06-17-2004, 11:51 PM | #1 | |
As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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SmackDown captions (06/17/04)
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06-17-2004, 11:51 PM | #2 |
As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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SmackDown caption time of JOY! Because sometimes it’s fun to make fun of the pics before you know what’s going on. For some reason Bubba didn’t get why it was cool for Nidia to be blind in a story line but not him. The sad thing is Bubba is enjoying this more than Rico. To show inter-racial tolerance, SmackDown decided to have the red neck, the black guy, and the Jew do the YMCA. ECW loyalist take their revenge on Paul with poison darts to the fingertip. At this very moment the WWE writers get a fair warning. Now it’s unfair to call someone a homo when they’re upside down. How did Eddie get his push? Just look! God likes him! Spike: You’re gonna be forgotten about in a few months… Kenzo: What! I am a great Japanese wrestler! They can not forget about me! Spike: When you’re buried and forgotten about, tell Ultmio Dragon I said hi, okay? Bradshaw debuts his new gimmick as a thief when he announces he’s stealing air time from Paul London. Bradshaw could only stare at Eddie with a blank expression in his eyes because… oh, wait, my bad. He always has that blank expression in his eyes. Alas! Rey finds the edge of the glass ceiling! It’s bad when Thing calls the new Cruiser Weight champ a homo. …………does Luther REALLY need to take his lover out for show……….. After Torrie used Rhyno’s American Flag blanket she had to cut it off to cut a promo. RVD is getting ready to do some spectacular moves in the ring… and then he sees Rhyno in the crowd with the pop corn… Rene “The Dual Spouted Tea Pot” Dupree strikes with vengeance, and a laugh from Nick Patrick. Sin is in on SmackDown! While Cena gets ready to sample Rene’s “super size French Fry” on one side of the ring, Booker T and RVD fight over the last doobie snack. The Undertaker watches Raw. Paul Haymen: That’s right Mark! Rob is the head Raw writer! Fans of the roll up rejoice as they remember that at one point the Tombstone was also banned. |
06-17-2004, 11:58 PM | #3 |
my other rides your mom
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Insread of a devil an a angel, JBL had Guerrero on his shoulder giving decision making advice |
06-18-2004, 12:02 AM | #4 |
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RIP Sean O'Haire. |
06-18-2004, 12:19 AM | #5 |
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The Undertaker opens up his own water park This Log Ride is called "Ratings" It goes through the years. In the 1998 section you See pictures of DX vs "The Nation" along with Stone Cold vs Vince. In 99 You see Rock vs Foley. When You see a sign that says "Invasion" and you come to a 90 degree drop and land in Al Wilsons grave after leveling off. |
06-18-2004, 12:45 AM | #6 |
One Man Horror Show
Posts: 1,046
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Trying yet again to show that they can make an impact, Bubba Ray --- the new World's Strongest Man --- tows the entire wrestling ring backstage. The WWE's first Love In literally made D-Von sick to his stomach. The Dudleyz knew that Paul was happy that they won the titles and all, but they embarassedly turned away when he tried to lead them into a rousing chorus of "We are the Champions." "Huh? What's that Tink? Wendy's in trouble?" The Mafia delivers a warning to their nemesis, Count Dracula. Leave it to Doug Basham to blame his own brother for screwing up the human pyramid routine. Eddie was a brave man, but when shimmering Cocoon aliens descend into the arena, it was time to get the hell out of the ring. Kenzo: "I've grown accustomed to your face..." Spike: "Dear God." Kenzo: "You almost makes the day begin. I've grown accustomed to the tune that you whistle night and noon..." "Read my lips. No. New. Taxes." Bradshaw plays up to his Nazi gimmick again by wishing Eddie a "Sig Heil" wil a giant novelty hand. You know Rey is a hardcore "Tony Hawk" gamer when he grinds the ring ropes and does a 360 through the