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09-01-2004, 05:57 PM
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#1 |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
  
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DAD: Okay. Can you say...credibility?
BABY HHH: Crebililily. DAD: No. "Credibility." BABY HHH: Clediblillity. DAD: "Cred. Ib. Il. Ity." BABY HHH: Hold down! |
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09-01-2004, 08:28 PM
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#2 |
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Posts: 16
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mom: do you want to say something?
baby kenzo (constipated look):  REY MYSTERIO!!!
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09-01-2004, 08:47 PM
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#3 |
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Less Talk, More Rokk!
Posts: 3,555
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Mom: Randall, I want you to meet your Father, Bob Orton, He's a Legend in Wrestling
Baby Randall:  Bob Orton: I think he likes me, he looks like he is about to say something, What is it son? *Baby Randall extends his hand to his daddy* Randall: Dad....Randy Orton....Legend Killer *Baby Randy Orton jumps up and attempts to RKO his dad but botches it because of his small arms* |
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09-02-2004, 01:14 AM
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#4 |
Posts: 18,357
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Rhyno: "Hehehehe! Cwazee gloo!"
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09-02-2004, 05:39 AM
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#5 |
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...and a Batman symbol
Posts: 663
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...and right now, somewhere else in the world, Bill Goldberg struggles to say his first word....
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09-02-2004, 08:41 AM
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#6 | |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Quote:
 Baby Vince: Kroo job! Vince Sr.: What? Baby Vince: Kroo job! Vince Sr.: What's he saying, hun? Mama McMahon: I dunno... Baby Vince: KROO JOB! KROO BRET! KROO BRET! HEARUT BRAK KIB! KROO JOB! RIG BELL! RIG BELL! Vince Sr.: Screw... Job? What's that? And who's Bret? |
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09-03-2004, 03:46 PM
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#7 |
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Posts: 16
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Is it possible to post more then once? O well, here goes another one.
Dad: Now why did you go all over the house drawing on the wals with a crayon? Baby Rikishi: I did it for The Rock. 
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09-03-2004, 04:01 PM
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#8 | |
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Has an evil monkey...
Posts: 7,299
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Quote:
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09-03-2004, 04:39 PM
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#9 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Mama Nash: Look Hun, he's watching TV!
Papa Nash: Awww... (Kevin is watching a surgical show) Narrator: And so, remember, it is VERY dangerous to tear your quadricep... Kevin: QUAD! TEAR QUAD! (Kevin gets up, tears his quad, and falls) Kevin: WAAA! TEAR QUAD! TEAR QUAD! WAAAAA! |
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09-03-2004, 04:45 PM
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#10 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Hahahaha!!! *hits the buzzzer*
1000 points for Xero. Good mental image! Dinnertime at the [insert WWE wrestler] residence. |
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09-16-2004, 09:10 PM
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#11 |
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One Man Horror Show
Posts: 1,046
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Goldberg! What you did to me at No Way Out, costing me my championship, was the only time you'll ever get the jump on me! When I meet you at Wrestlemania, you'll feel what it's like to be at the receiving end of an F-...
...Oh sod it. I don't want to rabid on all day for geeky internet fans and untraditional males. I wanted to be... I wanted to be... A FOOTBALL JACK! Chorus: la-la-la LA laaaa.... Catching a second pass from the Giants of New York... Chorus: la-la-la LA laaaa.... Playing tight end for the glorious Green Bay Packers... Chorus: la-la-la LA laaaa.... The Bob Grieses.. the Dick Butkises ... ses... Chorus: la-la-la LA laaaa.... The Testeverdes, the Willie Pounders, the Feeleys... Chorus: la-la-la LA laaaa.... With mah best buddy at my side, I'd sing, sing, SING!! I'm a Football-jack, I'm OK, I crashed my bike but I'm a-Okay. Chorus: He's a Football-jack, he's OK, He likes old hags but he don't like gays. I'll catch the pass, I'll block the blitz, And chase girls with pom-poms. If Sable's at the sidelines, I'll tell 'em she's my Mom. Oh, I'm a Football-jack, I'm OK, I'll try for the Vikings 'till I'm old and gray... I'll skip and dance in the endzone, I'll sign autographs. Unless your an internet smark, 'Cause then you'll be broke in half. I'm a Football-jack, I'm OK, I won't sign wrestling stuff, I'll toss it away... He's a Football-jack, he's OOOOKKAAAYYY... he'll probably return to the WWE someday. What? Brock, stay back! Argghhhhh ~~ !!! Oh, God, help us!!! I'm not dead yet! Last edited by El Santo; 09-16-2004 at 10:21 PM. |
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09-03-2004, 04:53 PM
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#12 |
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Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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Lita: Ah Tuna Casserole!
