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Old 04-22-2010, 10:51 PM   #1
Xero
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Okay, am I the only one who thinks "Dennis Stamp on a Trampoline" when looking at Speedo guy?
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Old 04-23-2010, 12:19 AM   #2
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Hey now buddy... Xero knows his shit.
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Old 04-23-2010, 12:44 AM   #3
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Hey now buddy... Xero knows his shit.
Make no mistake about it, he knows no more than you or me. He just runs his mouth a little more, oh wait a second, a lot more. Now I know he has over 400,000 posts, or whatever the number is, but the fact is he talks out of his ass most of the time. Like I said at the start, he knows no more than any one of us do, so don't put him on some kind of pedestal like he deserves to be there.
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Old 04-23-2010, 01:05 AM   #4
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I hate to be that guy, but please stop your embarrassing yourself. Your are a fool. Sorry, but it's true. A brave fool, but a fool none the less. This is discusting btw
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Old 04-23-2010, 01:16 AM   #5
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You are just so stupid it astounds me.
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Old 04-23-2010, 01:23 AM   #6
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LOL @ the interviewer/ref
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Old 04-23-2010, 02:01 AM   #7
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Everybody else seems to have the wrestling covered--and seeing as Destor's done quite a bit more in the ring than I have, I'll go ahead and keep my two cents out of his way.

That being said, I am an actor certified with the National Forensics League and have competed at the state and regional level. My oratory is a bit rusty since I never competed out of highschool, but I think I could provide a sufficient word or two concerning the promos.

Let me ask: did you write the promos ahead of time? Did you think about what you were going to say prior, or did you speak on the fly? Did you practice at all prior?

There's alot of mumbling, alot of rushing of certain lines and otherwise inconsistent rates, alot of stuttering and dragging. Statements need to be crisp, concise, clear and audible. If you know you're going to be cutting a recorded promo ahead of time, there's no excuse for not practicing--at the very least to keep you from ssstumbling through lines. The interview looks completely on the fly, and you seem to be fumbling for what to say next at times, or searching for words.

The actual promos, on the other hand... ugh. You at least appear to have thought about what you're going to say, but alot of these lines are just terrible. "Somebody just came by and egged your... house." "All these crazy words flying at you~"

I can literally hear the shaking in your voice. There's no reason to be that nervous on a taped promo, you can just tape back over it if you fuck up. Unless you're a natural improviser--and you're clearly not--you need to be writing all of your shit ahead of time. Actually, seriously writing it. Or typing it in Wordpad, I don't really give a shit. Memorize at least the key points, if not the entire thing--a promo's not really that big to begin with, memorizing it shouldn't be hard. Work toward an actual point and build up to it, don't just work from one rehashed wrestling cliche to another. "This is my ring. Mind games. I'm a killer, I'll retard you or whatever. Be afraid and shit." Pick a point and settle on it, and spend the rest of the promo mountaining up to that.

And for God's sake, play a character. Have a fucking personality. You don't sound intimidating or sadistic or smart. You sound like a kid that watches wrestling alot, that's about fucking all. You need to have some sort of driving agenda behind your character. You're jumping from mindgames to music to movies to sex jokes to poop jokes to whatever the hell just seems to pop into your head at the time, and there's no cohesion or drive or centering point. Are you cocky? Are you crazy? Are you just some dude rambling at the camera? Envisioning what sort of wrestler you're attempting to come across can pave the way toward what you should be saying to your opponent. You're sort of all over the place--saying "ain't" in one promo, but then talking about disabling your opponent's ability to do arithmetic. ...And then talking about music in the next promo.

You're all over the place across what, three promos? You don't need a real gimmick or anything, but it is hard to take a promo anything near seriously when you come off as a kid talking shit. You're trying, first and foremost, to convince either your opponent or your audience (or both) that you're going to win your match. You're attempting to influence opinions and change minds. You're attempting to convince. Keep that in mind. Don't just talk to be talking. Alternatively, you're trying to entertain and/or be humorous, in which case, you have alot of work to do because that was pretty bland.

