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#1 |
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*Oh Sh*t*
Posts: 19,302
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*I'm a Real American plays and Hogan comes out.
*Hogan gets to the ring and strats posing for about 15 minutes. Hogan: You know something brothers I... *Shannon Moore's theme hits and he sprints to the ring and kicks Hogan in the knee. *Hogan crumples down. |
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#2 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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(Lita is facing Victoria in a match.)
JR: AND HERE COMES THE WIDOW'S PEAK! NO! LITA JUST SQUIRMED OUT! BAHGAWD! NO WAY! BAHGAWD! LITA WITH A PICTURE PERFECT CANADIAN DESTROYER! King (obviously out of character): Holy shit... I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen, but holy fucking shit... |
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#3 |
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Shadow Conspircy leader
Posts: 18,582
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All the good ones are taken!
*HHH vs. HBK part 505054983473948 Hell In A Cell match is going on. HHH is about to hit the pedigree when suddenly Hardkore Holly's music hits* HHH: What the hell? *after a few seconds nothing happens. HHH shruges turns back to HBK only to get met with the Alabama Slam by....SHANNON MOORE!* |
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#4 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Chris Masters: Come on! $30,000 if you can break the Master Lock!
*Scotty 2 Hotty comes out.* Masters: Please! Scotty: C'mon! Lock it in! *Masters locks in the Master Lock when the Heartbreaker's music hits.* JR: BAHGAWD IT'S ROMEO AND HE HAS A GIANT KEY! HE'S STUFFING IT UP MASTERS' ASS! BAHGAWD SCOTTY UNLOCKED THE MASTER LOCK WITH SOME HELP FROM ROMEO! |
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#5 |
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EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,259
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** During a Edge matchup against Slyvan Grenier (you know, Resistance guy?) **
JR: Wow, this is incredibly dull. Um, I think Edge will win this like a steak in an artery contest. King: yeah, sure... uh.. WHOA, Maven just got in the ring and... OH MY GOD! HE JUST DID A 450 LEG SPLASH ON SLYVIAN! What's this now?JR: Maven just a Van Terminator into a DDT from the other side of the ring to Edge! BAWGAWD! Now that's the Maven we all now of! No, wait, no... Maven?? King: ASAI MOONSAULT INTO A HURRICANRANA TO THE REF!! |
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#6 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Ahahahahahahahaha!!!! 1000 pts for Xero Limit.
KARMA: WWE Style |
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#7 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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JR: If Triple H wins this match, he will be 16 time world champion! WAIT! PEDIGREE! YES! WAIT! OH NO! HIS LEG BUCKLED UNDER HIM!
Triple H: OH SHIT MY QUAD! OH GOD! JERICHO! COV- What am I crazy!? *Jericho locks in the Walls and Triple H taps out of sheer pain. Jericho becomes World Heavyweight Champion.* (Three months later.) Doctor: I'm sorry Paul, but you're going to have to hang up your boots. If you even run with this leg God knows what will happen. Triple H: DAMN IT! AND I WAS SO CLOSE TOO! (I'm going to try to lay off the Triple H jokes, but it's just all too obvious and funny...) |
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#8 |
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Kiss the blade
Posts: 8,284
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Us at TPWW meets Lita
(Random spokesperson for tpww):Lita you always Botch things, you botchinator (Lita): Go to hell [later that night Lita is in a match with Trish, Edge interrupts and Lita is about to do the litasault (or whatever that shit is) when suddenly.. ......THE TURNBUCKLE BOTCHES AND GIVES WAY!!!! Lita breaks her leg cant wrestle again.... |
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#9 |
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Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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*In Germany*
Hardcore Holly: HEIL HITLER! *starts goosestepping* Fans: ![]() *one month later* Jr: BAHGAWD! HOLLY IS THE NEW UNDISPUTED CHAMPION! |
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#10 |
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A Pittsburgh Original
Posts: 175
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News: WWE server crashes, and only some Triple H segments servive, however, only matches available on WWE.com and WWE 24/7 is Triple H vs Ultimate Warrior from WM XII and post-Curtain Call segments and matches.
