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Old 07-21-2004, 02:26 PM   #1
Xero
He's Here
 
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Xero makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Xero makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Xero makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Xero makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Xero makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Xero makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Xero makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Xero makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Xero makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Xero makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Xero makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Xero makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Xero makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)
Vince: Where have you been!?

Dinsmore: I was studying retard movies like "There's something about Mary", why?

Vince: Oh, carry on...
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Old 07-21-2004, 04:42 PM   #2
Corkscrewed
 
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ROFL! These are awesome guys!
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Old 07-21-2004, 06:39 PM   #3
Nowhere Man
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Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Vince: Randy, the show's starting in ten minutes! Where the hell were you?!

Orton: Sorry, boss. I had to renew my pact with Satan to make fanboys love me, and I got a little carried away during the blood-letting.

Vince: But Randy, I don't see any cut marks on you. Where'd you get the blood?

Orton: I got it from Jericho. All of his screaming from the rusty knife made my head hurt.

Vince: Well, doesn't that just take the cake?! We can't afford to have that reckless Jericho injuring one of my most promising stars' eardrums! Tell him he's fired!
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Old 07-21-2004, 06:45 PM   #4
Xero
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Vince: Where have you been Jim!? It's 5 minuites to Raw!

JR: BAHGAWDSONOFABITCHBAHGAWD!

Vince: Uh, what?

JR: BAHGAWDSTUNNERBBQSAUSEBBQBBQBBQBAHGAWD!

Vince: Uh, translator please?

(King comes over)

JR: BAHGAWDSONOFABITCHBABABAHGAWD!

King: Uh huh... He says he dripped BBQ sause on his pants and... What?

JR: BBQSAUSEBAHGAWDBAHGAWDAUSTINAUSTINAUSTIN!

King: Oh, and he was talking to Steve on his cell phone and....

JR: BAHGAWDSTUNNERBAHGAWDBAH....

(JR explodes and King and Vince walk away slowly)
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Old 07-21-2004, 10:33 PM   #5
FourFifty
As over as Crystal Pepsi
 
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FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
All of these will be hard to top... Now I know the rules say only one post per message, but I'm sorry, I had to break the rules with this one.

Vince: Damn it, Show, why the hell are you late?
Show: Well, the sign said all you can eat...

Vince: Mr. Gowen! You're 45 minutes late! Your match was the first one on the card, so we had to fill the space with another HHH promo! Where the hell were you?
Zach: Well when you give me a bike as transportation and I only have one leg...

*RVD comes in, eyes bloodshot, glazed, and he seems a little to easy going for a sober man. He enters Eric's office*
RVD: Hey Eric, I'm sorry I'm late to raw... 4:20 came around I had somethin' to do....
Coach: Uhhh, Rob... That's the picture of Eric... He's in the ring cutting a promo.
RVD: Well that leaves me with one question, dude... Where's the cream filling?
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Old 07-22-2004, 06:17 PM   #6
Disturbed316
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Always450
:Vince: Mr. Gowen! You're 45 minutes late! Your match was the first one on the card, so we had to fill the space with another HHH promo! Where the hell were you?
Zach: Well when you give me a bike as transportation and I only have one leg...
ROFL
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Old 07-22-2004, 05:03 PM   #7
big_bluto
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RVD turns up at the arena.
Vince McMahon walks towards him looking pissed off.

Vince: Where the hell have you been Rob?
(Rob takes a big deep draw of his joint)
RVD: What are you guys doing here?
Vince: You smoking weed again?
RVD: This isn't a comic book convention.
Vince: Are you even listening to me?
RVD: What day is this?
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Old 07-22-2004, 05:09 PM   #8
Innovator
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*JBL runs in 5 minutes before Smackdown! starts*

Vince: John where the hell were you!! You are the WWE Champion you need to be here to make an example for the rest of the.....what's that behind your back?

JBL: *hides white hood* uh...nothing Vince...I was just uh...beating up some homos for lunch money...

Brock: HOMOS!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Vince jiggles a set of keys, mesmerizing Lesnar instantly*
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Old 07-22-2004, 07:33 PM   #9
Corkscrewed
 
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Wow, hard to choose a best one. So 1000 points to everyone who reps me!!!


