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Old 06-09-2004, 02:01 PM   #1
loopydate
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A-Train and Eugene are playing chess. Eric Bischoff and William Regal look on.

A-Train: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh
Regal: He made a fair move. Screaming about it can't help you.
Bischoff: Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Wookiee.
Regal: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a...special person.
Bischoff: That's 'cause "special people" don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that.
A-Train: Grrf.
Regal: I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, my dear boy: let the Wookiee win.
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Old 06-09-2004, 02:11 PM   #2
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**Triple H and Shawn Michaels face off for the 97th time**

HHH: When last we met, I was your student. The circle is complete; now I am the master.

HBK: Only a master of evil, Hunter. You can't win. If you strike me down, I shall return with another gimmick match next month.
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Old 06-09-2004, 02:11 PM   #3
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So Corky, i get -10,000 for the Reagan RKO, but you get a MILLION for a concentration camp joke? I want a recount!!!!

Before I go into this topic, i want to remind everybody about the RAW where Goldust dressed up as vader and went into the Big Shows locker room.

Goldust: Big Show, the NWO never told you about your Father. Big Show.....I am your father.
**Hits Show with fake lightsaber**
**Nash comes in and kills Goldust**
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Old 06-09-2004, 04:52 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hulkamania320
So Corky, i get -10,000 for the Reagan RKO, but you get a MILLION for a concentration camp joke? I want a recount!!!!

Before I go into this topic, i want to remind everybody about the RAW where Goldust dressed up as vader and went into the Big Shows locker room.

Goldust: Big Show, the NWO never told you about your Father. Big Show.....I am your father.
**Hits Show with fake lightsaber**
**Nash comes in and kills Goldust**


Well... the points don't matter, remember?
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Old 06-09-2004, 02:19 PM   #5
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***Triple H to Shawn Michaels, after Michaels hand has been sliced off***

Triple H: "Join me. We can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen it. Together, we can rule the Galaxy as Father and Son."

Michaels: "NO! I'll never join you!!!!"

Triple H: Shawn......it is your DESTINY.

Michaels: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
***Throws himself off of RAW Stage ledge***
Last edited by Favre4Ever; 06-09-2004 at 02:47 PM.
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Old 06-09-2004, 04:54 PM   #6
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Chav Chav: "Hello! Meesa Chav Chav Classic! Meesa unite Gungans and Naboo!"
Boss Vince: "Yousa do good jobba! Weesa make you Cruisaweight Champion!!"
Chav Chav: "Cruisaweight Champion?!" *faints and collapses*
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Old 06-10-2004, 04:21 PM   #7
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I woulda thought there'd be more entries for this....


If Bob Holly was Willy Wonka
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Old 06-10-2004, 05:58 PM   #8
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Oompah Loompah?
You're haven't paid your dues!!!!!!
*drowns little guy in chocolate river*

Later....

Charlie who?
You won a contest to get in here?
*Holly beats the shit out of him for no apparent reason*
You wait until you think you're just about to hit the big time, and I'll be there waiting......Matt, Charlie, whatever your name is!

Later.....

What do you mean this is a job?
I'm not doing a job for a chocolate factory!!
*beats the shit out of some random passerby*
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Old 06-10-2004, 07:19 PM   #9
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Oompaloompa: Willy, what shall we do now?
Holly: Go mop the floors, beetch!
Oompaloompa: But you were never this strict!
Holly: How ya like me now?
*Dropkicks the Oompaloompa*

OR....

Bush: Hi America!
AL Gore: You suck!
Bush: Indeed
(Flys away)
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Old 06-11-2004, 01:03 AM   #10
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I kinda reversed the roles here, so sorry for cheating.....

Wonka: "Now I'll ask you one more time: Are you SURE you didn't eat anything in my factory?"

Holly(Who's bloated like a balloon and colored purple): "What, are you calling me a liar?"

Wonka(defensive): "Woah, i'm just saying-"

Holly: "Hey shut up Wonka!"

(Rep for anyone who knows the Ref!)
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Old 06-11-2004, 03:42 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hulkamania320
I kinda reversed the roles here, so sorry for cheating.....

Wonka: "Now I'll ask you one more time: Are you SURE you didn't eat anything in my factory?"

Holly(Who's bloated like a balloon and colored purple): "What, are you calling me a liar?"

Wonka(defensive): "Woah, i'm just saying-"

Holly: "Hey shut up Wonka!"

(Rep for anyone who knows the Ref!)
I wanna say Family Guy
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Old 06-11-2004, 03:47 PM   #12
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Oompa Loompa: Oompa... Loompa... Doopa dee doo... He's going to job right... to... you...

