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#1 |
Posts: 18,357
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Ah crap, I don't think this will go anywere.
2000 Stone Cold points to El Santo. If the Rob Van Dam was a motivational speaker..." |
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#2 |
FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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"Duuuuuude, it's like I told you. It's not enough to WANT Cheetos. You have to rise above yourself, reach out, and TAKE the Cheetos!"
"Mister Van Dam, this is a third-grade art class. What are you doing here?" "It's cool. Whoa! Clay!" |
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#3 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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OK, now we're talking.
ROB speaking to 8yr old kids about the dangers of drugs **Rob comes in a little high. Rob: OK kids, today I want to talk to you about how you roll th....Oh wait...about what you do when someone offers you an illegal substance... **Rob turns to teacher Rob: Wait is it legal or illegal? Illegal right? Well anyhow, when someone comes up to you and offers you drugs, you should always take some time and think about it first. Or is it that you should say NO right away? I always get this confused because if you say NO right away you might hurt the other guys feelings. Right? I would take a minute to think about it, and hey maybe you can get a discount. **Rob starts laughing and teacher tells him it's time to leave. ROB: Before I go, let me just say one thing. Doing Drugs only gets in the way of achieving goals...well, unless your name is....R.V.D. |
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#4 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Christ, I wrote a dam story.
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#5 |
Guest
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you guys love this and it derserves it, so my first act as MOD is to "Sticky" this bad boy. For now.
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#6 |
Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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Gene Snitsky's pregnant wife is laying on her back on the floor with her german shepard.. A knock on the door is heard.
Snitsky's wife: Come in. Snitsky enters the room with a sick smile on his face. Snitsky: Hello darling! Snitsky approaches his wife, but accidently trips over the dog and lands right on top of his pregnant wife. Snitsky's wife: GENE! OWWW! GENE! WHY DID YOU DO THAT? OW! I CAN'T FEEL THE BABY KICKING! I THINK HES DEAD! Snistky: It's NOT my fault! |
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#7 |
Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,123
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16 points to pork soda for stealing Corkies idea.
How the WWE would write Harry Potter. Last edited by Savio; 07-22-2005 at 02:44 AM. |
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#8 |
Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,123
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*RVD speaking to 3rd graders*
RVD (to teacher) : Hey duuude why didn't you play my music mannnn I'm R-V-D. Well anyways kids just be cool ya know cool. Kid: can you 5 star frog splash me RVD: no dude Kid: Please! *Kids start chanting 5 star* RVD: SHUT THE **** UP YOU LITTLE PEices duuuude where am I? Jeff hardy: Hey Rob! Lets smoke some pot! |
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#9 |
One Man Horror Show
Posts: 1,046
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To the tune of "Cabaret"
beings with A-Train, stting on a chair and facing its back, while a single solitary spotlight shines on him
What good is sitting alone in your room Come see the big hoss plaaaaaaaay, Life is a cabaret, old chum, Come to the cabaret. Come see my smoke, come see my flab, I'm now on Raw, and I'm celebrating, Right this way, your seat is waiting. I might be Derailing Benoit really soon, He might be depushed todaaaaaay, Life is a cabaret, old chum. Come see the cabaret. I'm the guy you know who's really slow & hairy, I wore a shirt 'cuz Droz said it looked scary. I wasn't what you call a blushing flower. As a matter of fact, I shaved my back last hour. The day she tried to shave my back she nicked me. I knew I shouldn't've powerbombed poor Stephanie. After they drugged me with a bottle of doped Jim Beeaaaamm, I was the happiest jobber Heat had ever seen. A-Train stand up, hand on the brim of his glittery top hat And as for me, as for me.... I made my mind up back in Smackdown I just might have to hold Rodney Mack down... A-Train is surrounded by Big Show, Brock, Nathon Jones, and Matt Morgan, the "Dancing Hosses", who do the can-can as the music picks up Start by admitting from cradle to tomb, It's been a long, long staaaaaaayyyy, Life is a cabaret, old chum, It's only a cabaret... Life is a cabaret, old chum, Come see the caba I want the caba I love the CABAREEETTTTTTTT!!!! Curtain closes Last edited by El Santo; 05-04-2004 at 11:38 PM. |
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#10 | |
\m/(-.-)\m/
Posts: 1,456
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Quote:
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#11 |
Posts: 61,551
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I don't know why, but this topic is harder than it should be.
