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Old 10-11-2004, 05:36 PM   #1081
Gone Mad
EL MERO MERO!
 
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.."Super-Nintendo Chalmers"... that's HILarious! Give that kid a job here !
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Old 10-11-2004, 05:42 PM   #1082
Xero
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Damnit... I hope Linda taped Barney... I gotta get some new ideas...
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Old 10-11-2004, 08:00 PM   #1083
Jorgha
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Chris Jericho is Moongoose McQueen??? ...The topknot threw me off.
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Old 10-11-2004, 08:07 PM   #1084
Xero
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Hmmm... What group could I piss off next? Gays? No, done... Jews? No, same for Germans... KKK? Wait, dont want to piss them off, I got stock in their company... I KNOW! PEOPLE WITH RASHES!
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Old 10-13-2004, 05:12 PM   #1085
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Quote:
Originally Posted by El Santo
Well, you internet smarks know what's on my mind...

....

Meow-meow-meow-meow, meow-meow-meow-meow, meow meow meow meow MEOW-meow-meow-meow...


1000 pts to El Santo. 700 runners up pts to everyone else for some nice, quality quips!


Pat Patterson's going away prank.
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Old 10-13-2004, 05:14 PM   #1086
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Pat: "Hehehe! Hunter's gonna FREAK when he finds out his condoms have been lubricated with Rhyno Glue!"
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Old 10-13-2004, 05:22 PM   #1087
Xero
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A Letter to my Wife,

Fuck you Steph! I'm tired of putting up with your moaning and bitching these past 2 years... Fuck you, and FUCK VINCE!

Fuck off,
Paul


Vince: HUNTERRRRRRRRR!!!
Triple H: Yeah dad?
**Door slams**
(Inaudible yelling)
(Ten minuites later)
Vince: AND STAY OUT!
Triple H: But... But...
**SLAM**
Triple H: Jericho is behind this, I know it!

Pat: **Takes a bite of his apple**
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Old 10-13-2004, 08:26 PM   #1088
loopydate
FIT Challenge Slag People
 
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PAT: (on the phone) How you doin' Brock? (pause) Uh-huh? (pause) Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Anyway, we're going to be in Minneapolis this weekend... (pause) RAW brand. (pause) Yep, everybody'll be there. (pause) Great. Can't wait to see you. Oh, Brock? One more thing. (pause) Hunter'sahomowhousestheinternetbye. (click)
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Old 10-13-2004, 08:36 PM   #1089
Xero
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Patterson: You're hired!
Chyna: Thanks Pat, you're the greatest!
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Old 10-13-2004, 08:43 PM   #1090
Anybody Thrilla
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[Gene Snitsky stands around backstage at Raw, practicing reading from cue cards for an upcoming segment.]

SNITSKY: (reading) IT'S NOT.....MY.......FAULT!

[Snitsky looks away from the cue cards and shrugs.]

SNITSKY: Hmm, easy enough.

[Pat Patterson strolls up casually with a new set of cue cards.]

PATTERSON: Hey, Gene! There's been a change of plans.

[Snitsky makes a confused face.]

SNITSKY: I thought you were leaving?

PATTERSON: I, uh...changed my mind. Here, these are your new lines...

****

J.R.: Well ladies and gentlemen, I've just been informed that we have Gene Snitsky standing by with some comments for Kane and Lita.

KING: Oh boy! This should be good! Gene Snitsky's a dead man talking! Haha! Get it? PUPPIES!

J.R.: Um, right...

*CUT BACKSTAGE*

[The camera is zoomed in on Gene Snitsky]

SNITSKY: IT's NOT......MY........FAULT.......that Triple H is going to retain the title at Taboo Tuesday, the quarter million dollar diva search was rigged, John Cena was never in a bar fight, Eugene isn't really retarded, Stacy Keibler has leg implants, and Vince McMahon has a one inch penis. None of that is MY................FAULT!

