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09-06-2005, 10:25 PM
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#1801 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
  
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*We see Lita and Eugene in a bar, someone comes up to them*
Someone: Oh my god! It’s that one retard from wrestling! Eugene: *under his breath*god damn vince… Hi! I’m Eugene! Someone: No, I was talking about the girl. She can’t do anything right. |
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09-07-2005, 01:11 AM
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#1802 |
Posts: 18,357
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09-07-2005, 01:32 AM
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#1803 |
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Ninja Mod, Esquire
Posts: 12,676
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Headline in the New York Times.
WWE Superstar and Wall Street Analyst was arrested today at a Nazi rally.
Star also faces charges of hate crimes against Mexican Americans. |
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09-07-2005, 02:39 AM
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#1804 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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*in supermarket*
Checkout chick: Hope we see you again Matt Hardy: Screw you *insert Supermarket name*, I'll see you in RoH. |
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09-07-2005, 02:42 AM
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#1805 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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*At some guys home*
knock, knock Guy opening door: Um, can I help you Hardcore Holly: Hi sir I'm from the National Bank, and you haven't paid your due's... Guy: Eeep |
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09-07-2005, 03:07 AM
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#1806 |
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Ninja Mod, Esquire
Posts: 12,676
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Judge: Mr. Lawler, you are being charged with 18,343 counts of sexual harrassment, how do you plead?
Snitsky: Your honor, if I may talk on behalf of my client, I'd like to say.... IT WASN'T MY FAULT! Judge: Sir, I need to.... AAYYYYYAAAAHHHLLLLAAAAAAAAAALHHAAA JR: BAH GAWD! GO BACK TO IRAQ HASSAN!! Judge: Take the terrorist into custody. Hassan: You see, this is the hypocri...... (Hassan at this point gets clubbed in the back of the head with a nightstick.) JR: STUNNER!! BAWGAWD STUNNER!! STONE COLD!! STONE COLD!! STOLE COLD! Judge: Is there anyone here who's sane? Lita: I am. Lawler: PUPPIES!!! Judge: Make that 18,344 charges... Lita: Oh don't worry, I don't mind, I'm a dirty whore. (Lita then procedes to botch being a dirty whore, and instead marries and settles down, remaining loyal for the rest of her life.) At this point, UPN comes in, decides that this trial isn't PC, and demands that they instead reenact old Fresh Prince scenes, featuring John Cena as WIll Smith, Kerwin White as Carlton, Maria as Hilary, Eric Bischoff as Phillip, Linda McMahon as Vivian, Christy Hemme as Ashley, and Jericho as Geoffrey... The entire event was later adapted into a one man show on Broadway starring Triple H. Last edited by What Would Kevin Do?; 09-09-2005 at 12:28 PM. |
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09-07-2005, 04:01 PM
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#1807 |
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*Oh Sh*t*
Posts: 19,302
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 WWKD and Always damn I haven't had a laugh like that in a while.
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09-07-2005, 04:56 PM
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#1808 | |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Quote:
*weeks later* Checkout chick: Hi there and welcom-- Matt Hardy: I WILL NOT DIE!!!!! |
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09-07-2005, 05:16 PM
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#1809 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Benoit: Oh God, that damn burrito... TIME ME!
(Benoit runs into the bathroom and starts to moan...) Benoit: C'MON! C'MON! DAMN IT! OH GOD! *SPLASH* OHHHHHHHHHH YES! (Benoit comes out...) Benoit: How'd I do? Lita: Zero minutes and zero seconds!!! Benoit: ... 
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09-07-2005, 10:39 PM
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#1810 | |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Quote:
*edit- must spread rep* Last edited by FourFifty; 09-08-2005 at 01:18 AM. |
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09-08-2005, 12:06 AM
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#1811 |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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JEFF JARRETT: Hey, buddy! Watch where you're drivin'! You can't cut me off! I'm the King of the Mountain!
[The guy gets out of his car.] GUY #1: Oh, yeah! Well, I got news for ya, your highness. I'm going to-- [A pedestrian walks over.] GUY #2: Hey, is there a problem here? JARRETT: Yeah, the problem is that you just stepped into Planet Jarrett? GUY #2: Planet J-- What the hell? [All of a sudden, Guy #1 punches out Guy #2.] JARRETT: That's right! King of the Mountain! [Someone in a nearby car rolls down his window.] GUY #3: That didn't make any sense! Just a second ago, you two were fighting, and now he's on your side? GUY #1: What, you want a piece of me? GUY #3: No! What the hell is it with you people and fi-- [Out of nowhere, Guy #2 kicks Guy #3 in the head and shakes Jarrett's hand.] JARRETT: King of the Mountain! |
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09-08-2005, 12:13 AM
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#1812 | |
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Shadow Conspircy leader
Posts: 18,582
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Quote:
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09-08-2005, 01:12 AM
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#1813 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Gold. Just plain gold from everyone.
