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Old 08-28-2012, 10:29 AM   #1
Kris P Lettus
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LMFAO
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Old 08-28-2012, 10:38 AM   #2
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Eli Manning aka the Comeback Kid aka Captain Clutch

Come see me Drew Brees. Tell me how my ass taste.
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Old 08-28-2012, 10:40 AM   #3
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December 9th, 2012
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Old 08-28-2012, 10:40 AM   #4
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it's a little known fact that Eli is actually latin for "two rings" boiiiiiiii
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Old 08-28-2012, 10:43 AM   #5
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Kissssssssss the rings bitch.
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Old 08-28-2012, 10:43 AM   #6
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*Elisha
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Old 08-28-2012, 12:00 PM   #7
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Quote:
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*Elisha
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Old 08-28-2012, 10:44 AM   #8
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Who do you play fantasy football with? Seems like no one in that league knows what they're doing.
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Old 08-28-2012, 10:44 AM   #9
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How so??
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Old 08-28-2012, 10:45 AM   #10
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Is each position the order in which you drafted them? Gore first, then Sproles, Thomas, etc.
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Old 08-28-2012, 10:49 AM   #11
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No

I got Brees, then Gore, then Witten..

Got thomas and sproles much later..
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Old 08-28-2012, 10:52 AM   #12
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Exactly. Gore as your 2nd pick? He's mad injury prone. Witten has a fucked up spleen. No tight end should be taken in the 3rd round. Surprised that you committed those crimes and still wound up with Trent Richardson, Sproles, Nelson, and Decker.
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Old 08-28-2012, 11:00 AM   #13
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As I said, it was a snake draft..

I got # 1 then had to wait for the # 15 and # 16.. Gore was the only "elite" RB left for my second pick..
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Old 08-28-2012, 11:09 AM   #14
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You're riding your team on Brees, and no one knows what to make of the Saints this year until a couple weeks in. Rodgers would've been a safer bet (even though he's a concussion away from being a vegetable).
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Old 08-28-2012, 11:09 AM   #15
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It's an 8 team league?
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Old 08-28-2012, 11:10 AM   #16
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Also, Eli Manning wins football games.
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Old 08-28-2012, 11:12 AM   #17
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and rings
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Old 08-28-2012, 11:15 AM   #18
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and rings
and MVPs.
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Old 08-28-2012, 11:52 AM   #19
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Have fun with Wayne Hunter, St Louis.
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Old 08-28-2012, 11:13 AM   #20
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I like how you said you wanted to draft Eli then shit talked him. The fact that you wanted him negates your right to tease him.
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Old 08-28-2012, 11:52 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Triple Naitch View Post
I like how you said you wanted to draft Eli then shit talked him. The fact that you wanted him negates your right to tease him.
Where did I "shit talk" him??

I'm an Ole Miss fan, used to hang out with him in Oxford, and have always been a fan of his..

Stop trying so hard..
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Old 08-28-2012, 11:54 AM   #22
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Almost 9 years ago..

http://tpww.net/forums/showpost.php?...8&postcount=17
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Old 08-28-2012, 12:03 PM   #23
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That is his name, so for his name to be actually latin for "two rings", it would be Elisha, not Eli..
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Old 08-28-2012, 12:11 PM   #24
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the full Elisha in latin is actually "3rd ring a'comin"
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Old 08-28-2012, 12:31 PM   #25
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And at least Eli doesn't have a poop stain on his face.
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Old 08-28-2012, 12:54 PM   #26
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I love Eli so much. Crazy to think he's entering his 9th season. He's gonna wind up retiring as the best QB in franchise history, he might already be there now.
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Old 08-28-2012, 01:06 PM   #27
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I've never wavered in my support of Eli. Even when he had some rough years.
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Old 08-28-2012, 02:09 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gonzo View Post
I've never wavered in my support of Eli. Even when he had some rough years.
I was ready to move on from Eli after that horrific game against Minnesota in 2007. I was worried that he was already regressing in his career. So happy he's ended up being an elite quarterback after all that. Anybody who says otherwise is just in denial.

Speaking of which, I'm looking forward to another year of The BS Report's weekly football shows with Cousin Sal ranting about Eli being lucky, not good.
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Old 08-28-2012, 01:59 PM   #29
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Stacked.
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Old 08-28-2012, 01:59 PM   #30
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Ermax knows whats up.
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Old 08-28-2012, 02:04 PM   #31
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Old 08-28-2012, 03:20 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by Innovator View Post
Tebow must've thought God was open.
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Old 08-28-2012, 02:10 PM   #33
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Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaash Freeman
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Old 08-28-2012, 02:46 PM   #34
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Not gonna lie, I'm a little upset Washington cut Cooley.
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Old 08-28-2012, 02:57 PM   #35
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Brian Westbrook is going to retire as an Eagle.
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Old 08-28-2012, 10:12 PM   #36
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Standard Yahoo league draft today (10 teams, 3 WR, 2 RB, no flex):

QB
Aaron Rodgers, Carson Palmer

RB
Jamaal Charles, Frank Gore, Reggie Bush, Rashad Jennings

WR
A.J. Green, Antonio Brown, Justin Blackmon, Nate Washington, Reggie Wayne, Malcom Floyd

TE
Aaron Hernandez

K
Matt Prater

DEF
Philadelphia

Really like my team. Had the #2 pick. I did kinda fuck up at one point though, the draft had snaked back around to me and I was deciding between Hernandez, Vernon Davis, or Vincent Jackson as my 3rd WR. Ended up going Hernandez because I really think he's gonna have a monster year, possibly even outplaying Gronk. Davis and Jackson then immediately went off the board. Of course if I had taken Jackson I would have still been guaranteed one of the 2 TEs I was debating. I have more than enough options for the #3 WR anyway.

