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Old 07-13-2004, 02:37 AM   #721
Loose Cannon
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I think you're right. It doesn't look right. I just wanted to try it out anyway.
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Old 07-13-2004, 02:40 AM   #722
Savio
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Paul 1 - Corky 0
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Old 07-13-2004, 03:23 AM   #723
Transplant
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**shows the ocean**

**Titanic comes on scene, bumping up 100 metres above the sea, repeatedly**

"Orale Holmes, theres an Iceberg, barto."
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Old 07-13-2004, 03:50 AM   #724
Shaggy
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JR: BAH GAWD ICE BERG ICE BERG

The King: For the love of god do you have to say everything the same way.
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Old 07-13-2004, 03:54 AM   #725
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Favre4Ever is pretty cool (5,000+)Favre4Ever is pretty cool (5,000+)Favre4Ever is pretty cool (5,000+)Favre4Ever is pretty cool (5,000+)
I can just see Lita lying there nude while Kane paints a perverted, perverted picture of her.
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Old 07-13-2004, 07:08 AM   #726
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Vince *pointing* Stop the iceberg from coming into out way!!! We are going through!!!

Goldberg: Wuh, duh? Buh Buh!!!

*Spears the iceberg*

Fade out
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Old 07-13-2004, 09:49 AM   #727
PorkSoda
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PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
All the WWE superstars are standing around, when suddenly...the boat crashes into an iceberg...and it rocks the whole boat and it rings the church bells making a "DING DING DING". The wrestlers, thinking a match has started, start to fight....Royal Rumble rules!

Triple H throws Billy Gunn over the top to the water.
Batista gets clotheslined by Edge to the outside
Big Show chokeslams Billy Gunn and the floor collapses as they fall threw.
And so on....
*THE BOAT TIPS SIDEWAYS*
Everyone falls off....except Eddie Guerrero..he climbs to the top...AND FROGSPLASHES INTO THE WATER, landing on Flair.
RVD 5 Stars onto Flair
And so on....
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Old 07-13-2004, 12:24 PM   #728
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Vince: "OMG! There's an iceberg! Straight ahead! Someone do something about it!!!"
Hunter: "I've got it!"
*stands at the bow of the ship and takes the collision head on, disintegrating iceberg*
*no-sells iceberg hit*
Vince: "You've saved the ship! You deserve another ten-year push!"
Hunter; "Egg...cellent!"
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Old 07-13-2004, 04:34 PM   #729
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HHH: We're going down! We're going down!
VINCE: What, did we hit an iceberg?

HHH exchanges a knowing glance with Stephanie.

HHH: Uh, yeah...

Crunch.

VINCE: Quick! Get rid of the ballast! Everyone who isn't necessary, get them overboard!

A succession of tiny "plops" can be heard.

MICHAEL HAYES: All the cruiserweights are gone, Vince!
SHANE: Pops, two of 'em took the WWE Tag Team Titles with 'em!
VINCE: Nonsense! The frogs have the belts!
SHANE: No, Pops, the other tag belts! Kidman and London?
VINCE: You're talking crazy talk, Shane.
COLE: Mr. McMahon, we're still sinking!
VINCE: Okay, I didn't want to have to do this, but it's time to start weeding out the utterly unnecessary guys.

Off-camera we hear

SOMEONE: No! You can't do this! I paid my duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuues!

Splash

VINCE: Poor Bob. Are we still sinking?

ENORMOUS splash

VINCE: What was that?
JR: That was the rest of the SmackDown roster.
VINCE: Ahh, good. Wait...isn't JBL on SmackDown?
JR: ...yeah.
VINCE: Dammit, get a lifeboat! He's such a great heel!
VOICE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

An enraged Ric Flair runs into the cabin and slits everyone's throats with a knife-edge, then throws them all overboard.