[Pat Patterson giggles as he exits the building.]
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Old 10-13-2004, 08:55 PM   #1091
Azriel
The Caption Crippler
 
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Vince: Alright, who let Sean out of his cage?
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Old 10-13-2004, 10:58 PM   #1092
Gone Mad
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Vince: Well, Jericho.. HHH.. it's odd to see you two working so well.

Jericho: Um,yeah.. we just settled everything and we're cool..

HHH: Yup, I was an asshole.. AN ASSHOLE... WHO HOGS UP TV TIME AND RUNS OTHERS' SPOTS! THAT'S ME.. AN ASSHOLE! .. I GOTTA BIG NOSE!

real HHH (covered in dirt): ORTON!.. I mean, Patterson!! You tried to kill me! I should - ** CHAIRSHOT'D BY PATTERSON! ..AND THEN STEALS THE WORLD TITLE**

Patterson (removing gorilla mask): See you on TNA,suckers! **escapes, Crash Holly HC title run style!**

Jericho: I did not see that one coming... .. **runs off**
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Old 10-14-2004, 12:35 AM   #1093
Transplant
...and a Batman symbol
 
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*Vince reads through current roster*

Vince: Who the hell is New Jack?
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Old 10-14-2004, 02:03 AM   #1094
Jorgha
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Quote:
*Vince reads through current roster*

Vince: Who the hell is New Jack?
And why in the hell is Doink coming back?
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Old 10-14-2004, 04:37 AM   #1095
Corkscrewed
 
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Awesome stuff guys! Awesome!
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Old 10-14-2004, 09:29 AM   #1096
Xero
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(Patterson dials 911.)

911: 911 Emergency, how may I help you?

Patterson: Yeah, I found an illegal substance in someone's bag and I know who's it is... It's steroids... Maybe you should send over a swat team or something... We're at the Bradley Center...

911: I'll send someone right over, who is the culprit?

Pat: His name is Paul... He'll be in the dressing room right when you enter the building from the back entrance...

(20 minuites later)

(Triple H is in hand cuffs)

Hunter: DAD! WHAT THE FUCK!? THEY FOUND SOME STEROIDS ON ME! I DIDNT PUT THEM THERE! HONEST!

Vince: FUCKING HELL! There goes the main event! JERICHO! You're filling in for Hunter and winning the title! I have no other choice!

Jericho: Hoho! All right!

Hunter: WHAT!? NOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Triple H is put in a police car and is driven off, while screaming.)

(In the arena, 1 hour later.)

JR: BAHGAWD JERICHO WINS THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! BAHGAWD DOUBLE CHAMPION!

King: And all because Triple H was injured!

JR: BAHGAWD!
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Old 10-14-2004, 10:28 AM   #1097
SuperSlim
*Oh Sh*t*
 
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Pat: You know what Vince. Even though you don't believe me I went out searchin and searchin and found this talent that is really something else.

Vince: Really?

Pat: Yeah. I mean he wrestled in ECW and wrestles in other places as well. The fans will recognize him.

Vince: So who is this guy.

Pat: He goes by the name... Old Jack.

Vince: Old Jack? Are you sure about this?

Pat: Trust me. Would I steer you wrong? Anyway I think just for old times sake just to watch HHH destroy one more person. In a hardcore match.

Vince: What?

Pat: Just one last main event for Raw. I mean all those years just one more time.

Vince: Aight it's done.

*Raw main event time

Announcer: This match is scheduled for one fall. It is a non title hardcore match. intorducing first "The Game Triple H!"

*Triple H comes in and does his water spit thing.

Announcer: And introducing his opponent... ummm Old Jack?

*Pat is seen snickering, good bye Triple H.

Old Jack: What? I ain't old Jack. My name is New Jack!

Vince: What? PATTERSON!

Pat: Looks like you'll be needin a new champ after this one Vinny.

