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#601 |
Takes my pain away
Posts: 2,793
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The wonder of Lita is gone and botched it for sure
All the botches that I want I've found in her As she botches becomes a part I strike to learn The botches return. Every wrestler fails to overcome Lita's botches One more botch turned around and back again. Finding I'm more lost than found when she's botching again When she's not botching I feel it coming down Chorus: Get me what I could never ask for Tell me when Lita will not botch Give me the drug you know I'm after That will let Lita not to botch again!!! [/kane] |
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#602 |
Triple A's a bitch
Posts: 1,039
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Test returns to Raw with a slightly-changed version of Bohemian Rhapsody:
Is this the real life- Is this just fantasy- Caught in a live show- No escape to reality- Open your eyes Look up to the skies and see- A flying lucha, he's gonna land on me- Because I’m easy come, easy go, Beaten high, beaten low, Anyway the job's go, doesn’t really matter to me, Jobbee... McMahon, just jobbed again, Got a leg-dropped on my head, I rolled over, pinned again, McMahon, when will my turn come? But now I’ve gone and got injured again- Hardy ooo, Didn’t mean to make you fly- If I’m not back again this time tomorrow- Get your drugs, from D'Von, as it doesn't really matter- Too late, my time has gone, Get tremors down my spine- Body’s aching all the time, Goodbye everybody - I’ve got to go- Gotta leave Live RAW behind, and face the truth- I SUCK ooo- I don’t want to cry, I sometimes wish I’d never had to job at all- I see a little silhouette of a jobber Strawberry mousse, strawberry mousse, Can you do the pump handle? Scott Steiner fighting, very un-frightening, Stacy Keibler, Stacy Keibler, Stacy Keibler, Stacy Keibler, Stacy Keibler, Let me job. Mister Bischoff has a jobbing put aside for me, for me...... for me....... But I’m just a hoss, and nobody loves me- He’s just a poor hoss from a poor family- Spare him his job to this monstrosity- Hairy come, Hairy go-, will you let me go- A-Train! no-,we will not let you job-let him job- Oh A-Train! we will not let you job-let him job Oh A-Train! we will not let you job-let me job Will not let you job-let me job Will not let you job-let me job No,no,no,no,no,no,no- Mr McMahon, Mr McMahon, mr McMahon let me job- Mister Bischoff has a jobbing put aside for me,for me,for me- So you think you can slam me and spit in my eye- So you think you can choke me and drop from on high- Oh Stacy -show's your ass again, Stacy- Just gotta get down -get me backstage for some beer - Jobbing really matters, Anyone can see, Jobbing really matters-, jobbing really matters to me, Where have all my testicles gone.... |
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#603 |
Posts: 18,357
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Okay, stop it right there. Bluto wins. 10,000 points for him, and 5000 points also to Goldbird and c4g2, who would have won, but c'mon. Bluto did freaking BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY!
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#604 |
Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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Wow. Bluto has written himself a masterpiece.
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#605 |
Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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Scarlett O'Hara: Oh, but Rhett, don't go. Whatever will become of me?
Rhett Butler: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn......Because I'm addicted to drugs and can't get an erection yet am somehow the father of your baby. |
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#606 |
Takes my pain away
Posts: 2,793
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lol i finally get myself some points :P
I will skip this round since I dont know anything about Vince Russo. |
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#607 |
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Vader: Luke, I am NOT your father!
Luke: Then, who is? **Chewbaca walks in** Luke: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! |
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#608 | |
Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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Quote:
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#609 |
Posts: 18,357
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Scarlett O'Hara: "Rhett don't go... whatever will become of me?"