------------------------------------------------ Aaron Rift gets virus from his own site, loses everything, shoots himself. |
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#11 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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And now, a little rewind. A day late and a buck short, but this HAS to be done for the humor!
Batista: hey Shannon, I gotta take a dump. Can you hold my title? Shannon: Sure thing Dave. *Dave goes into the restroom and gives Shannon Moore the title to hold on to* Shannon: Wow, this thing is HUGE!!!! *Triple H walks by, sees Shannon with the title, and runs away* *Days later, right before Vengance* Vince: So, Hunter, are you ready to become the 11 time world champion? HHH: No! That belt has jobber cooties! (then again, Seeing Shannon Moore with the title would make me pop... any title for that matter... so does that count?) (edit- Damn, late for the other one.... so this is two posts late... am I going to hell for this?) |
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#12 |
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Don't be hatin' bitch!
Posts: 874
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*Hardcore Holly wins the title*
Holly: Yeah! I beat Batista, I am Hardcore!! How do you like me now?! *the crowd walks out of the stadium* Holly: Well you must like me so much that you don't want to be near me! *Teddy comes out* Teddy: Hold on playa! I have good news and bad news for you. The bad news is you won't be given this championship because you won't be able to draw an audience. But the good news is I'm going to hand it to somebody who deserves it. And that man is Christian! Holly: No!!! Don't give HIM the title! *Christian comes out, takes the title and celebrates* Teddy: And I forgot Holly, Vince is releasing you. |
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#13 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Vince: Hey Bob! You want to be in the SmackDown! main event tonight?
Holly: SURE! I'll face anyone! Vince: Anyone? Holly: Don't worry, I can do it! Bring it on! Vince: You'll be facing Carlito, Rene Dupree, Matt Cappotelli, and Daniel Puder in a 4 on one handicap match! Holly: Great! Vince: Great! I'm sure you'll have a great match! *Vince walks away and Holly's smile turns into a look of terror.* Holly: Oooooh shit... |
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#14 |
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Cranky Kong
Posts: 78,671
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(Edge returns home to Lita)
EDGE: Hey baby! It's great to be back, we can finally spend some time together. LITA: Ummm.... EDGE: Wait a minute... (Edge looks to the kitchen counter and sees an empty bottle of Tequila, along with a used condom) EDGE: You got drunk and fucked somebody, didn't you! LITA: I'm sorry! EDGE: Who was it? GENE SNITSKY'S VOICE FROM INSIDE A CLOSET: It's not my salt! |
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#15 | |
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King K Cool
Posts: 28,472
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Quote:
Well I thought it was funny.
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#16 |
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SEX APPEAL
Posts: 13,830
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*Bradshaw is leaving the arena after a show, when all of a sudden, Mordecai runs up and starts beating him down*
Mordecai: Wrestling *punch* God? My savior is VERY *kick* angry with you! *knee* |
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#17 |
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*Oh Sh*t*
Posts: 19,302
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I liked your other one better.
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#18 | |
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SEX APPEAL
Posts: 13,830
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Quote:
![]() *Undertaker, Sara, and their new child are sitting in the living room* Undertaker: Sara, look! He's taking his first steps! Sara: I'm so proud! Undertaker: What's he doing with those matches? Sara: Put those down, honey! *Moments later, the entire room is in flames* |
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#19 |
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*Oh Sh*t*
Posts: 19,302
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#20 | |
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Viva la Raza
Posts: 3,539
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Quote:
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#21 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Just a suggestion, but how about one on 'JR-isms'?
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#22 |
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Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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Lita: Hi guys.
JR: Hi. King: Hi. Vince: Hi. Stephanie: Hi. Triple H: WHY IS THERE AN EASTER EGG IN MY GYMBAG? Lita: I dont know. Vince: You're fired! Lita: Me? Vince: No, me. Vince leaves. JR: BAH GAWD! THISDOESNOTREPRESENTKARMA! |
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#23 |
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I'm Mr. White Christmas
Posts: 44,526
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Raw Diva search in progress
Viscera:Oh Yeah I love me the white meat I've gots to have it Viscera proceeds to rape all of the contestants causing them to never come back |
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#24 | |
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*Oh Sh*t*
Posts: 19,302
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Quote:
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#25 |
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Kiss the blade
Posts: 8,284
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...I dont approve of those sort of sexual topics....
