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Old 01-16-2005, 06:02 PM   #1441
PorkSoda
Diabetes Coming To Getcha
 
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PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
Goldbird: Bawk!
Goldberg: Buh?
Goldbird: Bawk! Quack!
Goldberg: What da buh?
Goldbird: BAWK BAWK! BAWK!
Goldberg: BUH UH UH BUH!
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Old 01-16-2005, 06:44 PM   #1442
Ferocious
jWo 4 Lyfe!
 
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Alienoid you have been keeping this thread readable since I stopped coming in it
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Old 01-16-2005, 07:01 PM   #1443
Innovator
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This isn't WWE

Innovator: Hey Raven
Raven: Hey kid
Innovator: so whats it like to be a god?
Raven: Eh not bad, whats it like to be the diety of TPWW?
Innovator: Eh not bad
Raven: Sweet
Innovator: sweet ass sweet
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Old 01-16-2005, 07:02 PM   #1444
Innovator
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Eugene: are you a fan?
Splaya: Will you be my friend?
Eugene: YAY
Splaya: YAY
*double airplane spin*
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Old 01-18-2005, 09:31 PM   #1445
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Me: (almost emotionless) I like your poetry
Heidenreich: (similarly cold) I like what you do to popular threads.
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Old 01-18-2005, 10:11 PM   #1446
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Crashnburn: "Whoa! You're Rhyno!"
Rhyno: "Yeah, how you doing?"
Crashnburn: "I'm good, man. I have been one of your biggest fans ever since ECW."
Rhyno: "Oh yeah? Well, hey, I really appreciate that."
Crashnburn: "Yeah, man, I use to love to see you work in ECW. Too bad ever since you went to WWE you've just been a giant pussy."
Rhyno: ".....what?"
Crashnburn: "Well, c'mon, you haven't exactly been as exciting as you use to be..."
(Rhyno face twists into a face of anger.)
Crashnburn: "...and how long has it been since you have had serious gold around your waist? You've been buried so far down that fans have to use a shovel just see one of your matches."
(Before Crashnburn can even say another word Rhyno Gores him, gets up and begins to walk away.)
Crashnburn: (Getting up and dusting himself off.) "What the hell was that? This is exactly what I'm talking about. Your Gore doesn't even have the impact that it once did."
(Rhyno's face now twists into one of homicidal rage. He spins around and Gores Crashnburn harder than any one else he has ever gored. Suddenly Paul Heyman appears out of no where)
Heyman: "GOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE!!!!!"

(Three weeks later Rhyno's cell phone rings)
Rhyno: "Hello?"
Operator: "Is this the WWE superstar Rhyno?"
Rhyno: "Yes it is."
Operator: "We have a collect call for you from someone at Our Angel of Mercy Hospital who just awoke from a coma. He asked for you as soon as he was awake. Will you accept the charges?"
Rhyno: "Uh... yeah I guess."
Crashnburn: "YOU CALL THAT A GORE?!?"
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Old 01-18-2005, 10:28 PM   #1447
Scorpion
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LOL Crashnburn, love it
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Old 01-19-2005, 04:24 AM   #1448
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wwe is neat
wwe is neat: Hi I'm wwe is neat.
Triple H: Hi.
.... what... the... hell...?
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Old 01-19-2005, 04:26 AM   #1449
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1000 pts to Alienoid, Porksoda, Innovator, and crashnburn.

If wrestlers had their own holidays...
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Old 01-19-2005, 06:50 AM   #1450
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Announcer of Holiday: Hello welcome to Triple H century day.
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Old 01-19-2005, 03:15 PM   #1451
PorkSoda
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President Bush: I know declare this day....Kevin Nash Day!
Suddenly, Bush falls down, holding his leg. This is soon followed by everyone else in the USA falling down, holding their leg.
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Old 01-19-2005, 03:33 PM   #1452
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Jericho: Welcome to... FEBRUARY 25th... IS... JERICHO! On this day, anyone who has been working for a company for more than five years and never gets promoted gets a free, mandatory promotion!

People: WOOOO!

Triple H: WHAT!? Well, we don't have to do it!

Vince: Uh, Hunter, bad news, it's now a law, so we have to do it.

Triple H: ... SHIT!