Rhett Butler: "No. Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn... about you..." *KICK* Jim Ross: "Baw gawd stunner on Scarlett! Stunner on Scarlett!!! Damn you sonofabitch Rhett Butler!! Why??? WHYYYY????!!!!" |
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#610 |
FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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*In the middle of the dentist scene from Marathon Man*
RUSSO: Hey, guys. DUSTIN HOFFMAN: *Muffled* What the fuck? RUSSO: I thought I'd just put myself in this scene. Trust me, it'll improve ratings. DUSTIN HOFFMAN: *Muffled* I really don't think-- RUSSO: Trust me, man. I'm single-handedly responsible for the Attitude era, so my presence here will make this movie a classic. ...where's the T&A? |
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#611 |
Posts: 270
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* On The beach of Vietnam after battle in Apocalypse Now *
*Lt. Col. Kilgore crouches down and begins to touch the sand* Kilgore: You smell that? Do you smell that?... Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for twelve hours. When it was all over I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like... victory. Someday this war's gonna end... *Jeff Jarrett sneaks up and hits him with a guitar * Jeff : Heard you wanted to come to TNA, well TNA just came to you *Jeff runs off and everyone is thinking WTF * ![]() In the days of Kings and Queens I was a jester Treat me like a God, oh they treat me like a leper - Atmosphere |
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#612 |
Posts: 14,008
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*Scene opens on a grainy black and white airfield*
Rick: "My letter of transit? I could use a trip. But it doesn't make any difference about our bet. You still owe me ten thousand francs." Louis: "And that ten thousand francs should pay our expenses." Rick: "Our expenses!"" Louis: "Uh huh". Rick: "Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful... ugghhh, ngghh...." Rick collapses to the ground clutching his stomach where he's just been shot. Louis stands over him laughing maniacally. Rick: "Why.... wh... why?" We don't find out as we're out of time (natch), but switch to Casablanca 2... *Louis whips off a mask to reveal Sam* Sam: "It was Blaine, it was me all along!" *Rick, now recovering fine from his life threatening injuries, looks mad.* Sam: "And I shall use these ten thousand francs to get myself... fame? Power? Women? No, a shot at Lou Theszs NWA heavyweight title, and there's nothing you can do about it, AHAHAHAHAHA!" Several naked laides then accompany Sam onto a plane and have sex with him and Sams short, fat, ugly, bearded New Yorker friend that actually stood in the foreground for the entire last scene. |
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#613 |
Posts: 61,531
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*The Sixth Sex* (Sixth Sense parody)
Boy (Talking Hand): I see dead lesbians. Man (In women's clothing): Really? Boy: Yes, somehow one inpregnated my mother, and now I'm here with this ability. Man: You're joking! Boy: No, it haunts me everyday and evernight. Well not everynight, cause...you know. Goodie goodies. |
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#614 |
Triple A's a bitch
Posts: 1,039
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A Few Good Men
Tom Cruise (Kaffee): Colonel, I ask you one last time, is wrestling fake? Jack Nicholson (Col. Jessup): You want answers? Tom Cruise (Kaffee): I think I'm entitled. Jack Nicholson (Col. Jessup): You want answers? Tom Cruise (Kaffee): I want the truth! Jack Nicholson (Col. Jessup): You can't handle the truth! Jack Nicholson (Col. Jessup): Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have more responsibility here than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Ultimo Dragon, and you curse the McMahons. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Sean O'Haire's release, while tragic, probably saved lives. And that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. I know deep down in places you dont talk about at parties, you don't want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent producing wrestling. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very product I provide, then question the manner in which I provide it. I prefer you said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a remote, order a PPV, and stand to post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to! And I had to add in this one......... Titanic Kate Winslet (Rose): I love you Jack. Leonardo DiCaprio (Jack): Don't you do that, don't say your good-byes. Kate Winslet (Rose): I'm so cold. Leonardo DiCaprio (Jack): I don't know about you, but I intend on writing a strongly worded letter to the White Star Line about all of this. You're gonna go on, and make lots of babies, and watch them grow. You're gonna die an old lady, warm in her bed. Not here, not this night. Do you understand me? Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me... it brought me to you. And I'm thankful for that, Rose. I'm thankful. You must do me this honor, Rose. Promise me you'll survive. That you won't give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise. Kate Winslet (Rose): I promise. Leonardo DiCaprio (Jack): Never let go. Kate Winslet (Rose): I'll never let go. I'll never let go, Jack. Leonardo DiCaprio (Jack): And if Smackdown ever gets any better, tape it for me. Kate Winslet (Rose): It'll never happen, Jack. Leonardo DiCaprio (Jack): Damn you WWE! *drowns* |
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#615 |
jWo 4 Lyfe!
Posts: 3,268
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Leonardo: Thats it right there, step up
Kate: Jack your crazy Leonardo: OK Gimmee your hands, open them up right here. Kate: Like this? Leonardo: There thats it Rose now open your eyes. Kate: OMG Jack I'm flying. (Jack pushes Rose over the top rung of boat deck to win the Admiral Rumble 2004.) King: WOOO JR He did it Jack did it. And He'll now go on to Deckscrubbermania XXI to face the Captain of the ship. JR: OMG in all my years in this business I've never seen a shooting star press quite like that, of all the low down dirty tricks................. Last edited by SirRoundSound; 06-23-2004 at 11:16 AM. |
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#616 |
jWo 4 Lyfe!
Posts: 3,268
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ARGGGGGGGGGH BLUTO YOU BASTARD I WAS DOING TITANIC, DONT TYPE SO FAST
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#617 | |
Triple A's a bitch
Posts: 1,039
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Quote:
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#618 |
Posts: 18,357
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1000 points to Ferocious!