If WWE wrestlers starred in Godzilla movies (the cool Japenese ones).
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Old 07-23-2004, 01:25 AM   #10
Nowhere Man
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Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
**Rodan and King Ghidorah ravage the streets of Tokyo, sending thousands fleeing for their lives**

Badly Dubbed Japanese Man: EEEEEEK!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!

*Chris Benoit flies down from the skies*

Benoit: I knew those two would come back for more. Time to activate Wild Pegasus Power!!!

PEGA-SA-SU!!!!! POWAAAAAA GO!!!!!!

*Benoit transforms into a 300-foot-tall Superhero and joins in the battle*

Tajiri: *sigh* Ahhhh, it's like I never left the place.
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Old 07-22-2004, 07:40 PM   #11
Xero
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Vince: Oh my God... It's Showzilla! And he's EATING the ring! What ever shall I do!? AHHHH!

Showzilla: ARRRGHHHAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! ME HUNGRY!

Tajiri: Don't wolly Vince, I'rr take cale of it!

(Tajiri flies upto the face of Show and sprays green mist in his eyes)

Showzilla: ARRRGGGAHHHHHAAAHHH!

(Showzilla, then world champion, falls to the ground and dies as Triple H comes over and pins him for the title)

Tajiri: Hey! That was my job! YOU BASTALD!
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Old 07-22-2004, 07:43 PM   #12
Jonster
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Hurricane: Stay in the back, there's a Godzilla coming through.

OK, that was rubbish, but I'll try and do a better one later.
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Old 07-22-2004, 08:31 PM   #13
PorkSoda
Diabetes Coming To Getcha
 
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PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
OK...its long, sorry.

TV News: OH MY GOD GODZILLA IS ATTACKING THE CITY! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Godzilla attacks the newsreporter and throws her across New York.

Arnold Shwarzanegger: Dun worry, I'll throw this sh*t downtown! Ill be back!

Arnold goes to attack Godzilla, but Godzllla steps on him. Suddenly, Rocky appears.

Rocky: Yo Adrian...I'M GONNA DO IT!

Rocky attemps to jab the monster and starts making punching movements, but Godzilla picks up Rocky and eats him. Cactus Jack appears on top of the Empire state building, and poses, attempting an elbow drop onto his head but misses and falls into the sewer. Godzilla starts to shake the buildings and tear things apart...when suddenly...GOLDBERG APPEARS! HE RUNS AND SPEARS THE MONSTER IN THE KNEE...BUT BREAKS HIS NECK AND DIES! Suddenly, Hulk Hogan appears. He starts doing the Hogan strut for the whole city, calming everyone down including all the little kids....untill Godzilla steps on him and kills him.

Suddenly....TRIPLE H APPEARS! Godzilla steps on him HHH, but HHH no sells! He just stands up and Godzilla picks up up and throws him down, but HHH gets right back up, and Godzilla picks up him again but HHH hits a low blow. He then gets Godzillas massive headbetween his legs...and drops him for the Pedigree! He covers Godzilla..1.2.3! Triple H goes to the top of the Empire State building and poses for the whole NYC! Everyone boos him untill he accidently leans over the edge and falls over.
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Old 07-22-2004, 10:57 PM   #14
FourFifty
As over as Crystal Pepsi
 
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FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
*The scene opens up with a giant purple dinosaur running through San Francisco, screaming “Hands Down” by Dashboard Confessional in a female voice that can’t sing worth a damn. The dinosaur turns around, and we see the back of Lita’s head, because she forgot to pull up the zipper*

Vince: CUT!!!! Lita, get over here!
Lita: Yes Vince?
Vince: You were supposed to be singing “Way Away” by Yellowcard! Do you have any idea how big of a disappointment that is?
Shane: Well, what about the fact that she was in SanFran, she’s dressed up like Barney the Dinosaur, and she forgot to pull up the zipper?
Vince: Ever since Mr. Nanny, this is great acting for a wrestler.
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Old 07-23-2004, 04:29 PM   #15
Corkscrewed
 
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I dunno why, but the absurdity of that has me
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Old 07-25-2004, 12:17 AM   #16
FourFifty
As over as Crystal Pepsi
 
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FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Bumpity bump bump!
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Old 07-25-2004, 09:17 PM   #17
Favre4Ever
Incoming Text
 
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Favre4Ever is pretty cool (5,000+)Favre4Ever is pretty cool (5,000+)Favre4Ever is pretty cool (5,000+)Favre4Ever is pretty cool (5,000+)
can't top it.
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Old 07-26-2004, 01:46 PM   #18
Corkscrewed
 
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WWE American Idol
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Old 07-26-2004, 01:54 PM   #19
loopydate
FIT Challenge Slag People
 
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(At the audition...)