ref's hands! Seconds later, Rey regretted chewing on that sour Starburst. On WWE Fast Forward, we take a look at John Cena --- 10 years later --- at the bottom of the WWE roster with an embarrasing pedophile gimmick. You know you've had a few too many drinks when Uncle Sam looks hot. Rhyno invades the WWE when he discovers both Van Dam and Dupree have been raiding his monogrammed wardrobe. Nothing ruins a Rob Van Dam impression more than tripping over the guy himself. Everyone in the ring struggles to avoid the awesome magnetic pull of Renee Dupree. "What?!?! Bradshaw's STILL in the main event?" Taker: "Tell me, young man, what day is it today?" RVD: "It's ... ack ... Christmas Day! Let me go!" Taker and Cena botch a renactment of "The Bodyguard." |
06-18-2004, 01:19 AM | #7 |
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Bubba Rey: D-VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON GET SABLE !! Bubba: Rico, I think this can really work D-Von: Oh my god Bubba: Oh Rico, Rico: What Bub? Bubba: I just rembered, I would rather have a 3 some Heyman:*Yawn* So this is what Smackdown has been like since I came back Backstag hand: Keep em comein boyz, Rico wants his new rampy tig ready for next week Doug: How do ya like that "Latino" Danny: Yeah, you better be getting an orgasm Ref: Oh god, I have to puke Michael Cole: HEY, HEY, HEY Thats not right, the ref just pushed Eddie off the top ropes and on to Doug, Did you know Tazz thats what heels do, but you would'nt know because you have never been a heel eh? Kenzo: ERRRRRRRR Zike Dudley bo must feel me rath, MYSTERIO !!!! JBL: JUST BECAUSE I'M SWEETING PIGS DOSE NOT MEAN I GOT FIRED FROM CLBN BAH GAWD EDDIE, I WAS IN THE RING FIRST, TAXS, TAXS, TAXS, Rey: Can't catch me he he he Ref: Hi - 10 Rey !!!!!! Rey: Well I guess I won huh Ref Ref: LOW BLOW, LOW BLOW, LOW BLOW !!!!!!!! RING THE BALL, 1....2...3 Luther: So Uhhh, how dose it smell under there, bad? Oh SHIT!!!! I'm not ment to talk!!!!!! We are now treated to what JR was wearing at last years halloween RVD: So what do ya think? Dose it look like Dupree is down or what? ****Dupree Singing and Danceing**** I like to eat frogs they are so yumy !! I like PHEE PHEE But now that bitch is in my tummy Bokker: How many time must I tell you? It's 5 time 5 time 5 time 5 time 5 time WCW Champion, SUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Undertaker has just found out how much he REALLY gets paid *wink, wink* Undertaker think RVD is HHH |
06-18-2004, 01:24 AM | #8 | |
As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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My Fair Lady, right? Don't ask me how I know. |
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06-18-2004, 01:34 AM | #9 |
Inno Knows.
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SOMEBODY forgot his hemmeroid cream D-von: Huh, so thats what Bubba's penis looks like Bubba and D-von: YEAH! 18 time champions! Ric Flair: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Nobody is champ more than me *starts struting* To be the man you gotta.....*falls asleep* Paul: And remember...I am not telling you ANYthing that you don't already know Sean O'Haire (at his house): SON OF A BITCH! All the out of shape german/jewish internet fans have a surprise for Bradshaw Eddie: WHOA ESSE! THIS SWINGSET IS TRIPPY HOMBRE! Doug: He didn't hurt his neck did he? Realizing Eddie is too popular, Trips sends Eddie to popular wrestler purgatory. Kenzo: WHATS THE ANSWER?!? Spike: My heart is telling me Backstreet Boys... (rep for the reference) JBL: And that's the second time I got crabs... JBL: Waddya mean I'm getting fired?!?!? (sorry I got nothing for this) Rey: STOP! *Rey stops in mid-air* Rey:....Hammer time! Rey Mysterio, new "find the cream filling" champion Vince: So JBL this Nazi gimmick is going to go over really well, I even got you a new finishing move... ......................God Bless America RVD busts out the "stoner's elbow" to the delight of the crowd Upon hearing that HHH is visiting Smackdown, Booker assumes the position RANDY DID WHAT TO MY CAR!?!?!?!? Taker: Dude I must be tripping...you're in the main event slot RVD: No man I am Taker: |
06-18-2004, 01:39 AM | #10 |
WOOOOOOOOO!