![]() WWE Superhero Ideas (Besides The Hurricane) |
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#619 |
Posts: 18,357
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(do heroes... after this one, I'm going to give a chance for supervillains)
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#620 |
FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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KID #1: Earth!
KID #2: Wind! KID #3: Water! KID #4: Fire! KID #5: Heart! VOICE: When your powers combine, I am-- KIDS: Triple H?!? We wanted Captain Planet! HHH: No, you didn't. I'm the greatest superhero there is. KID #3: No, you're not. You're lazy, and your mic skills have become subpar. KID #2: And you have an ugly face. VOICE: BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Ric Flair comes in and kills the kids. HHH: Jesus, Naitch, why'd you do that? FLAIR: He said "face!" |
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#621 |
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Narrator: Wrestler/manager by night, superhero to wrestling by day. Protecting buissness lingo from outsiders, it's... WRESTLING LINGO MAN!
Kid1: You know, I hate Chris Jericho as a heel, he's so... **Gets shot in the head with lasers** Kid2: AHHH! RUN! HOLY SHIT IT'S WRESTLING LINGO MA... **Gets shot in the head with lasers** WLM: That's Mr. WLM to you! Vince: My hero! **Bats eyelashes** Narrator: Yes, Wrestling Lingo Man. Never again will someone outside of the buissness use words like heel, face, pop, job... **We hear a laser shooting** WLM: That includes you, too... WOOOOO! I, I mean, YESSS! (Under his breath) That was close... |
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#622 |
jWo 4 Lyfe!
Posts: 3,268
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Awesome Man:
If I could see a superhero, I would see Awesome Man. He'd fly around the world fighting crime according to his Awesome Plan. And if he saw criminals trying to lie, hurting other people and making them cry. He'd haul them off to jail in his Awesome Van, For he would be Awesome Man. Immigration Dude: If I could see a superhero I'd see Immigration Dude. He'd send all the foreigners back to their homes for eating up all of our food. Taking our welfare and best jobs to boot, like landscaping, dishwashing, picking our fruit. He'd pass a load of laws to get rid of their brood, for he'd be immigration dude. |
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#623 | |
Posts: 270
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Quote:
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#624 |
jWo 4 Lyfe!
Posts: 3,268
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Justice Guy, I also left out Drug Free Boy
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#625 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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*bump*
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#626 |
Posts: 61,531
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*Game Man*
A man with the ability to create invisible barriers, ceilings and crucifixes. He also has amazing pursuasion powers. It is believed he also has a heightened sense of smell. |
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#627 |
Guest
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5 Star Match Man: After being bitten by a radioactive rabid Wolverine, Chris Benoit gained the completely unrelated ability to pull 5 star matches out of even the most worthless of opponents. Now he uses his powers to singlehandedly save wrestling from its ultimate destruction. Watch in AMAZEMENT as Benoit vs Hulk Hogan, Chris Benoit vs The Goon and Chris Benoit vs Mae Young's hand-baby are all selected as match of the year candidates.
However, his one crippling weakness is the the man known as the "living airtime blackhole", none other than the diabolical Glass Ceiling Panel Installer Man. GCPIM: Greetings-uh, 5 Star Man-uh. 5 Star Man: Cut the crap, ceiling boy! Prepare to have the best match of your life... and you WILL sell for me. GCPIM: Oh no-uh! ![]() *5 Star Match Man pulls the most beautiful 25 minutes of wrestling ever out of Tripl- er, Glass Ceiling Panel Installer Man. ![]() *Just when it seems that our hero's victory is assured, GCPIM ascends above the glass ceiling he installed earlier and cuts the longest, most verbally masturbatory promo in history and puts 5 Star Man into a deep sleep* *GCPIM quickly and quietly scoops up our hero and takes him above (yes, above) the ceiling and then delivers the pedigr- er... Double Underhook Glass Drop DDT ![]() All seems lost. Will our hero survive? Will he be able to kick out of that devastating finisher? Will his title reign be given air time? Find out tomorrow: Same Crippler Time, Same Crippler Channel. *end credits music plays* |
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#628 |
Posts: 61,531
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If Funky Fly does not win, I will be seriously upset.
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#629 | |
Has an evil monkey...
Posts: 7,299
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#630 |
Posts: 18,357
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Aw shit, 1000000000000000000000000000 points to Funky Fly! loopy gets 1000 for second place.
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#631 | |
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#632 |
Posts: 61,531
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Dammit, Game Man could have been a supervillian. Alright I'll try one.
*McMahonman* The arc rival of almost every hero in the WWE universe. McMahonman has unlimited wealth and can put up a fight of his own. He has two offspring with a mere human. They are Stephanie McMahon-Banshee and Insane McMahon. McMahonman was origianlly the rival of The Texas Rattlesnake, but moved on to a more universal scale, and then used his unlimited wealth to purchase several companies. McMahonman uses big bodyguards, and uses his hosses to prevent any technical marvels gaining recognition for his broadcasts. His power strut lets him walk faster than the normal man. |
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#633 |
Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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Triple H. 'Nuff Said.