HHH: Jesus, Ric!
RIC: He said "heel!"
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Old 07-13-2004, 05:36 PM   #730
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ROFLMAO!!! Classic!
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Old 07-13-2004, 06:34 PM   #731
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Chris Jericho in Benoit's arms: I'm King of the World!

Benoit German suplexes Jericho.

Rico is painting Haas naked, the WWE crew see the Glass Ceiling approaching. Vince McMahon quickly recalls everyone talented below the ship as he gets Triple H to recite his marriage vows to Stephanie, creating a temporary portal to Hell to open, granting Triple H the powers to pass the Titanic through. Everyone happy due to Hunter saving them, runs out to greet the newly crowned "Ultimate Wrestling Champion" by Vince McMahon, disobeying Hurricane's advise and not stayng in the back while the hurricane's coming through, with him and Rosey. Unforunately after the hurricane, Rosey, Rikishi, Hurricane and Mark Henry are the only gys left. Now the ship is banged up it cannot support the weight of the guys, so it sinks to join the forever sunken careers of Eddie Guerrero, Chris Bneoit, Kane, Matt Hardy, Ultimo Dragon, Paul London & Billy Kidman amongst others.
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Old 07-13-2004, 08:21 PM   #732
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ONE. SCENE. AT. A. TIME.
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Old 07-13-2004, 10:25 PM   #733
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Kane is sat in a lifeboat, he tooks at the sinking ship and mutters to himself "that reminds me of my last push"
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Old 07-13-2004, 10:34 PM   #734
FourFifty
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FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
*the setting is Triple H, Lita, and Allan Ways, clinging to a piece of drift wood for dear life in the icy ocean*
Allan: C-c-c-c-cold.... so, v-v-v-v-v-v-very c-c-c-c-c-c-c-cold....
Lita: Trips, you must be superhuman... I'm sweatting like a goat, and you're just there!
Triple H: I'm not going to see to the ocean. I'm too good to sell to this!
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Old 07-14-2004, 02:39 PM   #735
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Captain Vincent McSmith: Hmmm, I want to take a course, filled with attitude (Takes a marker, scribbles a zig-zag path over the suggested course. 2nd mate Heyman walks in)

Heyman: Cap'n. That path is littered with ice and falling ratings.

McSmith: DAMMIT PAUL, When I want a goddamn course change, I'll get a goddamn course change! What do you think, 1st mate hunter? (Paul rolls eyes)

Hunter: Good idea, Vince-uh! Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go deflower your daughter-uh!

MsSmith: 3rd mate Russo?

Russo: Yes.

(Cabin boy Shane walks in.)

Shane: Pops, Lita botched standing on the rail, and she took Kane and Matt with her.

McSmith: Hmmm, maybe we can make an angle about this. Anyways, tell Holly and Gunn full speed ahead. Fill the engines with more cruiserweights.

Hunter: Aye-Eye Pops.

(Ship has sped up and are approaching the iceberg.)

Lookout JBL: Sir, some fat internet geek I picked on at high school, aka an iceberg is approaching.

McSmith: Perfect. (over intercom.) Russo, your idea was great. Shane, you know what to do.

(Shane runs off the deck and elbows the iceberg. He gets smeared across the hull. Ice hits Holly, Gunn and JBL.)

McSmith: Well, at least I made a buck off it.
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Old 07-15-2004, 04:59 PM   #736
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1000 mega points to loopydate!


If WWE wrestlers were comedians/insult comics.
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Old 07-15-2004, 05:42 PM   #737
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Triple H: And what's the deal with Airline food?
**Cricket chirps**
Triple H: I SAID, AND WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH AIRLINE FOOD-UHHH!?
**Tumble Weed**
Triple H: Fuck this... **Walks backstage**
Triple H: Vince, they didnt laugh...
Vince: Well, I'll be sure to hold down that audience from now on...
Jericho (In audience): Damn, that wasnt funny at all...
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Old 07-15-2004, 06:43 PM   #738
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Old 07-15-2004, 06:51 PM   #739
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Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Jericho: So I said to Hunter, "take my push...please!"
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Old 07-15-2004, 07:55 PM   #740
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"So, I said to him: 'I just talked to the captain. Said there's a weight limit. You're just too fat to fly.'"

