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#1841 |
As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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And now we see
* Edit- Fixed it, please don't sue! |
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#1842 |
FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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VINCE: Hmm. Time to brush up on the classics.
[He pulls down a hardcover copy of George Orwell's 1984.] VINCE: Let's see here. "We are at war with Eastasia. We have always been at war with Eastasia." Oh, say, that reminds me. [He presses his intercom button.] VINCE: Send in Matt Hardy. [The door opens.] MATT: Hi, Mister McMahon. Thanks for the-- VINCE: Listen, Matt, at the next pay-per-view, you're fighting Rob Conway in the ultimate grudge match. MATT: But I'm feuding with Edge. My grudge is with Adam for-- VINCE: You are feuding with Conway. You have always been feuding with Conway. MATT: No, I'm feuding w-- VINCE: Okay, that's it! Room 101! MATT: No! Not... VINCE: Oh, yes. [To intercom] Prepare the "Best of Jeff Hardy: The Promos" DVD. |
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#1843 | |
Shadow Conspircy leader
Posts: 18,582
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Quote:
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#1844 |
*Oh Sh*t*
Posts: 19,302
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*Vince walks into his room and sees a short book.
Vince: I like shot books. Let's see. Triple H is quite the accomplished writer. One page. cept it looks kinda thick. What keeps everyone else below me. Hmmm nice title. *Vince opens the book and sees a piece of glass. |
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#1845 |
The Caption Crippler
Posts: 8,855
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Loopy, where you come up with this stuff? I swear I wish I could suck the funny out of you and use it for my own diabolical purposes
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#1846 |
As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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To Kill A Midcarder....
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#1847 |
Posts: 61,531
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This so fucking great.
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#1848 |
Posts: 18,357
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lol
Sorry loopy, but Always450 just usurped the 1000 pts from you. ![]() What Heidenreich is doing in Mississippi right now... *cue the gun jokes* |
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#1849 |
R.I.P Tanner
Posts: 8,219
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*Heidenreich walking down the street with a shotgun singing*
The waves they came Making sure this city would never be the same Now i am here Looking for my father dear Shotgun in hand I search this land Looking for my father dearest (I still rape guys to prove I'm the queerest) I look for him night and day While others sit around and pray That I don't find father dear alive and well Because I can't keep us both supported in midcard hell And that was a poem by hiedenreich |
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#1850 |
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Heidenreich: Hey, do you want to be my friend?
Random Looter: No ma- *BOOM* (Heidenreich walks a little further and comes up to another looter.) Heidenreich: Do you want to be my friend? Looter: Hell n- *BOOM* (Heidenreich goes a little further and runs into another looter.) Heidenreich: Do you want to be my friend? Looter: Yeah, su-*BOOM* Heidenreich: Oh, did you say 'yes'? Whoops... |
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#1851 |
Taller than Adam Cole
Posts: 10,876
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(Heidenreich walks along, carrying two sawed-off shotguns. He sees a guy carrying a computer)
Heidenreich: Are you a Looter? Guy: No. Heidenreich: Why do you have that computer? Guy: I'm a member of the Internet Wrestling Community. (Out pops Brock Lesnar with an M-16. He pumps the guy full of lead. Heidenreich looks at Brock) Heidenreich: Do you want to be my friend? Brock: Ok... (Heidenreich gives Brock a hug) Brock: You Homo! (Brock empties a clip into Heidenreich) Brock: Now that Vince has lost a hoss, he'll HAVE TO Re-hire me! |
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#1852 |
As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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A Brock Lesnar Internet Joke.... Man, that takes me back!
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#1853 |
As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Okay, the “Will You Be My Friend” thing has already been taken, and someone already made a Brock Lesnar joke… where can I go from here…
*We see Heidenreich sitting in the back seat of a cab with a pistol in hand, loading it. A voice from the front says, “We’re here!” Heidenreich takes a moment to say a quick prayer, and he puts the pistol in a holster on his belt. He grabs a 12 gauge shot gun from the seat, and kicks the door wide open!* There were lovely patches of greensward all about, with stately trees bearing rich and luscious fruits. Banks of gorgeous flowers were on every hand, and birds with rare and brilliant plumage sang and fluttered in the trees and bushes. A little way off was a small brook, rushing and sparkling along between green banks, and murmuring in a voice very grateful to a While Three were men and one a woman, and all were oddly dressed. They wore round hats that rose to a small point a foot above their heads, with little bells around the brims that tinkled sweetly as they moved. The hats of the men were blue; the little woman's hat was white, and she wore a white gown that hung in pleats from her shoulders. Over it were sprinkled little stars that glistened in the sun like diamonds. The men were dressed in blue, of the same shade as their hats, and wore well-polished boots with a deep roll of blue at the tops. The men, When these people drew near the house where Munchkin: You are welcome, most noble Heidenreich: This is the last time I let Lita drive… If you don’t know where this came from, go to your public library, or go fuck yourself |
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#1854 |
SEX APPEAL
Posts: 13,830
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This is a poem by Heidenreich:
I've lost my family in Mississippi I'm going to live like a hippy..until I find them The city is in disarray Going to kill the looters, if I may With my guns, I'll live like Clyde and Bonnie They'll wish they never fucked with Little Johnny! |
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#1855 |
As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Well, if you want something done right, do it yourself. With all due respect, Corky, please don't sue. Glass ceiling, please don't hold me down...
