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09-29-2004, 10:08 AM
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#881 | ||
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R.I.P Tanner
Posts: 8,219
 
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it wasnt my fault
Quote:
Henderson: I have more dimensions as an mma fighter Franklin: How many more dimensions did he say? Was it like 3 more dimensions? Cause thats ALOT of dimensions When I see my opponent, I begin shaking uncontrollably, and once he hits me, I think to myself, You just hit Wanderlei Silva, how dare you hit Wanderlei Silva, and then I try to kill him. Wanderlei Quote:
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09-29-2004, 01:12 PM
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#882 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Lita: ... And Bradshaw, I will take that suspender away from you and beat you with it! Yeah! I'm gonna be champ! I'm gonna be...
**Vince's music hits** Vince: What in the FUCK... You arent going after the WWE title, you arent a heavyweight, or male for that matter, and you arent even on SmackDown!... What the fuck Lita!? Lita: Oh, you mean this isnt a dream? Vince: Wha... NO THIS ISNT A DREAM, GET OUT OF MY.... **Pause** Actually... Next week on SmackDown!, there will be an interpromotional title match! JBL vs. Lita! **The next week** Cole: OH MY GOD! LITA IS THE CHAMPION! JBL: Oh come on, even I know I dont deserve the title, but HER!? |
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09-29-2004, 01:53 PM
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#883 |
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Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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HHH: ORTONUH!!! I AM THE GAMEUH!
*two hours later* HHH: And thats the second time I got crabs... |
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09-29-2004, 02:22 PM
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#884 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Lita: If I can be serious for a moment... I would like to talk about a subject that is close to my heart.... foot fungus! We must join the movement to get rid of foot fungus! For too long there has been a foot fungus epedemic in society!
Kane:Lllllllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. ....... Llllllllllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......... Lita: Yes Kane? Kane: First off, you're going to wrestle Gail Kim next week, not foot fungus... Second off, THERE'S NO FREAKIN' CAMERA AROUND!!!! Lita: Well, if I can be serious for a moment, How do you like me now? Who's next, if ya smell what I'm making! Kane: 
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09-29-2004, 03:03 PM
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#885 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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**JR comes down to the ring for an interview with Mr. McMahon... Vince comes out...**
JR: BAHGAWDVINCE! BROKENINHALFBBQRINGCOLLAPESBAHGAWD! Vince: Yes, it's been a while since I was in a ring in a wrestling role... JR: BAHGAWDWRESTLEMANIAAUSTINAUSTINAUSTIN! Vince: I'm very looking forward with my match at WrestleMania with Austin, there's no doubt about it... JR: BAHGAWDAUSTINMONSTERTRUCKCRUSHVROOMVROOM! Vince: What do you mean he ran over my car with a monster truck!? JR: BAHGAWDAUSTINISHERE! BAHGAWDHERECOMESTHEPAINBAHGAWD! Vince: He's HERE!? UH... I GOTTA RUN! JR: BAHGAWDRUNVINCERUNBAHGAWDSCOLDEDDOG! Fans:  Guys in the back: People at home: Vince (In the back): What a promo! I feel more pumped than ever! Lita: :wlt: |
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09-29-2004, 03:09 PM
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#886 | |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Quote:
 I'm unsure if that's a typo, or Lita botching wtf, but it's funny as hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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09-29-2004, 03:24 PM
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#887 |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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LEMMY: Time to play the game...
JR: Bah gawd, King! Triple H is here! KING: The Game had an emergency root canal just two minutes ago, but he no-so-- He's recovered from the anaesthetic. HHH: rtsahnbfdytn 9oirtoinhm! yu9oiiu';l;kl nherver bedart5 nme foir tyyhe 2wotrldf t5ioler bercas7usde iamn trtye3 btgajm3! JR: Could Randy Orton's career end tonight? FANS:
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09-29-2004, 06:01 PM
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#888 |
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Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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HHH: (carrying a bucket and spoon) Orton, this Sunday, I'm going to eat you alive!!!! Just like I'm going to eat this bucket of lard right now!