Referencing WWE and TNA and ROH wrestlers and events in your promos = Unprofessional. Makes you sound like a mark, steer away from it. Period. Your fed is your fed. Your fed is all that matters when you're cutting a promo in it. Pretend other feds don't exist.

Like I said, my actual in ring experience is pretty slim (I'm still in training myself), so some of this might be a little skewed and those with more experience at actual promos than myself can feel free to correct me on any of this. I'm just throwing out some general speech advice, and trying to curve it around wrestling. Really, your stuff's sloppy enough that I don't know honestly know where to begin, I'm just sorta pissing in a lake here.

And for fuck's sake, talk to somebody about firing that guy in the blue shirt.
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Old 04-23-2010, 02:06 AM   #8
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After watching the second promo for about 30 seconds I'm convinced that your "trainers" have never stepped foot outside the backyard.

Don't know why THAT lead me to this conclusion, but yeah.
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Old 04-23-2010, 02:23 AM   #9
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Im being trained at a legit place tmrw i just wanted a little ringtime to start out
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Old 04-23-2010, 05:13 AM   #10
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Im being trained at a legit place tmrw i just wanted a little ringtime to start out
still laughin at it.my god you are the worst backyarder ever,even e mailed the link to some mates and they didn think it was real,didnt think someone would embarrass themselves to that extent.

you my friend are joke of the day
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Old 04-23-2010, 02:24 AM   #11
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Okay, you're bouncing between having 100 hours of in-ring training, to being trained for a day, to going to a "legit" place tomorrow.

Which is it?
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Old 04-23-2010, 02:35 AM   #12
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Nevermind that "a little ringtime" can completely fuck up legitimate training.
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Old 04-23-2010, 09:45 AM   #13
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Clox you suck.
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Old 04-23-2010, 11:19 AM   #14
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"spectacular at bumping' you are such a fag.
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Old 04-23-2010, 11:36 AM   #15
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"spectacular at bumping' you are such a fag.
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Old 04-23-2010, 12:09 PM   #16
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It's amazing how you suck the dick of ROH and then think you can wrestle after one day of training. You realize the work those guys put in? You even thinking you can go a minute in the ring is disrespectful to the guys whose dicks you suck ALL THE TIME.
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Old 04-23-2010, 12:56 PM   #17
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It's amazing how you suck the dick of ROH and then think you can wrestle after one day of training. You realize the work those guys put in? You even thinking you can go a minute in the ring is disrespectful to the guys whose dicks you suck ALL THE TIME.
You are fucking gorgeous, hit him again Dale. Clox and Clark shud fuck like Billy and Chuck
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Old 04-23-2010, 01:06 PM   #18
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Dude I'm not just saying this to be a jackass or anything, but I was embarrassed for you as I watched that.
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Old 04-23-2010, 01:14 PM   #19
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HOLY FUCK I JUST ACTUALLY WATCHED IT THERE! Well, I watched up until you performed the 'dropkick' on the almost nude tubby guy anyway, you ran at him, stopped and then fell at him! Fucking hell man, i was better than you when i was 12 and had a tag team ladder match with my mates. This is surely a joke right?? If you were trained, which i highly doubt, id say it was no more than an hour and your trainer was probably Zach Gowan or a highly skilled glass bottle. Pathetic, awful, embarrassing, you are a LOSER in every way
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Old 04-23-2010, 01:16 PM   #20
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this is so sad/pathetic/hilarious/retarded on so many levels.

how bout before trying to "wrestle" you get the fuck in shape first? maybe start by gaining about 80 pounds so your moves would have maybe an ounce of credibility to them? a scrawny, nonathletic little shit like you has no place in the wrestling world.
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Old 04-23-2010, 01:18 PM   #21
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this is so sad/pathetic/hilarious/retarded on so many levels.