![]() RVD: Hey guys. Keep jumping off buildings and smoking the sh*t! The day is yours. Kid: Even Moday & Thursday? Rob: No you little dumbass, they're my f'n nights! |
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#12 |
Soundly Defeated Wadding
Posts: 40,590
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Rob: Don't do drugs because I'm....ROB....VAN.....DAM
Kids: But Rob, that doesn't make sense. Rob: It doesn't matter cause I'm ROB....VAN....DAM Kids: Why do you keep saying that??? Rob: It's just something that I do cause I'm ROB...VAN... Kids: Oh Christ..... |
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#13 |
One Man Horror Show
Posts: 1,046
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Silly question:
Why's a motivational speaker talking to third graders? (Seems to be a running thread here and whatnot) |
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#14 | |
Posts: 61,551
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Quote:
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#15 |
*Oh Sh*t*
Posts: 19,302
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Duuuude... First all you need to do is chill. The first lesson is learning how to chill. After you have mastered that then learn how to ease yourself. Spell it with me
*points to self with each letter E...A...S...E After you have the ease inside of you, you can do whatever you want. You are now a master of yourself and soon you will be able to chill just like... and point to yourself when doing this... *points to self with each letter R...V...D I thank you for your time and now go and chill. |
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#16 |
Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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RVD:"My name is Rob Van Dam. I work for World Wrestling Entertainment, I am thrice de-pushed, and I live in a Van down by the river. Now, I know you kids are thinking, 'Rob, I'm gonna go out there, and grab the world by the tail, pull it down, and put it in my pocket!' Well, I'm here to tell you guys that as you go out there and sign a contract with VInce, you're not going to amount to JACK SQUAT!!!! Young lady, what do you wannna do with your life?!"
Stephanie:"I wanna be a booker for WWE!" RVD: "Well, LA-DEE-FREAKIN'-DA! Looks like we got ourselves a writer here!" Hunter: "Actually, Rob, we've really encouraged Steph in her writings." RVD: "Pal, I wish you would just shut your big yapper!" (Hunter writes down RVD's name in his 'to be buried' list) "Well, you'll have plenty of time for writing storylines, when you're living in A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!! Young man, what do you wanna do?!" Jeff Hardy: "I want to live in a van down by the river." RVD: "Well.....you'll have plenty of time for....living in a van down by the river....when you're.....you're living in A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!!" |
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#17 |
Yipee Kai Yay!!!
Posts: 5,705
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Sadly I cant think of anything for this. I must be thinking to hard. I will be back after a little RVD.
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#18 |
Guest
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lmao at Nowhere Man. "Hey kids I can't see very well, Is that Will Shakespeare over there". That's my favorite line.
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#19 |
Guest
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Well RVD is motivating the kids to go out and say NO to drugs. How about that?
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#20 |
*Oh Sh*t*
Posts: 19,302
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well for me RVD is speakin to a group that can at elast appreciate it
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#21 |
Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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(For Austin Nicknames) "So I was thinking of this new gimmick where I come to the ring wearing a wifebeater..."
(For RVD Motivational Speaker) RVD: "All right man... (Looking over the crowd) How are y'all doing, my name's... ROB (Fingerpoint) VAN (Fingerpoint) DAM (Fingerpoint) and I'm addicted..." Bob Saget: "You don't know anything about addiction! You ever sucked some dick for crack!?" RVD: "Hahahah, er... Nah dude... I got really high this one time though... And I drove to the arena, and almost crashed into the building, hahahah... But it's cool... Anyway I swear my Intercontinental Title is missing... I don't know where the hell I put it, and Vince hasn't even noticed since like December..." Crowd: "RVD, Randy Orton is the IC champ now." RVD: "Oh yeahhhh hahah, it's cool." Crowd: "I feel reformed, I will never smoke that much in my life." |
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#22 |
Posts: 61,551
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*For the Austin One*
"Bone Gold" Steve Austin. The Bionic Redneck turns heel and takes the world's supply of gold, and lacs his skeleton with it, feuding with Chris Benoit. |
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#23 |
Posts: 18,357
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Hm, one more rule. Once a round is over, you can't give suggestions for it anymore. Sorry.