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09-08-2005, 05:32 AM
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#1814 |
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Posts: 61,531
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WOMAN: Garrison, I don't think we should be together anymore...
LANCE CADE: I'm Lance Cade...this is Trevor Murdoch...we're coming to pick up my stuff. TREVOR MURDOCH: I'll make you squeal!!!!!!!!!!! WOMAN: Uh... LANCE CADE: Can you feel it? WOMAN: I knew I should have stuck with masturbating to Deliverence.
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09-08-2005, 11:40 AM
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#1815 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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PA System at a store: Can Mr. Ken Kennedy please come to the front desk, we found your child... Ken Kennedy...
(After five minutes, rustling is heard on the microphone...) Kennedy: I'll show you how to announce MY name! Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm looking for the best looking man in this store. He stands about 6 feet 2 inches and is well built. His name is... MISTERRRRRR KENNEDY!.... Kennedy... Original guy (in the background): So do you want me to get your kid for you? Kennedy: Call him MISTERRRRRRRRRR JIMMY!.... Kennedy... |
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09-08-2005, 02:25 PM
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#1816 | |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Quote:
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09-08-2005, 08:28 PM
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#1817 |
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Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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Kevin Nash walks into the hospital.
Kevin Nash: Hi I'm Kev - AHHHH! Kevin falls on the floor, holding his leg. Doctor: Torn quad? That's the second time this week. |
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09-09-2005, 12:25 AM
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#1818 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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*at disney land*
Some Chick: Does anyone know where the line to Space Mountian is? Ric Flair:  Right here, WOOOOO!!!
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09-09-2005, 12:42 AM
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#1819 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Lets give the 1000 pts to Xero Limit. Again. What can I say? I'm a Kenney mark.
If wrestlers had their own bands. Go wherever you want with this. |
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09-09-2005, 12:48 AM
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#1820 |
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"Steven, your fossa!"
Posts: 9,603
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Guy on stage: Ladies and Gentleman, please welcome...Snitsky and the Bunions!
Snitsky (singing to the tune of "I like big butts") : I like you're feet and I cannot lie! You other pervs can't deny When a girl walks in, undoes her lace and shoves her foot in your face you get SPRUNG! |
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09-09-2005, 01:26 AM
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#1821 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Lita: Over in Killarney
Many years ago, Me Mither sang a song to me In tones so sweet and low. Just a simple little ditty, In her good ould Irish way, And l'd give the world if she could sing That song to me this day. "Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li, Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, hush now, don't you cry! Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li, Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, that's an Irish lullaby." Oft in dreams I wander To that cot again, I feel her arms a-huggin' me As when she held me then. And I hear her voice a -hummin' To me as in days of yore, When she used to rock me fast asleep Outside the cabin door. "Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li, Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, hush now, don't you cry! Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li, Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, that's an Irish lullaby." Vince: That was good Lita… but you said it was going to be Crazy Train…. *Lita’s lyrics* http://www.ireland-information.com/i...hlullaby.shtml An Irish Lullaby |
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09-09-2005, 01:34 AM
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#1822 |
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"Steven, your fossa!"
Posts: 9,603
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The Irish say mither? I thought it was a scottish word (for mother)
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09-09-2005, 01:37 AM
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#1823 | |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Quote:
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09-09-2005, 01:43 AM
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#1824 |
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"Steven, your fossa!"
Posts: 9,603
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damn it Lita!
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09-09-2005, 01:53 AM
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#1825 |
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"Steven, your fossa!"
Posts: 9,603
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Guy on stage: Next up... Chris Masters and the Urinals!
