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Old 12-31-2012, 12:28 PM   #41
Krimzon7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nowhere Man View Post
Okay, after some thinking, I've come up with a different answer for which superhero I'd want to sidekick for:

Wonder Woman.

Okay, hear me out.

Yeah, Superman's great for being a moral compass and showing you the finer points of being a genuine hero, but he's hardly the most skilled fighter-- he just throws big ugly haymakers and hopes his super-strength is enough to get the job done. Plus, he's not much for strategy, so unless I'm also a Kryptonian or something similar, training with him wouldn't do much good.

And yeah, Batman's the ultimate badass and he's also known for training lots of sidekicks, but he's also known for being a paranoid abusive psychopath who's infamous for treating his apprentices like shit and generally being a genuinely awful human being. Plus, the opening pitch for this thread said I'd have superpowers, and Batman's always come off as irrationally prejudiced against metahumans.

But Wonder Woman? Wondy is hands-down one of the most absolutely badass fighters in the entire DC Universe. She's taken down entire armies by herself, she's picked fistfights with literal gods and won-- and yes, she's even straight-up kicked Batman's ass. And only a portion of that badassery comes from her superpowers; she's got a lifetime of training from the greatest warrior society on the planet. She's steeped not just in mythical martial arts that compliment having superpowers, but also in large-scale tactics and strategy. When Supergirl first came to Earth (pre-reboot) and everyone realized she was going to have to learn how to fight, they didn't let Superman or Batman or anyone else train her; they sent her to Diana, and by the end of her training, she was able to hang in a battle with Darkseid (particularly in the animated movie). If there's anyone who can get the absolute best out of someone's abilities in a short amount of time, it's Wonder Woman.

The fact that I'd probably get a couple of handy magical weapons out of the deal, not to mention the fact that said training would happen on a gorgeous tropical island populated by the hottest women on Earth, certainly doesn't hurt.
The one caveat to this whole story: Your training would probably start with your castration.
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Old 12-31-2012, 12:38 PM   #42
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The last 2 posts pretty much summarized what I was going to say- Wonder Woman is a HORRIBLE choice.
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Old 12-31-2012, 11:39 PM   #43
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Well, the "Amazons don't train guys" thing is a rather embarrassing oversight on my part, not to mention a painfully obvious one.

But I'm going to stick with it. Mostly because I feel like being stubborn, but also because the possible shenanigans involved in making that happen are too entertaining to pass up.

I mean, the ridiculous lengths you'd have to go to just to get your foot in the door have the potential to be comedy gold. Sure, there might be some kind of cross-dressing involved, or convincing one of the more magic- or cosmic- based folks to give you a magical disguise, not to mention figure out a way to get around the whole Truth Lasso thing, but at least it would make for a funny story.

And then once you're on the island, there's no shortage of potential for wacky and/or sexy hijinks. And hey, part of being a superhero is concealing a secret identity; how good could you get at that if you're able to spend all that time concealing the fact that you're a dude? You're still learning how to be a kickass warrior and crime-fighter and stuff, but now it's also got kind of a raunchy-1980s-comedy thing going on with it too.

Sure, you'd probably meet a very unpleasant fate if you got caught, but if you pulled it off, maybe you could even impress the Amazons enough to get them to re-think their whole "No Boys Allowed" thing. Like Mulan, only in reverse.

Plus, Wondy herself isn't nearly as anti-male as the rest of her folks, so even if you did get caught, the worst she'd probably do is throw you off the island.

Is it unnecessary and ridiculous and bordering a bit too much on gender-bending? Yeah, probably. But at least it's entertaining.
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Old 12-31-2012, 11:45 PM   #44
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Think I'd happily sit out of it and not do a thing. Live a nice average life away from all that shit.
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Old 12-31-2012, 11:47 PM   #45
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Zatanna could help you with the gender swap thing.
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Old 01-01-2013, 05:59 PM   #46
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Nightwing.
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Old 01-01-2013, 09:16 PM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slik View Post
Nightwing.
Sidekick of a former sidekick. Interesting.
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Old 01-04-2013, 03:52 PM   #48
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Not really.
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