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#481 |
The Caption Crippler
Posts: 8,855
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Guy 1: "Hey look, a spider!"
Guy 2: "Kill it! Kill it!" *taps furiously* |
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#482 |
Cranky Kong
Posts: 78,671
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Marry the boss's daughter.
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#483 |
Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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Wrestler Doing Submission: Simon says touch your head. Simon says hold your nose. Simon Says smack your head. Pound the mat! Gotcha! Simon didnt say.
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#484 |
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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(Match starts, Triple H punches Benoit)
Hebner: RING THE BELL! The Fink: Here is your winner, by submission, Triple H! Benoit: Oh that is bull (Triple H's music hits) JR: BAH GAWD THEY'RE IN CAHOOTS! |
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#485 | |
PSN: SirHankScorpio
Posts: 1,363
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Quote:
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#486 |
Art Teacher
Posts: 89
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Lita: If you don't tap now Kane promised to start singing greatest hit songs
Kane: You are so beautiful....to meeee Matt Hardy: Oh shit *taps* |
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#487 |
Posts: 18,357
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![]() Randy Orton: Politician and/or Diplomat |
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#488 |
Incoming Text
Posts: 2,646
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**Randy Orton enters the St.AlbaNys morgue, and bows his head in front of the corpse splayed out on the table**
" Mr. Ronald Reagan, i'm here to just give my thanks for all of the good you've done done for this country. You were one of our greatest Presidents! In fact, in some people's eyes, you are considered a legend!" **takes off his hat** "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Randy Orton....legend killer." RKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JR: "BAH GAWD RKO TO REAGAN!" |
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#489 |
The Caption Crippler
Posts: 8,855
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#490 | |
So long, Eddie! miss you.
Posts: 1,910
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Quote:
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! |
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#491 | |
Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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Quote:
![]() Tacky as hell, dude. Plus, funeral angles always suck. |
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#492 |
Incoming Text
Posts: 2,646
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lol i tried, here i'll throw somethin else out.
News Reporter: "....and were receiving reports now that about an hour ago, a man broke into the Legends of Wrestling National Gathering in D.C. Though reports are still being sifted through, it appears that the man sprinted through and delivered some variation of a neckbreaker to over a hundred people. Updates will come as the sitiuation is resolved. And now to Al for Sports...." |
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#493 |
FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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ORTON: Hello, and sorry for interrupting previously-scheduled programming. I just thought the world might like to know that the new Iraqi government is now at 63%. Thank you.
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#494 |
One Man Horror Show
Posts: 1,046
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JR: "... and now, we come to you LIVE at the White House as Randy Orton meets former president of Poland and a LEGEND in the Solidarity Movement, Lech Walesa. They're shaking hands and... Bah GAWD! President Orton has hawked a loogie on Walesa's face! How can he do this! The man is a Nobel Peace Prize Winner! He oversaw the Fall of Communism! That SON OF A BITCH!"
King: "Walesa had it coming to him. You know that man served time in prison?" JR: "Well yes, under the communist regime, King..." |
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#495 |
Cranky Kong
Posts: 78,671
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Randy Orton and his campaign advisor are mingling at some random political get together, sipping cocktails and whatever the fu>ck.