Holly: STFU YOU LITTLE ORANGE PIECE OF SHIT! **Beats the hell out of him**
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Old 06-14-2004, 12:01 AM   #13
Nowhere Man
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Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Okay, this thread died, so I'm gonna come up with another category for us:

Strangely Booked Celebrity Appearances (No Arquette jokes, please)
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Old 06-14-2004, 01:22 AM   #14
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Orton: I understand that I'm supposed to kill Legands but him?

John Wayne Zombie: Listen here pilgrims. I'm gonna eat this here young ladies brains and there's nothing you can do to stop me.
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Old 06-14-2004, 01:41 AM   #15
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VINCE: Triple H, I really don't think it's a good idea to have Kobe Bryant come in and be mad at Kane, or you as it was, for gimmick infringement in the raping of Katie Vick.

HHH: Oh really? Hey sweetheart, can you come here for a minute?

(Stephanie McMahon bounces in. Triple H gives her 'the look'. Stephanie returns it with a knowing wink.)

STEPH: But DADDY! I WANT IT!

(Vince sighs)

VINCE: What's the Lakers' phone number?
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Old 06-14-2004, 02:19 AM   #16
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Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Cole: Look, Tazz, it's that masked luchadore who's been attacking Rey Mysterio for weeks now!
Tazz: Remember, last week, he won a #1 Contender shot at Rey's Cruiserweight Title. Let's see what he has to say!

**Mysterious Masked Luchadore looks at the crowd, then slowly takes off his mask**

Cole: Oh my God! I don't believe it!
Tazz: It can't be.....but it IS! It's....

Both: CHRISTOPHER WALKEN!!!!!!


My God, he is a scary-looking man.
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Old 06-14-2004, 02:16 AM   #17
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Vince: "Baw gawd! Seagal's got Triple in position! He's getting ready to deliver his dreaded Seagal Neck Breaker! Here it comes... YEAH!"
King: "IT'S OVER!"
*Triple H no-sells and gets back up*
Vince: "NO IT'S NOT!!!"
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Old 06-14-2004, 10:02 AM   #18
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Vince: Okay Hunter, Ive booked WrestleMania's main event! It's gonna be you, and TX from the Terminator... You gotta job...

**TX walks in**

HHH: But she's a woman!

**TX morphes her hand into a Bazooka**

HHH: Oh shit...

Vince: Yeah, sorry about that, she's having her period...

(Bad joke, not intended to offend)
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Old 06-14-2004, 12:41 PM   #19
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^
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Old 06-14-2004, 09:02 PM   #20
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JR: Ladies and gentemen, I can't believe it, this battle royals getting out of control! Here comes our next participant...

***Glass Shatters***

King: It's the Rattlesnake!!

JR: STUNNER!STUNNER!STUNNER!STUNNER!STUNNER! AUSTINS STUNNED EVERYONE OUT OF THE RING!! HES STANDING ALONE!!BAH GAWD!

King: Here comes our next participant JR.....

***Its Raining Men sounds over the loud speakers***

JR: BAH GAWD ITS SIMMONS! ITS RICHARD SIMMONS!

King: Hes skipping his way down to the ring!!!

Austin:.....What?!?

**Throws himself out. Richard Simmons is now the #1 contender for the WWF Title**
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Old 06-15-2004, 09:55 AM   #21
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*bump*
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Old 06-15-2004, 10:00 AM   #22
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Survivor Series Match Up:
Team Lesnar: Brock Lesnar (returned), A-train, Big Show, Matt Morgan, Tyson Tomko (in place of Jones)

versus

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
JR: Bah Gawd! They're going after A-Train with the waxing strips! A-Train taps! A-Train taps! A-Train taps!
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Old 06-15-2004, 10:05 AM   #23
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*promo*
HHH: People say I look strange with a big nose. Let me tell you, you don't mess with the game here...

*Michael Jackson comes out*

Jackson: Well Hunter, I just got a new nose a week ago, you like it?

Trips:
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Old 06-15-2004, 02:39 PM   #24
loopydate
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JBL: Ah've been sayin' fer weeks that Ah'm a great American. And tonight, in mah match with Eddie Guerrero, Ah'm gonna introduce the world to ANOTHER great American.

Later, during the match

COLE: Eddie's going up top!
TAZZ: He's feelin' froggy, Cole!
COLE: He's--WAIT A MINUTE!
TAZZ: Is that--?
COLE: It is! John Kerry just pushed Eddie Guerrero off the top rope!
TAZZ: Clothesline From Hell!
COLE: John Bradshaw Layfield is the new WWE Champion!
TAZZ: And Kerry has just joined the Republican Party!
COLE: That son of a bitch! Why? Why, Senator Kerry? Why?
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Old 06-15-2004, 03:39 PM   #25
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We have a winner!!