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09-29-2004, 06:29 PM
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#889 |
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It's Hammer Time
Posts: 2,207
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*Kane comes from the back with a towel over his head*
Jerry Lawler: It's Kane! Where's Lita?! I want Lita! Puppies!! JR: You and Matt Hardy are the only two I know who could want Lita... *Kane steps into the ring and throws the towel of his head to reveal... HIDEOUS BURNS!* JR: BAHGAWD!! He's hideous! What's the meaning of this?! I thought it turned out that Kane really didn't have burns! *Kane grabs a microphone* Kane: Thaaaaat's right eveeeeerybody! THIS is the reeeeeeaaaaal me! *heavy breathing* I know. You though I was NOOORMAL. Weeeell... *heavy breathing* You were wrooong. You seeeee... I.... have MERELY been weeeearing make up these past few moooonths. To cover my BURNS. NO LONGER! *heavy breathing* Annnnnnd.... thaaat's not ALL. You seeee... in ADDITION.... this isn't reeeealy my voice. It's DUBBED! *heavy breathing* NO LONGER!! *Kane pulls an electronic thingy out of nowhere and holds it to his neck* Kane: *in electronic voice* I am monster again. ARRRRRRG!!! I will light you all on FIRE! JR: BAHGAWD!!!! ----------- *next week, Kane comes out without any burns and takes up the microphone* Kane: I'm sorry. I lied. This is the real me. I also like classical music now. Hit my music! *Beethoven's 9th symphony plays over the PA* |
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09-29-2004, 07:55 PM
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#890 |
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Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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Hardcore Holly: Brock! Im gonna break your ears! Oh wait...sorry. *Clears throut and gets an intimidating look* Brock! I hate you! Im gonna beat your arms off of your feet! Err damnit! Brock..Im gonna break face off! DAMNIT! This odisouly complex is really bad...I mean opedisly...err screw it. Brock! You made pissed of me, your going to get beaten like a son of a bitch and thrown down like the Russian in the movie Tocky. Brock, your ass is gonna get kicken, that I like. Help, you need mine? Given it to ya!
Cole: Help need mine, given it to ya. Now that is so Arkansas. |
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09-29-2004, 11:02 PM
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#891 |
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EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,259
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hhh: ORTON! GET OUT HERE! (holds up a bucket of blue paint, a stuffed animal, and handcuffs) I THINK I HAVE SOMETHING THAT BELONGS TO YOU... **coughcoughFRAGGLEROCKcoughcough**
JR: And here comes RKO!! ***Randy's theme playing in the b/g as Orton makes his way to the ring *** RKO: Ahem.. will the owner of the 98 Accord please move it from the parking lot? It is in a handicap spot and also has its lights on. Thank you. *** "Hey! There's nothing you can say! Nothing's going ruin my mood today.."** JR: BawGawd ! This makes sense! Right, Heidenreich? King: ....Um, ....ok?? |
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09-30-2004, 04:50 AM
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#892 |
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Cranky Kong
Posts: 78,671
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VAL VENIS: HELLOOOOOO LADIES! You know, the Big Valbowski treats STDs like Pokemon. It's gotta catch 'em all! Now...who wants to kiss me and pass out?