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#634 |
FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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Two wrestlers are working a match in the ring. One hits an amazing shooting star press, but there's no reaction.
WORKER #1: What's going on? The crowd should be jumping! WORKER #2: This can only be the work of... Begin opening montage. ANNOUNCER: The Heat Vacuum! Theme music kicks in. ANNOUNCER: By day, Sean Waltman is a mild-mannered scrawny little loser who used to date that big chick from Playboy. But, by night he becomes... Echo-y voice The Heat Vacuum! Vacuum-Pac does a run-in on the workers' match. ANNOUNCER: Able to silence an entire audience with a single appearance! Vacuum-Pac fights Chris Jericho. ANNOUNCER: Able to draw a lackluster match from even the top talents! Vacuum-Pac flexes in the mirror. ANNOUNCER: More pitiful than a Jeff Hardy fan! Vacuum-Pac stands triumphant in the midst of a sleeping arena. ANNOUNCER: He's...the Heat Vacuum! |
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#635 |
Guest
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*opening credits music plays*
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#636 |
One Man Horror Show
Posts: 1,046
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Nunzio: "Rey, step here a second."
Rey: "Hey, what's going on, my friend?" Nunzio: "Shhh! I have it on good authority that there's a supervillain loose in the arena." Rey: "A what? You mean John Cena?" Nunzio: "No, dumbass! I said 'superVILLAIN', not 'superVANILLA'. Anyway, the creature is not even human. It latches onto anyone... women, old men... and after it sucks to heat out of them and susbesequently emits a 'credibility destruction' aura that affects all cruiserweights, it grows bored, and its host disappears forever. It's known as the Alien Symbiote." Rey: "WHAT? This ... this symbiote... what does it look like?" Nunzio: "It disguises itself as the cruiserweight belt. We have to act quickly before it's too late for Chavo Sr.!" Rey: "But ... but I just won the belt from him last Smackd---... AGHHHHH! AGGHHHH!!!! NOOO!!!!!!!" Nunzio: "Rey! What's happened to you? Rey... OH MY GOD!!! GET AWAY!!!!!! GET AWAY!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" |
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#637 |
Triple A's a bitch
Posts: 1,039
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*bumpage*
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#638 |
Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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Citizens of the world, cower in fear! For in the darkest shadows of the world, lies an evil mind so hideous, that he can bend the very fabric of reality and common logic! It's......
SWERVO THE HORRIBLE Swervo: Mr. President, I hope you have sent the ransom money to stop me from detonating this nuclear bomb, because......SWERVE! otherwise I'm going to force sex on your mother! Ah-hahahahahahaha! President: This is insane! Get the Justice League, NOW! **Justice League flies to Swervo's lair** Superman: It's time to pay for what you've done, Swervo....SWERVE! my lost twin brother!!! Swervo: Well, we'll just have to see about that, won't we? Batman: You heard the man, now it's time to pay the price....SWERVE! **Batman brutally attacks Robin** Robin: What the hell are you doing?! SWERVE! Batman: You slept with my sister, you son of a bitch! Robin: That's impossible! Because.....I'M GAY! ..... ....wait, that doesn't get a SWERVE ? Wonder Woman: No, we all pretty much already knew that. Aquaman: Yeah, you dirty fag, go listen to show tunes or some other queer shit like that. Black Vulcan: Can it, Aquaman. Over-compensating isn't going to help. The Wonder Twins: Wait, who the hell are you?! Superman: Swervo, you devious trickster! I'm going to give you the beating of your life!....SWERVE!.....as soon as I kick my addiction to diet pills! *** Will our heroes survive this horrible ordeal? What about the bomb that Swervo is threatening the President with? Join us next time, when SWERVE! we find out that Wonder Woman is pregnant.....with Swervo's baby!!!! |
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#639 |
Posts: 18,357
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LMAO! Nowhere Man just stole the show. We're going to have to wait for a replacement.
*replacement comes* Okay, that was easy. After giving 10,000 points to N.M., the next scene is... Things a wrestler might whisper into the ear of a romantic date. |
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#640 |
Posts: 61,531
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Stone Cold Steve Austin: I wouldn't let me get this close.
The Hurricane: Stand back there's a hurricane coming through. JBL: Hail Hitler. Jim Ross: BAHGAWDBBQSAUCE! (in a quite voice) Jerry Lawler: Puppies! Mick Foley: *Starts chewing on ear* Triple H: So Steff, how about that title? |
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