LITA: Hi, Jeff!
SIMON: I'm Simon.
LITA: Right. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you how perfect I am for "Survivor."
SIMON: "American Idol." Good lord, is there nothing you won't botch? Next!
LITA: But, wait! I can sing, too!
SIMON: This should be painful...
RANDY: Go ahead and sing it, dawg!
LITA: (horribly off-key) And yooooooooo-oooo-oooooo-oooo-ooo will always...love yoo--wait. Um... Lemme start over.
SIMON: Next!
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Old 07-26-2004, 02:05 PM   #20
FourFifty
As over as Crystal Pepsi
 
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FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Quote:
Originally Posted by loopydate
(At the audition...)

LITA: Hi, Jeff!
SIMON: I'm Simon.
LITA: Right. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you how perfect I am for "Survivor."
SIMON: "American Idol." Good lord, is there nothing you won't botch? Next!
LITA: But, wait! I can sing, too!
SIMON: This should be painful...
RANDY: Go ahead and sing it, dawg!
LITA: (horribly off-key) And yooooooooo-oooo-oooooo-oooo-ooo will always...love yoo--wait. Um... Lemme start over.
SIMON: Next!
God Damn It! You beat me to the "Lita Botching It" joke!!!

hell, you did it better than I could
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Old 07-26-2004, 02:22 PM   #21
Nowhere Man
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Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Paula: Welcome to the show, Chris. We're really excited to have you here.

Simon: Wait a minute; says here you're Canadian. You do know that the show is American Idol, right?

Benoit: What are you talking about? I'm from Atlanta now. And to prove it, I'm going to sing a touching ballad close to my down-home-country roots by...Mr.....(pulls out sheet of paper with name on it)....Garth...Brooks...

**song begins, and Chris starts singing**

Simon: Oh, sweet Lord! This is awful!!!

Benoit: Huh? Wait a minute....I'd recognize that voice anywhere! Dark Lord Sy-Mon! I knew you'd be back for more!!!

**Simon mutates into an enormous winged monster**

Benoit: PEGA-SA-SU!!!! POWAAAAAA GO!!!!

*****

Yeah, that blew.
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Old 07-26-2004, 01:56 PM   #22
Corkscrewed
 
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Old 07-26-2004, 01:57 PM   #23
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Triple H: It's all about the Game, and how you play it, it's all about control-

Simon Cowell: That was bloody awful, you are the worst singer in the world...

Triple H: But...I AM THE GAME!

Simon Cowell: And you're that damn awful. Learn how to sing...take Jericho for example

*Jericho walks in*

Jericho:
And Who am I
To kill a stranger
After all that
we've been through
I do and die
To kill a stranger,
After all that
we've been through


Simon: Terrific, you are the real deal...

Triple H: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*Triple H suddenly wakes up*

Vince: Hunter are you ok?

Triple H: Yeah I think so...just to be safe...HEY CHRIS!

*Jericho walks up*

Triple H: What are you doing tonight on the show?

Jericho: Jobbing to Moolah, why?

Triple H: PHEW! it was only a dream...
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Old 07-26-2004, 02:03 PM   #24
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Old 07-26-2004, 05:48 PM   #25
Favre4Ever
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(Writers Note: The (What???)s are the audience screaming it)

**Stone Cold finishes singing "Marguritaville"**

Simon: "Well Steve, I hate to say it, but I just don't think you have what it takes to be the next American Idol."

Austin: "So let me get this straight(WHAT!!)-you don't think Stone Cold Steve Austin has what it takes to be the next American Idol?(WHAT!!)"

Simon: "Well, I-"

Austin: "Your saying i'm done?(WHAT!!!)"

Simon: "I-"

Austin: "Finished?!?(WHAT!!!!)"