10,000 points to loopy for hittin' it political style!

and 1000 points to Nowhere Man for picking up the slack over the weekend.

If wrestling ran PETA...
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Old 06-15-2004, 04:16 PM   #26
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The troops have gathered

VINCE: Okay, guys. In order to prevent any semblance of hypocrisy, we're going to be changing a few things around here. First of all, our World Champion will no longer be known as the "Rabid Wolverine," as that is derogatory toward carnivorous mammals with illnesses.
BENOIT: ...
VINCE: It's okay, we'll just go back to calling you the "Crippler."
BENOIT: That's not so bad.
VINCE: Unfortunately, there are bigger changes in store. Rhyno?
RHYNO: Yeah.
VINCE: Your name is offensive to rhinoceri with learning disabilities. From now on, we're calling you "Steve."
RHYNO: My real name is "Terry."
VINCE: That's a sissy name.
TERRY TAYLOR: Hey!
VINCE: You're "Steve," and you'll like it, dammit! Eddie Guerrero?
EDDIE: Orale, mi raza! Donde esta me gen--
VINCE: ...yeah. We need to make some changes with you.
EDDIE: What? No son animales in my gimmick, homes!
VINCE: "Frogsplash?" That's just BEGGING kids to throw frogs into water at damaging velocities. From now on, your finisher is the "Accordion splash."
RVD: Dude, that sucks. I have to do the "Five-Star Accordion Splash?"
VINCE: No. From now on, your finisher is a dropkick.
RVD: Not cool...
JR: BAH GAWD RATTLESNAKE SUMBITCH!
KING: PUPPIES!
JERICHO: What about them?
VINCE: Are you kidding? They're JR and the King! The fans LOVE them! They can keep on doing what they're doing.

Three weeks later, the company goes out of business.
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Old 06-15-2004, 07:22 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loopydate
The troops have gathered

VINCE: Okay, guys. In order to prevent any semblance of hypocrisy, we're going to be changing a few things around here. First of all, our World Champion will no longer be known as the "Rabid Wolverine," as that is derogatory toward carnivorous mammals with illnesses.
BENOIT: ...
VINCE: It's okay, we'll just go back to calling you the "Crippler."
BENOIT: That's not so bad.
VINCE: Unfortunately, there are bigger changes in store. Rhyno?
RHYNO: Yeah.
VINCE: Your name is offensive to rhinoceri with learning disabilities. From now on, we're calling you "Steve."
RHYNO: My real name is "Terry."
VINCE: That's a sissy name.
TERRY TAYLOR: Hey!
VINCE: You're "Steve," and you'll like it, dammit! Eddie Guerrero?
EDDIE: Orale, mi raza! Donde esta me gen--
VINCE: ...yeah. We need to make some changes with you.
EDDIE: What? No son animales in my gimmick, homes!
VINCE: "Frogsplash?" That's just BEGGING kids to throw frogs into water at damaging velocities. From now on, your finisher is the "Accordion splash."
RVD: Dude, that sucks. I have to do the "Five-Star Accordion Splash?"
VINCE: No. From now on, your finisher is a dropkick.
RVD: Not cool...
JR: BAH GAWD RATTLESNAKE SUMBITCH!
KING: PUPPIES!
JERICHO: What about them?
VINCE: Are you kidding? They're JR and the King! The fans LOVE them! They can keep on doing what they're doing.

Three weeks later, the company goes out of business.


"Steve"
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Old 06-15-2004, 06:30 PM   #28
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Michael Cole: I told you anything could happen in the WWE. Fifi is the new WWE Champion, defeated Eddie Guerrero after a shocking Cradle DDT called the "Ifif". She looks extremely happ...oh no Tazz! Here comes the new Panda order, better known as the World Wildlife Fund.

Crowd: *Boos*

Tazz: They made us change our name Cole!

*Pandas beat down Fifi. WWE loses viewers.*
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Old 06-16-2004, 02:34 AM   #29
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Um... nevermind.


WWE: The Theme Park
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Old 06-16-2004, 02:35 AM   #30
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Kid: "Mommy mommy! I want to go on that ride!!!"
Mom: "A ride with those Lita-Bar restraints? Oh hell no!"
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Old 06-16-2004, 04:15 AM   #31
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"Stone Cold Steve Austin's Stevewiser Stunner"
*Do not ride if pregnant*
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Old 06-16-2004, 08:12 AM   #32
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Theme Park Map:

If you smell what the Rock is cooking, turn left down Jabroni drive, turn right at the Smackdown Hotel, and enter the station to board the A-Train.
This will take you around the perimeter of the park.
You can get off the A-Train at any of the 4 stations, named Vince, Linda, Steph and Shane.