Kinda sad to not get the token Giant player I always seem to wind up with. Was gonna get David Wilson with my second to last pick but he got snagged.
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Old 08-28-2012, 10:42 PM   #37
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You might be able to get him if he doesn't play in the first couple games
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Old 08-29-2012, 10:11 AM   #38
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Old 08-29-2012, 11:26 AM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Deadspin Why Your Team Sucks = Patriots
Why Your Team Sucks 2012: New England Patriots
Drew Magary
Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here.

1. OW-AH FANS AHHH BETTAH THAN YOUR-AH FANS! New England sports fans are the worst sports fans on the face of the Earth. They're fucking awful in every way, and I can barely stand the sight of them. People from Boston labor under the mistaken belief that being a relentlessly cynical asshole makes you tough. Endearing, even. They believe their deliberate misery makes them harder and deeper than you. It's all BULLSHIT. A truly tough man keeps his chin up when life gets difficult. When life gets difficult for a Boston fan, he calls WEEI eight times a day to wail like a fucking BITCH. There's nothing tough about these people. France could invade New England tomorrow and seize 80 percent of the land with minimal effort, because Tommy from Quinzee would be too busy demanding that the bartender put more Everlast songs on the jukebox.
And the worst part of it all is that Boston fans have somehow managed to colonize the media industry. EVERYONE at Football Outsiders is a Pats fan (which explains that site's reluctance to give the Giants ANY credit for winning two Super Bowls against them). Everyone at ESPN is a Red Sox fan. And everyone in the fucking comedy writing industry is a Boston fan. It's insane. It's like a goddamn cabal.

And then we have Bill Simmons, who takes his lame "I talk just like all fans do!" excuse and proceeds to beat you over the head with his homerism like it's a fucking tire iron. People here get ornery whenever we take shots at Simmons, but it's not our fault that the man is so grotesquely self-involved and humorless that he can say shit like, "I can't imagine any fan base has experienced more extreme highs and lows over a 10-year span" with a straight face. Hey, you know what? GO TO HELL. Every fan goes through highs and lows, and yours are no more special than anyone else's. If I hear one more goddamn Boston fan say, "This may be the least likable team in Red Sox history!" I'll shit in their coffee. No one gives a fuck where this Red Sox team ranks on your imaginary historical likability scale. You are not the sun around which the rest of the sporting solar system revolves. Why don't you go beat off to Ben Affleck wearing every Boston sports jersey in The Town and quit smothering the rest of the country with your insufferable bullshit? All of you are horrible and diseased.

2. They don't even like the Patriots. I have a dirty little secret, and that is that I spent more time in my life living in New England—13 years—than living anywhere else. I went to prep school in New Hampshire (I know, I know, I'm a dipshit). I went to college in Maine. My parents have lived in northern Connecticut for over two decades. I hung out with a lot of New England sports fans before 2001, and I'm going to tell you something: Before 2001, Boston sports fans HATED the Patriots. It's not that they ignored the Patriots; it's that they absolutely loathed them. The Patriots didn't have the championship tradition of the Celtics, nor did they have the compelling (to Boston people, at least) sob story of the Red Sox, nor the Bawbby fackin' Orr scrappitude of the Bruins. The Patriots were given all the love and support of a Russian foster child.

And now Pats fans are the most insufferable species of human being. They ALWAYS want you to think that they're smarter than you because their coach is smarter than anyone else. Meanwhile, you couldn't get these people to watch a Pats game in September and October if you offered them a thousand bucks and a Kate Upton rimjob. Secretly, they can't wait to go back to hating the Pats and having more free time to dote on their precious, dipshit Red Sox. They're the worst.

3. The defense is still puke. I could watch this team lose to the Giants in the Super Bowl every year. I never want to stop seeing them fail on a national stage. And there's no reason to think they won't do so again. Pass rushers Andre Carter and Mark Anderson are gone now. The Pats will take three-and-a-half minutes just to get anywhere near the quarterback. The secondary is still horrible, and no amount of creative engineering by Belichick (LOOK! He has Aaron Hernandez playing safety! He's such a rebel!) can mask it. This is a still a team perfectly designed to go 12-4 in the regular season thanks to a soft schedule and a kickass passing offense, and then choke in the playoffs once they're forced to run the ball and Eli Manning hangs three touchdowns on them in the final 70 seconds of regulation. I can't wait.

4. Fucking cheaters. There's a whole book out now about just how greatly the Patriots benefited from stealing defensive signals during games. The spying was so extensive, according to one of author Bryan O'Leary's sources, that Tom Brady might've known the defensive calls ahead of time on over 70 percent of his snaps. That's fucking CHEATING. No wonder the Patriots haven't won a Super Bowl since 2004. No wonder supposed offensive genuises like Charlie Weis and Josh McDaniels turned to sandy diarrhea after striking out on their own. It's all so obvious in retrospect. You cheated, and now you suck because you can't cheat. TEAR DOWN THE BELICHICK STATUE.
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Old 08-29-2012, 01:53 PM   #40
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