Orton: So, that guy over there is who I'm running against, huh? Advisor: That's right, Mr. Orton. He's considered somewhat of a legend around these parts. It'll be a tough victory. Orton: Legend? Right. Hey listen buddy, I'll be right back. Randy slowly walks over to his competitor on the other side of the room who has his back turned to him. Suddenly, Randy breaks into a full run and attempts an RKO...but misses. His competitor is startled. Competitor: Mr. Orton! Exactly what the hell are you doing? Orton: Uhhh....hey, sorry about that man. I noticed your collar was crooked, thought I'd fix it for you. Competitor: O....K. Thanks.....I guess. Orton: No problem. Be seein' ya. Randy mumbles to himself before backing up and running at his competitor once more... |
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#496 |
Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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Press Conference being held on C-SPAN
Reporter: Mr. Orton, you have very little to no real experience in politics, so what made you decide to run for President? Orton: Well, my Dad used to be a politician. Plus, I'm a new guy, so everyone will have to love me and come up with excuses for my under-developed skills while my party pushes me to the Oval Office. Orton fan-boys cheer and scream and cry like teenage girls at a Beatles concert Reporter: Many critics have pointed out that aside from the heavy support from your political party, you have no true credentials, with the exception of riding on the coat-tails of past successes and more experienced politicians. How do you respond to that? Orton: That's a blatant lie. I've never copied off of anyone or taken anyone else's trademarks in my life. Orton fan-boys carry on like televangelists during the Second Coming of Christ Reporter: While it's true that you are making quite a splash in the immediate political scene, most analysts show that most all of your plans won't last in the long run. What is your answer to that? Orton: Ummmm.....uhhhh.... Ric Flair comes out and finishes the press conference for him, while Orton stands around uselessly and smirking, thus making the Orton fan-boys die of orgasmic joy |
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#497 |
Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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*bump*
Dammit, I hate being a thread-killer! |
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#498 |
Incoming Text
Posts: 2,646
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i tried, but i just can't top ya nowhere man
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#499 |
Posts: 18,357
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-10000 points to hulkamania. Even though it was a joke... not funny to RKO Ronald Reagan.
![]() If John "Bradshaw" Layfield had been Hitler... |
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#500 |
Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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(Vince secretly approaches Bradshaw backstage)
You know Bradshaw, the "movement" could need a financial advisor. eroigueriguehroigeroig you edited the scene Ok... I got nothing for the new one. ![]() |
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#501 |
Posts: 18,357
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Reporter in 1938: "In other news, our Socialist Party leader, John Bradshaw Hitler, spoke at a rally in an effort to rouse our mighty German troops preparing to enter battle in this new world war. Two hours later, French soldiers entered the streets of the capital, Berlin..."
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#502 |
Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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Thought one up
JBL: And I'd just like to warn all of you Jews out there... HHH: Excuse me. (Tapping Bradshaw on the shoulder) JBL: (Turns around and gets pedigreed and butt raped) HHH: Just a warning. Before you even think about it, don't add any H's to your name. ![]() |
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#503 |
Posts: 18,357
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I liked mine better.
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#504 | |
Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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Quote:
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#505 |
Triple A's a bitch
Posts: 1,039
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Reporter in 1939:
Shock Talks Between 'Bradshaw' Hitler and 'Eddie' Churchill After Germany was declared a main-event threat to the security and peace of Europe by Mr Angle, spokesman for the British Government, there have been unconfirmed reports of a secret meeting taking place between Bradshaw Hitler and Eddie Churchill discussing the potential for war. Items that have been rumoured to have been discussed also include Germany's reliance on Britain to carry the fight, and the agreement that if things head towards a finale, they may get bloody. We have also heard shocking rumours that if the war is not finished to a satisfactory conclusion, both sides may engage in an impromptu rematch. At this time there is speculation that this potential war may be a done deal, however Britain presently reigns supreme, and may I ask you all to hope and pray that it may continue. Michael Cole World Wide Events News |
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#506 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Bradshaw: Forward, fellow believers! Let us rid this world of the Latino plague! I guarantee, I absolutely guarantee that I, Adolf Bradshaw Hitler will emerge with a victory tonight!
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#507 |
Posts: 18,357
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(warning: the following joke *may* offend some people. I'm sorry if it does, but I'm gonna try it anyway)
Bradshaw: "And all the Jews are thus sentenced to be shipped to Auschwitz, where they shall be tortured by being put in chambers and forced to watch Ironman matches between myself and Bobcore Hollysilini!!!" |
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#508 |
Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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(Bradshaw's bunker, the closing days of the war)
Nazi General: Mein Fuhrer, the Allies are closing in on the city! We must take you somewhere safe! Bradshaw: To hell with that! The Allies are nothing more than a bunch of twelve-year-old geeks that I used to beat up in high school; I don't need to hide from them! (Bradshaw peeks head out of bunker, and is immediately shot by a sniper) |
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#509 |
Posts: 18,357
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Bradshaw: "General, it is time to mount the attack. Prepare our troops to unleash a blitzkrieg of Clotheslines from Hell on the French opposition!!!"