Visit such wondrous places as;

'The Wonder of Evolution', - a scientific explanation as to what DNA does to make up the best stable in HHH's opinion.
Experience our 'flight simulator' where you can be a flight stewardess and Ric Flair will expose himself to you (allegedly)
See the incredibly expensive 'Big Show' with performances on an occasional basis.
Or ride the 'Guerrero Blood Rapids', the fabulous fast log flume running from a statue of Eddie Guerrero's head.
Or if it's good clean fun you're after, why not throw a custard pie at our 'Comedy Jobber Cruiserweights', available all over the park.

Please ensure that your tickets are stamped at the Cash Desk, as they must be presented prior to entrance at the Holly Terminus, where you are checked to ensure you have 'paid your dues'.

Open every Monday and Thursday night, and every 4th Sunday.
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Old 06-16-2004, 09:09 AM   #33
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^

And so in WWE: Theme Park, we have here many attractions.

First, you must visit the Rabid Wolverine. Despite being made ordinary and buried, the Rabid Wolverine is a must-see. Watch it jump off a high place and tumble on the ground.

If you prefer some blood and gore, you can pop into our cinema to watch the Heartbreak movies. Pick from a range from 1990 - 2004. Not for the faint-hearted!

Fancy some popcorn? Visit Rhyno, our friendly popcorn seller!

A ride in the A-train is recommended! But be careful where it goes, things could get hairy fast...

Here at WWE: Theme Park, you can also play at our arcades an exclusive video game only available here, Jericho Adventures! Will you get buried? Or will you get the gold and become the Undisputed winner? Try it out!
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Old 06-16-2004, 10:32 AM   #34
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Also, in the Evolution section, be sure to try out the Evolution Kool Aid. Once you taste it, Evolution will NEVER be able to pass you by.
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Old 06-16-2004, 10:48 AM   #35
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why not try the hurricane ride, there's standing room only in the back
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Old 06-16-2004, 11:09 AM   #36
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Bust your phattest rhymes in the John Cena Freestyle booth.

Try the Randy Orton Heat Machine: If you are a Casual fan it doesn't go anywhere. If you are a member of TPWW, it only goes up. Free mops are provided to Loose Cannon.

Every theme park has a water ride, so be sure to check out the Log Ride of Tears, Water provided by people being forced to watch the WWE Divas try to act.

Don't forget to visit the Land of OVW Graduates, where EVERYTHING is Green.

And no trip to the WWE THEME PARK is complete without a ride on the F-5, that features the scariest loop of all, the Shooting Star Press. Football pads not included.
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Old 06-16-2004, 11:14 AM   #37
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And our biggest draw to date... Up or Down?

This consists of a wrestling match between you and a man with a strange nose. Will you get held down? Or will you Beat the Game and go up?
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Old 06-16-2004, 11:16 AM   #38
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At WWE: The Theme Park, we have many rides and attractions, including:

The McMahon Jobber Express: Work from lowly jobber to bigger jobber, and finally get your ass fired! All in one week!

The Nash-a-Nator: The biggest, slowest roller coaster on the east coast! Be warned: Some may experience sharp pain in their leg. Please seek medical attention IMMEDIATLY if this happens!

Flair Bungie: Get thrown from the top of our extra-large turnbuckel!

Hunter: Play a friendly game of paint ball! The object is to lose to the player designated Triple H!


We also have other attractions like:

Pose for Champion: Pose as the WWE Cruiserweight Champion! All ages allowed, Women get half off!

Pose with Triple H: Pose yourself jobbing to Triple H! Many options avalible.

WWE: The Side Show: Experience everything from the days of the small Max Mini to the fat ass known as The Big Show... This week only: The Human Hairball, A Train!


We also sell EXCLUSIVE merchindice, including:
Official Undertaker Cowboy Hat
Rhyno's Super Glue
A Train Coat
Heavyweight Championship "Stuck on You" Belt, secured with Rhyno's Super Glue, guaranteed NEVER to come off!


We here at WWE: The Theme Park hope for your safty, and thats why, when you ride our rides, we have NO seat belts, no, we use something much safer: Rhyno Industral Strength Super Glue!
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Old 06-16-2004, 11:18 AM   #39
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Thirsty? There are specialised water fountains throughout WWE: Theme Park, consisting of a mini-statue of Triple H looking up with his mouth open! When you press his nose, a stream of water will shoot out of his mouth! Have fun interacting with the Heavenly Hunter H-ountain!
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Old 06-16-2004, 12:37 PM   #40
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Kid: "Mommy mommy! I want to go play in Sean's Fun Cage!!!"
Mother: *sigh* "You're not telling me anything I don't already know..."
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