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09-30-2004, 05:31 AM
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#893 |
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Posts: 61,634
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Heidenreich: I wrote a poem for you Lita:
I love your plastic butt You little sl*t I wish you would be my friend To the very end That was a poem by Heidnereich. Lita: Oh my Gof, Heidenreich. That was so sweet. I ate a poem for you too: Roses are yellow Trees are red I met an indy jobber And I have him... *WHAT DOES EVERYBODY WANT? Al Snow interupts* Al Snow: LITA! I WANT MY DOG BACK! Lita: I told you I tried walking him and he ended up having relations with David Beckham and it was sold to the tabloids and it had a miscarriage due to Gene Snitsky hitting it with a steel chair. Gene Snitsky: It wasn't my fault! Heidenreich: Al Snow had a dog. It's buried in the bog. Lita: Botches crying and ends up performing world class circus act. Al Snow (thinking): Why am I here? Jim Ross: BAHGAWDSTUNNERSLOBBERKNOCKERBBQSAUCEAUSTINORTONRKOGOVERNMENTMULESCOLDEDDOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! |
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09-30-2004, 07:08 AM
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#894 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Rock: Finally... The Rock... HAS COME... Aww fuck it, you know I'm only here to build up a program with Cena and job at WrestleMania... Why not get it over now? Cena, get your ass out here and pin me! **Lays down**
Vince (In the back): WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING!? Lita: Uh... I may have thrown his script away while cleaning up his locker room and rewrote it to the best of my momory... Vince: Oh for fuck's sake... Rock: COMEON CENA! Cena: Should I go out? Vince: **Sigh** Yeah, but just give him the FU... **Minuites later** Rock: How'd I do!?... What? **Everyone but Rock looks at Lita.** |
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10-01-2004, 04:31 AM
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#895 |
Posts: 18,357
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The WWE Hoedown
Now before I go on, I'd like to elaborate that you're supposed to sing a four line stanza like they do in the Whose Line Hoedown game (typically used in the last segment of the show). On the show, they have four people, and each person sings four lines to a sort of cowboy beat. Typically, they use this to insult each other, but it's always based on a subject. So basically, come up with a quick song that is exactly four lines, no more no less. I'll come up with one in the next reply to give you an idea of the beat of the tune. BTW, here's a quick sample of an actual Whose Line hoedown. You can year the tune, so you get the beat.  http://www.geocities.com/skategod77/Doctor.zip There's a whole page devoted to hoedowns, though some are from the British version of the show. http://www.geocities.com/hoedownsite/downloads.html |
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10-01-2004, 04:32 AM
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#896 |
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Posts: 18,357
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I am a wrestler, oh yes I'm mean and strong.
I go and beat up others guys; my hair is very long! People always dread me as well as my friend the Naitch. They get stuck in the crucifx and go, "DAMN YOU TRIPLE H!" Last edited by Corkscrewed; 10-01-2004 at 06:00 AM. |
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10-01-2004, 04:57 AM
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#897 |
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Posts: 61,634
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I am a wrestler, I have an cushy life
I get paid lots of money, I may even hit my wife But even with reactions of heat and pops If I ever need a ovation, I pull out the Flair flops *Falls face first to the ground* I respect those guys for getting something really funny into a short four lines. |
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10-01-2004, 05:22 AM
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#898 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Wow, they actually did one!
http://www.geocities.com/hoe_down123/wrestling.zip And just the background music. http://www.geocities.com/hoe_down123/Zoo.zip
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10-01-2004, 05:27 AM
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#899 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Nice one Alienoid!
 I am a showstopper oh yes I am a star. I have beaten all the best and I have come real far. You will be amazed by my high flying style. But if I have to job a belt then I just lose my smile! |
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10-01-2004, 05:36 AM
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#900 |
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Posts: 61,634
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I am a babyface, I get a lot of cheers
I hit an elbow drop and the whole place cheers When it comes to movies, I get good roles 'coz I'm good looking That's the end of my song, if you smell what The Rock is cooking BTW, I actually heard them do that wrestling one, can't believe I forgot to bring it up.
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10-01-2004, 05:44 AM
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#901 |
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...and a Batman symbol
Posts: 663
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Wrestlings quite degrading, its really kinda sad.
Never liked it but im in the footsteps of my dad Rising to the top is hard, you have to show demand. But last time I asked for a push, I spooned with Vince McMahon |
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10-01-2004, 05:50 AM
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#902 |
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...and a Batman symbol
Posts: 663
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Walking through aenas with my bright pink underwear.
Some guys can say Im homo, but I dont really care. But wrestling should be considered as just another sin. Because in wrestling, its only just a game of gay chicken. |
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10-01-2004, 05:58 AM
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#903 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Wow. We rock.