*Lita places plate on table, all it is is a dead fish with breadcrumbs surrounding it* Kane: Oh no I'm an excellent cook, I swear I won't botch it...fucking redhead |
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09-03-2004, 04:59 PM
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#13 |
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Banned WWE on 1/1/07
Posts: 2,141
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Dinnertime at the "Ultimo Dragon" residence.
Mrs. Dragon: "Honey, when are you going to get done with that soup? The kids and I are starved!" *The door busts open and Ultimo flies out with a huge pot of extra hot soup.... --Censored for the sake of Funky Fly---* Mrs. Dragon: "AHHH! IT'S BURNING MY BEAUTIFUL FLESH!" Ultimo: "%&*@#^!" |
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09-03-2004, 05:04 PM
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#14 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Dinner at the McMahons
Hunter: Okay everyone! Here's my specialty, Tuna Noodle Hold Down! Linda: What's the hold down? Hunter: Ketchup! Linda, Shane, and Steph:  Vince: SOUNDS GOOD! (Hunter serves it, everyone takes a bite.) Shane: Mmmm... Not *CHOKE* bad... Linda: Eh... It's great, Hunter! Hunter: Thanks, Ma! Steph: This is... Excuse me... (Steph runs off to the bathroom and you hear her throwing up.) Vince: MMM! THIS IS GREAT! ANY SECONDS!? Hunter: SURE! (Hunter serves Vince the rest.) Vince: This is even better than you in the ring, Hunter! (Hunter gets up.) Hunter: DAMN CASSEROLE! FOREVER YOU WILL BE PUT ON HIGH HEAT FOR 3 HOURS! THEN SEE HOW MUCH VINCE LIKES YOU! Everyone:
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09-03-2004, 05:11 PM
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#15 |
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EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,259
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Thanksgiving,2004. At the Helmslys --
Vince: Alright, Paul. Would you like to carve the turkey this time? HHH (holding bloody Orton from the hair): You see this?! This is what's going to happen-uh to you, Mr. Turkey-uh! Armageddon! 2004! Steel-Cage! I.... AM THE GAME! Flair: Whoo,he tolda that turkeys that he is te game. Nature boy.. the wheelin' dealin -- **FLOPs! ** Vince: Oh, Flair! That's why I love ya! Haha! Thank God we have wonderful talent here like A-train, Batista, and Heidenreich to celebrate the good year and my daughter..'s husband and... JERICHO?! Jericho: Yeah? Vince: WHERE'S MY DINNER, BITCH?! hhh: (now holding bloody Eugene with one hand and the other a sledgehammer) Ooh, Vinny Mac! I'm glad you are my father....! Vince: Oh, Hunter! **hugs H** Shane: ... bastard... Jericho: It could be worse.. you could be married to Lita.. oh,sorry Matt.. Matt (in cooking apron):  end- uh... |
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09-05-2004, 08:09 AM
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#16 |
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...and a Batman symbol
Posts: 663
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Dinner at the Van Dam House
Booker T (yelling to kitchen): So Rob, whats for dinner. RVD (from kitchen): Dude, you're gonna be suprised by this. **RVD comes out of the kitchen holding a very nice looking roasted turkey** RVD: This is the coolest turkey anywhere. I bought it off my dealer....I mean....uh....Walmart....uh.....anyway...this is the coolest turkey ever. Check it out man. **Booker inspects the bird. He doesnt see anything suspicious. He starts sniffing the air for some reason** Booker: Hey man, whats that smell? RVD: Oh....um....uh....The Rock.....yeah...uh....The Rock came over...uh....before...and...uh... Booker: uh....what? RVD:uh....he said...because...um...he said he was gonna help me cook it....you know?.....if ya smell what the rock is cookin?....ya know?...yeah, hes very hypothetical with that, uh.... Booker: um...ok. Whats so special about the bird? RVD: oh, well ya see, it talks. Man, its one funny bird, it tells some of the dirtiest jokes, man. Booker: uh...what? RVD: oh yeah. **starts talking to the bird** hey Mike, tell Booker that joke about the 7 Irishmen and Carmella. **Booker stares at Turkey, waiting for something to happen. Suddenly, Rob cracks up and nearly falls off his chair. Booker sits their giving an odd look to a histerical Van Dam** Booker: What? RVD: That was mad funny, dude. Booker: What was? RVD: oh dont worry. Booker: oh im worrying. Can we just eat? RVD: Yeah, sure help yourself. **Booker graps a leg of turkey, and pulls out some stuffing. Rob grabs a roast potato with his hand, and starts shoeing away something around the potato** RVD: Damn flying mice again. Im sorry, Book Booker: Flying mice? **Booker sticks his fork into his stuffing and brings it to his mouth. He stops just before throwing it into his mouth and sniffs it** Booker: Hey, whats in this, man? RVD: I dont know. Maybe the Gobbledy Gooker got to it. **Booker shrugs, and sticks the fork in his mouth.He starts hallusinating** Booker: man, you didnt tell me you had a pet pink elephant. RVD: what are you talking about, dude? |
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09-05-2004, 04:29 PM
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#17 |
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Posts: 18,357
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1000 pts to gonMad00 with a nice punchline.