*Boistrous laughter, followed by a Mark Henry eating spree*
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Old 07-16-2004, 12:08 PM   #741
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ROFLMAO!!! That never gets old.
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Old 07-16-2004, 01:30 PM   #742
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FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Lita, the amazing prop comic!

*Lita pulls out a coconut*
Lita: You know what these things are good for... Catching Rabbits!
Fan: Shouldn't that be a carrot?
Lita: When you host your own hunting show, then you could tell me what to do!
Fan: But you should be doing stand up!
Lita: Really? Should I?
Fan: ?
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Old 07-16-2004, 06:07 PM   #743
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Sorry but I had to rip this one.

Shawn Stasiak walks onto the stage, decked out in a jester's costume, and holds up a cue card.

Stasiak: " Thank you, thank you. And what's the deal with New England anyways? It's over two hundred years old!!!! Last time I checked, thats not that new."
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Old 07-16-2004, 06:13 PM   #744
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The Reading Festival Comedy Stage
Triple H
Some other people who aren't important
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Old 07-16-2004, 06:18 PM   #745
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Random Cruiserweight: So I woke up that morning, prepared to ask Mr. McMahon for a push, and..........

Crowd:
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Old 07-20-2004, 06:28 PM   #746
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*Not a scene*

LIVE! Someone bring me the paddles! I won't let you die! Hold on, Wrestling Scenes From A Hat!

Bzzzt! Beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeep...

NO! LIVE, DAMN YOU! LIIIIIIIIIVE!

Bzzzt! Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
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Old 07-20-2004, 06:29 PM   #747
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Bad excuses to make for being late to a show.
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Old 07-20-2004, 06:32 PM   #748
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Triple H: I was, uh... Here all along
Vince: Oh, okay, as long as you werent off doing something stupid like playing with Pretty Ponies...
Triple H: Ye...
Randy (Out of nowhere): FOR THE LAST TIME, IT WAS ONLY ONE TIME!
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Old 07-20-2004, 06:42 PM   #749
loopydate
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LITA: (out of breath) Sorry I'm late, Vince.
VINCE: What the hell took you so long?
LITA: I tried to get out of my hotel room this morning, and I pushed and I pushed and I pushed, but that door just wouldn't open!
VINCE: Let me guess. You finally got it open when it swung back and hit you in the face?
LITA: How'd you know?
VINCE: (under his breath) Stupid whore...
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Old 07-20-2004, 06:52 PM   #750
Xero
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(Benoit walks in 20 minuites into Raw)
Vince: Where the fuck have you been!?
Benoit (Out of breath): Triple H fucking kidnapped me and threw me in a closet... I finally got out when the Maid heard me knocking on the door...
Vince: Oh sure, blame Hunter... That's it Benoit, you're dropping the title TONIGHT to Hunter in a Submission match, then YOUR FIRED! NO ONE lies to Vincent Kennedy McMahon!
Benoit: But but...
Vince: GET OUT OF MY FACE!

(10 minuites after they get backstage after the show)
Vince: NOW GET OUTA HERE!
Benoit: God damn it...
Hunter (As Benoit walks by): Got ya.....
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Old 07-20-2004, 06:59 PM   #751
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Mark Henry: Sorry I'm late Vince, I had to drive because Flair told me the airline said I was too heavy to go on the plaine.

Vince: Huh? Thats stupid.