Simon: "Thats what-"

Austin: "Done for?(WHAT!!!)"

Simon: "Steve, your-"

Austin: "eh EHHH!!!!(crowd erupts) See Simon, there's nothing one that you or anybody else working on this puny little show can do to stop Stone Cold Steve Austin from being the next American Idol!!!!"

**Stunner to Simon!!!!!! Austin proceeds to drink beers with Paula and douse Simon with them. That random black guy plays dead.**
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Old 07-27-2004, 05:49 PM   #26
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Things that Brock Lesnar might do in a game or with his team now that he's signed with the Vikings.
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Old 07-27-2004, 06:11 PM   #27
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FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
NFL Website Guy: Well, Mr. Lesnar, I need to know your height and weight.
Brock: Why? Are you going to put them down in a book or something.
NFL Webstie Guy: No really. I want to post them on-line for all the NFL Fans to... Please put down that knife...
Brock: Don't you ever say on-line, again!
NFL Website Guy: Okay, it's so we can post them on the internet.
Brock: INTERNET!?!??!?! KILL!!!!!!!
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Old 07-27-2004, 09:02 PM   #28
Innovator
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*Vikings are playing the Eagles*

Madden: McNabb to TO! First DOWN! What a great play, a 25 yard pickup by Terrell Owens!

*McNabb slaps TO's ass*

Brock: HOMOS!
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Old 07-27-2004, 09:12 PM   #29
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Hey, fellas! Need an equipment manager?
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Old 07-28-2004, 12:50 PM   #30
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^ DING DING DING DING!!! We have a weener!!!
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Old 07-28-2004, 12:52 PM   #31
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The Big Bossman: What's He Doing Now?
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Old 07-28-2004, 01:49 PM   #32
loopydate
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fignuts View Post
Loopydate, you are the pinnacle of too-muchery.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azriel
Loopy, where you come up with this stuff? I swear I wish I could suck the funny out of you and use it for my own diabolical purposes
Quote:
Originally Posted by loopydate View Post
*Waves to CANADIAN*

Sadly, the old days are gone, my friend.

*Sews Shaggy's head back on*

This is what we're dealing with now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poit View Post
I feel like I just read a Noid post covered in the semen of dreams.
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Old 07-29-2004, 11:43 PM   #33
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*Sean O’Haire, Kanyon, Tommy Dreamer, Rikishi, The Ultmio Dragon, and Jeff Hardy are sitting at a bar*

Dreamer: Yeah, I was the innovator of violence, and I still have a cult following… Sometimes at night, I can still hear them chant, “E-C-Dub, E-C-Dub!”

Kanyon: You may be the the innovator of violence, but come on, who betta than Kanyon?

Ultmio: More Sake!

Rikishi: More Pretzels!

Jeff Hardy: yeah, I’m the father of Lita’s baby….

Sean: That storyline sucks, and I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know.

Jeff Hardy: We all used to be huge players in the WWE… and dude, look at us now…. We’re pretty much unemployed.

Dreamer: Shut up Mr. TNA!

*The Big Bossman enters*

Bossman: Hey Fellas! What’s up?

All: ……….

Bossman: Did I ever tell ya’ll ‘bout my Kennel from Hell match?

Kanyon: Get Out.

Bossman: Nope, really! I was in a Kennel from Hell match VS Al Snow!

Sean: We know that. He said “get out” as in “Get the hell out of our bar!”

Jeff Hardy: Officer, I swear, it’s oregano in my pocket!

Rikishi: Where the hell are my pretzels?

Bossman: Rikishi! You’re here?!?!?! Do you wanna listen to my stories?

Rikishi: For a bowl of pretzels.
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Old 08-05-2004, 06:08 PM   #34
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Always450 gets 1000 points.

Rejected WWE Contests
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Old 08-05-2004, 08:30 PM   #35
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WWE $100 SmackDown! Jobber Search!

Stips: Only former WWE wrestlers or Curiserweights may apply.

Slogan: Cause jobbers need money too!

Winner gets: $100 spread over a 10 year contract...
Permanent jobbing space for Velocity, Heat, House Shows, and Dark Matches...
Downside guarantee that they will job to Triple H in 2 humiliating matches on RAW...
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Old 08-08-2004, 01:40 PM   #36
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WWE's Crushed Hopes 2004!