General: "But sir, the enemy is armed with machine guns, bayonets, a calvary, and heavy artillery!" Bradshaw: "Silence! I am confident that our blitzkrieg of Clotheslines from Hell will overwhelm our unpatriotic and weak enemy and force them into submission!!!" 4 hours and 500,000 German deaths later... General: "Sir, we have been routed! What other maneuvers might we execute to salvage this disaster?" Bradshaw: "I dunno." |
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#510 |
Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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Famous Historian: By the summer of 1943, the British-made Colossus computer had cracked the German's infamous Enigma code, and now plans could be set for an Invasion of Europe. Allied casualties should have been appalling when they attacked the previously heavily-guarded Atlantic wall, but fortunately Bradshaw had routed all of his manpower to going after the "12-year-old geeks on their parents' computer," thus opening all of Fortress Europe to Allied attacks.
That, among several other things, is why John Bradshaw Layfield is commemorated here, on the History Channel's "History's Greatest Dumbasses." |
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#511 |
Posts: 18,357
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In an underground bunker in 1945... Bradshaw: Evan, my boy toy darling, get to the typewriter and write this letter as I dictate it to you. It shall contain my message to the German people. Evan: For the last time! My name is Eva! I'm a GIRL! Stop calling me your BOY toy!!! Bradshaw: You mean... all this time, I HAVEN'T been screwing a boy??? Eva(n): YES!!! Bradshaw: Dear god.... *swallows a cyanide caplet* |
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#512 |
Incoming Text
Posts: 2,646
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Reporter: " The Battle in Berlin officially ended today as U.S. and Soviet forces overwelmed Germanys capital. The search for Hitler did not last long; his body was found in a luxurious underground bunker. The Fuhrer apparently had mortal enemy of his own, as a note was found on his body. It read:
"Dear Bradshaw: Betrayls a Bitch ain't it?..............Damn." |
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#513 |
Posts: 18,357
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1000000 points to me for being *Strong Bad* TOTALLY AWESOME.
![]() WWE meets Star Wars |
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#514 |
Posts: 22,695
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Vince: Triple H.....I....am your FATHER!
Triple H: ![]() Vince: And Stephanie is your sister Triple H: ![]() Vince: urgh....You married your sister....and had sex with her! Triple H: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! |
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#515 |
FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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A-Train and Eugene are playing chess. Eric Bischoff and William Regal look on.
A-Train: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh Regal: He made a fair move. Screaming about it can't help you. Bischoff: Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Wookiee. Regal: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a...special person. Bischoff: That's 'cause "special people" don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that. A-Train: Grrf. Regal: I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, my dear boy: let the Wookiee win. |
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#516 |
Incoming Text
Posts: 2,646
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So Corky, i get -10,000 for the Reagan RKO, but you get a MILLION for a concentration camp joke? I want a recount!!!!
Before I go into this topic, i want to remind everybody about the RAW where Goldust dressed up as vader and went into the Big Shows locker room. Goldust: Big Show, the NWO never told you about your Father. Big Show.....I am your father. **Hits Show with fake lightsaber** **Nash comes in and kills Goldust** |
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#517 |
Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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**Triple H and Shawn Michaels face off for the 97th time**
HHH: When last we met, I was your student. The circle is complete; now I am the master. HBK: Only a master of evil, Hunter. You can't win. If you strike me down, I shall return with another gimmick match next month. |
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#518 |
Incoming Text
Posts: 2,646
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***Triple H to Shawn Michaels, after Michaels hand has been sliced off***
Triple H: "Join me. We can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen it. Together, we can rule the Galaxy as Father and Son." Michaels: "NO! I'll never join you!!!!" Triple H: Shawn......it is your DESTINY. Michaels: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! ***Throws himself off of RAW Stage ledge*** Last edited by Favre4Ever; 06-09-2004 at 02:47 PM. |
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#519 | |
Posts: 18,357
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Quote:
![]() Well... the points don't matter, remember? |
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#520 |
Posts: 18,357
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Chav Chav: "Hello! Meesa Chav Chav Classic! Meesa unite Gungans and Naboo!"
Boss Vince: "Yousa do good jobba! Weesa make you Cruisaweight Champion!!" Chav Chav: "Cruisaweight Champion?!" *faints and collapses* |
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