The REAL reason why Mick Foley didn't sign with TNA... I'm a horrible bastard for doing this, and I'm going to hell... and that's not the first time I said that. |
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#1856 |
R.I.P Tanner
Posts: 8,219
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#1857 |
R.I.P Tanner
Posts: 8,219
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#1858 |
As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Vince: Hey Jeff Jarrett, race you to the top of the mountain! Winner signs Foley!
Jeff: Alrighty! *AND THEY’RE OFF!* Vince: Oh yeah! Look at me run! Oh no, Jeff Jarrett is starting to gain on me! Oh no, now he’s past me! Jeff: Huzzah! I shall win the right to sign Foley! I pwnz Foley! Bwa ha *TRIP! THUMP! CRASH!* Oh no! I tripped over nothing! It felt like someone tripped me! Steven Richards: ![]() Vince: Yay! Now I am on top of the mountain! I shall sign Foley! Jeff: THE HELL YOU WILL! I’LL MARCH UP THEIR AND KICK YOUR ASS! *Jeff starts to run, and bumps his head on something clear* OUCH! What the hell! I just hit my head on something! Triple H: ![]() ![]() Jeff: That's it! I'm going to talk about this on my website on the Internet! Brock: INTERNET? ![]() |
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#1859 |
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Vince: You get them back when you sign the contract...
*Foley signs the contracts.* Foley: Now can I have my kids back? Vince: What kids? Foley: ... DAMN YOU VINCE! |
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#1860 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Mick: Ok vince, Why should I sign with you and the WWE.
Vince: It'll make a good topic in Tpww's wrestling scenes from a hat Mick: *signs* done and done. |
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#1861 |
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Vince: Now, Noelle, do you remember how your daddy signs his name?
Noelle: Yeah. Vince: Okay, do it exactly like that! *Mick comes into the room.* Mick: I've thought about it and I don't think I'l... Noelle: I know how to sign like you, daddy! Mick: Oh, that's... Great... Honey... Go see mommy... Noelle: Hey mommy! I can sign daddy's name! Mick: ... Well, at least I won't have to wrestle on a regular basis... Vince: Actually... Mick: Oh fuck you Vince. |
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#1862 |
FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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MICK: Yeah, I'm really looking forward to working with Raven for the Wor-- Wait, what happened in Canada?
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#1863 | |
BISONICA
Posts: 2,681
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Quote:
So ironic. |
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#1864 |
R.I.P Tanner
Posts: 8,219
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Mick (talking over phone): I can't wait to work under Dusty's writing skills, wait, what do you mean he was fired from TNA.......He's working where now. Oh uh I gotta go, bye.
Must.....Call.....Vince |
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#1865 |
As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Vince: Mick, come here... please... As a friend...
*Foley gets right up to Vince's face* Vince: The thing is... *AHEM!!!* The thing is... Mick: The thing is what? Vince: I SAID THE THING IS!!! Mick: ....? Vince: Okay, the thing is was a cue for Lita to come out with a blow dart to drug you into doing something you normally wouldn’t do. It also affects your memory so you’d think you’re doing it for the first time and when you come to somehow your actions seem vindicated. Go on, sign with TNA. Mick: Oh Vince, you’re such a kidder! Come on, give me that pen. Vince: Kidder… ![]() *Mick signs with the WWE again* Vince: Thank you very much Mick! Mick: Now as you know I have some limits. I was talking to my wife and the thing is--- *Lita bursts into the room with a blow dart and shoots Vince in the neck with it* Lita: My work here is done… AWAY! *Lita hops out the window in a superhero fashion and botches gravity* Vince: …HEY! Let’s fire Charlie Hass! Oh, another idea! Let’s push Masters! He’s a good solid guy who the people love! How about we push Triple H and play hard ball with Spike TV! Damn it, I’m a genius! Somebody, get me a victory twinkie! |
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#1866 |
Posts: 18,357
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Lets rehash an old one...
Classic movie scenes done WWE style |
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#1867 |
Posts: 18,357
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I gave the 1000 points to Always450, for the record.
Not that it matters. |
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#1868 |
R.I.P Tanner
Posts: 8,219
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Woman: What ever shall I do, Where ever shall I go.
Man: Frankly my dear I don't give a d..... ALIYIHYIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Man: Gosh darnit Hassan. |
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#1869 |
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Vince: YOU... ARE... A... JOBBER! YOU ARE HUNTER'S PLAYTHING!