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I am not, nor have I ever been, a member of the Nazi Party |
06-18-2004, 01:40 AM | #11 | |
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06-18-2004, 01:47 AM | #12 |
Mas Vagina Porfavor
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Big Momma Dudley always warned Bubba that if he made faces long enough that he'd get stuck that way. The Dudleys took it literally when they were told to take Rico and Charlie Haas for the "ride of their lives". Paul thought it'd be funny to swallow the spit wad shot at him. Paul tempted the giant fist to pull his finger, but he got nothing. Rhyno's super glue and Rosey's shit came in handy for once. Doug Basham got sloppy seconds on Eddie while the ref fought the awful after taste. Eddie does his "Lita doing a moonsault" impression. Kenzo's nose picking finisher was devastating. Bradshaw's proposal to change the Texas Bull-Rope match into a Concentration Camp match was quickly rejected. Eddie: "You can't wrestle for shit essa!" Bradshaw: "Hey wrestling is just as easy as tieing a tie." Rey tries to 1-up Rene Dupree's dancing by doing it on the top rope. Michael Cole: "Tune in to next week's Smackdown where we will see Crusierweight Champion Rey Mysterio defend the title against a vacuum cleaner." Luther: "Doesn't he bend like a Welshman?" Mr. America's astonishing return! Rene's invisible crucifix malfunctioned. Rene was sure to remember RVD's number after he wrote it on his hand. Seems like Rene was the only one who didn't take any drags out of RVD's stash before the match. Taker was furious when he found out that Paul Heyman stole his eyebrows. RVD learned the hard way that you don't smoke the ashes in the urn. The fans got pissed when Taker wouldn't finish the Tombstone for five minutes. |
06-18-2004, 01:48 AM | #13 |
Ron Paul 4 EVA
Posts: 152,467
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An outraged Bubba demanded the audience take back what they said about his mother. D-Von (To self): Damn, this is the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" ever. Paul Heyman: Once the head of the most Extreme wrestling federation on US TV, now only getting airtime on the condition that he deep throat a microphone. When "Paint drying" was the top rated segment on this week's Raw, the scriptwriters got the wrong idea. The Bashams' initiations had become increasingly bizarre. It was all fun and games until Danny suffered a seizure. FATALITY Layfield's Reagan character went over worse than last week's Nazi gimmick. JBL, your WWE Spelling Bee word is "responsibility." The audience was amazed that someone had managed to sneak above the glass ceiling. First he beat the glass ceiling, now this...Rey was beginning to suspect he was dreaming when he realised he was wearing nothing but a mask and a title belt. Uncle Sam has become ten times as popular since the sex change. Renee: It is cold out, no? The WWE's rendition of Peter Pan flopped when Dupree learned he couldn't fly after all. Nobody took Taker seriously when he told management he'd hold his breath until he turned blue if they didn't stop this stupid angle... The only way Undertaker knows how to "carry" someone in a match. |
06-18-2004, 01:54 AM | #14 | |
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Last edited by Back Stabbed; 06-18-2004 at 02:09 AM. |
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06-18-2004, 01:55 AM | #15 |
Mas Vagina Porfavor
Posts: 11,343
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TOASTYYYYY
Last edited by MVP; 06-18-2004 at 02:06 AM. |
06-18-2004, 01:57 AM | #16 |
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Taker: You seem somewhat familiar, have you jobbed to me before? *Rep for reference |
06-18-2004, 02:02 AM | #17 |
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Bubba: THATS IT COLE, GET YOUR ASS OUT OFF HERE, APART FROM JIM ROSS NO ONE CALLS ME A GOVERMENT MULE AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!! Bubba: Rico, I think it's time that we....... you know Rico: OWWW, Bubba, please get off your to heavey D-Von: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Heyman: *singing* Joy to the world our time has come D-Von: *singing* Shake ya bom bom shake ya bom bom shake ya bom bom Bubba: *Starts to sing Victoria's music* Heyman: *Yawn* So this is what Smackdown has been like ever since I came back Jeff Hardy will return Eddie: Come on Ref, it's not that bad....... is it? So we finaly see that JBL hired the Ref to throw Eddie off the top ropes Spike: Kenzo, I have something to tell you Kenzo: Mysterio? SPike: I have been sleeping with your wife Kenzo: MYSTERIO !!!!! Spike: Honestly, can you stop with the MYSTERIO please Kenzo: Mysterio? JBL: Unless you stop giveing Lita air time I swear to god I will suck evan more JBL: THATS IT!!! I WARNED YOU NO PAYING TAX PEOPLE Rey: Watch me as I fly in the air Chavo Class: I'm watching, I'm watching Ref: Hi - 10 Rey !!!!! Rey: HA, Told you I would win, NOW CAN YOU DIG THAT SUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, oh wait that's booker t's line, bite my tongue, bite my tongue, OWCH Take a good hard look at what Coach's caree will be in a few months, yep, smelling people arm pits Torrie: That's right guys, this is what JR is going to wear to Halloween this year JR out of no where: BAH GAWD ROCK BOTTOM, ROCK BOTTOM, ROCK, BOTTOM!!!!!!!! RVD: So this is what an arena looks like Rene: This is what I have to say to JBL's shitty promos Bokker T: If I step on his hands it might do something Undertaker just found out how much the are REALLY PAYING him Undertaker: SO you stole the last donut!!!!! Undertaker: Two word for ya, SUCK IT !!!!!!!!!!!! |
06-18-2004, 02:03 AM | #18 | |
Ron Paul 4 EVA
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06-18-2004, 02:05 AM | #19 | |
Mas Vagina Porfavor
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06-18-2004, 02:09 AM | #20 | |
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06-18-2004, 02:10 AM | #21 |
Elitist Member
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Chavo Sr: Hey essa, where did you get that sweet trampoline? Rey: Vince gave us all one as gifts at the last house show man. Hey man where is yours? Chavo Sr: .... Rey: Oh sorry man, I'd let you play on my other one but... you know... |
06-18-2004, 02:16 AM | #22 |
Now. Here. Man.
