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#1 |
Posts: 61,520
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The WWE needs to put its commentators on a moral scale. Kind of like political leanings. You have your far left-wing, but you also have your Democrats that lean a little more towards the right. There are extremely conservative Republicans, but you also have your left-leaning more tolerable ones (sorry).
Commentary should be the same. Jim Ross should be as face as a commentator can get. To the point where he is so nice, he is even good to the heels, and admits their strength. Joey Styles seems like a far face character, in my opinion, too. More analytical and less emotional than JR, though. Michael Cole and Todd Grisham are your smarmy, arrogant play-by-play guys. Cole does not play the good guy sympathizer well. His bias is too strong, and it's awkward. He should be more of a little shit who kisses his boss' ass. He should stop acting like he's marking out as much as he does, and take a more calm, journalistic approach to his commentary. He can talk about The Undertaker's success at WrestleMania in journalistic awe, and statistically quote Batista as one of the greatest World Heavyweight Champions of all-time. Todd Grisham is a little shit, and is actually entertaining while he's doing it. Grish is actually a funny guy, and would be great as a heel colour commentator, who just sits on the commentary team because he's hosted Soccer broadcasts before. Grish as the arrogant golden child commentator would be pretty fucking good, in my opinion. Josh Mathews should be the work horse of the team, with Grisham making things easier with his humor. Lawler should be an asshole, Tazz should be more based on how good someone is in the ring than their storyline positioning, and Jonathan Coachman should not get along with Cole, and talk about how he's a better play-by-play guy than Cole, and he never even calls a move. Of course, Coach should also go back to being an on-screen character, and Bill DeMott should be rehired for commentary. |
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#2 |
Total Non-Stop Apologist
Posts: 4,430
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"As God as my wintness he has been broken in half." -Jim Ross (after Mankind was thrown off the cage)
"Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes" -Bobby Heenan (after Ric Flair won the Royal Rumble) |
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#3 |
Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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Jimmy Bower: falls count anywhere in the building. You can pin your opponent on any flat surface.
CM Punk: So that means these guys can pin each other on the chest of Allison Danger? |
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#4 |
Posts: 61,520
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CM Punk is a deceptively funny man. With the SmackDown!/ECW talent exchange in place, Punk should take over from Jonathan Coachman as colour commentator, except for when he needs to wrestle.
He should also scout matches more often, and even take nights off to do commentary for the evening on ECW. Fuck, let the man do Heat when Josh Mathews is busy doing whatever it is he does for the company when they don't use him. |
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#5 |
Posts: 61,520
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Paul Heyman pretty much made Rhyno in the WWE with his commentary. "GORE! GORE! GORE!"
Fuck, Rhyno was great in 2001. |
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#6 |
Killed fitty men!
Posts: 987
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#7 |
Skibbidy Lock Jaw
Posts: 88,619
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Yeah, I loved Heyman's "GORE! GORE! GORE!"
Now you have Don West doing it. "He just hit him with the Gore, Gore, GOOORE!" Terrible. And Rhino signing off his promos with it is terrible too. |
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#8 |
Posts: 58,598
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Wrestlemania 21
Lawyler: no fight it michaels, don't listen to these fans. |
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#9 |
Last of a Dying Forum
Posts: 16,215
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2002 Royal Rumble. Austin cleans out the ring, timer is counting down, Austin is smiling in the ring - Triple H's music hits.
JR: "Oh. My. God..." |
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#10 |
Posts: 22,695
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JR: GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! IT KILLED HIM! AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, HE IS BROKEN IN HALF!
King: Oh god dont throw him off the other side and...OHHHHH! Thats it, he's dead JR: GOOD GOD, GOOD GOD! WILL SOMEBODY STOP THE DAMN MATCH....ENOUGH'S ENOUGH! |
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#11 |
That's Not My Name
Posts: 9,086
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Heenan (When Piper came to Flair's rescue): Thank you, Piper! It's a kilt! I never thought I'd hear myself say this! It's not a skirt, it's a kilt.
Moments later when Piper turns on Flair Heenan: You no-good low-life... it's a skirt! |
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#12 |
Taller than Adam Cole
Posts: 10,876
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Heenan: Shawn Micheals is making guacamole out of El Matador!
Monsoon: HE IS NOT! Heenan: Look at his tights, they're green! |
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#13 |
Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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I always enjoyd JR's commentary during the Taker/Flair match at Wrestlemania 18.
JR: Perhaps the most baddest man in the land....Ol Booger Red.... King: Can I ask you, what the hell is a Booger Red? JR: I'll tell you tommorow. |
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#14 |
Da Gif/Pic Pimp
Posts: 13,913
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Talk about Heenan...I remember when he would ALWAYS get on the Hart family...
For Example |
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#15 |
Stickman
Posts: 15,119
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STONE COLD STONE COLD STUNNER STONE COLD STONE COLD STUNNER STONE COLD STONE COLD STUNNER STONE COLD STONE COLD STUNNER STONE COLD STONE COLD STUNNER STONE COLD STONE COLD STUNNER STONE COLD STONE COLD STUNNER STONE COLD STONE COLD STUNNER STONE COLD STONE COLD STUNNER STONE COLD STONE COLD STUNNER STONE COLD STONE COLD STUNNER STONE COLD STONE COLD STUNNER STONE COLD STONE COLD STUNNER STONE COLD STONE COLD STUNNER STONE COLD STONE COLD STUNNER STONE COLD STONE COLD STUNNER STONE COLD STONE COLD STUNNER STONE COLD STONE COLD STUNNER STONE COLD STONE COLD STUNNER STONE COLD STONE COLD STUNNER
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#16 |
VG + Q&A FORUM REPRESENT
Posts: 38,940
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Big fan of Ventura
'I know Hogan and Hogan will stoop to any level if it means Hogan comes out on top' |
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#17 |
VG + Q&A FORUM REPRESENT
Posts: 38,940
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'He'd clothesline Elizabeth if it meant winning.'
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#18 |
VG + Q&A FORUM REPRESENT
Posts: 38,940
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Ventura: 'Now that's illegal! Hogan was eliminated'
Monsoon: 'So what!' Ventura: 'So What? If they'd done that to Hogan, Monsoon, you'd have been totally irate' |
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#19 |
VG + Q&A FORUM REPRESENT
Posts: 38,940
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yeah Rumble 1989 rocked
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#20 |
Paragraphs killed Jesus.
Posts: 203
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It's not really classic, but during the whole "Finger Poke of Doom" and the 45 minute beating the nWo put on Goldberg afterwards, I'll never forget Tony Shiavone saying "What the fuck is going on here?!" That still cracks me up.
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