(Ten days later, the main event is filled with the likes of Funaki, Jericho, Hardcore Holly, and Scotty Too Hotty.)

Random Smark: It's win-lose, whatcha gonna do?
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Old 01-19-2005, 03:57 PM   #1453
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I think we should start a new thread with this.
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Old 01-19-2005, 04:02 PM   #1454
Gone Mad
EL MERO MERO!
 
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(Damn it, Porksoda beat me to the joke! lol! Oh, well..)

Vince: Welcome everyone to the first ever SHAWN MICHAELS day! ** The entire crowd is livid and starts to grab weapons and charging!!** OH SHIT!!
HBK (in disguise, a cowboy hat, running with Vince): You just had to announce this in Canada, didn't you?!
Vince: I thought those pinatas were a good thing?
HBK: They were of me, you flacid asshole!
Vince: ...Oh... still don't get it..
HBK:

end.
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Old 01-19-2005, 04:04 PM   #1455
Crashnburn
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xero Limit 126

(Ten days later, the main event is filled with the likes of Funaki, Jericho, Hardcore Holly, and Scotty Too Hotty.)

Random Smark: It's win-lose, whatcha gonna do?

LMAO
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Old 01-20-2005, 01:05 PM   #1456
PorkSoda
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PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
President Bush looks on the calender and it reads "JR day"

President Bush: Baw Gawd! Its Halloween!

Scene cuts to the MLB. Red Sox Johnny Damon hits a homer.

Commentator: Touchdown!

Scene cuts to the PGA. Tiger Woods gets a Hole in One.

Announcer: GOAAAAL!

Scene cuts to the NBA. Dennis Rodman scores a 3-pointer.

Announcer: HOME RUN!

Scene cuts to Wrestlemania 21. Trish Stratus is walking down the isle.

King: KITTENS!
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Old 01-20-2005, 02:53 PM   #1457
El Santo
One Man Horror Show
 
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*Triple H lies face down on the mat*

HHH: Goddamnit... I hate Ultimate Warrior Day.
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Old 01-20-2005, 03:04 PM   #1458
What Would Kevin Do?
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National Snitsky day.

George Bush at the State of the Union address.

"Now I know that some people feel that we've caused more problems in Iraq that we solved. Also, the news broke yesterday North Korea has Nuclear weapons that our government gave them... But it's not my fault."

And everyone was happy, the end.
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Old 01-20-2005, 03:37 PM   #1459
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1000 pts to El Santo's perfectly executed punch line.

If Vince McMahon ran Disney...
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Old 01-21-2005, 10:29 AM   #1460
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*In new Disney Movie*

Triple H: I, Prince CHHHarming will free ye' from the spell cast on you by Carlito's poison apple.

*Triple H approaches Undertaker sleeping in a casket with the seven cruiserweights Kidman, London, Nunzio, Spike, Chavito, Funaki and Akio watching on when random divas run out on screen and start dancing while the diva search music is playing.

*Triple H suddenly has the World Heavyweight Championship in his hands.*

Triple H: I am the greatest in this industry.....*90 minutes later*........I proved without a shadow of a doubt I am the greatest in this industry.

Mic "Key Mouse" Flair: WOOOOOOOOO! You tell 'em, Champ! You're the best!

Dave Batista (in Pluto costume): Damn this is embarassing, but it's going to do better than XFL.
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Old 01-21-2005, 10:58 AM   #1461
Afterlife
So fucking sexy.
 
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Mark Calloway signs movie deal with Tombstone Pictures....
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Old 01-21-2005, 02:15 PM   #1462
El Santo
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Show introduction: "It's A Small World" as sung by the Disney Cruiserweights (Rey, Funaki, Spike, Nunzio, Gillberg)

Mickey: Wonderful World of Disney is coming to you, LIVE, from the Magic Kingdom in Anaheim, California! And, by golly, you folks at home are in for a real treat! The Magic Kingdom's general manager, Scrooge McDuck, has managed to sign the industry's most desired free agents away from none other than Warner Brothers! And we're going to witness this gosh-darned historic moment here tonight!

Goofy: Gawrsh, M.M., I can't wait! *spots Pluto* PUPPIES! Hyuck!