That's right! Once again, WWE is giving YOU, the viewers, the chance to vote on who you think should be the top man in the company! The winner gets push straight to the main events, only to be crushed by one of our loyal suck-ups! It's an absolute dream-match for people who hate themselves!

What matches would you like to see? Eddie Guerrero vs Bradshaw? Chris Benoit vs Triple H? Booker T vs The Undertaker? Mick Foley vs Randy Orton? Vote today!!!

(note: Chris Jericho need not apply)
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Old 08-08-2004, 06:58 PM   #37
FourFifty
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Okay, reality TV is where it’s at! It’s where all the ratings go! So, how about this idea! Do mass try outs for a reality TV show where you take every Dick and Jane out there (regardless of how much talent the indys have) to live in a house with a group of people who suck ass for the most part to try to become a WWE SUPERSTAR!!!!

…what’s that…

…they did that?…

Oh…. Crap… Seems like a bad enough idea to be brought up.


You’ve seen The Apprentice with Donald Trump, and you may have well seen The Assistant with Andy Dick… World Wrestling Entertainment and Vincent Kennedy McMahon proudly bring to you….
The Bitch
A group of 12 people will live in Sean O’Haire’s cage for 24 weeks, with one elimination every other week, in a contest to see who can kiss the most ass, who can brew the best cup of coffee, who can do a great bobble head impersonation while being a mindless “Yes man,” and overall who can reassure Vince that he’s not totally fucking up the booking.
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Old 08-09-2004, 01:06 AM   #38
Transplant
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Vince: Right, we've gotta think of a new contest since the Who Wants To Be My Bitch? contests fell through. Coach, how much money do we have for our next contest?

Coach: Uh, we have none. With the current ratings drop, we've only had enough money to pay the guys, hire venues, and feed Triple H's pet dog.

Vince: C'mon guys, we're gonna have to scrap something together. Everyone empty out your pocekts. Whats everyone got on them?

Hogan: 2 quaters

Honky Tonk: 3 Quarters

Coach: a quarter, a yo-yo, and an autographed Hogan Shirt

Vince: Well, we wont make any money out of the Hogan shirt. Hmmm. Hows our supply of WWE contracts?

Linda: Since firing Test, we're pretty good.

Vince: Right. Well we have $1.50, a yoyo and a hogan shirt.

Coach: Had

Vince: What?

Coach: Had a Hogan Shirt. I just sold it on ebay for 250 thousand dollars

Vince: What? who brought it?

Coach: Some person named Kamala

Vince: Kamala? From Playboy?

Coach: ......uh, is that what he does now?

Vince: Great, I just thought of something.

Coach: What?

Vince: We hold a contest to see who can create the best gimmick. But we'll rig it so Kamala can win. I've always wanted complete Playboy model gimmick.

Coach: But boss, he's not...

Vince: We'll run it underground so we give all the fans a big suprise when the new playboy model gimmick comes out.

Coach: But boss...

Vince (on phone): Hello, Hugh Heffner, can I talk to Kamala.

**mumbles from phone**

Vince: Pacific Islands? Why should I try there?

**mumbles from phone**

Vince: They reside there? Ooooh, she sounds hot already.

*hangs up*

Vince: Alright guys, we can get ready...

*room is empty*

Vince: Guys? meh, Screw them, I cant wait for this new Kamala gimmick.
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Old 08-25-2004, 05:03 AM   #39
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Kane and Lita: The Honeymoon
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Old 08-25-2004, 05:16 AM   #40
FourFifty
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FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Kane: So Lita, you got everything ready for our honeymoon?

Lita: Yes sweetie pie! I love you so much!

Kane: Uhhh... no, you don't.....

Lita: !taht toub' yorrS

Kane: ....!!!

Lita: I called Triple H and they set everything up for our little get away in Hawiee.

Kane: Hawiee? I thought it was

Lita: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THOUGHT!!!!

Kane: Okay, but what does Triple H have to do with it, or do you mean AAA?

Lita: H, A, they're both letters.

Kane: Well, where are our plane tickets?

Lita: Well, the plane was overbooked. Mark Henry said that Ric Flair told him that, so we're driving!

Kane: What have I done? What have I done?
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