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#24 |
Posts: 18,357
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A-Train: The Musical
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#25 |
FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
That is not a sweater There's no wool anywhere In fact, I think it's better I'm wearing only hair! WOO! |
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#26 |
Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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Heyyyyy
That's my shirt Ahhhhhhh Neverminddddddddd I was talking to someone that's different than youuuuuu (Rep for reference, if I can.) |
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#27 |
Posts: 61,551
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Blarghblugbunbotrincorieow!
Mueiejfbturhjdnbjffhvfughjdfjhrjrghfjghfjghdkfjrh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Runs at opponent on stage* ![]() |
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#28 |
Posts: 18,357
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Oh, that was classic, Santo!
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#29 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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The A-train song
One little two little three little back hairs! Four little five little six little chest hairs! Seven little eight little nine little leg hairs! A-train, the hairy hoss! |
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#30 |
Taller than Adam Cole
Posts: 10,876
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"Dude, life is like a game of Hungry, Hungry Hippos.... You see, we're all hippos, and we're like, hungry and stuff..."
(sorry, bad RVD/Kane skit rip off) |
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#31 |
jWo 4 Lyfe!
Posts: 3,268
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RVD: People of Michigan, Here me when I say that weed is the way forward. We can wipe out the pain of athritis, we can clear our minds and souls, just remember the old ancient proverb. Don't drink and drive.........Smoke weed and fly!
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#32 |
Takes my pain away
Posts: 2,793
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A-Train changed his name to Hair-Train.
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#33 |
PSN: SirHankScorpio
Posts: 1,363
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"Hey kids, RVD says make your Goals Higher, make your knowledge Higher..make yourselves HIGHER....Dude"
"be like R..V..D..Fly with confidence, then you'll have the motivation to order that pizza...Dude" |
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#34 |
PSN: SirHankScorpio
Posts: 1,363
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Whoops, only just saw the last rule. sorry.
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#35 |
PSN: SirHankScorpio
Posts: 1,363
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"one night only..the Fabulous Albert Train in Shampoo"
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#36 |
The Caption Crippler
Posts: 8,855
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El Santo ruled with that. Awesome stuff
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#37 |
Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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Hair (A-Train remix)
She asks me why...I'm just a hairy guy I'm hairy noon and night; Hair that's a fright. I'm hairy high and low, Don't ask me why; don't know! It's not for lack of heat Or all the cruiserweights I eat; darling Gimme a hoss with hair, long beautiful ha-aaaaaair! Shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen Give me down to there, hair! Shoulder length, longer (hair!) Here baby, there mama, Everywhere daddy daddy Hair! (hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair) Flow it, Show it; Long as Vince can push it, My Hair! Let it fly in the breeze and get caught in the trees Give a home to the fleas in my hair A home for fleas, a hive for bees A nest for stank; oh, God, it's rank The beauty, the splendor, the wonder of my Hair! (hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair) Flow it, Show it; Long as Vince can push it, My Hair! I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty Oily, greasy, fleecy, shining Gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen Knotted, polka-dotted; Twisted, beaded, braided Powdered, flowered, and confettied Bangled, tangled, spangled and spaghettied! O-oh, Say can you see; my eyes if you can, Then my hair's too short! Down to here, down to there, Down to where, down to there; It stops by itself! doo doo doo doo doot-doot doo doo doot They'll be ga-ga at the go-go when they see me in my toga My toga made of nasty, moldy, Biblical-pestillent hair My hair like King Kong wore it Hallelujah I adore it Hallelujah Vinnie pushed his son-in-law Why don't my Vinnie push me? |
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#38 |
Posts: 18,357
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500000000000000000000000 points to El Santo, and 4999999999999999999 points to Nowhere man.
![]() The world's worst referee. |
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#39 |
Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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(patiently waits for the Montreal reference)
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#40 |
Taller than Adam Cole
Posts: 10,876
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Micheal Cole: There's the cover
Ref. Arthur Pendragon: One...Two...Five... |
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