*Mickey shakes his head sadly*

* "No Chance" blares throughout the park. Entering first through the gates of the Sleeping Beauty Castle. Scrooge McDuck struts in, accompanied by a scantily clad escort *

Goofy: Willya look at that cow!

Mickey: *Shocked* Now, Goofy, that's not very nice!

Goofy: No, no, M.M.... See? It's Clarabelle Cow! Hyuck!

Mickey: Why so it is! That Jezebel!

*Clarabelle parts a pair of velvet ropes, and Scrooge McDuck arrives at a table set up at the Snow White grotto*

Scrooge: I just wanted to start off by saying that you people better appreciate that I took the time to fly down to a wannabe city like Anaheim, Florida.

*crowd boos*

Scrooge: Let's face it folks, when even the local ball team wants to erase all traces of this backwater down by calling themselves the LOS ANGELES Angels, you know something's very, very wrong.

*crowd boos*

Scrooge: And even though I am THE RICHEST DUCK IN THE WORLD...

*boos*

Scrooge: ... and this fellow and I have never seen eye to eye, I do know business, and I know what's good for business. So let's cut to the chase. I'd like to introduce to you....

*crowd comes to life: starts chanting "BUGS! BUGS! BUGS!*

Scrooge: ... the most electrifying man in animated entertainment...

*"BUGS! BUGS! BUGS!"*

Scrooge: ... the rascally rabbit himself ...

*Suddenly, the air is pierced by the lyrics "Yes it's he, yes it is he ALI A BABUA..."*

Mickey: What the heck's going on here? Goofy?

Goofy: Search me, Mickey. Hyuck!

*Suddenly, Aladdin walks through the Sleeping Beauty Castle's gates, a menacing glare penetrating the crowd*

Scrooge: *livid* Cut the music. CUT THE MUSIC! You... You'd better have a good expanation for interrupting my announcement, or you're FFFFFFIIIIRRREEEED!!!

Aladdin: Don't think I don't see what's going on here! You think I don't see the obvious BIAS here in Walt Disney? Can't you see what's going on? You go out of your way to sign yet another ANTHROPOMORPHIC character, while us Arab-Americans are never given a chance!

*On his shoulder, Apu squeals something unitelligible, but still gets the crowd riled up*

*chants of "USA! USA!" break out in the Magic Kingdom*

Aladdin: Well, I've brought it upon myself to rectify this heinous situation. Your "rascally rabbit" won't be well enough to come out here tonight, courtesy of an old friend...

*New lyrics blare through the speakers: "Weeeeellll... it's the GENIE!!!!! It's the big, blue Genie toniiiight..."*

Mickey: By Gosh, it's can't be! I thought he was suspended ever since he threatened to powerbomb poor defenseless Jasmine on Pride Rock!

Goofy: Really? I thought he was given some time off because he was gettin' fat.

Mickey: Shhhhh! *shifts eyes* It's Scrooge McDuck and the Genie ... NEXT! Ha HA!
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Old 01-21-2005, 03:07 PM   #1463
Gone Mad
EL MERO MERO!
 
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"Coming soon to theaters: A Walt Disney (voice changes) [VINCE MCMAHON] Animated Film! It's 'WrestleMania: The Musical!' Starring the voices of WWE Superstars HHH, Tajiri, Eugene, HeidenReich, Kane, Christy Hemme, and Dustin Hoffman as the voice of the Great GooblyGooker."

**A scene from the film, as a Prince is singing on top of a castle **

Prince: Oh, medievel woman! Medievel woman, how I miss your kiss as
you have kissed my wrist! Oh, Sandy! You cam--
**STEELCHAIR TO THE SKULL OF THE PRINCE!!**
HHH: You think you can take over this castle, Orton... Think.. AGAIN!

**Bashing the Prince over and over and .... still... he still beating down... ok, next scene**

'With brand new music from great artists like Clay Aiken, Lindsey Lohan, MegaDeth, Tenacious D, Puffi AmyYumi, Ludacris, and ..Fozzy.. who will be catering the food.'