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Okay, I don't think I could do mine tonight without jobbing hardcore to Santo. I'm gonna take the night off and come back tomorrow after I've gone bowling.
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06-18-2004, 02:28 AM | #23 |
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The Undertaker reacting to Triple H showing nude photos of Steph while shes passed out on the bed drunk at last years WWE Christmas Party. Taker: Prepare for Eternity in Hell! Cena: Wait Hold on! Theres a huge spider on your pants! Taker: What! *Screams* Kill it! KILL IT! |
06-18-2004, 07:59 AM | #24 |
Diabetes Coming To Getcha
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Ref: Hey Kenzo, you may be controlled by hate and revenge, but my grandmother is controlled by a poopy-bag. |
06-18-2004, 08:31 AM | #25 |
Triple A's a bitch
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Alrighty then.....
Even Cole agreed that the Dudley's new entrance theme sucked. None of them ever imagined that they would enter the ring singing 'The Sun'll come out tomorrow' from Annie, the Musical. The WWE Writers latest blunder had twisted the traditional values of a hardcore match into something much more 'sexual'. Bizzarely, Bubba seemed to be rather enjoying it! Fat Bas>tard: Ooohhhh! Right in the meat and two veg! That's gotta hurt! Heyman's habit of burping at inappropriate times was getting difficult to manage. This is what happens when you break Kayfabe. The coffin should never have talked! Brain Hebner was sickened at the direction that Danny Bashan was calling this match. The longer it went on, the more homosexual it looked. Eddie decided that now was as good a time as any to pray to Mecco. The ref's chin dropped in amazement when Spike proposed. Couldn't he have picked a better time? JBL: Fact of the day! Crabsticks do not actually contain any crab, and from 1993 manufacturers have been legally obliged to label them 'crab-flavoured' sticks. Another one next week on Smackdown! When Eddie mocked Bradshaw's Crab facts, JBL grew irate and stomped on his hat. Petulance is a great trait in boring heels. Ask Bob Holly! The ref called a touchdown, but Mysterio hadn't made it to the ground yet. No wonder there was match-rigging alegations in pro-wrestling! Rey: CREDIBILITY - HERE I COME! Luther: Can you smell what the rock is cooking? Torrie: I would explain to you why I'm wearing this outfit, but then I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. O'Haire at home: WTF? RVD finally got it! The R on Dupree's right kneepad stood for Rene! Sadly, Rob still hadn't figured out what the D on the left stood for. Rene*dancing*: I am so smart, I am so smart, S M R T, I mean S M A R T! Rep for ref? When Booker T and RVD heard the voice of HHH say 'Assume the position' they thought their time had come for a main event shot again. Booker quickly bent over the ropes, while Rob got into shoe-licking position. Meanwhile Cena was going through the same mental anguish that had incapacitated RVD earlier. If R was Right, then what was D? Taker: WHO SAID I'M BALDING?....DAMNED INTERNET FANS!!!! Taker: YOU'RE AN INTERNET FAN! RVD: comic-books-comic-books-comic-books.....and dope! Taker decided he needed someone to work a computer for him, so he took Cena. Taker still hadn't realised that holding someone upside down and banging their head off the keyboard doesn't exactly constitute typing. Major suckage on the caps this week. |
06-18-2004, 08:39 AM | #26 | |
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06-18-2004, 10:53 AM | #27 | |
As over as Crystal Pepsi
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06-18-2004, 10:58 AM | #28 | |
Triple A's a bitch
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I'll give the rep, because it was the Simpsons, but the singer was Homer. |
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06-18-2004, 10:59 AM | #29 |
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^ Hi big_bluto!