Jericho: You are a strange, sad little man, and you have my pity. Vince: Oh yeah? Well you're fired! |
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#1870 |
FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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[Vince steps back for just a moment, watching as Justin continues to inch his way to his feet and then, just before the Chairman is about to strike again, Justin manages a little flick of his own and Vince hadn't expected it, and he jumps back, makes a little involuntary cry of surprise. Cut to Justin slowly pushing away from the wall.]
JUSTIN [All but inaudible]: Hello. My name is Aldo Montoya, you killed my heat; prepare to die. [Vince suddenly goes into a fierce attack, striking with great power and precision for he is a master swordsman, and he forces Justin easily back, drives him easily into the wall. But he does not penetrate Justin's defense. None of the Chairman's blows get home. As the Chairman steps abck for a moment, cut to Justin pushing slowly off from the wall again.] JUSTIN [A little louder]: Hello. My name is Aldo Montoya, you killed my heat, prepare to die. [Vince attacks, slashing with wondrous skill. But none of his blows get through and, slowly, Justin again moves forward.] JUSTIN [A little louder still]: Hello. My name is Aldo Monotya. You killed my heat. Prepare to die. VINCE: Stop saying that! [Vince retreats more quickly around the table. Justin drives for the Chairman's left shoulder now, thrusts home where the Chairman had gotten him. Then another move and his blade enters Vince's right shoulder, the same spot Justin was wounded.] JUSTIN [all he's got]: HELLO! MY NAME IS ALDO MONTOYA. YOU KILLED MY HEAT. PREPARE TO DIE. VINCE: No-- JUSTIN: --offer me a contract-- [And now the sword strikes and there is a slash bleeding along one of Vince's cheeks.] VINCE: --yes-- JUSTIN: --pull too--promise me that-- [The great sword flashes again, and now there is a parallel slash bleeding on Vince's other cheek.] VINCE: --all that I have and more please-- JUSTIN: --offer me everything I ask for-- VINCE: --anything you want-- JUSTIN [roaring]: I WANT MY HEAT BACK, YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH! |
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#1871 |
Posts: 18,357
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![]() Altho that old caption with Kane and Shane was funner. I think NowhereMan did that one... or someone, I can never remember who. ![]() |
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#1872 |
Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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Kane, dressed up as a nanny, loses his face and is in the kitchen with the kettle turned all the way on. Lita, the Mrs. Sellner of this version, comes in.
Lita: Mrs. Bornfire! The water's bubblin! Kane suddenly pops up with chocolate cake all over his face. Kane: Liiiiiiiiiiiittaaaaaaaa! Lita: AHHHHH! Kane: HEHEHEHEHEH! |
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#1873 |
As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Guy: Who is Spartacus?
Spartacus: I am Spartacus. Dude 1: No, I am Spartacus! Dude 2: No, he's not. I am Spartacus. Dude 3: I am Spartacus! Every dude there: I am Spartacus!!!! Lita: Well, it was the first guy. Everyone else just got on the bandwagon to help save him. In speaking of bandwagons, ...Kennedy |
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#1874 |
Posts: 18,357
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If Brock Lesnar was a computer/internet instructor...
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#1875 |
love yourself
Posts: 47,788
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Brock: Now right click here...
... RAWRRRRRRRRRRRR BROCK SMASHHHHHHHHHHH, I SAID RIGHT CLICK |
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#1876 |
Posts: 18,357
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LESNAR: Now, the internet is a diverse place, but there are some sites that are naughty that you should never visit.
STUDENT: Which ones would those be? LESNAR: Well, basically, all the ones that begin with www. STUDENT: But that's all of the-- LESNAR: SHUT UP FATTIE FAT FAT FACE!!! Whoa, sorry, no idea where that came from. Seriously. But yeah. Web sites suck. |
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#1877 |
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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(Flashback to when Brock found his hatred for the Internet and gays...)
Student: Hey, Mr. Lesnar, I found this really cool site that we could share in class! Maybe you should check it out! Lesnar: Oh yeah? What is it? Student: G-O-A-T-S-E-DOT-C-X! Lesnar: Let's se-... Oh my... Oh my G-.... What th-... WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!? Student: ![]() Lesnar: FAGGOT INTERNET! RAAWRRRR! *Brock mauls the student half to death.* Lesnar: ASSHOLE! *Kick* |
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#1878 |
FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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BROCK: Okay, now scroll down until you find the tab for "Properties."
STUDENT: ![]() BROCK: Then you'll... Are you paying attention? STUDENT: ![]() BROCK: Yes, hello. You're going to want to find the Setting section. now, set your Screen Resolution to...GODDAMMIT, why aren't you following my instructions?!? STUDENT: ![]() BROCK: GAH! This is the last time I try to do this shit. STUDENT: ![]() [Brock leaves.] STUDENT [in Japanese]: Why was that crazy gaijin yelling? (Get it? 'Cause he's wrestling in Japan now? Aw, forget it) |
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#1879 |
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Brock: Now, lock the taskbar.
Student: Brock the taskbar? Okay! *Student F5s the computer.* Brock: ![]() |
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#1880 |
Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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Brock: Okay, to begin press any key.
Kid: Where's the any key? |
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