**Another scene plays with Eugene and Christy singing a love song to each other, in a boat in a pond.**

Christy: I love.. that you love me!! ..Cause... um... I dunno... AND STUFF!!
Eugene (while wearing mouse ears hat): ARIEL FROM THE LITTLE MERMAID! 1990! NOW AVAILABLE ON DVD!
Christy (whispering): no, we sell things after they come in to see this movie, ok?
Ric Flair (pops out from below the boat): WHOO!! KISS THE GIRL!! LIMOSUINE RIDIN, WHEELING DEELING... **Flops on boat!! **
Eugene: GOT A FISH!!!

'Critics have spoken about the film that will rejuvenate the Disney name like one from Seattle Post says "BAWGAWD, my favorite part was the barbeque nearlytorninhalf! Oh and my friend like the puppies".

And the New Yorker says "IT WASN'T MY FAULT... it was delightful! Loved it, I'm taking the little ones to see it!" And one other guy said that is was bad and blah blah blah.. well, they sucked!'

**One more scene plays as the cast of wrestlers are singing together on a grassy field, with Dustin Hoffman in a Chicken outfit and a lovable, marketable green blob with eyes. Also there is a rainbow. **
Wrestlers: Oh, the brand split is now over, and now we are in peace! We can all go job to the one called H and everything is great and everything is.... GREAT!!!!
HHH: ORRRRTTTONNNN!!!!!!
** HHH bashing in the green blob and forest animals to a pulp. **
Hoffman: Can I have my money now?

'Wrestlemania: The Musical!' Coming soon to video and DVD, and then will be frozen with Walt himself for 10 years until we need more money, even if it flops. So watch it now or YOU'RE FIRED!!!!"

"Rated G."
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Old 01-21-2005, 04:25 PM   #1464
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Oly shit, El Santo, that was gold. 1000000 pts to El Santo.


The WWE Daycare Service
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Old 01-21-2005, 07:57 PM   #1465
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Parent: "I was a little nervous leaving my child here, since you just opened up earlier this week."

Daycare Manager: "I assure you we have the finest staff looking after your child. In fact your child should be right in here....... WHERE ARE ALL THE CHILDREN?!?" (The manager turns and sees that room's attendant standing in the corner.) YOU THERE, YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO BE WATCHING OVER THE CHILDREN, WHERE DID THEY GO?!?!?" (Turning back to the Parent) "I apologize, this never happens." (Turning back to the Attendant) "ANSWER ME NOW! WHERE ARE ALL THE KIDS?!?"

The Room Attendant, Gene Snitsky: "IT WASN'T MY FAULT!!!!"
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Old 01-21-2005, 08:27 PM   #1466
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Triple H: OK everybody, does everyone remember what I taught you to do? Ready? On one, two three.....

Kids (Together): Lie-down! *Kids lie-down for Triple H to cover individually as Ric Flair screams out "You're the best champ!" over and over again.*
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Old 01-23-2005, 03:55 AM   #1467
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GENE SNITSKY: "Here at the WWE Child Care services, we get a kick out of taking care of your children! "
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Old 01-23-2005, 08:17 AM   #1468
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WWE Anouncer: Here at the WWE babysitting service we have state of the art "playpens" for all of your children

Camera pans around to see Sean O'Haire's old cage now being lived in by Paul London

London (monotone) these "playpens" are great...DON'T SEND YOUR KIDS...

WWE Anouncer: That's right don't send your kids anywhere else other than the WWE babysitting service

(In the background we see HHH beating Paul London with a sausage
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Old 01-23-2005, 08:29 AM   #1469
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lol Corky


At the daycare service, it shows all the little kids sleeping in their playpens. Suddenly....the bell rings! All the kids wake up and throw down their playpen cages and walk out.

Kid1: Show me the puppies show me the puppies show me the puppies!

Kid2: (Swiveling his hips really badly) Heewwwwwwwwooooooo waaaadies!

Kid1: (Prancing around) Puppies the puppies! Show me the puppies!

Kid3: (Throwing a toy in a little girls face) IT WASNT MUH FAULT!

Another kid goes to climb on his playpen, but gets thrown off by another kid.

Kid4: (To another kid) YOUUUUUR FIIIIIIIIRED!

Kid1: Show me the puppies!

Kid6: SLOBKNUCKA!
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Old 01-30-2005, 06:10 AM   #1470
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1000 pts to myself because I liked my one-liner.

Bad ways to cheat in a match
(might have done this a long time ago... but oh well)
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Old 01-30-2005, 09:19 AM   #1471
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(Bradshaw is getting his ass kicked. He throws his opponent out of the ring and goes up to the ref.)