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06-18-2004, 11:01 AM | #30 | |
Triple A's a bitch
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Still pushing the post count up then? |
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06-18-2004, 11:02 AM | #31 |
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Yeah
Only 30 from the big Triple 0 ! |
06-18-2004, 11:06 AM | #32 | |
Spammy Certified
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06-18-2004, 01:59 PM | #33 | |
Mas Vagina Porfavor
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06-18-2004, 02:09 PM | #34 |
EL MERO MERO!
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Standing Basham: Your roll-up is a homo-- Other Basham: Help me! After complaints that his old finisher was weak,Kenzu decided to make a new one. This time he tortured his victim by singing 80's hair metal ballads. Kenzu: I REMEMBER , I REMEMBER YOU!! Spike: (taps out) Torrie: HO HO HO! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Ref.: Shoot this man in the nipple. There is a reason why he nicknames this one "the Other Last Ride." Why this fued needs to end now: Eddie: You are a poopoo head. Bradshaw: ...you win this round. Thank god Booker distracted the crowd because Cena seemed to be too enchanted on Rene's new Kangol shoes. The main reason to ban the roll-up: D-von is a pervert. D-von: That right..stand in the back. Oh yea.. |
06-18-2004, 04:54 PM | #35 |
Ron Paul 4 EVA
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[QUOTE=[font=Century Gothic]
Bradshaw is pissed when Eddie reveals that his stock success came from DaimlerChrysler, Ford, GM, Volkswagen, and BMW, via a broker firm known as übermoney. [/font] |
06-18-2004, 05:16 PM | #36 |
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Bradshaw wasn't just upset at Edde, he was fuming at Benoit for levitating his hat away. Bradshaw also ignores the sound of 8,000 seats slamming up. |
06-18-2004, 05:29 PM | #37 |
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Haven't read any of them, so don't mean to rip anyone off.
Bubba could tune out the heckling, but when a fan ran by and stole his shorts, Bubba had had enough. Hardcore as he was, even D-Von got a little woozy from his close-up of Bubb and Rico's Triple H/Stephanie impression. Tension mounted as Heyman prepared to swallow the 64th microphone. Only one more and he'd break the record! Stephanie's make-up order was here. OR Paul London's appearance on SmackDOWN! proved that he had indeed been buried. Eddie didn't appreciate Danny grabbing Little Eddie while Doug called it a homo. Eddie's Triple Sunburst Splash was a big hit with the fans as well as God. The referee signs to a deafened Spike that he must talk to Kenzo's hand or face the consequences. "And THAT is why you should never try to peak at the salad dressing!!" Frustration struck when it finally occurred to Mr. Gore that he in fact did NOT invent the internet. Rey didn't appreciate Brian using his telekinetic powers to shoot Mysterio through the roof. OR Rey Mysterio amazes fans even more by jumping his invisible skateboard through Hebner's outstretched arms and over Chavo Classic. Thing: "LOOK! REY IS MISSING A NIPPLE!!!!" Indeed, nothing turned Luther on more than making other people smell his armpits while he posed in the nude. Uncle Sam's Extreme Makeover was spectacular, to say the least. It was awkward and uncomfortable, thought the ref, but someone had to give RVD his mid-match butt cheek massage. Renee was just about to hit a standing hilo when his right leg suddenly gave out and he pulled a Nash. Taker was quite pissed when he found out people had been calling him Van Helsing. OR Never... make the Undergraper angry... Taker was quite swept up in the passion and fury of... the Dance! After the show is over, Mark kindly helps with putting away the Cena mannequins. Last edited by Corkscrewed; 06-18-2004 at 07:45 PM. |
06-18-2004, 07:33 PM | #38 | ||
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06-18-2004, 07:49 PM | #39 |
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Wow, now that I've read them all, I'm amazed. Everyone (except me) was on FIRE!!! Great stuff guys.
Heyman insisted what he had to say was enlightening, and when the fans didn't believe him, he used his finger to prove it. "WHADDYA MEAN I HAVE TO STAY IN THE BACK????" When the ring started to sink in the first-ever Titanic Match, Booker T was the first to get the heck outta here. In an absolute stunner, Hillbilly Jim made his grand return and sent a feud-igniting message to the Undertaker. |
06-18-2004, 08:16 PM | #40 |
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Bradshaw, after Eddie told him John would be feuding with and putting over a shrubbery following the Great American Bash. |