Welcoming advice for new WWE wrestlers. |
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09-05-2004, 04:33 PM
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#18 |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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(Knock knock knock)
BENOIT: Come in! (A n00b enters) n00b: Mister Benoit? BENOIT: You're the new guy, right? n00b: Yeah. I have my first dark match tonight, and I was hoping you could give me some pointers. BENOIT: Sure. First of all, you have to be careful when talking about human anatomy around Ric Flair. n00b: Why? BENOIT: Well, let's just say that - for reasons beyond explanation - you need to refer to them as your "frontal head region" and the "thing just above the back of my foot." |
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09-05-2004, 04:37 PM
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#19 |
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Posts: 18,357
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"Welcome to the WWE! Do not, under any circumstances, accept a 'cage party' from Mr. McMahon."
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09-05-2004, 04:38 PM
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#20 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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New Guy: Oh man, I'm really exited! My first RAW match!
Jericho: So, who are you facing? New Guy: Hunter... And I'm schedueled to win! Jericho: Oh... Thats... (Giggle) Great... BWAHAHAHAHA! (Jericho bursts out laughing, RVD walks by) Jericho: THIS KID IS FACING HUNTER IN HIS FIRST MATCH, AND HE THINKS HE'S GOING OVER! (RVD looks at the new guy) RVD: (Snicker) So... (Snicker) Is that what (Snicker) Vince told you? New Guy: No, Mr. Flair did... (RVD and Jericho look at each other, and burst out laughing) Jericho: BAWHAHAHA! I BET HE TOLD YOU TO WALK HERE CAUSE THEY IMPOUNDED YOUR CAR TOO! New Guy: Actually, yeah... (RVD and Jericho start laughing harder and walk away) New Guy: WTF is up with those guys!? Edit: Damn, I really didnt go by this rule, all well 
Last edited by Xero; 09-05-2004 at 05:23 PM. |
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09-05-2004, 09:49 PM
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#21 |
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EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,259
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A clip from the new video for up-and-coming superstars : " Welcome, WWE rookies!"
***Undertaker, HHH, and JBL appear in a ring*** Undertaker: Welcome, rookies! It is great to have you new guys in our business and as you were told before, that this business was tough. You heard wrong. JBL: Yeah, because with us as your bosses, this JOB will be a snap. Right, Hunter?? HHH: (now holding bloody Paul London in one hand) You are correct, Justin Hawk ...YOU SEE THIS!?! THIS IS YOUR FUTURE!! YOU WILL BE TRAPPED IN VELOCITY HELL AS LONG AS IM HERE!! I AM THE GAAAMMMEE!! ORTON, I WILL K-- (JBL and Taker holds HHH down..) **edits, now hhh is with Kevin Nash and Flair with Taker and JBL are nowhere to be seen** HHH: Sorry about that. **Taker,all bloodied up,crawls up to H's leg and H kicks it away** Now here is a good friend of mine, Big Daddy Cool, Kevin Nash and Ric Flair! Nash: Hel -- **tears quad** AHhhh!!!! **falls to ground** HHH : You see? This could happen to you as well. Many years of punishment could take its toll on your body, so make sure you really wanna do this.. **goes to Nash's ear** YOU HEAR ME,YOU SON OF A BITCH-UH!?! THAT'S FOR TAKING MY TITLE!!$@! AUSTINNN?!! Flair: Exactly..well, except for the part when you dida the yellin' in the ear thing. So from all of us here, we hope you enjoy your time here in the -- Benoit (with maid outfit on): Don't do this, kid! It is the worst decision you could ever mak-- ***HHH beats him with a sledgehammer and then Flair flops*** HHH (gasping for air): ...WELL! Um, I hope you will join us at.. uh,...EDIT THIS TAPE!! ORTON!! ('The Game' playing) **For more information on jobbing, call Chris Jericho and Kane at... ** FIN... |
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09-16-2004, 01:46 AM
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#22 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Monty Python's World Wrestling Entertainment
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09-16-2004, 06:30 PM
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#23 |
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Banned WWE on 1/1/07
Posts: 2,141
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HHH: Old woman!