how bout before trying to "wrestle" you get the fuck in shape first? maybe start by gaining about 80 pounds so your moves would have maybe an ounce of credibility to them? a scrawny, nonathletic little shit like you has no place in the wrestling world.
how are you mr mcmahon? would you be so kind into giving us the 'scoop' on who is been FE'd next
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Old 04-23-2010, 01:24 PM   #22
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how are you mr mcmahon? would you be so kind into giving us the 'scoop' on who is been FE'd next
arsehole.

was that you in the video in the little black thong? bet it was
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Old 04-23-2010, 01:26 PM   #23
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arsehole.

was that you in the video in the little black thong? bet it was
no, i always wear crotchless chaps to the ring
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Old 04-23-2010, 01:29 PM   #24
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no, i always wear crotchless chaps to the ring (the male anal passage version)
I dont doubt it gimpy
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Old 04-23-2010, 01:33 PM   #25
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This is fucking hilarious. The guy in the short tights trained you? Hahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaah
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Old 01-05-2021, 10:40 AM   #26
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This is fucking hilarious. The guy in the short tights trained you? Hahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaah
Oh man I remember being quite cruel but he deserved it. What a funny thread and poster that I had completely forgotten about. Great bump
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Old 04-23-2010, 01:33 PM   #27
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The crowd made it work though
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Old 04-23-2010, 01:36 PM   #28
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LOL "The Natural Way" there is NOTHING natural about this shit nothing
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Old 04-23-2010, 01:40 PM   #29
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The fact that this guy posts here makes me not want too anymore.
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Old 04-23-2010, 01:55 PM   #30
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he'd call me chris too probly
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Old 04-23-2010, 02:01 PM   #31
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so you are 11 then? aww so cute. I hope you get to kiss a girl or boy someday before you die, chin up hun
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Old 04-23-2010, 02:06 PM   #32
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I'm not gonna criticise IC badly or nothing, but just gonna echo most peoples comments about getting some serious training done about the basics before you start any spots.

When I started training it was nothing but basics for a good month or two, with the only spots being small sequences involving basic moves like shoulder tackles, armdrags, hip-toss etc. We did start doing things like the Suplex and Body Slam pretty early on, but again nothing too flashy or dangerous.

Don't wanna be harsh or nothing, but that video was pretty embarassing to watch. Like others have said, forget about 'matches' and focus on basic moves. Everything else will come together in time.
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Old 04-23-2010, 02:36 PM   #33
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I didn't read most of this thread but yeah, you need serious training. Moves looked pretty bad tbh and way too much selling. lol @ the ref

on the plus side, it looks like a beautiful day out in that forest
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Old 04-23-2010, 02:38 PM   #34
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The ref kind of looks like Kane's retarded younger brother
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Old 04-23-2010, 02:40 PM   #35
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Originally Posted by The Franchise View Post
The ref kind of looks like Kane's retarded younger brother
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Old 04-23-2010, 02:48 PM   #36
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THere's something that's really bothering me: you have not had a match. please never say that again. that stuff you did was backyard man. it doesnt count.
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Old 04-23-2010, 02:50 PM   #37
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ps-if your training has been with them you havent had any training either. it:s like buying a McDonald's play set and putting it on a resum'e.
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Old 04-23-2010, 04:33 PM   #38
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Who the fuck would pay money to see you with your shirt off? You might want to get a better trainer because that guy looks like the lamest jobber to ever sit under Yokozuna's fat ass and heavy Samoan balls.
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Old 04-23-2010, 04:51 PM   #39
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Hey guys, long time reader, first time poster. I had no idea what to use my first post on until this came along, and I was compelled. If you're serious at all about wrestling, never go back to the forest/backyard. It will ruin any serious skill you may try to develop later.
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Old 04-23-2010, 05:11 PM   #40
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Also lol wrestling in the forest
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