Bradshaw: I'll give you $5000 to fast count him!

Ref: Hmmmmm....

(All of a sudden, 'It's All About the Money' hits and Ted Dibiase comes out to the ring.)

Ted: I'll give you $10,000 to DQ Bradshaw for bribing you!

Ref: ... RING THE BELL!

Bradshaw: NOOOOO! DAMN YOU TED DIB...

Ted: And I'm suing you for using my gimmick!

Bradshaw: GOD DAMN IT!
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Old 02-02-2005, 07:36 PM   #1472
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Old 02-02-2005, 08:24 PM   #1473
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** In a match between Angle and Cena **

Cole: WOW, these two are real beating each other to a pulp and-- why does Angle have the mic?
Angle: I told you I'd shock the world and here he is, your demise, Cena .. Shockmaster 2k5!!!!

**Shockmaster 2k5 comes out the ground and still manages to trip and lose his mask**
Cena:
Angle: .... Well.. um, I thought he would of... um.. I WIN!! **runs away**
Cena: Why am I still here? I gotta go finish filming 'Mr. Nanny 2: Electric Boogaloo' !

END.
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Old 02-02-2005, 08:50 PM   #1474
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*Hogan and Nash are sitting in the back talking about what they are going to do for their next match*

Hogan: "I got an idea, Bruther! How about instead of having a great match that the fans will really get a kick out of, how about we circle each other a few times and then I poke you in the chest and you fall down and let me cover you for the three! What do you think of that, Bruther?"

Nash: "I think it's a brilliant idea!"
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Old 02-12-2005, 11:55 AM   #1475
James Steele
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*Match Between Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit*

Shawn Michaels tries to put the sharpshooter on Benoit but Bret Hart comes out talks to Earl Hebner. Shawn Michaels gets out and goes to see what the hold up is...

Earl: Damn it, ring the bell. He is one of those damn Canadians!
*Bell rings*

Shawn: Damn it, he is canadian! Bret, tell them... I told you to come here so I could apologize and make Benoit support Canada.

Bret: Shawn, I love America now!

Earl: Chris is a good ole' boy from Georgia. Damn Canadians always trying to trick me. I have never heard of any Canadians named Chris, but Shawn is more canuck than maple syrup!

Shawn: Damn it, Bret!

*Bret and Chris laugh their asses off as Shawn Michaels gets kicked in the nuts by Earl Hebner*

Earl: Take that you punk-mouthed Canadian!

Howard Finkel: Here is your winner as a result of a disqualification via Canadian ATLANTA'S OWN CHRIS BENOIT!
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Old 02-12-2005, 08:12 PM   #1476
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Pro wrestler love ballads.

Try to keep them relatively short... like 10 or 20 lines max.
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Old 02-12-2005, 09:50 PM   #1477
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I love you baby...
I need you baby...
I can not shine without you...
Baby, I need my gold because I am the...
Because I am...
The Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!
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Old 03-14-2005, 06:22 PM   #1478
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Randy Orton Pranks Gone Wrong

Bump, by the way... I miss this.
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Old 03-14-2005, 06:51 PM   #1479
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Randy: Hey, guys, watch this! I'm about to ruin the Undertaker's legacy! *Randy RKO's Taker for the three count at 'Mania*
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Old 03-14-2005, 06:55 PM   #1480
What Would Kevin Do?
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Randy: Heh.. I'll teach that snooty bitch. Cheat on Hardy with Edge and not me...
*Randy grabs a purse with a "Lita" keychain and runs into the bathroom.

*20 minutes later, Randy emerges and finds Lita.*

Randy: Hey, LITA!! I found your purse..
Lita: THanks Randy, but that's not mine.
Randy: Huh??
Lita: I was going to stick that chain on my purse so I didn't lose it, but I screwed up and stuck it on the wrong one.
Randy: How the hell do you botch remembering what purse is yours?
Lita: Well I thought I saw a tampon sticking out... It wasn't though, it was a strapon...Oh well.

*Lita walks away, and Randy is confused as all hell as he holds the mysterious purse. Moments later, the door opens.*

HHH: Hey Randy, have you seen Stephanies' purse?
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