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Old 04-01-2004, 03:42 AM   #1
Tiken
 
Posts: 149
Tiken does not have that much rep yet (10+)
Eddie NO!

Famous WWE wreslter Eddie Guerrero attempts to squish children

ORLANDO, Florida (AP), March 31st 2004
Yesterday evening around 4:00pm outside Orlando (Florida) Eddie Guerrero proffessional WWE superstar stole a World War 2 Era Sherman Tank from the near by US army Museam for historical war memorabilia. The WWE superstar who is a native of Mexico and rumored Illegal immigrant was able to alude the guards by quickly and switfly scaling the fences, this is course came easily for Guerrero as he was forced constantly too scale the many border fences seperating Mexico and the US, as he was using body to smuggle drugs through the country into the US.

Apon breaching the security of the museam Guerrero made his way into the Museam Vehicale hold and hijacked a WW2 era Sherman Tank. Eddie then finding it ironically full of fuel drove it out of the Museam and headed for Orlando itself. Minutes after stealing the war machine local police were alerted and quickly set out to stop the ex-wrestler now turned amatuer - Shawn Nelson. A chase insued but police were helpless to stop Eddie and the tank, as they enterd the Orlando sub-burbs Eddie veerd the tank off the road and headed straight into the school yard of Eric Heyman Jr. elementry school. The school which has a total of 619 students was asualted violently as the tank speared into the school causing mass scale damage, witnesses said it was as if an F5 tornado hit the school. As the tank created a huge hole in the school kids came flooding out screaming and yelling, the police couldent do anything but help and look aimlessly on as Eddie chased kids around in circles creating massive donughts in the field like never seen before, after a while of waiting the tank finally ran out of gas and putterd to a stop. When stopped Eddie was dragged from the Tank and arrested, Eddie who neglected to comment on his title run after the kids sat blurry eyed as he had his illegal ass dragged from the scene.

This inccedent once more proves that Illegal Immigrants especially those that are in pocession of a world title or wear masks, should not be allowed to drive tanks! Nor be allowed to chase children to exustion.
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