Flair: HAHAHAHAHA! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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Old 07-20-2004, 08:23 PM   #752
PorkSoda
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PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
Triple H: Sorry I'm late Vince, I was stuck in the land of Oz, I took down all of the little munchkins and punched a whole through the tin mans armor into his face, then I realized I needed a ride, so I gave Batman a Pedigree, stole his Bat Mobile, and just when I was a mile away from the arena, it ran out of gas. So I took a sledgehammer, beat the mobile to death, and found a motercycle guarded by seven little dwarfs and Snow White. So I held down all the little dwarfs, shoved Snow White down and finally rode on her Harley here. It will never happen again. So who else can I bury tonight - I mean what do you have in mind for tonight?
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Old 07-20-2004, 09:04 PM   #753
Xero
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LMAO!
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Old 07-21-2004, 01:56 PM   #754
Vastardikai
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Y2J: Sorry I'm Late, Mr. McMahon. I got caught in rush hour.

Vince: So was I, your point?

Y2J: I had to job to EVERYONE in the cars in front of me.

Vince: In that case, you can keep your job. But, as punishment, you have to lose a Triple Threat match between a fried shrimp and a bologna Sandwich. And you're the one taking the fall.
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Old 07-21-2004, 02:26 PM   #755
Xero
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Vince: Where have you been!?

Dinsmore: I was studying retard movies like "There's something about Mary", why?

Vince: Oh, carry on...
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Old 07-21-2004, 04:42 PM   #756
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ROFL! These are awesome guys!
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Old 07-21-2004, 06:39 PM   #757
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Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Vince: Randy, the show's starting in ten minutes! Where the hell were you?!

Orton: Sorry, boss. I had to renew my pact with Satan to make fanboys love me, and I got a little carried away during the blood-letting.

Vince: But Randy, I don't see any cut marks on you. Where'd you get the blood?

Orton: I got it from Jericho. All of his screaming from the rusty knife made my head hurt.

Vince: Well, doesn't that just take the cake?! We can't afford to have that reckless Jericho injuring one of my most promising stars' eardrums! Tell him he's fired!
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Old 07-21-2004, 06:45 PM   #758
Xero
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Vince: Where have you been Jim!? It's 5 minuites to Raw!

JR: BAHGAWDSONOFABITCHBAHGAWD!

Vince: Uh, what?

JR: BAHGAWDSTUNNERBBQSAUSEBBQBBQBBQBAHGAWD!

Vince: Uh, translator please?

(King comes over)

JR: BAHGAWDSONOFABITCHBABABAHGAWD!

King: Uh huh... He says he dripped BBQ sause on his pants and... What?

JR: BBQSAUSEBAHGAWDBAHGAWDAUSTINAUSTINAUSTIN!

King: Oh, and he was talking to Steve on his cell phone and....

JR: BAHGAWDSTUNNERBAHGAWDBAH....

(JR explodes and King and Vince walk away slowly)
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Old 07-21-2004, 10:33 PM   #759
FourFifty
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FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
All of these will be hard to top... Now I know the rules say only one post per message, but I'm sorry, I had to break the rules with this one.

Vince: Damn it, Show, why the hell are you late?
Show: Well, the sign said all you can eat...

Vince: Mr. Gowen! You're 45 minutes late! Your match was the first one on the card, so we had to fill the space with another HHH promo! Where the hell were you?
Zach: Well when you give me a bike as transportation and I only have one leg...

*RVD comes in, eyes bloodshot, glazed, and he seems a little to easy going for a sober man. He enters Eric's office*
RVD: Hey Eric, I'm sorry I'm late to raw... 4:20 came around I had somethin' to do....
Coach: Uhhh, Rob... That's the picture of Eric... He's in the ring cutting a promo.
RVD: Well that leaves me with one question, dude... Where's the cream filling?
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Old 07-22-2004, 05:03 PM   #760
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RVD turns up at the arena.
Vince McMahon walks towards him looking pissed off.

Vince: Where the hell have you been Rob?
(Rob takes a big deep draw of his joint)
RVD: What are you guys doing here?
Vince: You smoking weed again?
RVD: This isn't a comic book convention.
Vince: Are you even listening to me?
RVD: What day is this?
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