Rate the Game: Week 114

[M-A-G]

Fuck my ass, another late start on this mofo. What is wrong with me? Anyways, welcome to all who dare tread these waters with me. It's Rate the Game time! Last week, the harrowing adventures of one Guybrush Threepwood were put under the microscope as we looked back at his game, The Secret of Monkey Island. Let's not waste any more time in divulging the secret of how well it did among us on TPWW. We go to the leaderboard....

Rate the Game Results

1. (TIE) The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (4.8)
3. (TIE) Hitman: Codename 47, Mass Effect (4.75)
5. Goldeneye 007 (4.72)
6. Super Mario Bros. 3 (4.7)
7. Silent Hill 2 (4.66)
8. (4-WAY TIE) Chrono Trigger, Portal, Red Dead Redemption, Silent Hill 3 (4.5)
12. (3-WAY TIE) Mega Man 2, Donkey Kong Country, Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars (4.44)
15. Super Mario Bros. (4.41)
16. God of War (4.4)
17. Mega Man X (4.36)
18. (TIE) Metal Gear Solid, BioShock (4.33)
20. Perfect Dark (4.3)
21. (TIE) Shadow of the Colossus, The Last of Us (4.28)
23. Super Street Fighter 2 (4.15)
24. Sonic the Hedgehog (4.14)
25. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (4.125)
26. Super Mario 64 (4.07)
27. (TIE) Grand Theft Auto 3, The Legend of Zelda (4.06)
29. NBA Jam (4.05)
30. (13-WAY TIE) Super Mario Kart (4.0)
- Sonic the Hedgehog 2
- Super Metroid
- The Simpsons
- Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
- Donkey Kong Country 2
- Resident Evil 4
- Super Smash Bros.
- Banjo-Kazooie
- EarthBound
- Fallout 3
- Mirror's Edge
- Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3
43. Final Fantasy 7 (3.94)
44. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time (3.92)
45. Mega Man (3.89)
46. (3-WAY TIE) Contra, Castlevania, Devil May Cry (3.86)
49. Half-Life 2 (3.85)
50. (TIE) Half-Life, Infamous (3.83)
52. (TIE) SimCity 2000, Final Fight (3.8)
54. Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver (3.77)
55. Batman: Arkham Asylum (3.76)
56. (TIE) Double Dragon, Max Payne (3.75)
58. Tetris (3.69)
59. Mortal Kombat 2 (3.67)
60. (3-WAY TIE) Diablo, F.E.A.R., Alan Wake (3.66)
63. Mortal Kombat (3.65)
64. Doom (3.625)
65. StarFox (3.61)
66. Resident Evil (3.58)
67. (4-WAY TIE) Ninja Gaiden, Shinobi, Burnout Paradise, Dark Souls (3.5)
71. Dead Space (3.4)
72. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater (3.39)
73. Resident Evil: Nemesis (3.38)
74. (6-WAY TIE) Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, Condemned: Criminal Origins, Crash Bandicoot, Wolfenstein 3D, Left 4 Dead, Dead Island (3.33)
80. Gears of War (3.27)
81. (TIE) Uncharted: Drake's Fortune, Borderlands (3.22)
83. (3-WAY TIE) Quake, Duke Nukem 3D, Darkstalkers (3.2)
86. SoulCalibur (3.16)
87. Pac-Man (3.125)
88. Killer Instinct (3.11)
89. (TIE) Virtua Fighter, Rock Band (3.09)
91. (6-WAY TIE) Time Crisis, Tekken, Earthworm Jim, Metroid, Halo 2, The Secret of Monkey Island (3.0)
97. Guitar Hero (2.875)
98. Streets of Rage (2.84)
99. Altered Beast (2.8)
100. Bayonetta (2.75)
101. (3-WAY TIE) Dead Rising, Gauntlet, Assassin's Creed (2.71)
104. Saints Row (2.66)
105. (TIE) Silent Hill, The Sims (2.6)
107. Tomb Raider (2.55)
108. Halo: Combat Evolved (2.5)
109. (TIE) Twisted Metal, Crackdown (2.42)
111. Golden Axe (2.33)
112. Gran Turismo (2.3)
113. Ghosts n' Goblins (2.14)


Well, solid 3s all across the board can only mean one possible overall average. A 3.0 overall rating puts the Secret of Monkey Island in OK-ish territory but nowhere near the elites. Can any of the remaining games break through that upper barrier? We can begin to answer that question with only way. Bowl, let's do this thing!

via GIPHY

The pickings are getting slimmer by the week. Our 114th game to rate takes us back to the Super Nintendo's days of epic RPGs. It's Square's Final Fantasy 3! Or if you're a Japanese purist, Final Fantasy 6! Who can really make sense out of all that? That's not our job. Our job is to rate this sucker and share our thoughts on it, if any. Chrono Trigger and Super Mario RPG have already received stellar praise from us but how does this title fare in comparison? Does it deserve to outperform Final Fantasy 7? It's all up to you now. Until next week!