I used to be a wrestler but got taken off TV Cuz I was too popular as far as Vince could see. Now when smarks remember me they're always filled with rage. They agree it's a travesty that I'm always in a cage. |
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10-01-2004, 06:18 AM
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#904 | |
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Posts: 61,634
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Quote:
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10-01-2004, 06:20 AM
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#905 |
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Posts: 61,634
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I am a female wrestler, I kinda botch a lot
But I still have a job, 'coz my boss thinks I'm hot I'm currently dating another superstar In case you were wondering his name is Matt Hardy Anyone get the end? 
Last edited by Mr. Nerfect; 10-01-2004 at 05:18 PM. |
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10-01-2004, 08:41 AM
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#906 |
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...and a Batman symbol
Posts: 663
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ROFLMAO guys
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10-01-2004, 08:50 AM
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#907 | |
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Y2KoTF
Posts: 16,241
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Quote:
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10-01-2004, 08:51 AM
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#908 |
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...and a Batman symbol
Posts: 663
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Workin At White Castle, Drive My Parents Car.
Hate It, But One Day Im Gonna Be a Superstar. Gonna Be All Famous, All Over the TV But Until Then Im Wacking Off To Val Venis Porn Movies |
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10-01-2004, 09:41 AM
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#909 |
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So long, Eddie! miss you.
Posts: 1,910
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I like to smoke bongs, the ole mary jane,
I only do 5 moves, every match its the same, The five star frog splash, off the top is where I go My name is RVD, the whole f'n show. |
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10-01-2004, 10:17 AM
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#910 |
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So fucking sexy.
Posts: 20,100
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I'm a superhero, I like to do my job
But it seems that I'm the one who's always getting robbed I used to be a favorite, my enemies stood back! But now I'm getting beat by Flair? C'mon, whatsupwitdat? |
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10-01-2004, 10:29 AM
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#911 | |
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So fucking sexy.
Posts: 20,100
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Quote:
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10-01-2004, 01:29 PM
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#912 |
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One Man Horror Show
Posts: 1,046
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I used to be a jobber, but now I am the Man.
Because I'm now the Chief-of-Staff of some Republican. I can take the Last Ride, I can be crucified, Just don't you ever say that I'm Wayne Brady personified. ...Because I WILL choke a bitch, gosh darned it! I swear it! I SWEAR IT! |
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10-01-2004, 01:54 PM
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#913 |
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It's Hammer Time
Posts: 2,207
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Oh well I used to rap, I used to rap real fine.
But now I hoedown and I really shine. Have no fear, do not despair. There'll still be poop jokes to add some flare! |
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10-01-2004, 02:58 PM
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#914 |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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Back in '97, they said that I was burned
It was all in my head, that's something you all learned I may be strong, but I'm much better than Lex I just can't walk, 'cause my wife botched oral sex |
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10-01-2004, 04:03 PM
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#915 |
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Posts: 18,357
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LMAO!!! Awesome!!!!!
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10-01-2004, 04:06 PM
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#916 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Watching wrestling matches, oh yes it is the best.
I've been calling matches with my Oklahoma zest. I like lots of wrestlers but my favorite is the hoss. I go BAWGAWDROCKBOTTOMSTUNNER and then chug my BBQ sauce! |
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10-01-2004, 05:29 PM
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#917 |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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LOL
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10-01-2004, 05:43 PM
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#918 |
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President of Freedonia
Posts: 58,383
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I was a wrestler, but I left cause I got bored.
The smarks got pissed, I'm sure they all wanted to stab me with a sword. They are all happy, that I didn't make the cut. But the Vikings are upset, cause my girl, she was a slut. |
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10-01-2004, 07:51 PM
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#919 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Let me tell ya brotha, I'm a legend here.
My music hits; the crowd goes wild; I motion to my ear. But I'm a selfish bastard; my greed will never stop. And it's really sad that my finisher is a leg drop. |
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10-01-2004, 07:57 PM
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#920 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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I am the WWE champion
My name is JBL When they say I have no edge how can I blame them my finishers a clothsline from hell that was hard
Last edited by MRAT=VEGETABLES; 10-01-2004 at 10:53 PM. |
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Linear Mode