Flair: MAN! HHH: I'm sorry? Flair: I'm a man! HHH: Well, I'm terribly sorry, but with the saggy boobs, I thought you were an old woman. Don't like that? How about Lita singing her rendition of "Every sperm is wonderful"? |
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09-16-2004, 03:06 AM
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#24 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Steph: Oh my god! Triple H! You're arm!
Triple H: Oh, this... It's merely a flesh wound. And thus, from that day forward, Triple H contuined to no sell. |
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09-16-2004, 12:56 PM
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#25 |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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BISCHOFF: There he is!
HHH: Where? BISCHOFF: There! HHH: What? Behind the retard? BISCHOFF: It IS the retard! HHH: You silly sod! BISCHOFF: What? HHH: You got me all worked up! BISCHOFF: Well, that's no ordinary retard. HHH: Ohh. BISCHOFF: That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered retard you ever set eyes on! FLAIR: You tit! I soiled my tights I was so scared! BISCHOFF: Look, that retard's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer! BATISTA: Get stuffed! BISCHOFF: He'll do you up a treat, mate. BATISTA: Oh yeah? FLAIR: You manky WCW git! BISCHOFF: I'm warning you! FLAIR: What's he do? Nibble your bum? BISCHOFF: He's got huge hair - eh - he can take chairshots and not fall down - look at the bones! HHH: Go on, Randy. RKO his head off! ORTON: Right! Silly little bleeder. One retard job comin' right up! |
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09-16-2004, 04:15 PM
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#26 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,132
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How Hardcore Holly got his title shot.
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09-16-2004, 04:56 PM
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#27 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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(Holly knocks on Vince's door...)
Vince: Come in... Oh hi, Bob... Holly: Hey Vince, listen, I've been thinking... I've been with the company for a long ass time... It's about time I... Vince: You want to job to Hunter!? GREAT! I'll set it up right... Holly: No no, I wanted to get a... Vince: You wanted to get an ass fuck from me!? Well, I couldnt be happier! Holly: No no no! Listen Vince, I've been with this FUCKING company for God knows HOW long, and I want a fucking title shot! Vince: What show are you on? Holly: SmackDown!... Vince: Oh, fine... You can have it... I dont care about SmackDown! anyway... You got your shot at Lesnar... Holly: Really? Thanks! (Bob walks out happy...) Vince (Into speaker phone): Betty, send in Brock Lesnar, I have an Email for him... |
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09-17-2004, 06:43 AM
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#28 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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(Holly knocks on Vince's door...)
Vince: Come in... Oh hi, Bob... Holly: Hey Vince, listen, I've been thinking... I've been with the company for a long ass time... It's about time I... Vince: You want to job to Hunter!? GREAT! I'll set it up right... Holly: No no, I wanted to get a... Vince: You wanted to get an ass fuck from me!? Well, I couldnt be happier! Holly: No no no! Listen Vince, I've been with this FUCKING company for God knows HOW long, and I want a fucking title shot! Vince: What show are you on? Holly: SmackDown!... Vince: Oh, fine... You can have it... I dont care about SmackDown! anyway... You got your shot at Lesnar... Holly: Really? Thanks! (Bob walks out happy...) Vince (Into speaker phone): Betty, send in Brock Lesnar, I have an Email for him... Dont feel like making another right now
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09-16-2004, 06:21 PM
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#29 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Um, who the fuck said you can change it, Savior? Go back to the Monty Python one. We'll do Hardcore next... but after MORE REPLIES.
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09-16-2004, 06:26 PM
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#30 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,132
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I was messin around
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09-16-2004, 08:29 PM
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#31 |
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Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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*Vince and HHH are in a room*
Vince: So it's settled, Benoit regulated to HEAT and another title run for you HHH: Hey you forgot Jericho's role Vince: Oh yeah, CHRIS! *Jericho walks in* Vince: Since you're in the lead for Taboo Tuesday, we're gonna have Trish injure you, you're gonna be out for a year. *Eddie busts into a room* Eddie: NNNNNOBODY EXPECTS THE LATINO HEAT INQUISITION HOLMES! |
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09-16-2004, 09:32 PM
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#32 |
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The Caption Crippler
Posts: 8,855
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Case closed. Santo won that round. That was pure, unequivocal genius.