P.S tell your mom I left the money on the T.V |
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#26 | |
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I'm Mr. White Christmas
Posts: 44,526
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Quote:
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#27 |
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Cranky Kong
Posts: 78,671
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Rape =
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#28 |
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Posts: 18,357
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1000 pts go to Xero Limit and Anybody Thrilla
10,000 pts go out ot CoE's Taker joke. ![]() Jim Ross: Anatomy Teacher |
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#29 |
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*Oh Sh*t*
Posts: 19,302
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JR: I tell you what class BAHGAWD!
Class: What? JR: That stuff flowin through you ain't no BBQ SAUCE. Class: What? JR: BAHGAWD I feel like Austin. Student: What? Who? We just trying to figure out what the hell you talking about. JR: Oh, well you see I was referring to this liquid substance that flows trhough every inch of your body giving it the oxygen it needs in order for your body to properly function. Student: Thanks. JR: BAHGAWD! |
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#30 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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JR: NOW CLASS, BAHGAWD THIS IS THE STOMACH! ALL YOUR BASIC FOODS LIKE BAHGAWD PIZZA AND BAHGAWD CHICKEN AND EVEN BAHGAWD CEREAL GOES THROUGH HERE! WHEN IT'S ALL DONE, BAHGAWD THAT AIN'T FUDGE AND LEMONADE COMMIN OUTTA YOU!
(A student runs out of the room vomiting.) JR: BAHGAWD THAT VOMIT AIN'T MADE OUTTA BAKED BEANS! |
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#31 | |
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Viva la Raza
Posts: 3,539
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Quote:
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#32 |
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Cranky Kong
Posts: 78,671
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(Class has wrapped up. While most of the students rush to the door, a particularly attractive female student stays behind and approaches Jim Ross at his desk [where he wears a head set, for some reason])
FEMALE STUDENT: Mr. Ross, I'm having a pretty difficult time with this chapter. Is there any way I could earn some extra credit? (J.R. slowly starts unzipping his pants.) J.R. - Well, you little jezebel....have you ever heard of a 'slobberknocker'? |
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#33 |
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SEX APPEAL
Posts: 13,830
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J.R.: THESE COLLARBONES AREN'T MADE OF CHOCOLATE, they're made of calcium. BARBQUE SAUCE!...can, in large doses, hurt the lining of the stomach because of the citric acids inside of the solution.
Student: Why did you skip from the collarbones to the stomach lining? J.R.: STUNNER! |
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#34 |
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Kiss the blade
Posts: 8,284
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Kid: Mr. Jim Ross sir.......what happens if I jump on the lung?
J.R: NO, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD KID, DONT DO IT! (Kid jumps on lung) J.R: BAHGAWD THAT LUNG DONT HAVE A DAMN CLUE WHERE HE IS!!!1 |
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#35 |
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I'm Mr. White Christmas
Posts: 44,526
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JR:class open your books to page 56 Bahgawd stunner on Lou Thez by Kid Kash
Kid:huh??? JR:BahGawd Love my classroom or leave it you no good son of a bitch Kid
Last edited by Skippord; 07-04-2005 at 04:43 PM. |
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#36 |
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Cranky Kong
Posts: 78,671
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C'mon man, Rocco Rock is dead.
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#37 |
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I'm Mr. White Christmas
Posts: 44,526
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sorry
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#38 |
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I'm Mr. White Christmas
Posts: 44,526
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there fixed
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#39 |
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Cranky Kong
Posts: 78,671
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Haha, I was totally kidding. You can talk about Rocco Rock all you want, buddy.
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#40 |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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JR: Bah Gawd it's the flagship! Anatomy 101! Alongside this lifesize poster of the female body, I'm "Good Ol' JR" Jim Ross, live from the campus of Oklahoma University! Boomer Sooner!
STUDENT: Man, even Ah ain't that much of a redneck. Come on, sister/girlfriend. Let's go find a empty closet. [They leave.] JR: DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TA HELL! WHY? SON OF A BITCH! |
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