*Pat leaves with a huge smile on his face.
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Old 10-14-2004, 12:10 PM   #1098
FourFifty
As over as Crystal Pepsi
 
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FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Vince: Where's the creme filling?
Pat: I think Ric gave your creme filling to The Undertaker... Why don't you ask him?
Vince: Alright, I'll ask him.
*5 mins later*
Vince: Hey Ric, did you give my creme filling to Mark?
Ric: GOD DAMN IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THESE F***ING INSIDER TERMS! YOU SONOFA BITCH!
*Naich flips out, pushes Vince out a window, flops, and then we see Pat with a bowl of creme filling with VInce's name on it, and a karzy straw*
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Old 10-14-2004, 02:43 PM   #1099
Xero
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(Vince and Hunter walk in to a room and everyone is laughing)

Vince: Hey guys, what's so fun... WHAT THE FUCK!?

(Vince pulls a paper off the board which reads "Vince likes it up the butt!" with a picture of Triple H with his thumb up...)

Vince: WHAT THE FUCK!? WHO DID THIS!?

(Everyone snickers)

(Hunter walks out of the room embarassed)

Vince: THAT'S IT... WH... Oh no... OH NO!

(Vince looks on a TV to see a big banner in the arena with the same thing on it. People are starting to file in and are laughing and pointing at it.)

Vince: WHO THE FUCK DID THIS!

RVD (To Jericho): Heh, that's good one... I wonder who did it...

(Pat walks away from the arena laughing)
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Old 10-14-2004, 05:47 PM   #1100
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1000 pts to Xero Limit. I liked his Chyna one. Unfortunately, I can't rep him.

980 pts to everyone else, because that was really good. Pat yourselves on the back!

Spectacular Ways to Get Fired
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Old 10-14-2004, 06:02 PM   #1101
Evil Vito
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King: "And Triple H sets up Jericho for the Pedigree...here it comes!"

JR: "WAIT A MINUTE! What is this??? The whole roster rushed the ring and is assaulting Triple H! BAH GAWD!"

PA: "No chance, that's what you got..."

Vince: "*points at Benoit* You're fired, *Eugene* you're fired, *Regal* you're fired, *Shelton* you're fired, *Kane* you're fired" etc until the entire roster is fired except for HHH
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Old 10-14-2004, 06:07 PM   #1102
Xero
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Vince: Hey baby, how about a nice B&J sandwich?
Stacy: Ummm... No....
Vince:
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Old 10-14-2004, 08:17 PM   #1103
FourFifty
As over as Crystal Pepsi
 
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FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
RVD: Hey Vince, remember that song, "Stand Back"?
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Old 10-14-2004, 09:08 PM   #1104
PorkSoda
Diabetes Coming To Getcha
 
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Pat Patterson: Hey Vince, we cannot elevate new stars because, In my view, Triple H has been hogging the spotlight for quite a while. Don't you think that H should step out of the spotlight and elevate some fresh, young talent?
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Old 10-14-2004, 09:36 PM   #1105
Jorgha
Mostly Harmless
 
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Jorgha does not have that much rep yet (10+)
"Vince, there is someone waiting to see you in your office. Something about new evidence in the steroid trials....."
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Old 10-14-2004, 09:42 PM   #1106
Disturbed316
 
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"Gee Vince, your hair is receading alot, you going for the Kurt Angle look or something?"
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Old 10-15-2004, 12:22 AM   #1107
Gone Mad
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Gone Mad is good (20,000+)Gone Mad is good (20,000+)Gone Mad is good (20,000+)Gone Mad is good (20,000+)Gone Mad is good (20,000+)Gone Mad is good (20,000+)Gone Mad is good (20,000+)Gone Mad is good (20,000+)
"You know who was a great wrestler? NailZ. Remember him? ...Vince? ..What about Bret Hart?"
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Old 10-15-2004, 12:43 AM   #1108
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Old 10-15-2004, 01:52 AM   #1109
Innovator
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*RVD walks into the locker room*

RVD: Hey guys, you'll never guess what I got for us ... a little entertainment!

