaching the Divas by telling them what John was about to throw... that sonofabitch!


John Cena was embarassed. Apparently, when he said, "You can't see this," and whipped out his penis, he was right.


As Show went for the chokeslam, Cena was a step ahead in employing a hoss of his own, and Show was blind-sided by Mimi from the Drew Carey show!


In the prehistoric era, many people would battle for the rights of calling someone his mate. It was in cases like these that the Chavos would be screwed. (Literally.)


When the ref did the whole "make my hand look like a pussy" trick, Show and Cena faught over who would get to see a pussy that close for the first time.


John Cena takes out his frustrations on Chavo Sr., claiming that "it's people like him that come in and steal our jobs."


Rita knew she had the battle won, when her overgrown monster put an end to the Black Ranger once and for all.


Kurt Angle does his impression of the 5-minute gaps in Triple H's promos.


Eddie was under even more pressure, when not only did he have two contenders for the Illegal Immigrant Title, but Heyman had formed a "Border Patrol" stable!


As they went to arrest Eddie Guerrero, Eddie noticed something about one of the patrolmen, and he assured them that his green card was in his wallet.


But when they fell for the trick, Eddie began his escape. Eddie was a clever guy to notice that one of them was Zach Gowen!


Eddie: Will you wait for me?
Kurt: Yes! *Crying* YES!