Masters (singing to the tune of Ghost Busters): If there's somethin' green in the wrestling ring Who could it be? (Chris Masters!) If it's roided up and it does one move Who could it be? (Chris Masters!) |
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09-09-2005, 11:22 AM
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#1826 |
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I am the cheese
Posts: 51,458
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Fozzy
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09-09-2005, 11:23 AM
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#1827 |
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I am the cheese
Posts: 51,458
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09-09-2005, 11:59 AM
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#1828 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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The Kerwin White Quartet w/ Special Guest Appearances by Mean Street Posse*
*Select Tour Dates Only. |
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09-09-2005, 03:30 PM
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#1829 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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*Lita is playing with a rubber band and shoots it right into her eye.*
Lita: Ow... *Lita does it again...* Lita: Ow... *Lita does this five more times and Edge comes into the room.* Edge: What's wrong? Lita: This new contact lens system sucks... |
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09-09-2005, 08:45 PM
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#1830 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Eugene: Can you take me HIGHER! Tra la la, something else, HIGHER!!!
Alter Bridge: M'eh, we've heard worse. The Former Lead Singer to Creed: 
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09-10-2005, 01:49 AM
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#1831 |
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R.I.P Tanner
Posts: 8,219
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Throw your dollar bills and leave your thrills all here with me
And speak but don't pretend I won't defend you anymore you see It aches in every bone, I'll die alone, but not for you My eyes don't need to see that ugly thing, I know it's me you fear If you want me hold me back Frail, the skin is dry and pale, the pain will never fail And so we go back to the remedy Clip the wings that get you high, just leave them where they lie And tell yourself, "You'll be the death of me" I don't need a friend, I need to mend so far away So come sit by the fire and play a while, but you can't stay too long It aches in every bone, I'll die alone, but not for pleasure I see my heart explode, it's been eroded by the weather...... Aliahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa |
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09-10-2005, 02:11 AM
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#1832 |
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Posts: 18,357
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1000 pts to Drakul.
 Inside the Vincent K. McMahon Library... |
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09-10-2005, 03:15 AM
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#1833 |
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Go Choke on a Chode
Posts: 4,179
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Fucking People out of the WWF Championship for Dummies
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09-10-2005, 03:21 AM
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#1834 |
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Posts: 61,531
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*At the top of the library shelf*
"If You Can Climb This High, You Are Too Fast and Need to be Grounded" Paul London: 
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09-10-2005, 07:28 AM
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#1835 |
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R.I.P Tanner
Posts: 8,219
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How to take care of your grapefruits
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09-10-2005, 08:48 AM
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#1836 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Vince: Hmm, I need a new idea...
*Vince goes to his library and picks out 'The Death of WCW'.* Vince: This baby hasn't failed me yet! |
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09-10-2005, 10:22 AM
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#1837 |
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*Oh Sh*t*
Posts: 19,302
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*Vince walks into his library and sees two books already laied out on a table.
Vince: Hmmm this is interesting. THere is how to make your product better. *Vince opens it up. Vince: Hmmm this looks like a lotta work. *Vince puts it downa nd looks at the other one. Vince; Hmmm, Tthis book seems shorter and I think I like this author too. *Book written by Triple H, how the glass ceiling works. Vince: Seems simpler. It just says give Triple H title and time. I'll go with this. |
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09-10-2005, 10:36 AM
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#1838 |
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King K Cool
Posts: 28,472
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*Vince is looking through all his books when he comes across a book that is locked*
Vince: hmmmm, whats this? *Vince tries to open it* Vince: Damn it's locked! HEY MASTERS, C'mere I want you to do something for me! Masters: What? Vince: You want a push? Masters: What, I thought I was getting a push? Vince: Whatever, can you use your master lock to unlock this? Masters: But the Master Lock isn't a key sir, it's a wrestling mov.... Vince: SHUT UP and unlock it. *Masters tries to unlock it and does* Vince: YES! Masters: Arent you forgeting something?  Vince:What? Oh yeah you're fired. Masters:
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09-10-2005, 10:55 AM
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#1839 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Nunzio: Mr. McMahon, I think the cruiserweights should get more air time...
Vince: What's a 'cruiserweight'? Nunzio: You know, the small guys? Vince: ... Hold on... *Vince runs to his library and gets out 'The Big Book of WWE Lingo'.* Vince: Let's see... Cruiserweight... Cruiserweight... Nope, not in here. Furthermore, I don't remember hiring anyone under 250lbs except for Shawn Michaels, so what the fuck are you doing here? |
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09-10-2005, 01:48 PM
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#1840 |
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Kiss the blade
Posts: 8,284
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*Idea*
for the next ow about wwe superstars sell their own products e.g undertaker does a comercial for a do it yourself tattoo kit |
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Linear Mode