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09-16-2004, 09:37 PM
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#33 |
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President of Freedonia
Posts: 58,383
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*All of the male WWE superstars are sitting in a classroom*
HHH: Now then, did I teach you how to get to the top of the company? Class: No, Mr. Helmsley. HHH: Alright then, *presses a button, a bed comes down from the wall* Honey, get in here! *Steph comes in* HHH: JERICHO!!! How dare you not stand in the prescense of my wife!!! Jericho: Sorry, Mr. Helmsley. HHH: It's off to Heat with you for 1 year. Anyways, honey, would you please assume the position. Steph: *rips off clothes* Yes Hunter. *lays on bed* *HHH strips and mounts her* HHH: Now, as you can see, at this point the penis is more or less fully erect. Just keep going up and down, moving the penis in and out. This is the one sure way to succeed in World Wrestling Entertainment, and....BENOIT??? What's so funny? Please, do share. Benoit: Nothing, Mr. Helmsley HHH: Fine, I think we have our main representative in today's Raw vs. Smackdown battle royal. Benoit:  *Switch to a clip of Raw kicking Smackdown's ass, with HHH of course having no faith in the Raw roster and having to aid them despite the fact they don't need it* |
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09-17-2004, 01:19 AM
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#34 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Oh man, you're right, El Santo takes that round. 10,000,000 points to El Santo for that.
Gimme a moment to gather myself for the next one.
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09-17-2004, 01:19 AM
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#35 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Ah hell...
How Hardcore Got His Title Shot |
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09-17-2004, 01:45 AM
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#36 |
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EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,259
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Scene:WWE HQ, Mr. McMahon's office.
**buzzer** Vince: Come in, Bob. Hardcore: Hey,Vince. Vince: Hey..now I know we have an appointment, but I am low on time so if you have important to say... Hardcore: I do, I know. ....Well?? Vince: Well, what?! Hardcore: ..How ya like me NOW? Vince: My god... Brilliant! Hold on...**dials phone** Hunter? Hunter (outside office with a cell): Yeah, pops? Vince: HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW, BITCHES! Hunter: HAHA! That's great! ...Hold on.. **holds up bloody Booker T. and starts punching him** YOU HEAR ME,BOOK! YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE RAW! NEVER! I AM THE GAME! Hardcore: Hmmm..and I thought I knew how to beat a [/insert fuckhead comment here]! Vince: Hehe.. That's it! You get a title shot on your first PPV back against Lesnar! Then ...***phone rings** Lesnar (on a computer,at the TPWWforums with purple shoulder pads on): DAMN HOMOS! VINCE NEEDS TO HEAR ABOUT THIS.. **picks up phone** Hey.. I was gonna call you.. Holly? Um.. sure..**hangs up** WHAT?! **reads a thread** "Goldberg to WWE"? Ha, lousy lonely mark homos! Good luck! end... period. |
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09-18-2004, 10:16 PM
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#37 |
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devastationstudios.com
Posts: 2,362
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Holly: "Can I have a title shot?"
Vince: "Yes." |
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09-28-2004, 06:24 PM
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#38 |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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HOLLY: Hey, Vince, you know what fans on wrestling websites hate more than me?
VINCE: Ten-day-old bumped threads? HOLLY: Right! VINCE: Have a title shot! |
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09-28-2004, 06:47 PM
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#39 |
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Cranky Kong
Posts: 78,671
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Make a new category, damn it! This thread is great, but this topic is shit.
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09-28-2004, 06:51 PM
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#40 |
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Cranky Kong
Posts: 78,671
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JUST JOE: Mr. McMahon! It's a pleasure to finally meet you!
VINCE: ...didn't I fire you like five years ago? [Just Joe looks around nervously] JUST JOE: Uhh....Guess what I heard! VINCE: Not that I care, but what? JUST JOE: Hardcore Holly said that jobbing on Velocity was the ideal career move! Working a light schedule like that, he said that he was basically collecting paychecks for nothing at all! Not to mention the lack of pressure due to minimum TV exposure! [Vince furrows his brow.] VINCE: That son of a bitch said that? JUST JOE: I swear he did. VINCE: I'll show him... |
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Hybrid Mode