*guys huddle around*

RVD: RANDOM DRUG TEST! HHH, you first
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Old 10-15-2004, 06:21 AM   #1110
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Jericho: Hey Vince... I've been thinking... Triple H, Undertaker, and JBL all suck... How about...

(Jericho wakes up 10 hours later in an ally with a note that reads "You're fired!" taped to his chest...)

Jericho: Wha... What happened....?
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Old 10-15-2004, 03:44 PM   #1111
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Jericho: "Tonight on the Highlight Reel...all the women that Vince McMahon has cheated on his wife with...."
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Old 10-15-2004, 04:48 PM   #1112
Shawshank
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Rikishi : Hey Vince we've all heard of the Vince McMahon Kiss my ass club, well how would you like to join the Big Kish kiss my ass club ?

or Hogan : I swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth
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Old 10-15-2004, 06:00 PM   #1113
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FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Maven: Hey Vince, check out this web site! They talk about you a lot on the message board!
Vince: Oh really? What's the url?
Maven: Http://www.tpww.net
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Old 10-15-2004, 06:13 PM   #1114
Shawshank
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Shawshank does not have that much rep yet (10+)
Lynda mac walking past a store cupboard when the fabulas moola comes out, wipes her mouth then puts her teeth in, the next thing vinnie mac walks out doing his trousers up. yet again lynda cant see passed vinnie's wallet so she fires moola for demeaning the company image!
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Old 10-16-2004, 04:00 PM   #1115
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Hahahahaha....trousers.
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Old 10-16-2004, 05:39 PM   #1116
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People on Triple H's Goodside:
Flair: I've made pleanty of virgins scream out and bleed!

(In the back)
Vince: DAMNIT FLAIR... Dont do it again, okay?

People on Triple H's bad side:
RVD: I've made pleanty of virgins scream out and bleed!

(In the back)
Vince: GET THE FUCK OUTA MY BUILDING! YOU'RE FIRED!
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Old 10-17-2004, 07:32 PM   #1117
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"Hey Vince, how you doing, **coughcough.. YOUREADICKHEAD AND YOUREEKOFSPAM.. coughcough**.. nice weather we're having... **cough.. IHATEYOURGUTS TRIPLEHISKILLING THESHOW.. cough**.. ... Your daughter's hot, right??.. "
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Old 10-17-2004, 07:43 PM   #1118
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(Flair walks into the room)

Triple H: Oh yeah... Give it to me Vince... YEAH!

Vince: Yeah bitch, you like...

(They look over to see Flair, stunned)

Vince and Hunter: Oh shit...
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Old 10-17-2004, 08:01 PM   #1119
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Triple H: Hey Chris, Vince wants to see you.
Chris Jericho: Oh thanks for telling me Hunter!

(Jericho walks into Vince's office talking to a writer)

Vince: So I was thinking that we need to push a talented wrestler....

(Jericho is smiling)

Vince: What do you want Chris....

Jericho: That son of a bitch.....

Vince: What? Did that damn Chris Benoit say something to you?

Jericho: No that bastard Triple H....

Vince: He calls me daddy, and therefore I'm a bitch and he's my son so Chris,


YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 10-17-2004, 08:08 PM   #1120
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(Vince, Hunter, and Steph are all sitting at a table... Jericho knocks...)

Vince: Come in, Chris...

Jericho: Hey Mr. McMahon, what's up?

Vince: Well Chris, I have a little game for you... You see this?

(Vince points to a bingo ball turner)

Jericho: Yeeeah....

Vince: There are 30 balls in there.

(Triple H snickers)

Vince: Shh, hehe, shhh... Anyway, there are 30 balls in there... 29 which say "World Heavyweight Title run"... 1 which says "You're Fired"... I'm sure you know which one you have to get... Now, put your hand down there and give 'er a go!

Jericho: Damn! What are the odds!? Looks like I'm gonna be a champion again!

(5 minuites later, Jericho walks out)

Jericho: God damn it...
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